I have a confession to make - please help me?

Discussion in 'Slimming World' started by JestersTear, 1 March 2010 Social URL.

  1. JestersTear

    JestersTear Cute, but psycho!

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    Well, I have a confession to make.

    because of various reasons, I have been messing about with my diet and now I haven't lost 4 stones I have lost more like 3. I haven't taken the signature off as I *had* lost 4 stones and hopefully will do again - but I feel like I've lost my way.
    I'm paying the diet lip service. This last week, due mostly to being ill, we've had loads of takeaways and fizzy drinks.
    I was speaking with my C today for over an hour about one thing and another but also my relationship with food. I have no will power when it comes to food.
    I know that people will say I can do it as I've lost the weight I have, and that I can do it again...but I don;t *feel* like that at all. I feel like a fraud. I feel useless, pathetic and as though I'm always going to be fat. I was looking at my SW book last week, I weigh the same now as I did in Oct 09, and, even worse, I weigh the same as I did March 09! So that means that, in a year, I've lost and gained the same amount of weight. How depressing.
     
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  3. JulesyR

    JulesyR Full Member

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    oh hon, you sound really down. I hate to say it (because you knew we would) but you have done it before and you can do again.

    You have lost a massive amount, and yes you've slipped a bit - but no the whole 4 stone and you have the opportunity (and obviously the awareness) to catch yourself before you slip any further!

    Keep chatting to your consultant, and to us and you will get yourself back in the right frame of mind and achieve the same success you have recently done!:)
     
  4. JestersTear

    JestersTear Cute, but psycho!

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    I just feel so out of control at the moment...not sure how to get back on track really.
     
  5. eternity

    eternity Gold Member

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    I hope that you know that you aren't the only one who slips up. You are really brave for telling everyone because you could have still been denying it to yourself.

    It took me a long time to lose my weight and there were many ups and downs, the main thing is to keep trying, sometimes you'll win and sometimes you'll lose, but it's better than not trying at all.

    At one time I felt out of control after I'd lost some weight and then gained a bit back, I concentrated on getting control of my binging and overeating, not on losing weight, maybe you could just try to get back control too before putting lots of pressure on yourself to lose more weight.
    Good luck.
     
  6. Beckyftwx

    Beckyftwx Silver Member

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    Even though you've put the stone back on, a 3 stone stone itself is absolutely amazing!! I bet you look a load slimmer and we all have breaks, dont beat yourself up about it just get back on track when you feel ready.
     
  7. janegreen

    janegreen Full Member

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    Dont be so hard on yourself, I lost 6st on Lighterlife but have since put 6.5st back on, a friend asked me the other day if I regretted spending over £1600 on the diet. I said not because there was no point in looking back and at least I knew how it felt to be 6 stones lighter and all those lovely clothes I could wear. So now I've joined SW and having lost 17.5lbs my aching knees are better already. So come on be positive, you are still 3 st lighter!!!
     
  8. Brightonrosie

    Brightonrosie I want to be fitter again

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    That must be so difficult for you but how brave of you to admit to it. I wonder perhaps if you need to set yourself really tiny goals which are acheivable to start with to make you feel better. Some could be food related and others "me time" related. Some of your food goals may be really tiny eg for the first 3 days you will follow slimming world diet until lunchtime, then the next three days you follow it until your evening meal. Once you get there stay in that mode for another week. Then do slimming world until after your evening meal for another 3 days and finally for the whole day. This may work better for you than cold turkey. Yes you won't lose much weight during this time and you may even gain a little but it is about you realising you can be in control again. These are just thoughts but I know that life is difficult when you are feeling so down on yourself. Good luck and come and chat whenever you feel the need xx
     
  9. biggysmalls

    biggysmalls Too big to fail

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    confused! Ex SW, ex CC, now on FAST 5:2
    maybe you're getting back in the zone - talking to consultant about the bigger issues, fessing up on here.........you've had a blip, but you could be in the process of getting back on top of things now I think.
    It's disheartening when you weigh the same as you did a while back. Creative thinking might help you see that actually, you're still at a weight that, this time last year, made you so proud and happy and hopeful! Well done for that, well done for posting and do let us know how you go xx
     
  10. jess_schun

    jess_schun Full Member

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    Hey JestersTear, i know exactly how you feel because i have done the exact same thing. I lost most of my weight then gained a stone and felt utterly awful and a complete failure the difference is i didn't stop there and ended up putting all my weight back on and now i really know what failure feels like. 3 stone is an amazing achievement and worth keeping off because i would never want anyone to feel how i did when i realised i was back at square one. You gotta have a good talking to yourself and tell you what you want.... if that makes sense.
    Hope this helps.
     
  11. petunia348

    petunia348 Member

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    How brave are you! Think baby steps like Brightonrosie said. And remember we all need extra support from time to time. Continue to tap into your consultant's listening ear and chat to us here. Do you feel like a short walk at some stage during the day. good luck - we are all routing for you.
     
  12. JestersTear

    JestersTear Cute, but psycho!

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    Thanks everyone for being so lovely.
    I was dead nervous about posting about it, so thanks for being so understanding.
    What I'm going to try to do, as had been suggested above, is do a meal at a time for the next couple of days (weigh in is on Wed) so try and have a SW on plan meal every meal time and try not worry too much. I'll have to take my lumps on Wednesday, but as my C said, I could have walked away and not rung her up, but I didn't, i rang her and we chatted and i was talking about going to class, so she sees this as a positive step.
     
  13. Brightonrosie

    Brightonrosie I want to be fitter again

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    The fact you are on here makes it very positive. we are all routing for you xxx
     
  14. Meli

    Meli Gold Member

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    It definately is a positive step in the right direction! Now it's just trying to follow through and you've done it before and you can do it again. You can still enjoy your food and try making some new recipes that can get you feeling better about eating the SW way. If you like pizza, try a pita bread pizza. Have the fizzy drinks with it, but just have the Diet Coke instead. You know what changes you need to make and it's just a matter of time before you are back on track.
     
  15. tinkerbellsmum

    tinkerbellsmum Gold Member

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    hi hun hun wd for coming on here and telling us.
    i have been in your postion a 4 times hun 4 times i have lost 2 stone (not same weight i know) and everytime i get to 2 stone i start to struggle i start to let myself slip and then i give up and 6 months down the line i join sw again 2 stone plus heavier and i have to lose that 2 stone all over again and that is a horriable feeling hun and i wouldn't like that to be u.
    u need to remember how u felt before you started sw and why u wanted to do it cause i know its not nice and i know its scarey but sometimes we need to hear it. how quick did u put a stone on times that by 3 and thats how quick u could be back to where u started.
    concentrate on getting your head back into it hun and making it your weigh of life and when u feel ready then set your self small weekly not unrealistic goals and maybe some goals on how u r gonna achieve your weekly goals like going for walks etc.
    u also need to find your love for sw again hun hunt the recipe board for new exciting recipe and make a meal plan for next week adding in some old faves and a home made t/a nite
    good luck hun i know u can do it
     
  16. Roz V

    Roz V Full Member

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    Hi JestersTear,

    So sorry you're feeling so down, but you've been through a difficult few weeks, and with illness on top, no wonder you've lost your way a bit.

    But you are still 3 stone lighter than you were, which, in itself is a great achievement. You've already taken the positive steps of talking to your Consultant and (bravely) posting on here.

    I've also lost my way recently, and now I'm just concentrating on one meal at a time - from your most recent post, I think that is what you're intending to try. If you get through just ONE meal totally on plan, I find that it gives you a real boost to try to do it again - just one more time. And it helps with the 'in between' bits too, I feel that I cannot spoil what I've already achieved by snacking on something unsuitable - as someone wisely posted "if you don't fancy free food, you're not hungry".

    Of course, it doesn't always work, but don't beat yourself up about it, just concentrate on the NEXT meal. It's certainly helping me - I kept thinking I'll start again properly tomorrow, which, of course, didn't happen, and suddenly it was weigh-day again...

    Everyone on here believes that you CAN do this, you've made a positive start, now just concentrate on your NEXT meal. This wasn't my idea by the way, it's just one of the many tips and suggestions I've got from MiniMins, so grateful thanks to whoever originally posted, it's certainly helping me.

    It's also helping me that the weather is at last improving - the snowdrops and crocus are out in the garden, and there are big fat buds on the daffodils! All the little birds are in their brightest plumage, and singing away, so do try to get out for a walk in the park to help lift your spirits!

    Best of luck Jess. Do keep posting and letting us know how you're feeling and how you're getting on. You can see that you have loads of support on here - we all believe in you, you really CAN do this!
     
  17. cocktailprincess

    cocktailprincess Still rockin' it

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    Hey doll

    I completely echo all the excellent advice above- you are very brave and honest.

    In addition to advice already given, I think it's really important that you reset your tickers and signature NOW. To keep them there is just to re-inforce this feeling of failure that you have at the moment. Keep your 3 stone sticker and move from there as that way you will feel less like you are moving over old ground and more like your next target is something to aim for in the future.

    You have admitted a problem SO much sooner than most would and you now have a choice of which of 2 roads you want to walk down- don't look back, mate- look forward with your head right up and your fists ready for a fight

    And finally, here is a massive hug for your bravery *****massive hug***** (feel the love)

    xxxxx
     
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  19. frugal fifer

    frugal fifer Silver Member

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    I feel the same way at the moment, I have really struggled to get back into things properly for a while. I can't make it to class anymore and have been lurking here for ages and not posting like I used to. I had lost over 5 stones, but not even wanting to look and see how much I have put back on.
    I would love to loose 2 by June 12th which should be managable if I can get my head in gear.
     
  20. Scanbran

    Scanbran Stupid Member

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    The massive plus in your situation is that you have caught yourself while no serious damage has been done. You can put it right in a matter of weeks.

    When I first started SW 15 years ago, I was 17st 10lbs and lost 5st in less than 6 months. I felt great, changed my job, met my wife and got married.

    I don't know exactly how it all happened, but I stopped going to SW classes, stopped using the plan and within a couple of years I was way back up in weight, at one point reaching over 21st.

    I've restarted SW classes countless times since then, spending a fortune on re-joining fees over the years, but this time I wanted it to be different.

    To do that, I changed my routine. I bought a countdown right away, commiting myself to 3 months prepaid attendance.
    I bought a cheap exercise bike, to avoid excuses about not going to the gym etc.
    I always force myself to stay to class, even when I don't get a loss.

    Maybe if you can change some things about how you do the SW thing, it might make it fresher and easier to go along with.

    Whatever, well done for recognising what was happening and doing something about it - wish I had years ago!!
     
  21. coley144

    coley144 Creating my life

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    Sometimes you just have to be stubborn. Are you going to let this beat you? You can get through this and move in the direction you want to go...but beating yourself up will push you in the wrong direction.

    Every single time I overate part of it was punishment for myself...born out of that negative spiral of self abuse. Eat less and eat better as a way of loving yourself. It's not just your body that benefits. x
     
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  22. JestersTear

    JestersTear Cute, but psycho!

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    Thanks everyone xxx

    I am just coming to the end of a 3 month count down, and even though we really can't afford, my OH has said that he'd be happy for me to get another, as it shows commitment.
    I have a bike in the shed, and a Wii Fit, but lack the motivation to use them (and atm, cos of chest infection, I also lack the stamina, breath wise)...but they're there...I just need to push myself to use them.
    I do feel like I'm gearing back up again, although today hasn't been as good as it should have been, but it wasn't *bad* which I feel is important.
    Tomorrow (Wed) is weigh in day at 5:30pm. I shall post on here what my weight gain actually is *scared* and with your support I shall move on from there - don't leave me!!!

    I'm also a bit down about the fact that I have swollen feet - I'd thought those days were behind me :-(
     
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