It can’t be done- or so they say
- Thread starter dragoneye454
- Start date
dragoneye454
Full Member
Evening. Today dad is off which usually means we try and optimise as much as possible but it’s harder and yet today it wasn’t. The fair is in town so we went to have a look and I had two welsh cakes for a total of 11 syns. The rest was all meat and salad for another unexpected speed day. That’s day number four.
The scales are definitely showing a downward trend so I hope they match with group on Saturday.
We are going to the beach tomorrow so will see how that holds out.
The scales are definitely showing a downward trend so I hope they match with group on Saturday.
We are going to the beach tomorrow so will see how that holds out.
dragoneye454
Full Member
Happy Saturday guys. Hope you are enjoying your weekend.
Managed a surprise speed day yesterday to make five in a row.
Weigh in today was minus 3 which I am very happy about but it does make me think, if I didn’t eat bad at the weekend and gain two, it could have been five off. Was it worth it? Not really as I can’t even remember what I ate, I just remember the gain.
I am one away from club ten so let’s see how we do next week. I won’t be doing speed as I don’t want to do it for too long. Also coming down with a bug so need to feed my body to fight it off quicker.
The OH lost 3.5 which is great. He has eaten bad this week but it does show how much exercise can help.
Going to make a meal plan when I get home and be on track for that 1 pound loss.
Managed a surprise speed day yesterday to make five in a row.
Weigh in today was minus 3 which I am very happy about but it does make me think, if I didn’t eat bad at the weekend and gain two, it could have been five off. Was it worth it? Not really as I can’t even remember what I ate, I just remember the gain.
I am one away from club ten so let’s see how we do next week. I won’t be doing speed as I don’t want to do it for too long. Also coming down with a bug so need to feed my body to fight it off quicker.
The OH lost 3.5 which is great. He has eaten bad this week but it does show how much exercise can help.
Going to make a meal plan when I get home and be on track for that 1 pound loss.
AliGal
Eating meat
That's good learning. Have you had a gander at this yet? https://ucalgary.ca/cdm/files/cdm/changeyourthinkingtohelpmanageyourweight20130412.pdf
Useful stuff about how our head affects our actions.
Useful stuff about how our head affects our actions.
dragoneye454
Full Member
Hey Aligal. That’s a good read. I’ve done CBT course before and it does help. I’ve definitely been more positive and easy with myself this time round
dragoneye454
Full Member
Had a clothes clear out today and whilst it may have taken almost two stone, I have finally gone down a trouser size. Happy dance.
I have very few clothes left now which means a shopping trip is needed but trying to wait as long as possible as I am hoping to go down at least another by the time I go to the business meeting on 23rd October, which I am well aware won’t happen if I have to lose 2 stone every time to drop one size. Doesn’t mean we won’t try
I have very few clothes left now which means a shopping trip is needed but trying to wait as long as possible as I am hoping to go down at least another by the time I go to the business meeting on 23rd October, which I am well aware won’t happen if I have to lose 2 stone every time to drop one size. Doesn’t mean we won’t try
AliGal
Eating meat
That's great. Try the bra calculator at https://www.reddit.com/r/ABraThatFits/ for a bra that fits. You can go to Asda and try soe of their bras or ebay to get something affordable that will last a while until you can buy bra sto keep.
I've been going to the charity shop and collection (next outlet) shop several times a month when I'm passing - so have jeans to shrink into. I think it's really important to wear clothes that fit, especially at work. I am surprised at the flexibility of my tops - looking even better now there's less of me and not yet baggy. My biggest top is a german 26 - which I think was more like a 24 as it didn't fit me when I bought it. My smallest is a nice green v neck tesco top. I've only got one bra that fits properly so that's my seeing people bra and I have the others on the 3rd hooks, straps up and they are a bit gapey. I just want to wait a bit before buying some more - and will go to Asda as my fitting bra is George and really nice.
I've been going to the charity shop and collection (next outlet) shop several times a month when I'm passing - so have jeans to shrink into. I think it's really important to wear clothes that fit, especially at work. I am surprised at the flexibility of my tops - looking even better now there's less of me and not yet baggy. My biggest top is a german 26 - which I think was more like a 24 as it didn't fit me when I bought it. My smallest is a nice green v neck tesco top. I've only got one bra that fits properly so that's my seeing people bra and I have the others on the 3rd hooks, straps up and they are a bit gapey. I just want to wait a bit before buying some more - and will go to Asda as my fitting bra is George and really nice.
dragoneye454
Full Member
I know it’s crazy what still looks fine and what doesn’t. Thanks for the tips on bras. I have a few different ones so they should be fine for now. I find it really hard to find ones in my size which is currently a 38G but did get some in America last time we went
dragoneye454
Full Member
Morning guys.
Gutted this morning as I’ve stepped on the scales and it says I have gained three over the weekend. The only thing I can put it down to is having carbs back in my eating. I can’t believe it’s jumped that much in such a short space of time.
Kind of feeling disheartened this morning. Don’t know how I am going to pull it back for this week
Gutted this morning as I’ve stepped on the scales and it says I have gained three over the weekend. The only thing I can put it down to is having carbs back in my eating. I can’t believe it’s jumped that much in such a short space of time.
Kind of feeling disheartened this morning. Don’t know how I am going to pull it back for this week
AliGal
Eating meat
It's the water that bind with the glycogen formed from the carbs _ https://www.leanhigh.com/glycogen-weight-loss
So get back on it - and you'll get it off soon.
So get back on it - and you'll get it off soon.
dragoneye454
Full Member
Evening all. Its time for a self reflective post so if you thats not your thing, please look away now.
For the past few days, I have watched myself spiral out of control and I don't just mean my eating.
I suffer with long term depression and BPD. More recently it has been manageable most of the time as long as I don't put too much pressure on myself but that has not been the case this week.
OH was supposed to be getting test results on Friday and then they phoned at the last second to say they couldn't do it and he had to wait another two weeks (after already waiting 2 1/2 weeks) to get an appointment. This is for our fertility investigations and I think it was this point I started to spiral.
In December it will be a total of 5 years since we started trying. We waited a long time to start testing as a serious depressive episode made most things take a back seat and I couldn't imagine bringing a child into the world in that sort of environment. Anyway, our first appointment to talk about it was last October, so its been a year so far and we have got nowhere. I just want the tests to be over so we know either way. Then we can move on and plan for things instead of putting everything on hold in hope. Ergo why i started to spiral on Friday.
I've put a massive amount of pressure on myself to lose weight for IVF purposes and looking good at vow renewal so when I gained on Monday morning it was another knock back.
We are also saving for our holiday of a lifetime so there is very little money to spare. Because I work from home, I don't go out and socialise as much as I should and a lack of money also adds to this. This does not help my depression as I become a hermit, finding any excuse not to go out, even if it costs nothing,
The final straw was yesterday when i decided to call up the fertility clinic and book in private tests. It wasn't that so much as the questionnaires you need to fill out. One of them being an assessment on whether they think you would be a fit parent. I took it more personally than I should have and I hit bottom for the first time in a while and I mean serious pitty party time. Its not fair, why can nothing in our lives be easy, whats the point in it all. Everything we are doing is just making us unhappy. You get the idea. I ate a huge cheesecake, which I didn't want, to make myself feel better, which it didn't, spent a load of money I shouldn't have and sobbed about how hard life can be.
Today I have woken up and am doing my best to have a clean sheet. I've eaten to the SW rules for one.
I still think I will turn up to this appointment and pay £400 just for them to say "yeah you havent had a kid because you are too fat" but I am going anyway.
I've paid bills I have neglected this week and I have picked myself up.
I expect a gain on the scales on Saturday but I will go anyway. You can't move on otherwise
I'm writing all this to remind myself that these days will happen, that tomorrow it won't look so bad and also that its ok to feel like this.
Life isn't easy. Things are sent to try us and some people are having a worse day than me.
Sadness is ok as long as you don't let it drown you
A gain is ok as long as it doesn't control you
Everyone falls. We need to be the ones that pick ourselves up, dust ourselves off and carry on.
For the past few days, I have watched myself spiral out of control and I don't just mean my eating.
I suffer with long term depression and BPD. More recently it has been manageable most of the time as long as I don't put too much pressure on myself but that has not been the case this week.
OH was supposed to be getting test results on Friday and then they phoned at the last second to say they couldn't do it and he had to wait another two weeks (after already waiting 2 1/2 weeks) to get an appointment. This is for our fertility investigations and I think it was this point I started to spiral.
In December it will be a total of 5 years since we started trying. We waited a long time to start testing as a serious depressive episode made most things take a back seat and I couldn't imagine bringing a child into the world in that sort of environment. Anyway, our first appointment to talk about it was last October, so its been a year so far and we have got nowhere. I just want the tests to be over so we know either way. Then we can move on and plan for things instead of putting everything on hold in hope. Ergo why i started to spiral on Friday.
I've put a massive amount of pressure on myself to lose weight for IVF purposes and looking good at vow renewal so when I gained on Monday morning it was another knock back.
We are also saving for our holiday of a lifetime so there is very little money to spare. Because I work from home, I don't go out and socialise as much as I should and a lack of money also adds to this. This does not help my depression as I become a hermit, finding any excuse not to go out, even if it costs nothing,
The final straw was yesterday when i decided to call up the fertility clinic and book in private tests. It wasn't that so much as the questionnaires you need to fill out. One of them being an assessment on whether they think you would be a fit parent. I took it more personally than I should have and I hit bottom for the first time in a while and I mean serious pitty party time. Its not fair, why can nothing in our lives be easy, whats the point in it all. Everything we are doing is just making us unhappy. You get the idea. I ate a huge cheesecake, which I didn't want, to make myself feel better, which it didn't, spent a load of money I shouldn't have and sobbed about how hard life can be.
Today I have woken up and am doing my best to have a clean sheet. I've eaten to the SW rules for one.
I still think I will turn up to this appointment and pay £400 just for them to say "yeah you havent had a kid because you are too fat" but I am going anyway.
I've paid bills I have neglected this week and I have picked myself up.
I expect a gain on the scales on Saturday but I will go anyway. You can't move on otherwise
I'm writing all this to remind myself that these days will happen, that tomorrow it won't look so bad and also that its ok to feel like this.
Life isn't easy. Things are sent to try us and some people are having a worse day than me.
Sadness is ok as long as you don't let it drown you
A gain is ok as long as it doesn't control you
Everyone falls. We need to be the ones that pick ourselves up, dust ourselves off and carry on.
Dave.
Full Member
That's a pretty strange question for someone who has got that far in the stage!
Out of interest, what got you down about this question? I'm struggling to understand what they are expecting to get from people asking this to be honest.
When I was at my lowest due to the weight and general thoughts, I decided to get a pedometer and started challenging myself to do steps. I eventually started hitting my goals and pushing further on and it really helped me out mentally. Obviously everyone is different but is there something that might do similar? I was also very much a hermit, so I would get out and walk around the local lake and sometimes the park but also when I couldn't be arsed I would just march up and down the front room to get my steps up whilst watching trash tv or listening to the radio. It helped take my mind off the money issues which were constantly in my head and also helped me as I knew I was doing something which would hopefully help push the weight loss and not just sitting in my boxers on the sofa watching football!
dragoneye454
Full Member
Hey Bert. I think it was the thought that my depressive history would get in the way of us having kids as it was something they asked.
I come from an abusive background and I am always scared I will end up like my mother so when it is called into question it makes me upset.
I love all your ideas you are a real inspiration.
I did try to create goals yesterday but by the end of the day I felt back to square one and I still am feeling low today.
I don’t know whether to take a break from SW to get my head straight but then I worry that will just make things worse as it would ultimately end in a gain.
I feel so lost this week and am just hoping it will pass.
I come from an abusive background and I am always scared I will end up like my mother so when it is called into question it makes me upset.
I love all your ideas you are a real inspiration.
I did try to create goals yesterday but by the end of the day I felt back to square one and I still am feeling low today.
I don’t know whether to take a break from SW to get my head straight but then I worry that will just make things worse as it would ultimately end in a gain.
I feel so lost this week and am just hoping it will pass.
Dave.
Full Member
Don't give up! You've done too well to stop now. Start from a fresh after your next weigh in and push for that Club 10 award, you weren't far from it.
As for turning into someone you don't want to, you've got no worries there have you? You know what you wouldn't want to be. I think we all have this self doubt quite often, especially when we can relate to people close to us who have gone through it. I don't really want to discuss mine openly on here but I had a relative who I saw myself adopting one of their bad habits which would have really badly affected my life and my childrens. I almost let it happen but managed to control it, I think it really helps knowing how it affects other people and how you wouldn't wish it on them and you obviously do.
So like you said, don't let that gain control you. Put it past you this week and restart next week. Think back to those weeks where you've surpassed your expectations, what foods have worked well for you. Maybe look for the carb alternative that you might crave! Some cauliflower rice instead of normal rice. Forget about potatoes, you'll be doing better than I am if you manage that!
As for turning into someone you don't want to, you've got no worries there have you? You know what you wouldn't want to be. I think we all have this self doubt quite often, especially when we can relate to people close to us who have gone through it. I don't really want to discuss mine openly on here but I had a relative who I saw myself adopting one of their bad habits which would have really badly affected my life and my childrens. I almost let it happen but managed to control it, I think it really helps knowing how it affects other people and how you wouldn't wish it on them and you obviously do.
So like you said, don't let that gain control you. Put it past you this week and restart next week. Think back to those weeks where you've surpassed your expectations, what foods have worked well for you. Maybe look for the carb alternative that you might crave! Some cauliflower rice instead of normal rice. Forget about potatoes, you'll be doing better than I am if you manage that!
dragoneye454
Full Member
Evening Bert.
Thanks for the encouragement. I am still eating badly but instead of just curling up and sleeping I have gone for a bike ride after work. Unfortunately I am fitter than I thought and am now over an hour early to meet OH so I am sat in brewers with a Pepsi max.
I know I sound so wallowy lately but I am trying to pull myself out. It’s just difficult.
One thing at a time is the only way I know so I’m going to let Saturday be the gain it will be and concentrate on me and my OH for a bit.
I will hopefully then be on the right head space to pull it back the week after
Thanks for the encouragement. I am still eating badly but instead of just curling up and sleeping I have gone for a bike ride after work. Unfortunately I am fitter than I thought and am now over an hour early to meet OH so I am sat in brewers with a Pepsi max.
I know I sound so wallowy lately but I am trying to pull myself out. It’s just difficult.
One thing at a time is the only way I know so I’m going to let Saturday be the gain it will be and concentrate on me and my OH for a bit.
I will hopefully then be on the right head space to pull it back the week after
dragoneye454
Full Member
Hi guys.
Sorry I haven’t been around. We got the news we had been dreading.
We can’t have kids and our world just feels like a black void right now.
We have no interest in anything let alone eating. We are just lost right now.
I hope I can jump back to it at some point but right now it’s the least of my concerns
Sorry I haven’t been around. We got the news we had been dreading.
We can’t have kids and our world just feels like a black void right now.
We have no interest in anything let alone eating. We are just lost right now.
I hope I can jump back to it at some point but right now it’s the least of my concerns
Jenny_b
Gold Member
Just read your diary, I’m so sorry to see the bad news at the end. I can’t imagine how hard that must be for you. I went though an awful time having 7 miscarriages where I thought it was never going to happen, I went from being desperate to carry my husbands baby, to just wanting to raise a child with him. We looked at all the options and just wanted a child to call our own. I hope that you and your husband will see this isn’t the end to your dreams of being parents. Hope you can get back on plan when things aren’t as tough. Here if you need to talk x x
