Step 1 Sole Source It's time to prove people wrong!

You're doing very well :)
 
No matter how 'perfect' someone may appear to be from the outside, everyone has things they dislike about themselves, be it something small or big, but as we grow older most of us accept that those things are just who we are and no one else really looks at those 'flaws' the same way we do. I've accepted most of the things, but there's things I'll never be ok with - like my face or my bigger-than-is-proportional upper arms - I ALWAYS wear long sleeves or 3/4 length to hide them, but that's for multiple reasons, not just the flab. *shrugs slightly*

I'm sorry your new job is awful :( It does sound a bit draining, but giving it a few months and looking for something a bit more exciting is something that is a possibility. No jobs are fun unless it's something you're absolutely passionate about, but at the end of the day, find little things that make you happy even in the current role to make it more bearable. I did that with my previous job - I was working at Tiger (if you've heard of them?) and it was a draining retail job, but I took pride in tiny small things, like making my displays perfect and talking to customers about our products (I was in the arts&crafts department and since I'm quite arty it was a small joy!).

Man... your deckchair incident reminded me falling through a glass table (I was encouraged to sit on!!!) when I was 14 or so at my teacher's office... I was pretty huge at the time (size 20?) so no idea why they thought that would be a good idea. The deckchair was worn out and wasn't your fault at all, but I can imagine it wasn't so much fun especially with a resulting pain in your tailbone - you've got to be careful as a serious fall on it can cause problems for a very long time. :(

And lastly a BIG WELL DONE on your progress this week in both measurements and the weight loss! The BBQ wouldn't have affected it as you were very sensible, it is about calories at the end of the day, but sometimes VLCD thinking creeps in and there's a crooked thought that ANYTHING off plan will mean zero loss. If that was the case, no other diets would work! The STS would only come from the body retaining a little more than the almost none glycogen stores it got used to and those go up and down all the time because our body does need energy to keep going!

You're doing so well, I hope you have a fantastic weekend x (sorry for the long comment D: )
 
I know Tiger! Responsible for so many silly impulse buys lol. I live browsing round In there though I can see it would be draining! I think part if ig is that I'm a trained teacher and I adore teaching. I really love it. But the contract ended and I miss it so it's getting me down. Hopefully by September I'll find another role. And in July I'm off on holiday too so counting the hours to that! A real adventure time.

Thankyou for the positive comments! I am so proud. In 3.5 lbs ill weigh the least I have since I was 24 years old. Can't wait! And you are right, it's so easy to get a skewed perception on VLCD diets and start panicking over anything. As long as I am sensible I should have nothing to worry about - and if in doubt there's lovely people here to talk to!

How's it all going with you, still well? Hope you had a wicked weekend too - blizzard gave me the free Drsenor upgrade so you can guess how mine was lol!

Nadia x
 
Tiger is a really great store - but it's a lot of work to keep everything tidy and stocked with all the masses wondering through! Christmas was an absolute NIGHTMARE, we'd be running replenishing every hour because the demand is just so high! I really hope you find another role in teaching - what subject/age group do you specialise in? :) I also want to become a teacher, hence why I'm torturing myself with a Computer Science degree as no one needs Sociology teachers which is a shame, as that's really where my passion lies.

Well done, you're doing so well with the diet, that 3.5 lbs will be off in no time at all! With the VLCD thinking, would maybe a small protein meal per week help to alleviate the negative thinking - like Bethiee is doing? It may normalise any bad thoughts towards it in the long term for when the re-feeding phase comes, as it can be hard to deal with. If you don't feel it fits in with your current path, then there is no need, it's only a small suggestion as it can help some people feel a sense of normality.

My weekend .. well. I wrote about it in my diary, today hasn't been good at all... but there's nothing really I can do about the events that happened. =(

Are you enjoying Draenor? :) There's so much to do! Garrisons, shipyard, questing, exploring, I really loved it. I don't know which faction you play (as Pandaren can be anything ._. ), but if you're Horde I can always come and help with something or other x
 
I read your diary earlier. I'm so sorry it sounds awful for you all. Furbabies are our most treasured possessions and it's awful to feel helpless to help them. But it sounds like they have a fantastic mama bear in you who is going to treat them super well and give them a paradise for however long you can. Feel free to talk if you need a shoulder. Big hugs to you.

I'm alliance I'm afraid! Bitter enemies haha. I'm a frost mage, a little squishy running around. I'm loving the garrisons I must admit. I love the fact that I can make a difference to my part of the game and interact more. The missions are fun as well its a bit of micromanaging. I'm thinking of rolling a horde alt at one point I will let you know and get the same realm :)

I am considering adding in a protein meal on the weekends when I'm with friends as I think it'll help me control things easier and not freak out about food. It's a very good idea Thankyou! Though I am a bit worried as im an all or nothing eater so will need a balance. I can work it out.

It seems quite easy to pick up and develop bad thoughts and feelings towards food from the opposite goal post to what I'm used to. I thought that by just getting rid of the urge to use food for everything from boredom to happiness to everything in between would sort it out. Turns out that there's a whole school of spectres and imps devoted to food and eating. I must be careful not to go the other way I think. I have a habit and a history of taking things to extremes so I need to stop that!

So today has been good and easy. Luckily I love the tomato and basil soups so they are quick and easy to tuck into to. A risotto for tea as well, doesn't sound like a diet at all really!!

Nadia x
 
So. Tonight I absolutely cannot drop off to sleep. It's 3.10 am and I need to be at work for 9. I am buzzing with energy and I don't like it one bit. My normal go to is a mug if Horlicks (or Snorelicks, as I like to call it) but a brief check of the ingredients is a no no.

Anyone else get this? Any ideas on dropping off? I'm using a white noise app which usually works but no dice tonight. ...

Tomorrow I will be a bear with a sore head.

Nx
 
Try herbal tea-my daughter has trouble sleeping and gets one called sleepy tea and it helps a lot.
 
Thanks Nadia, it means a lot what you said. Our fur babies really do mean so much, don't they! It's the worst feeling to feel so helpless. Knowing that they'll die with no hope at all. It's ... devastating. But I'm giving them the best life possible for the time that I will have them. :)

I'm on Tarren Mill, so I'd be happy to help out if you ever decide to come over to the dark side :p We don't bite, I promise!

As for dieting... I know what you mean about taking things to extremes. It's hard not to dip into those behaviours again when things get going... I know I'm fighting my own battles at the moment with it as the diet goes along. I used to be the same with the black and white thinking, it's either one or the other... But years of calorie counting and mixing packs with small meals actually helped and made me see that food isn't the enemy, that weight can be managed and mental demons subdued by having a sense of control and mindfulness over the entire thing. The problem with a pure VLCD is that it does induce a sense of - if you eat then THAT'S IT, IT'S ALL OVER. And then the overwhelming feeling comes that you've failed and then give up. But remember, always, you're in control. Keeping calm and calculating the meals at first so that you know it's not breaking your hard work so far.

I really hope you got some sleep after a restless night, sometimes ketosis can trigger some energy spurt that just won't quiet down. =/
 
I've not been on here much this week as just been plain exhausted! I finally picked up some sleepy time tea, and it helped quite a bit Slim, thanks for the rec! It's a regular now I think.

Minera I hope you are doing well and having fun spoiling the furbabies. I am nearly dinging 100 so may be joining you soon! You speak much sense about eating and I have taken your advice to heart and I'm having a once a week protein meal with friends. It's helping me get used to eating and being mindful, and get over the temptation to have the same as everyone else. Pizza is slowly losing its charm!

Just completed my weigh in. Another 4.5lbs off, which I am over the moon with! What a result . Prepped for a low one next week but I can handle that. And I'm in a new weight bracket - the 15s! Hurrah! That aim of 14st by end of July is looking more and more likely. Im loving it!

I hope you all have equally good weigh ins and weeks :)

Nadia x

Starting weight : 17st7
Total lost: 23 lbs
Current weight: 15st13
 
Great stuff! You are well on your way to that 14 stone target! I share the tiredness...but my brain doesn't want to switch off! I sleep so deeply once I am asleep, though. I'm sure carbs must affect my sleep as I feel so much more refreshed when I wake up on Cambridge.

Fingers crossed your weight loss stays consistent this week too. As long as you're sticking to your routine, you know it will go eventually. :)

K x
 
OMG . I had the ruuuudest hairdresser today. It's really knocked my confidence and got me quite upset.

I was feeling really good as I got into a size 14 dress in fat face and a size 16 denim jacket was too big. Over the moon! I mean, the dress was vile, but it was still fitting me.So I walked in to my appointment happy and ready to get sorted (honestly, a good head of hair makes all the difference ). I sat down. Talking about cuts - I like choppy layers to frame my face . And she pauses and says...' you have a really round chubby face so I would be careful with layers because you can't afford to add to that really'. Gobsmacked. I felt awful. I have been on top of the world and I just hit the ground again with a hell of a bump. She then started talking at me about how she lost 12 kilos and I should think about it too, and it made such a difference to her face.....and I'm sat there like, I've lost 23lbs and worked my ass off and walked past pizza so you can tell me I have a fat face? I mean....wow. Female solidarity there. Leaving I was quiet and sad and slunk away feeling awful. How much do I need to lose for it to start showing? To stop the comments and unsolicited advice? Will I ever get to a stage where I can go to a hairdressers and not live in fear of them commenting on my faCE and telling me I need to lose weight because if the answer is no, I will head straight to the local Mexican and eat deep fried everything.

Incase you hadn't caught I'm quite down about this. Its knocked my motivation massively and honestly I'm sat here thinking 'shake or pizza'. And I'm trying so hard not to let her win.

:-(

Nx
 
I am sure you looked absolutely fantastic in the size 14 (!!) dress, don't let some COW put you off. She doesn't know the journey you're on and hasn't seen you before. I don't understand why she felt she had the right to comment on someone's weight - it's completely inappropriate. Maybe she was giving general advice on haircuts for face shapes - but it came out COMPLETELY wrong. If you want that layered hair, then it's your right to try it and experiment without anyone's comments or advice.

If anything you've actually lost 11kg as well, so you've matched her loss and will totally blow her out of the water when you're at the end. If it happens again, tell them where to go. Honestly. You've come such a long way and it's time to put people who have the audacity to comment on someone else without being even asked for an opinion, in their place. These knocks of confidence will come, because people are obnoxious and insensitive and will always find something to pick at. Remember you're working so hard to change and I hope you find the confidence to start feeling proud at your achievement so far. Just f* them all tbh, you're doing this for you, not for them. That pizza would only serve to say that they've won. They don't deserve to. You're an amazing lady Nadia, you are stronger than this.

(((hugs)))
 
That sounds really tough. I'm assuming she has lost a customer!!! I guess my only thought would be that it's a journey...we're not there yet. And you can take great delight in going back in and telling her how she made you feel once you reach your target and look even more fabulous than you do now! You may not feel it, but you are. xxx
 
Thankyou guys :) reading your words really helped remind me why I'm doing this. I didn't give in to the pizza - it was a near run thing I had the order loaded on the app and everything, but managed to put it down and walk away. My waist and bank account are better for it. But o nearly have in for that quick comfort fix of the carby emotional hug. Times like those really do hammer in how unhealthy my food relationship is. I mean, it wouldve done no good at all.

Minerva, I hope revision and exams are going well and you aren't too stressed out. Make sure you take some time to relax! You are so right though, people always find things to pick at and say badly, even if it is a cack handed approach to giving advice. Thank you so much for your much needed words of advice and hugs :) .

Wiggly - Damn straight she lost a customer! I'm not even going to go back and show her when I lose it all (though it is tempting! ). She just isn't worth it. But yes, many more steps on the journey yet to walk. We can do it!

I'm 4lbs off 2 stone. Damn right I'm fabulous, thanks for reminding me! I reckon another 2 weeks and ill nail it. Then mini target done and only another 1st7lbs till 14st! I can do it....I know I can with such fabulous people to talk to! Xx
 
Well....that hairdresser can do one! Another 4lbs off tonight! That's 27 lbs in total, one more 1lb and it's 2 whole stone. I'm so happy! Goes to show if you stick it and ignore the haters you can do anything you want. Admittedly I'm rounding the numbers but it's close enough to make no difference.

A rather productive week all round! Registered with a teaching sup ply agency who are also trying to get me into a full time post. So hopefully I will start accruing holiday pennies son! Lots of friends round this weekend but I'm working n a coffee shop till 8pm so I should be able to avoid the worst of the excesses. Good time.

Hope you are all well!

Nadia x

Start weight : 17st7.8
Loss: 27 lbs
Current weight : 15st 9
 
I'm glad you're feeling much more positive again Nadia :) YES. The Hairdresser can go shove it :p You are doing so amazingly well, you are indeed *fabulous*! Well done on another amazing 4lbs this week!! :D :D :D I'm so pleased for you, genuinely, you've kicked that stupid comment in the teeth and really thought about how it made you feel and how to tackle it in a positive and constructive way. That is sometimes the hardest thing to do!

Yay for registering for teaching supply agency as well, I really hope you get to have a chance to do what you are passionate about soon!

I hope you'll have a great weekend with your friends!

x
 
Thanks Minerva - I always love logging on to see you have replied! Always such wise words. I am so looking forward to being back doing what I love, and this time I will be able to be so much better at it! I can't wait - 2 interviews this week, and tomorrows is for an amazing school so fingers crossed. It's a bit of a commute each way, about 35 minutes on a bus and 15 minutes of walking, but I view it as extra working time, and its not really that bad. Could be London commuter times!

Excellent weekend, much merriment and laughter and general silliness all round. I got hit on by a couple of guys (woot!) which hasn't happened in soooo long. Felt great ! I also ordered some clothes from New Look and ordered everything in a 14. I thought I was being over optimistic when I ordered them, and after I had the 'shipped' notification I felt like I had really, really messed up. Nearly cancelled it in fact! But I didn't, kind of figured I would fit into them in a few weeks. It arrived and everything fitted! Like gloves! No stretching or straining to get anything on, just slipped on. It was all jersey based stuff, so I have to take that into account, but even size 14 in a jersey fabric wouldn't have fit me before; everything was 18, sometimes a 16. I feel amazing. I just cant get over it. If anyone wants to see what I bought, these were the main two items: http://www.newlook.com/shop/womens/...back-maxi-dress-_379967209?productFind=search , and http://www.newlook.com/shop/womens/...nt-pencil-skirt-_379129249?productFind=search . I also bought two longline tank tops in black to wear with it. I didn't realise how baggy my clothes had got on me till I put these on. They actually showed my waist off and made me look slimmer, rather than the baggier black dresses and things I had been wearing which just had that lovely tent effect! Honestly, I never thought I would be wearing a size 14 again, let alone anything else. It feels like it's in reach now though!

I think TOTM is due on, so not a big loss this week is expected..but just 1lb will be 2stone on the nose. So, fingers crossed!

Also, has anyone any good website reccomendations for underwired tankinis or swimming cossies? I am in need of one, and all the lovely ones in the shop have no support or not enough to keep the girls in their assigned seats. One of the perils of big boobs is they do attain sentience and do their own thing....

Nadia x
 
I'm glad you had a good weekend with the added bonus of some flirts (always such a confidence boost)! It must be such an amazing feeling to have the 14's fit perfectly. :D Your choices are stunning, I would love to see a picture of them on! I had a sneaky look around the site and am thinking of ordering some black dresses, the temptation! D:

On TOTM weeks I definitely lose less, but then the week after it catches up, so bear with it - as I know you are :) Unfortunately I can't really comment too much on swimwear as I haven't been brave enough to go swimming in over 10 years, but when I was browsing Simply Be yesterday, I saw they had some beautiful pieces there - maybe when I get closer to 11st I'll order something and brave the swimming pool - that is my next big challenge...
 
I will attach a picture later! It's a quick one this week as I have a tres busy day today and tomorrow.

Found time to weigh in though with my lovely Consultant. Another 1lb off - so thats 2st in total and 1st 7lb to my mini target. I am super chuffed!

Till later

Nx
 
Back
Top