It's now or never

egbert

Silver Member
I have never written a weight loss diary before, I really am hoping that this will help keep me focused. Don't feel you have to read it all though - rambling and self-absorbed as diaries are.

I have been putting on the weight for the last 10 years, since I met OH and discovered take aways. Two kids later and I put on 4 stone that I just never shifted.

After DS was born and we decided no more kids, I thought this is the time to do it, it's either lose it now and be a fit, fun mum, or keep it on and be the fat frump they are embarrassed about at the school gates. Plus I want to feel like a 30 something woman in my own right, not just a mum. There is more to me than just being a mum - dont get me wrong, I love my munchkins and being a mum but I think that I am also still me. Having the kids has given me much more confidence in myself too, so for the first time in my life I want to see what I can look like with a nice figure, good clothes and even wear a dress for the 1st time in . . . well I was a bridesmaid 12 years ago.

2 years ago while on mat leave I did 6 months of gym and slim fast and lost 2 stone. I felt great, I had energy, I played loads with the kids and was generally happier and more fun. But back to sitting in front of a computer all day with no time for the gym and gradually I have got tired, lazy, irritable . . . and put on a stone.

SO, I am going to do the CD. I am going to lose 3 - 3.5 stone. I am going to start by getting the figure I want, then work on the rest!

When I have lost the weight, OH and I are getting married, so that is my goal. To be a slim (not skinny) bride who feels happy and confidence in my wedding dress.
 
OK - so that was the intro - sorry it was long winded.

So I actually started last week. Day 1 and 2 were ok, slightly hungry on 4 CD meals a day, but I persevered. Day 3 I started to feel light headed at work so had a few slices of sandwich ham - well I have to be safe to drive. Day 4 and 5 I felt good, not very hungry, even managed to get my DS a sausage roll from Greggs, my favourite, and not take a bite despite him sitting on my lap to eat it. Talk about torture!

Oh, but Day 6 we went to a festival. I walked past the hog roast, I ignored the BBQ, I even went to the burger van to get hot water and made up a soup while in the middle of the park, surrounded by family and friends shovelling in chips. But I did fall down and succumb to half a pint, a vodka and a handful of crisps, a kit kat and a nectarine. Oops.

And Day 7 I had family over for lunch, and although I did stick to the meat and green veg my CDC said would be ok, I suspect my portion size was a little over sized.

So - week 2, Day 8 & 9 - I have behaved, I have stuck to my 4 shakes . . . but now it's evening and I am trying to wait as long as possible before having my soup so it fills me for the night . . . while my family eat chicken nuggets, chips and eggs. Oh how hard is this :(
 
The festival day actually doesn't sound too bad, definitely not a binge by any means!!

Don't mind about the journal entries, bet I can rival yours with my lengthy posts ;) Diaries are supposed to be all about you, so there is no shame in that!

Best of luck to you. It sounds like you are doing quite well, so keep it up. You're on your way to a healthier, happier, more energetic self. And you're right, you're a mum but you are still a unique individual. :)
 
Thanks - I am doing my best. I did just nibble a tiny bit of a chicken nugget - I had to check it wasnt too hot for the kids.

Veg soup for dinner! I am very glad I like the taste of these meals - I only liked the cafe flavour slim fast. 6 months of that did get a tad dull :)
 
Hmm - something suspicious here. I didn't have a week 1 weigh in, I arranged to see my CDC after 2 weeks due to work. SO I just thought I would have a sneak preview and check my measurements.

Now either her tape measure is wrong or I am the only person who puts on inches while losing weight! Whats that about? A bit depressed now, I wish I hadn't checked. I have lost about 8 pounds in 8 days, not too bad with my naughty weekend - but why are the inches going up. Tch
 
You could be bloated perhaps? Sure it wasn't the centimeter side? (sorry, I know you're not stupid but I thought I'd ask :eek: !)

I'd ignore the measurements at this point and just look at the numbers on the scale for now. :hug99:

People also tend to be bigger and heavier at night. When you last measured yourself was it in the morning?
 
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Hmm- I saw my CDC and she did the measurements about 11 am, before I had eaten anything. So maybe I am bloated from all the water I am trying to remember to drink. Oh well, as long as the scales are with me, the tape measure can wait. :)
 
I've found the measurements lag behind the scales, after two weeks i'd lost a stone and a half but only 1.5 inches from my waist.

The measurements have got better but still slow, i've lost 2 stone now and not even gone down a dress size, gone from a tight 18 to a loose 18 but 16 not a good idea yet...
 
Scales this morning showed another pound down so a good mood to carry me to work. And walking about today I feel better in myself already - 'walking tall'. So I feel really incentivised to stick to this 100% till my next cheat day in 2 weeks for a friends wedding.

Did I mention I gave up smoking the days I starte CD! Nothing like making it tough. But I have the anti smoking pills from the GP and have to say after 9 days I was not feeling cravings at all until this morning, when I forgot my pill. But using my new found good feeling and CD will power I will get through until this evening wen I am home and can take it!
 
Chocolate shake for dinner - well I already had 2 soups today and was getting a little bored of them. Not so keen on the chocolate, surprisingly I prefer cappuccino and vanilla (with a dash of expresso) - so may just stick to those next time I get an order.

2 days to my 1st weigh in (2 weeks in to CD). Must drink more water!
 
Scales this morning and another pound down - yay. Just had a choc orange shake for my 4pm and I find they just do not blend well. Always lumpy. Next time I see CDC (oooh tomorrow for my 1st weigh in) I will give back all the choc and stick to non-choc flavours I think!

Oops, I did just have a slice of ham too, but at least it took away the flavour of the choc orange for a while! Must get the concentration back in place - I have a mums night out in a week and a wedding in 2, so I need to get as much weight off before that as possible so they don't ruin my losses, and therefore willpower and determination, too much!

Time to rescue the cat from the toddler!
 
Oh I do wish my kids wouldn't insist on sitting on my lap while they eat snacks :(

Although I guess the day will come when I wish they still gave me cuddles.
 
Been for a wander round the garden and seen that my potatoes are ready to dig up, my carrots and toms are growing well and the mange tout is ready to pick and eat. :(

Hmm, hadn't thought about all my home grown veg when I started the CD. Does this mean I can't eat it?
 
I've not a clue about the veggies! Shouldn't most of those be quite good for you? If not, you could sell them or give them away. So sorry about that, very disappointing :patback:
 
Oh dear, feeling a little low now. I sneaked a mange tout (or 8) and a piece of ham. Now feeling very fed up with myself and having urges to say sod it and eat something else.

No, No, No! I will not give in. I will cook the kids some of my lovely eggs from our own chickens, poached on toast, with lovely runny centres, and I WILL NOT EAT them! :mad::mad::mad::mad:
:cry::cry:


Oh my - why am I having such bad cravings today.:eek::eek:
 
:hug99: We have all been there hon!!! This is the time where you need to make a list of reasons why losing weight is so important to you. Keep the list on your computer or your fridge. Reasons can include better health, being better able to care for your children, being able to live a long life and seeing your grandchildren grow up, fitting into cute clothes, etc etc etc.

Sending vibes hon, you have NOT ruined your day and you will be okay! :vibes:
 
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