cheekychinchilla
Gold Member
Lovely post Cupcake :happy096:
ignorance
- Thread starter Cleashy
- Start date
IanH
Silver Member
Unfortunately - there are a lot of people out there who think calling people who are bigger then average names is funny and a cheap laugh. there are those who simply also don't think before they open their mouths.
i've been subject to abuse in the street for many years because of my size - it'd anger me that they were making judgements by the "cover" and not by the "contents" (in as much of the saying "judging a book by its cover" goes). and would then brush it off as being their fault - which it is at the end of the day - their lifes are empty enough that they have to make judgements about other people they do not know based on looks/clothes/size/whatever.
that said - it's not worth letting them know they got to you - one wrong word from you and goodness knows where it'll end in this day and age.
The key thing now - is that you by undertaking this journey for YOU, that you are also removing that target from your back (as far as random comments in the street go). As far as the kids on the bus - they'll grow up one day and realise that thinking something and saying it are two different things.
With regards to the random comments from strangers in the street - i'm going to repeat something i posted on the "non-scales victorys" thread...
Earlier this year, whilst I was walking to town, some kid came up close and waved his fist in my face and called me a “****er”. I side-stepped him and carried on my way but something felt wrong. Then I stopped dead in my tracks, and laughed loudly and smiled for the rest of the day. It wasn’t “fat ****er” anymore. I’d finally made it – people didn’t consider me “fat” anymore.
(i didn't put the **** in... but it rhymes with banker).
.
i've been subject to abuse in the street for many years because of my size - it'd anger me that they were making judgements by the "cover" and not by the "contents" (in as much of the saying "judging a book by its cover" goes). and would then brush it off as being their fault - which it is at the end of the day - their lifes are empty enough that they have to make judgements about other people they do not know based on looks/clothes/size/whatever.
that said - it's not worth letting them know they got to you - one wrong word from you and goodness knows where it'll end in this day and age.
The key thing now - is that you by undertaking this journey for YOU, that you are also removing that target from your back (as far as random comments in the street go). As far as the kids on the bus - they'll grow up one day and realise that thinking something and saying it are two different things.
With regards to the random comments from strangers in the street - i'm going to repeat something i posted on the "non-scales victorys" thread...
Earlier this year, whilst I was walking to town, some kid came up close and waved his fist in my face and called me a “****er”. I side-stepped him and carried on my way but something felt wrong. Then I stopped dead in my tracks, and laughed loudly and smiled for the rest of the day. It wasn’t “fat ****er” anymore. I’d finally made it – people didn’t consider me “fat” anymore.
(i didn't put the **** in... but it rhymes with banker).
.
MargyParker
My belly this will be!
I really admire folk that manage to make a riposte that is eloquent and not aggressive. A bit off topic but I was in the street years ago with a neighbour and a mother walked by with a severely disabled child in a wheelchair. I was talking away to this lady and she was suddenly transfixed by the child. As the lady walked by my neighbour still staring said loudly, "They shouldn't be allowed out in the street, should they?"
I was absoluteley stunned and outraged that she had even thought such a thing never mind said it out loud. My immediate reaction was to want to run after the lady and say that I didn't think the same way. I didn't tho I just looked at the neighbour in total amazement and disgust.
So, so unfortunate that some folk just think it is ok to air their views without considering the effect of those views on others. Or even worse to aim to intentionally hurt. Happy folk wouldn't do this. :sigh:
I was absoluteley stunned and outraged that she had even thought such a thing never mind said it out loud. My immediate reaction was to want to run after the lady and say that I didn't think the same way. I didn't tho I just looked at the neighbour in total amazement and disgust.
So, so unfortunate that some folk just think it is ok to air their views without considering the effect of those views on others. Or even worse to aim to intentionally hurt. Happy folk wouldn't do this. :sigh:
tinkerbellsmum
Gold Member
hun i know what they said is nasty hun but they are only judging you by there own life experience and seen as they have none and are kids so lucky they can eat anything and not gain a pound. they have no way of knowing how easy it is to gain weight and how hard it is to slim.
also this means there opion doesn't count.
you have done amazing but they don't know this. sometimes i wish we could wear a badge with our weightloss on cause its something i feel we should tell the world cause its amazing.
just imagine when you get on the bus in the future and you are a gorgues what ever size u want to be and they are overweight you can look at your cat and feel smudge.
also this means there opion doesn't count.
you have done amazing but they don't know this. sometimes i wish we could wear a badge with our weightloss on cause its something i feel we should tell the world cause its amazing.
just imagine when you get on the bus in the future and you are a gorgues what ever size u want to be and they are overweight you can look at your cat and feel smudge.
blubex
Gold Member
I'm not excusing the behaviour of people in any way shape or form but I think (or at least hope) that it's fair to say that age and experience will change everyone's perspective on things as they grow up.... as a teenager I had very narrow minded views on things that I am embarrassed to even think of nowadays. No doubt 20 years from now I will look back on how I am now and be shocked at the way I felt about things.
I don't say or do anything with the intention to cause offence but sometimes peoples thoughts and, in turn, mouths can run away from them before they even open their eyes to the people around them and the feelings these people may have.
As for comments about size...I am a size 18 yet I couldn't honestly tell you what a size 18 looks like. People get an idea in their head as to what something looks like without any real grounding or understanding. I wouldn't be surprised if the people making the comments have loved ones the same size as all of us whether that be a size 16, 22 or 222. If they thought of those people when making their tunnel visioned comments it would probably (hopefully)shut them straight up.
The best we can do is hope that one day these people understand how hurtful such comments can be...I hope for their sake that it is not when they are on the recieveing end.
I don't say or do anything with the intention to cause offence but sometimes peoples thoughts and, in turn, mouths can run away from them before they even open their eyes to the people around them and the feelings these people may have.
As for comments about size...I am a size 18 yet I couldn't honestly tell you what a size 18 looks like. People get an idea in their head as to what something looks like without any real grounding or understanding. I wouldn't be surprised if the people making the comments have loved ones the same size as all of us whether that be a size 16, 22 or 222. If they thought of those people when making their tunnel visioned comments it would probably (hopefully)shut them straight up.
The best we can do is hope that one day these people understand how hurtful such comments can be...I hope for their sake that it is not when they are on the recieveing end.
[FONT="]Hmm on my bus ride home today - admittedly i was very soggy from the rain and so a bit grumpy well a lot grumpy but anyhoo - two girls that were abut 18 were sat right behind me looking at a clothes catalogue they were generally grating on a grumpy soggy me with there squeaky voices to start with but THEN one of them started taling about some underwear and how it came in a size 22 and how she though it was disgusting to imagine someone at a size 22 wearing it.[/FONT]
[FONT="]This wound me up no end ![/FONT]
[FONT="]What is wrong with people, i learnt that if i didn’t have anything nice to say to keep my god damn mouth shut![/FONT]
[FONT="]Rant over![/FONT]
As someone has added a new comment on this thread I had a look again from the beginning.
To be fair, although the comments were insensitive, they weren't actually made at you, were they? You said that the girls were looking at a catalogue and so they probably hadn't even seen you, and didn't know you were listening in to their conversation.
So there was nothing really for you to take offence at.
Alia
Silver Member
I resorted to violence many moons ago - was walking through a supermarket carpark with my very thin husband and a group of teenage lads walking behind us started making comments - I turned so fast and whacked them all with my handbag - dont know why, I just snapped, never did it before that or have since but the look on their faces was priceless
MargyParker
My belly this will be!
silence or violence? - know which one I'd choose - silence is golden - even if it does make you mad in the short term - it is ultimately empowering - whereas violence never leaves you proud.
MargyParker
My belly this will be!
maybe handbags
meadowbankles
Silver Member
Hmmm. I was about 7 stone wet through when was 18. What goes around comes around, maybe one day they'll be wearing size 22 knicks and somebody will make a spiteful comment about them.
