I've been flagging

Discussion in 'WeMITTS (We Mean It This Time)' started by Champess, 10 October 2006 Social URL.

  1. Champess

    Champess Skinny Soon ?!

    Start Weight:
    22st1lb
    Current Weight:
    21st0lb
    Goal Weight:
    18st0lb
    Lost(%):
    1st1lb(4.85%)
    Diet:
    Slim & Save
    Hi folks

    I've been flagging this past week and starting to feel rotten about myself and life in general.

    After a nice long run of strictly SSing I ate. and ate and ate for the last 4 or five days.

    My son (who is just 16) decided to leave home and go and live with his dad back in July.

    That in itself is no big deal but..........his dad lives in the USA. I didn't really agree with the move and thought he should wait until he was 18 and had finished college here.
    But rather than have him hold it against me for all eternity I decided to let him go.

    To cut a long story short, his dad did absolutly nothing to help sort out the move and so he doesn't yet have residency and can't start college until that is settled (probably not until the new year) so he is basically dossing around doing nothing every day while his dad and stepmom are at work.

    He emailed me the other day (at 3 in the morning for him) asking me to get his doctor here to email his medical records to him for an appointment the next day. He said his dad was asleep in the other room and it would be quicker if I did it over here.

    After lots of tooing and froing the doctors agreed to let me pick up hard copies and charged me £10. I went the same night and collected them and emailed my son to tell him and ask him how he wanted me to get them to him.

    He promptly went to the coast for the weekend and so I couldn't get any answer. When I got into work first thing after the weekend there was an email sent to work telling me he didn't need them now as he had sorted it out himself!!!!!

    He seems to have turned his back on me and didn't even apologise for missing my birthday even though he was reminded about it and it was pointed out to him (by his step dad here) that he had upset me.

    He knew how I felt about him going. I brought him up as a single mother from the age of 3 months after his dad left us. His dad took no interest in him for 14 years and then bam he suddenly wants him to go live with him. My son has talked about little else for the last two years. My ex never even had a conversation with me about him going. Just left if for my son to talk to me.

    I feel so betrayed. I know I shouldn't as he is only a kid and teenagers will be teenagers but i just feel why the heck should I bother to remember his birthday and email him every day with news and bits of chit chat. I feel like just saying well if you want to live over there good luck to you and leaving it until he contacts me (but I know that is petty).

    His dad regularly hit me about and treated me very badly over the 10 years we were together. Now he has even taken my only son away from me!

    So far today I have had two tetras and about 3 pints of water. I am trying hard to get back to it but I feel so down!
     
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  3. dizzy-n-mizzy

    dizzy-n-mizzy Not dieting ATM!

    Diet:
    Together we lost 8 stone on CD.
    Good Luck with getting back on track. Don't let your sons father's behaviour ruin your diet too. You know you can do it!

    Your son will definitely realise all you have done for him eventually lets hope it's sooner rather than later.

    I'm guessing your probably pretty worried about him too which can't help.

    I can't advise as I have no teenagers or ex husbands but hope I can help support you on your diet over the coming weeks.
     
  4. mrs tweedy

    mrs tweedy Regular Member

    Diet:
    cambridge
    Oh hunny, I feel so bad for you, but you know what you have to remember you brought your son up and did a good job and you have to trust that once he stops being a selfish teenager (which all teenagers are, I shudder when i think how I treated my poor parents when I was a kid) he will realise how much you did for him and what a huge sacrifice it was for you to let him go, also leopards never change their spots so I'll bet that in a short while your ex will probably show his true colours and your son will be able to see just who was the better parent (not wanting to sound petty - but really he will)!!!
    You just take care of YOU for a few days, pamper yourself and if you want to give emailing him a miss for a few days then do so, he's a big boy it wont be the end of the world if you don't bother for a while, and maybe he will realise that it's his turn to take the initiative, if he's old enough to move half way across the world then he's old enough to realise that his actions or inactions affect other people too, so don't you worry love, you remember that you have done absolutely nothing wrong and your ex is an inconsiderate ass!!! Hope you feel a bit better soon sweetheart xx
     
  5. bigbluefurrymonster

    bigbluefurrymonster Full Member

    Sounds like things are tough! You are doing really well to have lost the amount that you have! I know that when our worlds are shaken by events we tend to eat to comfort those sores... allow us to ignore the pain!

    I can't really imagine how you feel... but I empathise and understand how difficult you must be finding it! Well done for coming on here to get some advice... we're al her to help eachother through this phase of our lives... We will celebrate the good times... and help by listening to you and offering our support through the bad!

    Welld one for letting him go.... that must have been so tough! There is no book on parenting... and you have done all you can for your son! Remember that!

    So... now it's time to look after number one! Think how proud he would be to see what you have acheived! :)

    and think how different you will feel once you have acheived your personal goals!

    Good luck Champess... give yourself a break! ;)
     
  6. IreneH

    IreneH Gold Member

    Diet:
    WW
    You have given your son the best start in life. Now you'll just have to sit back and see what happens. So pleased you're putting yourself first and getting on with the ss
    Irene xx
     
  7. Wobbly

    Wobbly Full Member

    What a time of it!
    Maybe my brothers expereince might help? My little bro went through a similar kind of phase - I think it might be a bit of a boy thing, that they want to be around their Dad's at a certain age. My Dad was also a bit of a git to my Mum before they split (and after they split), and the longer my brother was around my dad, then the more of this side he began to see. Whilst my brother still gets on with my dad now, and stays in the same town etc (instead of where he spent most of his growing up years), he is much more balanced, now he knows that whilst our dad might seem great from miles away, up close he has all the faults that he didn't and couldn't see before. He has a good relationship with both our parents now, and appricates what my mum went through when were little. I would echo what everyone else had said, and ensure you look after yourself, and don't spend all your time worrying about him, but also would say ensure you keep the lines of communication open. Maybe rather than e-mailing every day, maybe once a week, just giving him encouragment, and letting him know that you're there for him.

    As he gets a bit older no doubt he will appricate much more what you did for him when he was growing up, and also just you generally as his mum! As he is 16 he probably hasn't really considered how his actions impact you (I know me and most my friends at 16 were little gits), but he will in time.

    At 16 he's both too old and too young to tell his Mum that he misses her and loves her!

    Good luck hon.
     
  8. Champess

    Champess Skinny Soon ?!

    Start Weight:
    22st1lb
    Current Weight:
    21st0lb
    Goal Weight:
    18st0lb
    Lost(%):
    1st1lb(4.85%)
    Diet:
    Slim & Save
    Thanks people - I have managed to shelve most of my feelings for the moment and am concentrating on SSing again.

    All your replies really help as I don't feel I have anyone around me who understands

    THANKS
     
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