I don't know what to do with myself

Discussion in 'General Weight Loss Discussion' started by RainbowRose, 28 July 2009 Social URL.

  1. RainbowRose

    RainbowRose Gold Member

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    :eek: I don't even know if I'm on the right forum???? I thought of putting it in the strugglers section, but anyway here I am trying not to sound sorry for myself, but failing at that also.

    I won't bore you all with the whole story, but I've managed to gain the 4lbs I only lost last week, because I completely let myself down at the weekend.

    I don't know where my head is at, somewhere it shouldn't be obviously. I've never gave up so quickly and easily before and I am so unhappy with myself. I just want the lightbulb to click back on...don't even know why it switched off?

    I was so determined and motivated now its gone and right now, I can't feel it coming back. Everyone is so inspiring and motivated and I finally believed I found the place to get me to my goal once and for all. I've been on here every day and the past few days all I've felt was a heavy heart and angry at myself. I'm not looking for sympathy, I'm really not, but typing how I feel has helped a bit, but the motivation is just not happening? I'm not usually such a sad or depressed person, but its all just getting to me today. Apart from lots of kicks up the backside (PLEASE :)) from everyone..I don't know what to do with myself.

    I know I've got to want to do it, and the stupid thing is I do, but without a bit of get up and go and self belief..it just won't kick in THIS time!

    Sorry for the depressing post, I'm going to click send before I chicken out...
     
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  3. mealiepuddin'

    mealiepuddin' Full Member

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    Diet:
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    I am so sorry that you're having a BLAH time..... I can relate to that feeling, believe me!

    I think food is like sex, when you don't or can't have it, it's all you think about - and when you can or do have it, you think of other things! :)

    And that's how it is..... simple human brain maths. You're not alone out there....

    So MANY things influence our ability to sustain motivation when tackling such a mammoth task - or mammoth it seems!:rolleyes:
    I relate to your feeling when I've had financial problems, relationship problems or just any problems. See, whenever a problem knocks on my door, my brain sends a message to the rest of the body - it's actually encoded, but in plain english means "fcuk it". I generally ends up hoovering any thing in sight and this may last several minutes, hours or days, weeks, months. And actually, it's a waste of a golden opportunity.

    I am so aware of this now and I know how easily I let stress affect my eating pattern, that I have now decided NOT to make a big deal of DIETING as such. I'm on a long term journey and if I screw up one day, I will make amends the next. We end up spending too much time beating ourselves up and wasting energy on what could've been.

    We're all rooting for you! Get up and dust yourself down. Feeling like a failure is such a soul destroying emotion. Don't let it get the better of you now.

    Why not try and set smaller goals - you will achieve them much quicker.

    I am sure that all the ladies and gentlemen on here will be only too happy to boot you up the bahookie, but most of all, you will have to do it yourself. I can see and hear that that is what you want. Let the weekend be something of the past and let's crack on......... I'm happy to chat any time!

    Sending you a truck load of hugs!! :)

    xx
     
  4. RainbowRose

    RainbowRose Gold Member

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    Thanks mealiepuddin :)

    You make so much sense and the frustrating thing is, that's how I normally react..bad day..oh well forget it..next day, new day, new start..but this time I feel on a downward spiral, i've even posted on the weight loss surgery section as I am starting to think a gastric band is the answer???? I can't believe I'm feeling so downheartened and unhappy.

    I have no one to talk to or confide in, that's why I was so sure this site would be so beneficial to me.

    Oh well, here's hoping tomorrow will be a brighter day and I'll sleep on the gastric band idea..though surgery does scare me.:eek:

    God, I am so confused :confused:

    Thanks for replying, I'll give myself that biggest and hardest kick up the bahookie and make 100% effort to get back on track.

    "tomorrow is another day :)"
     
  5. mealiepuddin'

    mealiepuddin' Full Member

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    11st0lb
    Lost(%):
    2st7lb(14.46%)
    Diet:
    Low Carb
    You can talk to us all here - that's the nice thing - no one judging.

    What sort of obstacles do you face when you're losing weight ie. what will cause the lovemaking session to the fridge contents and what will you indulge in? Do you crave certain things? Do you have children?

    Maybe some one else is experiencing something similar. You will get some great advice.

    I know little about the gastric band..... It might be quite drastic when you will have to change your mind set anyway, even after the surgery.

    Please stay put here...... there are so many people here with inspiring stories and I bet is wasn't all plain sailing for them.

    xx
     
  6. Iris

    Iris Full Member

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    Diet:
    Calorie counting (also known as relentless self-denial)
    Big hugs, Rose, I know how you feel - I started with loads to lose and it felt like trying to climb a mountain in the early days. The only thing that got me through was baby steps. I accepted that this was going to be a long haul, asked myself what the rush was anyway - I'd been yo-yo'ing for years so taking it off once and for all slowly and steadily would actually save me time - and I decided I just had to think long term.

    Be gentle with yourself, especially in these early days. Any new way of thinking or living takes some adjusting to, and you've got to give yourself time to hit your groove and get into the rhythm of it. Baby steps. How about you get rid of the scales? I didn't weigh for over 9 months, just went by the tape measure, and it meant I couldn't get disheartened by temporary blips. You'll still see and measure inches coming off, but you won't get too tied to those numbers on the scales.

    Shopping! How about you go out and reward your body by stocking up on some great, tasty foods, getting rid of any junk in the house, so you've always got good stuff there to munch on when the nibbles strike. Go raid the fruit and veggie department in Asda or Lidl! Get yourself plenty of Options/Highlights hot choc sachets - they're really soothing and satisfying when you're stressed, and a little pinch of cinnamon and cayenne in it really warms you through and cuts hunger pangs.

    Give yourself a treat to look forward to every week. Go out for a nice meal or get a takeaway - if you're finding it tough to keep to the regime you've mapped out now, then tweak it so that it's sustainable. One meal out a week can be such a nice thing to look forward to, and it doesn't have to throw you off course at all.

    Remember that you *will* get there. We all have rough days and weeks, but don't try to be perfect or expect too much of yourself! Just try to stay on course for the majority of the time, disregard the blips when they happen, and keep soldiering on - and you will achieve whatever you want to!!
     
  7. mealiepuddin'

    mealiepuddin' Full Member

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    Current Weight:
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    Goal Weight:
    11st0lb
    Lost(%):
    2st7lb(14.46%)
    Diet:
    Low Carb
    Yummy... definitely going to try this! ;)
     
  8. Iris

    Iris Full Member

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    Start Weight:
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    Current Weight:
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    Goal Weight:
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    Lost(%):
    7st11lb(47.39%)
    Diet:
    Calorie counting (also known as relentless self-denial)
    The cayenne and cinnamon are really nice in the hot choc - hope you enjoy them. I stick in a generous pinch of each, but I've occasionally overdone it and found myself feeling like a fire-breathing dragon with a sore throat! :p

    Really warms you up, though, and gives you an intriguing sweet-spicy sensation. I do add a few canderel sweeteners, though, my sweet tooth demands them!
     
  9. RainbowRose

    RainbowRose Gold Member

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    Thankyou mealiepuddin and Iris, lots of great tips and advice there!

    I'm going to try and sort out my mind this evening, I've gone into a rather bizarre confused state. Playing around with the gastric band idea, as its the only motivation I can think of that might actually work for me. Though it is a drastic plan by my standard! I have made an appointment to talk to my gp next tuesday, even if he doesn't agree with gastric bands, he might be able to help me shake of this awful giving up feeling, when deep down I want to lose weight more than anything else in the world right now.

    I believe I eat the wrong foods through boredom and comfort eating too. I had a major clear out, and stocked up on healthy foods, lots of fruit and veg, bottles of water etc. The motivation and determination was there 100%..then just dwindled until it completely left me..and no matter what i think, I can't get myself into the right frame of mind at all.

    Small goals is a great idea and a meal out once a week too. I want to feel comitted to doing it, but just really feel I need help this time.

    I've not got a sweet tooth, but anything savoury is like a drug to me!!!!

    I have got kids, 2 still at home. 24 years and 4 years!!!!! :):)

    Just so confused for some strange reason. Diets, healthy eating, exercise, commitment, being strong, being motivated, determined, gastric bands, own willpower, docs appointments :confused: :confused: :confused: :confused: LOL

    Going to have a nice bubble bath and a good long think and see if I can rustle up a firm decision and an oceanful of willpower and determination before I get out the bath LOL

    Thanks again ladies!
     
  10. mealiepuddin'

    mealiepuddin' Full Member

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    Start Weight:
    17st4lb
    Current Weight:
    14st11lb
    Goal Weight:
    11st0lb
    Lost(%):
    2st7lb(14.46%)
    Diet:
    Low Carb
    Savoury foods..... yum...... my fav!

    Have that well deserved bubble bath and dream of all those wonderfully GOOD savouries.......

    Lightly salted popcorn Flavoured Rice Cakes Raw Nuts & Seeds Veggie Soup Baked Spud with Veggie Chilli ............................

    Oh, feeling a bit peckish now.....!

    Hey, check out the recipe section.... some seriously scrumptious goodies there!

    xx
     
  11. mealiepuddin'

    mealiepuddin' Full Member

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    Start Weight:
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    Current Weight:
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    Goal Weight:
    11st0lb
    Lost(%):
    2st7lb(14.46%)
    Diet:
    Low Carb
    Oh and while you're in the bath.... pamper yourself. Give your skin a good brush with a scrunchy spongey thingy and pile on the lovely smelling body moisturisers. Your skin will love you for it and you will feel amazing too!

    Get into your pj's, make a cuppa and get into bed with a mag!
    ..... no hanky panky now!!!!:eek:

    xx
     
  12. tome

    tome Full Member

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    When I was at the start of my weight loss I found my weight could vary by as much as 5lbs in a day. Scales can do strange things to your mind. What I found was that it was the trend that matters. At first I gave up weighing myself, and just stuck to a plan of healthy eating, counting calories, and exercise regardless of weight or inches. What I wanted was to be healthy.

    After three months, I used a scale, and found I had lost a lot of weight.

    If the plan is good, sooner or later you will get to your target weight regardless of fluctuations.
     
    Last edited: 28 July 2009
  13. RainbowRose

    RainbowRose Gold Member

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    Thankyou Tome, that's interesting and good advice. Think I'll TRY to weigh myself less often and see the difference more positively.

    Well mealiepuddin, I took your advice, I had my lovely relaxing bath as planned, pampered myself, thought a lot of what I want and how I want to get there, got into my pj's, climbed into bed with a mag or two, (smelling lovely!)...and no hanky panky :D

    Feeling loads better today and getting into a more positive frame of mind...thankyou!
     
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