Im so stressed need to let some steam off

Discussion in 'Lighter Life Forum' started by lynnwilliams, 21 October 2008 Social URL.

  1. lynnwilliams

    lynnwilliams Silver Member

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    I started childminding 1 year ago.I looked after my niece since she was a baby. I helped my sister and her boyfriend out financially by not charging them full fee's.
    Over the years me and my niece bonded. She did not like leaving me, and she loved being with me. My sisters boyfriend got kind of jealous about it and has never liked me because of this.

    1 more niece on....
    I looked after both of them (still helping them out financially(mug yes i am) as im not well off.

    Anyway my eldest niece turned 21/2 they decided to put her in to nursery(probably because it was her boyfriends decision to part me and my niece(i am upset about this.Its like losing my own child (again).

    Anyway i started charging full fee's this time with their youngest i mean i am trying to run a business and i only have the one child.

    He has gone away to plymouth for the last 3 weeks and because littleone does not go to nursery on wednesdays and he usually has both girls, they asked me to have them.

    When i told her what the charges will be she freaked. Her partner doews not help her out financially so she says he wont help her with childcare.

    I said does she want me down for emergency contact because of the holidays first she said yes, then she said no, as they will take time off work to have her.
    Now i have booked a week off for the 1st week of november as my man has booked that off work, and he has gone and taken a week off for his favourite child for half term, to spend a week with her, does he not realise he has two children.

    She took a day off work and said rather than pay me she would rather take the day offf
    Im so angry, and upset and feel so used all the help i have given her not just financially. I let her and the girls stay when her and her bloke had arguements.
    Im actually going to give up childminding and work in a nursery because
    1. I wont get used by parents
    2. I wont have to worry about all this damn paperwork
    3. I wont have to deal with my nin and tax and end of year tax forms which is killing me.
    4. I WONT TO START THE NEW YEAR STRESS FREE AND A NEW STRONG ME WITH CONFIDENCE.

    Here is my other load! This is the worst.
    I had my daughter 16 years ago, i was a young 18 when i had her.
    I had certain members of family that took over her at times, and spoilt her and tried bringing her up because i was so young.

    Anyway
    16 years on, she left school, and i had a few probs with her being a little 16 year old, with stealing from me, and finding a drug in her room, now she has always be good but just bad temper tantrums..lol

    Last year me and my hubby had words with her because she was being a bit like a 16 year old lazy ect and it turned in to an arguement and my aunty took her in and said she is not coming back home. Anyway after phonecall from police and social services she came back home.

    This time round she went to my aunty's sent me a nasty text saying she will have a better life with my nan and my aunty, and she is never coming back home. You can imagine how that felt, your only one child you have and family members took her away from me, and did not encourage to come back home at all, then they said ah we need to take her child benefit money(coz my aunty is like money, money money)
    Anyway my daughter has not come back home i have been upset by this for a long time, i have to bottle it up inside. I used to think my family was so close and my family were great until this happened.

    Sorry for the long typing i probably bored you all
    zzzzzz
     
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  3. Tange

    Tange Silver Member

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    Hi Lynn,

    You poor thing. It is really awful when people kick you in the teeth like that.

    Hun you have got it all out now and it could not have been easy to tell us all. Now you need to find a way to deal with it. That is probably the hardest part. I wish I had some sound advise for you.
     
  4. lynnwilliams

    lynnwilliams Silver Member

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    Aw thanks Tange for taking the time to read it, im not good at writing essays, even more when im upset.
    I think i what to move away from my area and start a new life with my husband.I knnow the problems will still be with me but i do want to start a new life and a new career away from where i am now.
     
  5. Tange

    Tange Silver Member

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    Well you know a change is as good as a holiday.
    But then imagine in a few months time when you are both lean and mean how good it will feel.

    You will be fine, and you will see your confidence will come back in bucket loads and soon you will be able to tell all those involved just how you feel and how they have made you feel.

    In the mean time all you need to do is stick with LL and watch the lbs fall away.
     
  6. lynnwilliams

    lynnwilliams Silver Member

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    Thankyou for your encouraging words. I will defintly stick to ll.
    xxxxxxxxx
     
  7. minime

    minime Gold Member

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    We were talking other day about family members taking advantage, you have to do what is right for you and yours. Stick to your guns hun.
     
  8. Tazzi

    Tazzi is Special :P

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    Aw hun you poor thing. Families are incredibly hard work. Doing what is right for you is a good idea. You be happy and get that less stressful job you want....everything will work out eventually. xx
     
  9. clarins

    clarins Full Member

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    sorry lynn, you are a real open honest chic, sounds like you have got alot on your plate, at least you know how to let off steam and share stuff, it is better to do that than bottle it up. cheer up and i hope you feel better soon. ((((hugs)))) clarins
     
  10. lynnwilliams

    lynnwilliams Silver Member

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    Thanks everyone! It has taken me now to open up! Also because my job has gone down the drain atm, this recession thing, its taken it out on me too..So been a bit stressed with it, we have been scraping the barrel to get the money for LL, its quite alot of money for me and my hubby doing it.I dont know how we have managed to find the money..lol.Dont know how long we can carry it on.
     
  11. minime

    minime Gold Member

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    You will just need to keep going until it comes to a point where you can't go on any longer with LL due to money worries. But truthfully before giving it up, think about what you would be spending on food each week including things like snacks, takeaways, coffees etc... you might be surprised about how much you would spend and it is cheaper or about same to do LL for both of you.
     
  12. Blonde Logic

    Blonde Logic Yes. You can.

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    I worried about cash too. And I started a mental list of belongings I would sell in order to complete the diet.

    I was prepared to sell my Harley if I had to trust me = that is the biggest sacrifice I could make. Fortunatley - still got her! :D Phew! Of course I would not want to - but completing this diet and finally getting my dream - well - that is the most important thing, so the HD would have gone if it had too.

    If there is a "will", there is always a "way". ;)
     
  13. lynnwilliams

    lynnwilliams Silver Member

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    True, but if i sell the decks and sound system think chris will divorce me.lol..shall i try it stick it on ebay..hehe
     
  14. Blonde Logic

    Blonde Logic Yes. You can.

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    Nah - cause he'll have a sexy svelte bride on his arm!!

    Besides - can always get another sound system! OR you can sing for him!! :giggle:

    xx
     
  15. slendablenda

    slendablenda Gold Member

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    Hi Lynn

    You'll probably find that the reason you were putting on the weight was for emotional reasons relating to all those difficult family issues.
    What you are going through with your sister and your daughter, as well as her partner, who sounds like a nasty piece of work, must be so hard. If your daughter has turned her back on you and the rest of your family seem to be encouraging her to do it, maybe the best thing you can do is give yourself and your husband a new start.
    I'm sure your daughter will eventually come round. You know you've done your best for her.
    Every family has 1 person who tries to be the people pleaser and hold everyone together. It sounds like that's you.I can relate to that.
    Maybe it's time for you now..............
    Regarding the money. I thought I wouldn't be able to keep it going this long too, but when you add up food bills,alcohol, some take-aways, meals out (even cheap ones) I bet you are not spending so much now.
    LL is so much more than a diet. It helps you look at life completely differently.
    Stick with it if you possibly can.
    Good luck.:love047:
     
  16. lynnwilliams

    lynnwilliams Silver Member

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    Thx slendablenda.
    I feel alot better today, i am earning some more money now, and hopefully the children will start coming, now i finally has some support. My fault really i should not expect them to come running to me, all i had to do was pick the phone up a few months ago i would not be in the financial situation im in now.
    ;) All fun n games ehxx
     
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