AmandaJayne
Trainee Maintainer
It's my third day and it's like coming home. I feel comfortable and calm. I don't know whether I'm in ketosis yet, but I don't feel hungry.
Yesterday I awoke with a headache and felt a bit sick. I guess my digestive system was a bit freaked out. Today I feel good.
I am particularly pleased that skimmed milk is now allowed. It does make a difference when I have a cup of tea.
Also, I've quickly got used to drinking the water. My CD counsellor suggested I have a glass of water in the bathroom ready to drink when I'm in the shower, to get me started for the day.
I've been sitting here wondering why I prefer not eating to eat. It does seem weird. I suppose I associate eating with negative emotions: anxiety, shame, self-disgust. Being on the dieting treadmill for so long means that I have developed an unhealthy relationship with food.
I have been seeing a psychologist for three weeks now, and it has been empowering to talk to someone about stuff in my life.
I have learned that trying to be perfect, not showing weakness, not trusting anyone, not confiding problems to friends, keeping people at arms length (to protect me), all have an effect on my ability to cope with emotions. I don't/can't deal with them, turn them inward, magnify them, and mindless eating of carbs helps to numb the unbearable feelings...until next time.
Tetra packs are particulaly good because they require no preparation and are so quick to drink down. Not like eating at all.
I am sitting here with my eyes wide open to receive the sun (if that makes any sense, it being half past midnight). I feel like a cloud, or heavy weight has been lifted. Does this strike a chord with any other miniminers? I'd like to hear your thoughts/opinions...
AJ
Yesterday I awoke with a headache and felt a bit sick. I guess my digestive system was a bit freaked out. Today I feel good.
I am particularly pleased that skimmed milk is now allowed. It does make a difference when I have a cup of tea.
Also, I've quickly got used to drinking the water. My CD counsellor suggested I have a glass of water in the bathroom ready to drink when I'm in the shower, to get me started for the day.
I've been sitting here wondering why I prefer not eating to eat. It does seem weird. I suppose I associate eating with negative emotions: anxiety, shame, self-disgust. Being on the dieting treadmill for so long means that I have developed an unhealthy relationship with food.
I have been seeing a psychologist for three weeks now, and it has been empowering to talk to someone about stuff in my life.
I have learned that trying to be perfect, not showing weakness, not trusting anyone, not confiding problems to friends, keeping people at arms length (to protect me), all have an effect on my ability to cope with emotions. I don't/can't deal with them, turn them inward, magnify them, and mindless eating of carbs helps to numb the unbearable feelings...until next time.
Tetra packs are particulaly good because they require no preparation and are so quick to drink down. Not like eating at all.
I am sitting here with my eyes wide open to receive the sun (if that makes any sense, it being half past midnight). I feel like a cloud, or heavy weight has been lifted. Does this strike a chord with any other miniminers? I'd like to hear your thoughts/opinions...
AJ