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Its time to be alive


Full Member
S: 8st7lb C: 7st7lb G: 7st3lb BMI: 17.5 Loss: 1st0lb(11.76%)
Hello everybody, just a little shoutout to anybody who has been following my story (I know its been a long time), just thought I'd give you a recap in order to let you know that this morning I realised I was alive :)

So whats been happening... I passed my A-levels with flying colours (AAA) and went onto start my training as an RGN.
Unfortunately due to a MASS of awful events, all occuring on the same week, my eating disorder spun out of control to levels I thought in incapable of and I fell into the darkest mood I had ever known.

I suddenly awoke in hospital in unbearable agony with total amnesia about the previous handful of days. When I came through I was brought upto date... I had been semi-dragged into A&E by my boyfriend sobbing hysterically then started wretching and fell unconscious. As the dust started to clear from my mind the memory came back loud and clear that I had taken a Paracetemol overdose and written a suicide note.

The doctors explained to me that had I been rescued by my boyfriend one hour later I would have (inevitably) died. Over a period of two weeks via renal failure (ouch). The pain I was then experiencing would have been nothing in comparison.

I left hospital not too happy to be alive and started ploughing on through my life in melancholy. One day I just lost it, grabbed my iPod and just ran and ran and ran along the south bank river in London, wrapped up in the panoramic views I suddenly realised I had run to the other end of town, hastily ran across a bridge and back home. It was only when I opened up a map later that I realised I had run 6.5 miles... for the first time.

Every step was a step-up from there, I restarted working at the hospital, doing all I could for HIV and TB patients, and just ran more and more, got happier and happier... Whats really bizarre was that I realised the split-second I stopped worrying about my weight I became a good runner. And despite my eating disorder steadily fazing itself out... I haven't gained an ounce of weight :) Yes, I am still underweight, but with no symptoms of malnourishment... I guess this is just down to a healthy lifestyle.

So where am I now? I am an over-achieving trainee nurse, a runner preparing for their first marathon in 2011 (running a minimum 22 miles per week), the prize-pupil of a yoga class and an amateur-apparantly-with-a-lot-of-potential boxer. And get this... I'm even starting to talk again. Yes, to people :)

I guess this is... alive.
Its not too bad actually.
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