I need to be curvy and sexy, not fat and frumpy!

[Rita von Ruben]

Umm, hello

I'm not really sure where to start. I've been overweight all my life, ever since I was a very young child. I've tried various diets ever since I was young, including Weight Watchers, Slimming World, Lighter Life/Cambridge Diet, Xenical and more. I'm now coming up to 25 years old and haven't been on a diet since I was around 14-15. After a childhood of diets, dieticians and food diaries, I can honestly say I gave up and thought I'd always be fat. I think part of me thinks I still will be, but I am trying my best to start officially dieting again, for the first time in around a decade.

I've had various health problems since I was a child which have made the weight difficult to shift (such as asthma as well as emotional/mental health problems, PCOS, depression and anxiety). At the moment I'm in a difficult place in terms of my mental health, so getting out and about is not an easy task, or something that happens on a regular basis at all. Even though I've always been very overweight, at least when my mental health was better and I was studying full time I was out and about walking around for hours a day. Unfortunately for the past few years I have been very much a hermit and my fitness levels have dwindled to nothing.

Basically, I want to lose weight to be able to live life. I want to be able to go on holiday with my partner. I want to get on a plane without worrying that I won't fit in the seat. I want to buy clothes that fit me and look good. Most of all I want to be healthy enough to walk and run around for hours to go exploring and adventuring and do all sorts of exciting things. I want a life, not an existence.

I guess that's all I can really say for now. I'm not sure what joining this forum will accomplish for me, but I'm hoping I may find some support and inspiration here for the times I feel low and feel like giving up.

Diets have never worked for me in the past. I want this time to be different.

I've signed up to Slimming World online and am planning to start dieting 'officially' on Tuesday or Wednesday (depending on when I can get a grocery shop delivered!).

So I guess, here goes nothing...

~RvR

 

[IreneH]

Good luck with SW online. You could start a diary thread and/or a food diary thread in the SW section for support.

Irene xx

 

[Donakebab]

I am trying hard to lose weight. I also feel that I've been over weight all my life. I have only ever once got to under 10 stone and that was with WW but to maintain it I hardly ate. I am now with SW too and know that if you're in the right frame of mind this is a great way of life!

I wish you lots of luck, losing weight will help you feel better about yourself ! Hope it goes well x

 

[MsJean]

Welcome, facing up to your difficulties is always a hard think to do, but you have and now you can move forward, set yourself mini goals and if your having problems just ask for help, there are so many people here doing sw online I'm sure someone can help, remember your not alone. Good luck.
Jean

 

[Rita von Ruben]

Thank you for the words of encouragement, ladies.

The grocery delivery is arriving late this evening, so as of tomorrow I am officially starting the SW plan.

I usually do a lot of batch cooking and freeze portions of things like bolognese, casseroles and soups, lots of healthy meals with loads of veggies packed in them (because I hate the taste of most veggies, so if I can hide them in soups and casseroles, I will!). I've currently got a freezer full of healthy soups and casseroles and such, but as they were cooked without measuring ingredients (and some contain olive oil/honey/etc) I thought it would be best just to feed them to my partner whilst I make myself some more from scratch with fry light and (if necessary) measuring extra ingredients for syns. That way they won't go to waste and I'm ensuring I stick to the plan 100% - I don't want any of those little slip-ups that lead to bigger ones, if I can avoid them

I'm also getting a delivery from Joes Sausages tomorrow to try them for the first time, so I'm hoping there will be some yummy syn-free meat products I can treat myself with from them

I have to admit, I've just closed the curtains in the living room and tried to Zumba for the first time. I don't think I've ever felt so ridiculous and uncoordinated in my entire life. My spaghetti limbs were anywhere they weren't supposed to be and nowhere near in time with anything! If I can motivate myself and get over the humiliation I'm going to try stick with it for a little while, perhaps

 

[Shivy84]

I've also been over weight my whole life. But after turning 27 and having back and joint pains all the time I've finally set my mind to losing some weight! As someone else has said, setting small goals makes it so much easier. I aim to lose 1 lbs a week, then anything over that is a total bonus! Slow and steady wins the race.
I also do zumba at home, and I'll bet I'm less co ordinated than most! But the way I look at it, I may not be doing it right, but its still a lot more exercise I would normally be doing!!!

Best of luck with it all!

 

[Rita von Ruben]

I've also been over weight my whole life. But after turning 27 and having back and joint pains all the time I've finally set my mind to losing some weight! As someone else has said, setting small goals makes it so much easier. I aim to lose 1 lbs a week, then anything over that is a total bonus! Slow and steady wins the race.
I also do zumba at home, and I'll bet I'm less co ordinated than most! But the way I look at it, I may not be doing it right, but its still a lot more exercise I would normally be doing!!!

Best of luck with it all!

Thank you

I know what you mean about the back and joint pains, it's so embarrassing. I actually got back ache just from hanging some laundry up on the airer a couple of days ago!

If I lose 1lb a week I'll be happy, but obviously the more I lose the happier I'll be

I really need to give the zumba a try again, I just can't believe how humiliating and degrading it felt to be waving and wobbling and jiggling everywhere and knowing that whilst I'm in time in my head my body just isn't following!

Wishing you lots of luck!

 

[PurpleRoses]

Welcome to the boards. I could have written a lot of what you said myself

You've come to the right place for support and motivation. Definately start a diary, it really helps to write down what you're going through and you'll have lots of lovely people popping in to support you all the way to goal.

Good luck with your first week xx

 

[Rita von Ruben]

Welcome to the boards. I could have written a lot of what you said myself

You've come to the right place for support and motivation. Definately start a diary, it really helps to write down what you're going through and you'll have lots of lovely people popping in to support you all the way to goal.

Good luck with your first week xx

Thanks PurpleRoses

I've started a diary, though it's mostly just me kind of rambling and whinging a bit at the moment! I've added a diary link to my signature It feels a bit therapeutic to write down all those little thoughts, and the support is great

 

[t11cky]

Go for it girl, Good Luck all the way!!!

 

[donnzstar]

Good luck with Slimming World, I have been loving it so far (although dread weigh in day!). This time I have realised that its a change for life not just a quick fix.

Look forward to hearing how you get on xx

 

[Shivy84]

The only thing I can say about doing zumba at home is that u have no need to feel embarrassed, I know lots of very slim people who can't do it either. There is no way I would have the confidence to go to a class. but hopefully, by losing weight and doing it regularly, by the time I have the confidence to go to a class I'll be able to keep up!
Good luck with everything, I'm sure that now you've set you're mind to it, you'll have lots of success!

 

[Rita von Ruben]

Good luck with Slimming World, I have been loving it so far (although dread weigh in day!). This time I have realised that its a change for life not just a quick fix.

Look forward to hearing how you get on xx

Thank you I'm finding some of the recipes are trial and error, but adapting my normal recipes works very well I tried to make the lean pasta sauce recipe from the website yesterday, it was a big bitter tomatoey mess :yuk: Looking forward to trying some of the user submitted recipes here though!

The only thing I can say about doing zumba at home is that u have no need to feel embarrassed, I know lots of very slim people who can't do it either. There is no way I would have the confidence to go to a class. but hopefully, by losing weight and doing it regularly, by the time I have the confidence to go to a class I'll be able to keep up!
Good luck with everything, I'm sure that now you've set you're mind to it, you'll have lots of success!

Thanks Shivy. I think a lot of the embarassment isn't along the lines of "oh god, what do I look like trying to do this" but more like "oh god, I'm not doing this right and I can't follow what they're doing, this is so pathetic!" It honestly makes me feel twice as fat and twice my age

I will be giving it another shot, though!

 

[RosaxEx]

Good luck with SW Rita, I find it really easy and I'm not much of a cook! I seem to put garlic into most things though and they turn out ok haha zumba though, I feel the same, I try and do it at home and I am so rubbish, I know you're not supposed to feel embarrased but my baby sits there laughing at me so I can't help it! Once you get into it though it is really good, and at least you're at home doing it and not doing nothing! I have had bad weeks but all I keep thinking is, at least I'm taking the steps to at least try rather than letting myself get bigger! I have been good every week and some weeks put say half pound on rather than losing but I know I have been good and I'm trying so have stuck with it! You will get the hang of it soon enough!

 

[Rita von Ruben]

Good luck with SW Rita, I find it really easy and I'm not much of a cook! I seem to put garlic into most things though and they turn out ok haha zumba though, I feel the same, I try and do it at home and I am so rubbish, I know you're not supposed to feel embarrased but my baby sits there laughing at me so I can't help it! Once you get into it though it is really good, and at least you're at home doing it and not doing nothing! I have had bad weeks but all I keep thinking is, at least I'm taking the steps to at least try rather than letting myself get bigger! I have been good every week and some weeks put say half pound on rather than losing but I know I have been good and I'm trying so have stuck with it! You will get the hang of it soon enough!

Lol I feel the same way about my kittens, I'm sure they are laughing at me!

Haven't plucked up the courage to have another go yet, but I'm hoping to soon getting on okay with the diet too!

 

[RosaxEx]

good glad to hear it! to be honest, with me, I just dont find the time to go on zumba or anything with having a 5 month old, she is as much of a handful as I can handle at the minute!

 

[ellen83]

Hey chick, I have also been big all my life and was put off dieting due to childhood related issues but won't go into it as I'd rather focus on the positives. I'm also doing Slimming world and am really enjoying it, have lost nearly 2 stone so far and am aiming for another 7 or so (will see how I feel as my weight goes down, as never been slim before) which I'm looking to get to before my wedding July 2013...I do not want to be a fat bride! As long as you stick to plan the weight will come off and you seem to have the right attitude. I look forward to seeing how you do. Good luck and hope to see you around the boards!

 

[no1mom23]

Good luck with sw and keep up the zumba its a great fun way to exercise and you can do it in the privacy of your own home

 

[donnzstar]

Hows the cooking coming on - I made diet coke chicken for tea and I was very surprised how nice it was and simple!

What day are you weighing in on? xx

 

[Rita von Ruben]

Hey chick, I have also been big all my life and was put off dieting due to childhood related issues but won't go into it as I'd rather focus on the positives. I'm also doing Slimming world and am really enjoying it, have lost nearly 2 stone so far and am aiming for another 7 or so (will see how I feel as my weight goes down, as never been slim before) which I'm looking to get to before my wedding July 2013...I do not want to be a fat bride! As long as you stick to plan the weight will come off and you seem to have the right attitude. I look forward to seeing how you do. Good luck and hope to see you around the boards!

Hey,

Thank you for your response, ellen.

I've had emotional/psychological issues since childhood - I think a lot of it is down to bullying. I was bullied every year of my school life from the age of 4. Comfort eating became a vicious cycle.

Congratulations on your weight loss, 2 stone is an amazing achievement I've never been slim before either - because of that, I don't know how slim I can possibly be! I'll be ecstatic if I can be a size 14-16. I know that's a bit bigger than most people aim for on this board but I would be over the moon with that.

And congratulations on your wedding too! You're on the right track, I'm sure you'll be a beautiful bride FWIW, I can empathise with not wanting to be a fat bride - I'm in a long term relationship and the way I feel at the moment, even if my partner did propose, I don't know if I could say yes because my immediate reaction would be "Oh god, I can't have a wedding, not like this, not with all eyes on me, not when I'm this huge!". Sometimes it's just such all-consuming thoughts.

Thanks again for your reply