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I'm back


I will succeed!!!
Hello to all my old friends & those who I've not 'met' yet :)

Well, I'm back! I have not been on here for probably a year now but sadly, not for the right reasons.

I was due to get married in May this year, but things started to fall apart last summer and in January this year I called the wedding off. Though I initiated the split, we both agreed it was for the best and to be honest, it's been the most amicable break-up ever (something I am very thankful for!!!).

We were together for 4.5 years and I loved (and still do) him very much - he's one of my best friends and we have a lot of respect for one another. But for me, it was not the right type of love anymore. An affair early on dented us and though we had a great relationship and we moved on, for me it was never the same (he had the affair). If I am honest, in my head I started the separation last summer, but with a wedding date set and plans made I felt like I had responsibility to stick it out, telling myself that despite the hiccup early on, I had a great guy who loved me and a nice way of life. However, I realised that I would be marrying him to keep everyone else happy at the expense of mine and I loved him and cared for him enough to not make vows I meant, but did not feel (I hope that makes sense).

It's been a rough year and though some amazing things have happened, it's taken it's toll. My weight plummeted after the split and I was at my target (by default of not actually being able to eat - NT advisable) and now, sadly, it's swung the other way and I am back to my heaviest weight of 12st2lbs (as of the scales in Boots today).

I've been at SW and going to group the whole time, my weight yo-yoing and slowly creeping up higher with each 'up'. The thing is, my C has not exactly been supportive (she's not at the best of times to be honest).

So today I made a decision - I CAN DO THIS ON MY OWN, with help from the Boots scales each Monday and you. You see, I think not using this was a big part of why I lost my way.

It's going to be hard - my weight gain before was medical related and this is just down to comfort eating. So I have habits to break as well as weight to lose.

I know SW though and I know I can do this. I want to reach 9stone 10lbs and do it safely and healthily. Where else to turn than SW?!?!

I am excited about being back and looking forward to 'seeing' you all again. I may not be as active as I was before, simply because I have less free time, but I'll try to come on daily and provide the support I receive in return.

All my love, as always -

P.S. One of the good things to happen (it's not all doom lol) is that I've met a new guy! He's really sweet and caring and I feel that 'zing' with him that I lost before. My ex and my new boyfriend get on AMAZINGLY well and are friends (told you it was amicable) and though he is going through a divorce which is taking it's toll, we're happy. Day at a time - not making any mistakes this time!!! But for now, things are on the up and I feel like I am myself a bit more than I was :)
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Wow what an eventful year! I'm new to the site, but just want to wish you all the best!


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