im so sad im literally crying at my desk!!!

Discussion in 'Weight Watchers' started by kimmie, 14 May 2008 Social URL.

  1. kimmie

    kimmie Full Member

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    ahhhhhhhhhh!!!! right i have a 15 month old son, and for those of you who have children you will know that they get ill alot! especially seen as though hes at nursey and catches things off other babies all the time!! i dont have a lot of family that can help me out to babysit and my office is small and when someone is missing it does make it a bit arkward but nevertheless..... i dropped him at nursery this morn and at 10 i got a call saying he has got chicken pots and i had to come pick him up! i was in such a panic coz of the way work react! iv never had a day off for myself in 2 years! barring being pregnant and taking maternity leave! well they were horrible with me made me feel like ****!! Iv just come back in work and no1 is talking to me, like iv done something wrong! im sat here literally so upset but cant let any1 see... i feel like a bad mum for being annoyed that hes got chicken pox and its not his fault!!! how bad is that! as soon as my boss comes back from the bank, he wants a word with me in his office! and i dont know what to do! i want to quit but i need the money!! i even came back off maternity warly to help them out! always worked overtime n stuff, they just dont care! what horrible people! god what should i do!!
     
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  3. hotstuff

    hotstuff Full Member

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    Ah the poor wee lad! You need to stand your ground, things happen from time to time which require our own personal attention, people especially children get sick and exceptions need to be made (provided of course that the person in question is not taking the p*ss but it doesn't seem to me that you would be from reading your post).
    To me that just sounds like you took an extended lunch break.

    Chin up and hope your son gets better soon.
     
  4. NikkiH

    NikkiH Likes to eat

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    Oh Kimmie, you poor, poor little pet.

    My heart is really going out to you and I'm sooooooooooo angry here at the minute - how DARE they treat you like this??? for Gods sake!! I cant believe it!! :mad:

    Does anyone else in the office have children? did anyone ever have to take sick leave/ force majure/ unexpected leave? if not they are the most lucky people I have ever came across before.

    Firstly, you are NOT in any way, shape or form a bad mother for being annoyed that hes sick - you're feeling sh*t cos of the pressure you have been put under and there doesnt seem to be anything you can do about it.

    Dont panic for the minute, (about the chat with you're boss) more often than not we build things up completely unneccessarily and they are'nt what we expect at all - he may even just want to see if you're ok etc..

    If on the other hand, he wants to give out to you for this (and Im getting annoyed even thinking of that!!) I would remind him of other peoples sick leave etc.. and ask if you're being discriminated against because you're a working mother (the word will scare him) or, if others in work have'nt been treated the same when taking sick leave/ force majure etc.. tell him you feel there is favouritism.

    I am completely, completely disgusted. You poor pet. Will you promise to let me know how you get on?

    Honestly, working mothers have such a hard time of it....

    thinking of you xxx
     
  5. BIG BIRDY

    BIG BIRDY Silver Member

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    I don't think he can fire you either - There are strict laws governing this, you do have rights. He can put it down as a warning, and so many warnings you are 'out', there again they have to be just and lawful. IT might not be that bad after all!
     
  6. monkeys bunny

    monkeys bunny need 2get my head into it

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    i dont have any kids but i do always feel sorry for the people that do here at work and have to rush off or call in to say they cant come in cos their kids are ill etc , i have also noticed that nurserys seem to send kids home for the smallest things making life harder for working mums, here they have to take the time as holidays. i cant also see the side from people with no kids that are sat at working thinking your 'off' and they are not cos they dont have kids they sometimes feel discriminated against cos they dont have children.

    but, its not your fault your child is ill, its just the way these things go. take a deep breath in for 3seconds through your nose, hold it for 3 seconds and breath is out through your mouth for 4 second. focus hold your head up and remember your children come first, you come second and other peoples opinions are so far down the list they have no number.

    x
     
  7. vicky82

    vicky82 Meh

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    Im really sorry about your wee boy, hope he gets well soon.

    As for your job, they sound like a nasty bunch of *****. They cant fire you, they have no legal right to do so, they cant send you to coventry like that, this is classed as workplace bullying.
    If I was you I would wait till my boss comes back in, get in there first, you go and see him. Tell him how your feeling, that no one is talking to you and its making you work difficult for you, tell him that no one is allowed to do that in a working environment.
    Contact the CAB and talk to them or labour relations. Take no **** hun!
     
  8. lauramumof2

    lauramumof2 Full Member

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    thats awful, why should you be made to feel guilty. Its not like you naffed off for the whole day and the circumstances were pretty unique.

    I hope he isnt too bad with the chickenpox. Ive 2 and for a while they seemed to get everything going.

    I hope the meeting with the boss goes well. Dont be submissive and let them intimidate you.

    Laura x
     
  9. SiobhanVon

    SiobhanVon Silver Member

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    That is so cruel of them! But leave your emotions aside for a minute and try not to be too swayed by them. I know it is tough but if you go in there and talk to him emotionally it will only concrete any negative feelings he has about mothers in the workplace.
    If you go in and explain to him logically that you had to leave for a very good reason and be calm about it he ought to be calm as well. Chicken pox is a milestone illness and everyone gets it, it is tough, my nephew had it two weeks ago and was quite ill. Try to keep in mind that childhood illness strengthens his immunity and just be there for him! You are a good mother, a bad mother would have stayed at work!
    It would be a very fair case to take against your boss if he fired you for leaving work to look after your sick child. No court in the country would be on his side! x Chin up hun...x
     
  10. monkeys bunny

    monkeys bunny need 2get my head into it

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    Kimmie- has anything else happened, what did your boss say?
     
  11. paula 36

    paula 36 Gold Member

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    oh lovey you poor thing.
    I hope your little one gets better soon and i hope you get on ok at workxx
     
  12. Barb

    Barb Gold Member

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    You are in a very strong position - you are a parent! You are entitled to apply for flexible working and also can expect reasonable treatment. I say this as an employer of 35 women of childbearing age! 3 years ago I had 11 girls off on maternity leave! We coped, it wasn't easy but we did. I see this prob from all angles - my business? I own 3 nursery schools! I can't tell you how guilty/rotten we feel when we have to ring Mums (yes, it is mostly Mums) to say their little ones are ill and need collection. The only time I get cross is when parents put work first and flat refuse to come. That happens, more often than I can believe.

    You take the bull by the horns and say you want a meeting too. Its time to stop this bullying you are receiving.

    Good luck and hope your little chap feels way better really quickly.

    N.B we actually allow kiddies in with CPox - if they have no temps and are well enough, we keep them clear of preggie mums and generally parents are chuffed to get a nasty illness out the way early. Speaking as someone who had it aged 24, I think it's a good move to get it over with!

    Love
     
  13. fatfighter

    fatfighter wannabe yummy mummy

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    {{{hugs}}} Kimmie
     
  14. jamhulio

    jamhulio Full Member

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    ah bless you, horrible horrible work people, know how you feel, i suffer with very serious eye infection, sometimes once every 8 months or so and get excrutiating pain and can't see for a week or so and I get loads of dirty looks etc for being off work. You need to stand your ground honey, you've got rights. Hope everything goes okay for you x
     
  15. nicib

    nicib Member

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    They havent got a legal leg to stand on hun, and morally are acting like jerks!!! You are allowed parental leave if your child is poorly.xx
     
  16. monkeys bunny

    monkeys bunny need 2get my head into it

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  17. kimmie

    kimmie Full Member

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    i just wanna say thank to every1 for your msgs of support, really means alot!!! i couldnt come back online yesterday coz i ended up going home, i was annoyed and upset and just wanted to be with my
    boy!! they pretty much tried forcing me to use my holidays up i have only got 5 days left and they would have loved for me to take them as they wouldnt have to worry about getting cover for me later on in the year. but i stood my ground and never took the holidays, i luckily got my partners sister to mind him today, her kids have already had chickenpox so it was fine by her! I just dont feel the same here now, im so scared of robert getting ill in the future coz im always gonna be in this posistion! I need to get a job where i can put my boy first without being made to feel bad.... all seems calm today, but as i said im gonna have to go through this next time hes ill, iv started looking for jobs near to his nursery today so il take it from there! but thanks again, really made me feel so much better this morning to know i was understood by someone!! thanks xxxx
     
  18. vicky82

    vicky82 Meh

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    Hiya kimmie, good luck in the job hunt. Thet cant make you feel like that, its called constructive dismissel, Constructive dismissal : Directgov - Employment
    If you feel like you cant stay you cant take them to an industrial tribunal through Labour Relations. Take the b*****ds to the cleaners. I would. Your wee boy comes first above anything.
     
  19. fatfighter

    fatfighter wannabe yummy mummy

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    Kimmie you really should consider speaking to an adviser at citizens advice about this, its absolutely shocking they were trying to force you to take your hols when your child was ill!:mad:
    Good luck with the job search chick, hope the little 'un is feeling better soon. Take care X
     
  20. kimmie

    kimmie Full Member

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    thanks vicki, i will do definatly! iv just been told that my boyfriends sister cant mind my son tmoz coz shes working, so iv told work and they have said i either use a holiday or i lose a days pay and my attendance bonus! im going to the citizens advice after work coz im not sure they can actually do that, but its a small company and im sure they have there own rules for things, so not sure where i stand, but im sure il find out soon! thanks again for the support! xxx
     
  21. monkeys bunny

    monkeys bunny need 2get my head into it

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    to be honest, and your all prob' gonna hate me for this, but at our work people who have time off to look after their ill children etc have to use up their holidays to do so or if its only a couple of hours make up the time. i know Kimmie may not be like this but it is a sad fact that some people just take the pee out of their employers and at the end of the day they are trying to make money & its a business. also its not really fair on people with out kids to let others be off work for reason that are not their own personal illness and not have to make up the time. again its more people who take the mick and use the system to just have days off when ever but you have too see it from both sides, its like discriminating against people with no children to let people with children have time off when ever and not have to make it back up again.

    the people in your office kimmie should not be cruel and stop talking to you but if set ground rules were in place and explained to you by your boss at the start off employment with regards to child illness then the office would have run smoother with people knowing were they stand in such a situation and you would not have had to worry your self over this.

    have you checked your contract of employment on the matter?
     
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