I could cry

Discussion in 'Lighter Life Forum' started by asilasil, 2 June 2009 Social URL.

  1. asilasil

    asilasil Full Member

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    Today I am entering into my 13th week of doing Lighterlife.
    I went to tonights meeting and had a really great loss this week. I was soooooooooo pleased. Then our councillor took our photos.During our meeting our photos were developed and returned to us with our 'before' photos. My councillor had placed the present ones on the top and the 'before' ones at the bottom. I looked at the top photos and shuddered and thought how awful I looked and that I didn't think I looked as though I had lost any weight. Then I saw the photos underneath. Thats when I could have cried. I felt sooo gutted at the site of myself. I never saw that person when I looked in the mirror. Im not really sure who I saw but sure as eggs are eggs...it wasn't THAT person. I suppose I felt sad for the old me. I cant ever go back to that...not ever.
    I am so thankful that I decided to change my life. I still have a little distance to go before I am happy with my weight but I am pretty certain that I will always stay with Lighterlife one way or the other...its been my saviour to be really honest.
     
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  3. Blonde Logic

    Blonde Logic Yes. You can.

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    I COMPLETELY understand exactly what you are saying. One of my "before" pics I put in my signature, the once of me stepping up, looking like I am about to die...when I saw that, with "open eyes" it absolutely broke my heart to see what I had done to myself.

    I NEVER saw that person in the mirror. EVER.

    I believe, for me, it was a built in safety mechanism - that if I saw what I truly looked like I would never have left the house. Or worse.

    It was a real eye opener indeed.

    I could have written your above post, word for word, because I felt exactly the same - and like you said - it made me know, without any ounce of doubt - that I would never, ever, evereverever return to who and what I was. Ever. That was the day my determination and resolved permanently turned to steel. :)

    <hugs> Its a sad/hard but good lesson.

    xx
     
  4. Blonde Logic

    Blonde Logic Yes. You can.

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    oh - and - do we get to see these photos miss? It is kind of a LL tradition ya know! :D ;)

    xx
     
  5. Jo B

    Jo B Full Member

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    I know how you feel - not quite at the LL photo stage yet but 2 years ago I was 4.5 stone heavier than I am now. I found some of those photos last week and was shocked. Don't get me wrong I am not exactly a perfect specimen now but then - OMG, I was horrified, I looked like a walking blob. The problem is the person you see in the mirror is very rarely the person that you see in photos/other people see. The one thing it definitely taught me was that I will never go back to that...
     
  6. daisydoll

    daisydoll Gold Member

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    hi
    i know exactly what you mean.

    i was gutted when i saw my before pics - i never realised how bloody awful i looked!
    i was embarrased that i had actually thought the clothes i wore hid my fat.

    its strange as usually i look ok on pics , which is why i think i got so big - but the LL ones were horrid

    i'm never going back there

    daisy x
     
  7. snannapuss

    snannapuss Full Member

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    OMG! I thought it was just me! When i saw my 'befores' i asked friends and family why they never told me i was so fat, i hadn't ever 'seen' myself like that, they said that they hadn't either and it was only now that they could see what i looked like.
    I'm like daisy, i was thought i looked ok on photos so thought i ws getting away with being fat...................not so! Seeing those photos made me realise what people that i saw on the street saw me as.
    I was like a barrel and just couldn't see it.
     
  8. iceycold

    iceycold Full Member

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    I'm definitely with you all on this one, I always believed I was covering it up with the clothes, and that no-one would notice, and I was not taht bad. I never saw the real me.
    Perhaps it's because we see ourselves everyday, and in a day our weight only changes by a few ounces or so. Maybe that's how we let it happen.- we don't notice the tiny daily changes.
    And those snap shots 13 weeks apart really hit home.
    I was appalled. How on earth could I have gone out in the world, even to work, looking like that.
    Reality check. Never again.
     
  9. jcjazzy

    jcjazzy Silver Member

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    Lisa, Don't be upset.You took the bull by the horns and did something about it.You are not alone.I used to convince myself I looked fab with nice clothes and make-up too,but bizarrely felt invisible and inside I was ashamed.Its not just anorexics who have distorted body images, I think obese people have it too.Perhaps we need to be deluded in some way for self-preservation.You are doing fab,acknowledge the past and move on xxxxxTake care
     
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  10. sukie sue

    sukie sue this is My time to shine!

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    oh im right with ya ladies , i still get oh so sad looking at old pics , i just dont recognise myself , how did it get to that ???but jcj is so right we should all be saying a big well done to ourselves , because no matter which stage we are at now , we chose to change , and here we are .... doing just that . way to go ladies !!!!:D:D:D
     
  11. asilasil

    asilasil Full Member

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    Okay...well Im gonna be brave and have added the awful before and after pics below.....Im dying of embarrassment right now:mad:

    Anyway..the one on the left was taken on my first day...the centre one was taken 4 weeks ago and then the last one was taken at last nights meeting. None of them are nice to see but Im sure after a few weeks on development I will be proud to put some nicer ones on here.
    Thanks for all you comments guys....I feel better that I am not weird in my thoughts...lol
    xx
     

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  12. Blonde Logic

    Blonde Logic Yes. You can.

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    Hey ALi! WoW!!!! You can SO see a difference - you are doing realllly great! :D :D Well done for being brave!! And there is NOWT to be embarassed about. You're beautiful, inside and out!

    Keep rockin it chick!! Fantastic results so far, and just wait - its gonna fly now! :)
     
  13. daisydoll

    daisydoll Gold Member

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    - great pics -you can really see the difference!
    daisy x
     
  14. jcjazzy

    jcjazzy Silver Member

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    Well done Lisa.You are looking great-what a difference from the start of foundation.
     
  15. iceycold

    iceycold Full Member

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    Well done, big difference,
    Look forward to the next piccies
    xx
     
  16. LL Gal

    LL Gal Beautiful day

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    Your loss is impressive and seeing your pics is so encouraging for those of us starting out, thank you for posting them.
     
  17. asilasil

    asilasil Full Member

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    Thanks guys...as always your words (positive strokes:)..) are much appreciated and err dare I say...needed!
    muchos love to you all
    xxxxxxxxxx
     
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  19. mikey

    mikey Silver Member

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    You have done great - looks like you have been photoshop'd you have lost so much fat!

    Keep up the great work
    Mike
     
  20. Slimseaa

    Slimseaa Silver Member

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    Happy for you A! I agree, when we get to this certain size, we don't see what others see. I was the same when I did LL 1st time round. I mean the biggest I have ever been was nearly 23st, then shed 3st myself and went to under 20 when i started LL. So i know believe me.

    Well done, keep telling yourself your beautiful both inside and out, good luck :)
     
  21. sukie sue

    sukie sue this is My time to shine!

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    wow you fantastic change well done !!!
     
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