I gave in....

[mini mouse]

Hi all,

I feel so disappointed with myself :cry:. I can't believe I gave in so easily!! I am on week 9 and today, unexpectedly I gave in and ate food...at work! I mean it wasn't even some special meal or event !

Some teachers had brought in a range of European food for the students...there was all sorts there. I saw it at 8.30 this morning when I arrived at my meeting, all open and smelling wonderful . At break I returned to find much of it still there, and had a small nibble. I returned at lunch time and had what can only be described as an extended nibble !

The food was very nice, but when I look back at what I ate I can't imagine how many calories/carbs/fat I've eaten! I am sure I will have knocked myself out of ketosis. I get weighed on Thursday evening. Will I be back in ketosis by then?

I was trying to put what I've learned so far into practice but somehow crooked thinking got the better of me. This just makes me all the more worried about what will happen when I reach goal... will I just pile all the weight back on again?

On a more positive note, tonight I needed to go to the supermarket to get a few essentials such as nappies. Crooked thinking tried to get me, I walked down all of the wrong aisles trying to convince myself that it would be OK to have a bit of this or that. I hovered for some time at the chocolate, then I remembered about the adult/child states of mind. As hard as it was, I forced my adult to take over and I left without any forbidden items! Thank God I stopped the rot then, or else I may have spiralled out of control.

Anyone else go through something similar? Did it affect your weight loss? Did you go out of ketosis? Did you tell your councillor?

Also i had wanted to drop to 3 packs today after having so many illicit calories, but couldn't bring myself to do it because all i9 wanted to do was eat more real food, so eating the pack stopped me going any further. Was this the right thing to do?

Thanks
Mini mouse

 

[Helen]

You probably have knocked yourself out of ketosis, its impossible to know whether you will still be out by Thursday - it depends on your body and what you have eaten. Yes, do tell the counsellor. firstly because thats why she is there and can help you deal with it and you may show a gain on the scales due to your glycogen stores starting to fill up again.

dont worry about what happens when you reach goal. You are only on week 9 and its early days. However it sounds like you have learnt plenty already! Well done for stopping and not letting the eating continue for the rest of the day.

Just try and make sure you don't do it again. I am speaking from bitter experience here that it will quickly become a habit again if you let it!

I think eating the last pack was the right thing to do. It is what we are advised to do anyway but if it has stopped you eating something else then it has definately been a good thing.

Tomorrow maybe a bit tough - you will probably feel hungry. You will probably want to eat. I have felt like this all day today after eating yesterday. Try and ignore it. Split your packs if you can. Drink water. You know what to do! Hopefully you will be in ketosis again by Thursday if not earlier and after a couple more days your urge to eat should start to subside.

Sorry its quick but thought I'd reply as you are still on line.

Good luck

 

[mini mouse]

Thanks for your quick reply Helen.

I'm so cross with myself for giving in on such a silly thing. It was simply old habits kicking in.

I have a feeling that I may have slipped this time as opposed to other times when temptation was in my way because I had not expected or planned to face the challenge. I have always managed to keep myself going when I knew in advance about the temptation being there, such as holidays, weddings (I've been to 3 this summer and not eaten at any of them), or social occasions with friends and family. I was not expecting to be faced with such an array of deliciousness this morning, and that totally threw me!

I need to be at point where my resolve is strong even when the unexpected happens! Will I ever get there I wonder?

It worries me that you say I may have a gain on the scales on Thursday! I know this would be a big emotional set back for me. Also it makes me angry with myself because I know I was on my way to a good weight loss this week, before this happened, and now it looks like I've blown that!

You say tell my LLC, but I really don't want to!!! I know this makes me sound like a spoilt child, and the adult thing to do would be to be honest. What benefits will it bring me by telling her, especially if I get back into ketosis by then?

Thanks again

Mini mouse

 

[Helen]

Well I don't know what you ate so if most of it was not carbs then you will probably be ok - you won't have eaten enough in calories to gain - its just if you have taken in carbs. I ate a lot on monday and showed a 2lb gain on tuesday morning but it has gone again today so you will hopefully be ok. If you mostly ate veg and protein you may not have any gain at all.

Not being prepared can make a big difference in my experience if faced with food unexpectedly. Old habits do die hard and it takes more than a few months to get rid of years of bad eating habits. Stopping yourself from letting it continue is a big step on the road to dealing with this. I think its the most important thing I have learnt. Oh and not beating yourself up about it. I am not saying its OK to eat but there is no benefit from feeling guilty or hating yourself. If I can avoid this then its much easier for me to get back on track after a slip-up!

Its entirely up to you if you tell your llc or not. If you are back in ketosis and not showing a gain then she is unlikely to suspect anything. In my case though if I dont tell her I feel like I am eating secretly which is something I am trying to get away from. It depends mostly on whether you can think you need any help or support from her.

My intention wasn't to worry you!

 

[janetljones]

Hi Mini

I had a similar lapse last week and it did knock me out of ketosis and cause a gain - however I expected it and got straight back on track.

I did tell my LLC and in fact my group, partly because the point of this is dealing with the truth about what we do and discovering why and also because it meant that I got extra support. LLC suggested some coping mechanisms when confronted with food and being honest supplied an unexpected support network of people saying phone me.

I now carry a copy of my letter to myself with me at all times, if tempted I will read that. If that isn't enough I can come on here or phone my support people.

Try not to feel guilty about it, it isn't the end of the world, if you do sts or gain it will be temporary and you may be lucky and still lose.

Good luck with whatever you decide to do, you are doing brilliantly.

 

[Peridot]

I can absolutely understand why you're cross and upset with yourself - but remember, this is a learning experience and sometimes mistakes help us to learn. Really think about what was going through your mind and do a thought record and you'll find that you can perhaps take a valuable experience away from the whole thing. And that would be a really useful thing to take with you when you finally enter the 'world of food'.

PS There's a great thread on thought records on here by the wonderful Mrs L - or look on her blog the Lard Arms where there's a menu and you'll find it.

 

[pticouk]

If you look back through a lot posts on here you'll see that alot of people seem to struggle round weeks 8 and 9 and alot of it is totally unexplainable by them.

Don't drop miss out on packs either, it doesn't matter how many calories you had, but the packs contaic all the nutrition you need so you need to keep up with them

Don't dwell on it otherwise you'll blow it out of proportion and fall into the lapse-relapse-total collapse trap, it happened move on.

I may sound slightly harsh, but I'm speaking from experience. I missed packs and ate and then got into thinking it was ok, and after a few days felt really drained and lethargic again.

Helen