Jo's Journey - 175lbs to happiness...

By an absolute miracle....I have managed to maintain.

Since last Thursday (as I weighed in a day early) I have had burger and chips from Eds Diner including one of their delish shakes, a pub lunch, a Chinese takeaway and an Indian takeaway, plus birthday cake plus alcohol. I have NO idea how I've maintained...I completely deserved a gain. So I am really happy with my maintain.
 
Love Darcy's onesie! I'm getting one this year and I'm going to live in it all over Christmas! Well done on your maintain hun that is really good. Hope all is ok and that you have a lovely weekend :)
 
Love Darcy's onesie! I'm getting one this year and I'm going to live in it all over Christmas! Well done on your maintain hun that is really good. Hope all is ok and that you have a lovely weekend :)

I do too I've bought her another one since then will post the pic after this message she looks sooo cute in it lol and I want one sooooooo bad. When I was packing exes stuff up I held onto his monkey onesie thinking I'll wear it but can't pluck up the courage to try it on as he's very slim and last thing I need right now is a downer...I used to be able to fit in his pj bottoms so maybe I can fit in the onesie lol. Thanks so happy about my maintain although my Auntie who does SW also said it may catch up with me this week and I gain this week...hope not I'm so close to that next stone bracket I can smell it...I will have it in the next 2 weeks if it kills me.
 
Hello Guys,

Not much to update since last time...well there is but I will try and keep it short and sweet.

My dad wore me down and I agreed to let my ex see Darcy at my parents house...he was there 45 minutes when he started slagging me off to Darcy so I kicked him out he then left the property swearing and screaming his head off slamming doors and gates etc. Then the nasty texts started. I sat and thought about things and I decided that I had to change my approach so I am currently killing him with kindness. I gave him back his bearded dragon and he gave me back DVDs his family had borrowed from me. I discussed belongings with him and he said he only wants his tools and his gaming stuff...so keeping that message for mediation...as to me that is him relinquishing his claim on anything else in the house. Yesterday he asked if he could take Darcy for an hour to see his dad so I politely said no I can't guarantee yours or your dads sobriety and we're not in a position where I can come up with her and we can be in the same room...so he kicked off and started threatening me...so now Darcy is off school because I'm terrified he's going to go pick Darcy up while she's at school and the school have said if he turns up then they have to hand Darcy over to him because of his parental rights...I honestly don't know what to do. I can't keep her off school indefinitely but I can't take her to school if I fear for her safety and don't the trust school. I considered moving her schools on Friday because of another incident at the school but my surname is so rare...that if a friend of his had kids in the same school and heard her surname they'd tell one of the family to find out who's kid it is so other than move out of the area there's not much I can do to protect my child and the people that should be helping me are telling me he has all the rights under the sun.

The incident at school on Friday...omg was I mad...I screamed at the head teacher and the deputy head and told them the whole staff were incompetent idiots lol. Ok so I asked ex if he wanted a school photo (which I didn't have to do) he did and he paid me for it. I took the order in. The school is aware of the situation between me and ex, they're aware Darcys in my sole custody, that I take her and collect her from school and that I brought in the payment. The dickhead rang the school and told them he'd paid for one of the photos and asked them to call him when they arrived so he could collect it himself...the school agreed. They didn't think for a second to ring me to confirm this information they just took his word for it over the phone, not in even person it could have been a complete stranger than rang up...so I kind of lost my mind...I tore them a new one I said it was disgusting that they had taken the word of somebody over the phone and didn't feel a need to confirm it even though I was the one who brought in the payment, what if I'd paid for both photos? What would they have done then after they'd given him a photo? There was no proof on that order form he'd paid for anything so I was disgusted and they print their own Christmas cards and I've put in an order for some but didn't bother asking him because he doesn't do cards and I said to them what if he found out about that order what would he just have to ring up and say they're his and you'll just give them to him. And the head replied saying you should have told us that one was for him and one for you...and I said no I shouldn't have the arrangement was I get them and pass it on...there's no reason for him to ring you...as he was told a day or so before he would get his when they arrived. Oh I'm getting mad just thinking about it now...how dumb is that school.

Took Darcy to the fair on Saturday she's always been scared of rides so this is the first year I've been able to take her it was crap...I don't know whether it's always been like that but I saw it through kids eyes because I haven't been in 13 years or more...but she loved it and that's all that matters.

My dog popped her stitches on Saturday so I had to make an emergency rush to the vets and they glued her back together and have told me to make sure she doesn't jump...honestly? My dog has springs not legs...I can't stop her jumping its like asking me to move heaven and earth...she's hopefully having the rest of her stitches out on Friday so nearly there lol.

SW related I seem to be back on plan...I am struggling to keep up with my food diary so I may have exceeded all my syns and I don't know about it...going to do it in a minute and double check. I have made a meal plan so I'm sorted for the rest of the week.

I'm struggling a little financially as I only get one of my benefits weekly and I thought it should have been paid today and it hasn't been so I rang them up and apparently I should have had 2 payments but for whatever reason my bank has been rejecting them, I hate my bank...so now I've got to wait till tomorrow to see if I get them but atm I don't have any money so I can't do a proper food shop cos the money I do have has to be saved for my direct debits. Ex failed to pay me maintenance on Friday claiming he didn't get paid, he's been off sick now for 3 weeks so on Friday he'll only be getting sick pay which last time I was on it 4 years ago now was £125 a week so he'll owe me £86 so I can't see me getting 2 weeks worth on Friday either if I get any at all...and same goes for next week because if he goes back to work this week he doesn't get paid for this weeks work for 2 weeks so he'll still only get sick pay next week...so a little financially frustrated.

I went cyber shopping for Christmas for Darcy...when did things get so expensive? I don't know if anyone's seen the Asda advert with the wooden toys I wanted to buy her the pay shop/café because that's what we're into atm it seems a bargain at £35 what they fail to tell you is nothing is included you have to buy the food, the cash register, the trolley etc all separately and altogether it costs £62 I don't begrudge it her but if she doesn't play with it which is usually the case it's a lot of money to waste...so I don't know what to do about Christmas.

Would help if I had some money lol

That's it moaning session over...I love having a moan on here it makes me feel better.
 
Moan as much as you like, we're here to listen :)
 
Sorry for delay in posting had a rough weekend but I've been on the scales about half a dozen times this morning and each time the readings been different. I've lost 1lb, then 2lb then 1/2lb...so I'm going to settle for 1lb this week I may have lost less I may have lost more but I've decided I've lost 1lb...which I'm satisfied with and expected as I got away with murder last week. I WILL be on plan 100% this week because I'm 3lb off my 3.5st award and 3.5lb off my new stone bracket...I want my 4st for Xmas so determined now to get 3.5st and new stone bracket within the next 2 weeks.

I will be back later to do an entry so speak later people x
 
Well done Jo :D
 
I did it!! Woohoo!! 3.5lbs off this week which means 3.5st award and new stone bracket...after a few rough weeks this is what I needed, I needed a SW boost and now I'm more determined than ever to reach my Christmas goal of 4st. I also gained my Gold Body Magic Award yesterday

Hi guys

I apologies about being AWOL. As you can see from up above I haven't abandoned SW I am just struggling to keep up on here. Last week my cat/dog duno which chewed through my phone line that goes into the desktop so I have been stranded on my phone since then as my laptop had died...but sort of got it fixed now...obviously I'm here but its going so slow and keeps crashing but hopefully I will be back on a more regular basis now. Not much to update no reconciliation between me and the husband so still separated and its now been a month. He is trying to be friendly with me but I'm just not there yet...I know I said I was miserable in my marriage but I wasn't about to walk away so this is still all a shock to me and I can't move on and pretend we were never a couple. We're going through stages one day hes nice as pie the next hes being a dick. I am just trying to keep it civil because I am honestly fed up of fighting. He made his decision and he left...I am going to mourn my marriage because I'm not someone who takes my vows lightly and I hate that I am going to be divorced I never thought I'd be a divorcee. My finances are...****ed basically they're telling me I can get by on £100 a week...now the government might think this is enough but it isn't I am going to have to go into a debt management thing because my debts a week are half the money they expect me to live on that's without food, direct debits etc...so I am not happy but I have to do what is right for me and Darcy. I moved Darcy into my bedroom yesterday as I cant afford to heat the whole house through winter so we're living in 2 rooms the living room and the bedroom...trying to save money where I can and this is obviously going to effect my SW because I can't buy the best cuts of meat, I can't afford fresh fruit and veg etc so we'll see but I am determined to do it. I wish this had happened a year from now then I wouldn't be in such a **** place because I'd be able to work full time...but I currently have no child care for Darcy and she's only half days at school and right now I'd just be going to work to pay for child care so it's a matter of persevering till May when hopefully I'll get my bosses job when she retires or next September when Darcy goes full time at school.

Drama, drama, drama but I am honestly fine...I am still sad about everything but its been a month and we're still standing and the house is a lot happier...we'll survive!!

Hope everyone's ok.
 
Well done Jo for your weight loss, i can definitely tell you are somehow happier even though you are in a very difficult situation, i send you lots of love and strength x
 
HI jo

I have been awal and totally off the wagon for about 2 months so just caught up on your diary. Sorry to hear about your marriage, its hard but you gotta take one day at a time and just live for now rather than thinking what could have been.

I totally sympathise with the finances as my hubbys mum died last month and hes now on ssp so ive had to increase my hours at work and with bills, rent and debts we currently have £0 to llive on. I find that to help me along i buy the savoury rices, noodles etc from aldi which help when i cant afford to buy anything nice for myself.

Hows darcy doing in school now? I hope things get easier for you make sure that the gov are actually giving you all that you are enetitled to, they can be crafty some times by not informing you. I go on benefits calcualtors to see if its correct.

Sarah
 
Hi everyone sorry about lack of updates after promising I would be back on a more regular basis but I have been ill this week...its one thing after another lol. Anyway things are pretty much the same apart from I've cut my ex off completely got fed up of the mixed messages so I decided to just put an end to it and changed my number so since doing that things have been better. Darcy and I went on a ghost walk which was rubbish but she enjoyed it...we're carving our pumpkin and going trick or treating today and we're supposed to be going to a Halloween party tomorrow but depends how I am tomorrow... Also supposed to be going to my future sister in laws birthday dinner I haven't eaten since Saturday due to being I'll and as I am right now I don't think I'll be making her dinner tomorrow doubtful about the party too which is a shame as I've been looking forward to it.

Anyway SW update 4lbs off this week due to illness which means I'm 2.5lbs off my 4st award.

I will try to update and reply to you all.
 
Hope you feel better soon hun. Congrats on the loss you are going to have that next award in no time.

Hope you and Darcy have a lovely Halloween xx
 
Hi? Is anybody out there??

I come with my tail between my legs to beg for everyone's forgiveness. I know I came on here and said I was back but and you won't believe this the laptop I got repaired...broke. So I was back to just my phone for internet connection and long posts like this are just too much work on a mobile. So I do apologise I honestly did intend to be back but *touch wood* and fingers crossed I have had a new phone line connected after the cats chewed through it and I am now back on the desktop which is sooooo much easier.

Quick personal update myself and Darcy are doing brilliant, we're looking forward to Christmas and I have all my Christmas activities with her planned. I have 95% of my Christmas shopping done now you may be sat there with jaw open as you think this is good but trust me I am so far behind this year. I usually have mine bought and wrapped by now and cards bought and written out ready for distribution on December 1st so I really am struggling to get it all done. I know I have 5/6 weeks OMG see I don't even know how long lol...but I get really busy at Christmas as I have to do a load of Christmas events at work...being my first school Christmas I don't know what I'm going to have thrown at me from school for Darcy. I do all shopping, wrapping and baking for ALL my family which is why I like to get all mine done asap because my family do and have shopped right up to Christmas Eve before. What would they do without me? LoL. I decided to have a radical makeover so I went to the hairdressers had a cut and colour. Now this time last year my hair was touching the top of my trousers it now just barely touches my chin lol...I got some new glasses very Alan Carresque...Then I decided to have a pamper and got my eyebrows waxed and tinted, my lip waxed...my first time and OMG it hurt lol...so shoulders up I'm a new woman lol. I can't remember if I've mentioned this so apologies for repetition; Darcy has started dance class. She's been going for about 5/6 weeks now and seems to be loving it, I'm now trying to get her some swimming lessons and martial arts lessons...I don't want to be a pushy mum but my mum and dad never gave me these opportunities not cos they're mean but because we couldn't afford it so I want to make sure I give her the opportunities whether she sticks with them or not. I do have a pic so I will post that after this post.

Now I know you're all probably wondering about my marital situation so bear with me. At last report things were beyond bad and we went to mediation and it panned out exactly as I thought it would he spat his dummy out because he didn't get his own way. He thought the mediator was going to work as a magic genie and grant his wishes but he soon realised the ball was in my court and he wasn't going to get sweet FA without playing nice with me. The mediation was at 10am by 3pm that day he was begging to come see me at my house which hadn't been done since he left we'd always met at my Mums but I agreed and had my mum with me at my house and all went well etc, this continued for a few nights then he asked me if I'd consider getting back with him and he reeled off a list of conditions for him returning basically saying he'll do what he wants when he wants and **** me and **** Darcy so I said 'do one'. He came back the next day completely different and I'll admit sober...and he agreed to all my hypothetical terms and conditions...he asked that we 'date' for a week to see if we can be civil and to see if after that week if we both wanted the same thing...long story short...he came back home on Sunday but things are far from good and as of this morning I asked him to leave. He didn't turn up until 8pm on Sunday so he got to spend no time with Darcy and he basically came in and fell asleep, at the crack of dawn the next day he left to take his brother to court (he was arrested for domestic violence on his on/off girlfriend) he was gone for 6 hours, he then came home and promised Darcy he would take her to dance class and bailed on her 20 minutes before we left. Then yesterday he drove home 40 miles from work went to his Dads (of which he has an excuse to go to every day) and his brother was sobbing because his on/off girlfriend is in a women's refuge with nowhere to go (save your tissues she's a smack head who's had her kids taken off her) so he asked Phil to take him 40 miles back to where he'd just come from to go pick her up and until I completely freaked out he was going to do it. Then today he gave me his bank card to get a mini statement as he's having problems with his banking. He told me on Friday when he got paid that he only had enough in his bank for his car insurance and petrol for the next day, then he told me his dad loaned him money for petrol and made his money up for his car insurance by £30. The mini statement revealed today that he'd been lying to me there was nothing wrong with his account and he'd drawn all the money out over the weekend, when I questioned him about it he initially lied and said he hadn't I said I have physical proof that you've done it, he then said someone must have cloned his card (and didn't clear the account? Don't think so) and then after telling him to **** off back to Daddy's he said he had borrowed money off someone and had to pay them back and didn't tell me because he wanted to avoid an argument. Please don't think bad of me I'm not a gold digger I don't want his money but he knows I have nothing to my name and he's watched me struggle while he had his whole wage packet to piss away over the weekend how selfish is he? Sod ya child, sod putting food on the table...as long as he's got his cans to keep him company **** everyone else. Then before he came back and serves him right and I'm sooooooooooooo happy it happened...the numpty got pulled over and done for drink driving...I hope they make an example of him...I hope they take his license and give him a custodial sentence. He and his entire family deserve everything they get. So yeah there...as of this moment in time...I have asked him to leave the property.

SW update...I have been so bad for 3 weeks...and every Friday morning I keep saying that's it back on track. I don't know what's wrong with me...I think with combination of HIM and a stomach bug I had for 6 weeks that I just stopped caring. I don't know what to do to give myself that well needed kick up the jacksy. I still want to do SW I still want my 4.5st for Christmas but I just can't get my head in the game. So I have done damage limitation for this week but totally expecting a gain on Friday but I swear to you and to God and to Santa...lol...that I will be 100% back on plan from Friday morning and I am going to have a 100% week. I really need a good loss to kick start me...if that fails then group it is...lol

How are you all anyway??
 
1416409232683.jpg - Darcy in her dance uniform.
 
Hi Jo, glad to hear from you.
I am sorry things are bad with your husband (or ex really) at the moment, he definitely sounds like a problematic type of person, i just hope he never hurts you or your little girl.
You sound like a super strong woman and you must be so proud of yourself and well done for all the pampering, you deserve it.
Things with me are good, i can complain, i wish i lose weight faster but slowly getting there, and still trying to have a baby will be a year soon but hey let's not lose hope, have a nice weekend xx
 
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