Jo's success story

[Jo1989]

Day 16 and 17 done! Been finding it really really easy since the end of day 14, as I'm through the emotional and physical hunger completely. Think I've lost slightly less weight this week than I would have liked, but that's because its my totm. I know my body will catch up next week though!

Feeling very good indeed.

 

[bettiesrevenge]

That's is amazing!!!! So encouraging to hear. I'm having to confess that last night I made meatballs and ended up eating 3! Which was ok but then found myself unconsciously eating blimmin garlic bread. This morning I've woken up with horrible indigestion. So won't be repeating that in a hurry.

On the green tea now!!!

 

[Sophiesophs]

You're doing so well Jo! Keep going! Xxx

 

[Jo1989]

Oh bettiesrevenge (I really should find out your name!) don't worry about it, you're in a really unusual situation away from home and that would be challenging for everyone. Hope today is a better day for you.

 

[bettiesrevenge]

It's natalie Jo!

I know but I just looked at the mirror and I really felt this pang of disgust. It brought me to tears. I don't want to do these things any more. I don't want to seek solace in food. This morning I've had eggs. In an attempt at at SS+ day.

I just can't keep doing this.

 

[Jo1989]

You're not disgusting, you're really not, but I think by feeling that way, and not allowing yourself to stick to SS, you're punishing yourself.

I don't think food itself is the issue in most cases, its why we do it and maybe you need to be really clear on why you do it before you can stop? No one gets fat because they just love food!

For me, because I'd done the plan successfully before, all I was focused on is why I couldn't just do it again and pinned that on wanting food, when it really wasn't that. What it was was that when I lost all the weight I felt really uncomfortable and uneasy and felt that if that if my weight was now right, something else would go wrong. So I started eating to drown out those feelings.

So now I know thinking about the plan in terms of my weight leads to self sabotage, I'm thinking of it as a goal to achieve each day that makes me feel in control and stops me feeling guilty I've failed again. The food is irrelevant for me, its the feelings. On this plan, we don't physically need the food, so each time I want something I stop to identify why and realise how irrational it is. And I don't want to be irrational anymore.

Thinking about it as losing however much weight is overwhelming, but having a day goal to work to does work because there's no physical craving or emotion that can't wait for a day, by which time it normally disappears.

 

[Nikie]

You are so right Jo......I did this plan before and lost a lot a weight. I've gained it back and it's taken me nearly two years to sort my ass out and try again.

But instead of trying to figure out where I went wrong before, I keep comparing this time to my results last time! And it isn't helping! Instead of being chuffed that I had lost 16lbs by my week three weigh in I was disappointed that I wasn't as far as before. In all reality I shouldn't be disappointed if it comes off slightly slower. It's still faster than any other diet.

If I was cheating and not losing then I would be justifed in being disappointed with myself, but I'm not cheating. I'm having chicken and spinach a couple of times a week, but that is to try and help myself when it comes to working up the steps.

I'm full of cold and this is the first time I've been feeling 'hungry' for something other than a shake. But it isn't worth it. I am having chicken breast and spinach tonight so will have a lovely bubble bath and read my book to distract myself and will save myself for tonight!

We can do this!

 

[Jo1989]

How you doing today Nikie? Hope you're not feeling too awful!

 

[Nikie]

I'm properly bunged up and feeling crappy with my cold! About to weigh in though so fingers crossed it'll be alright! x

 

[Jo1989]

How'd it go Nikie?

 

[Nikie]

I am really pleased Jo. Its a bit of added motivation which I really needed whilst I'm feeling a bit crappy! I'm the lowest weight I've been since October last year (when I was 12.9 for a week before going back up to 13 stone!)

 

[Jo1989]

Day 18 and 19 down now. Flipping cold today, but apart from that, enjoying the plan Feel clearer and happier and in control and I'm so glad I stuck at it and powered through the first couple of weeks.

It'd be a lie to say the plan isn't challenging at times, especially the first fortnight, but I was starting to feel so frustrated and unhappy, restarting stopped being a choice and was something I had to do.

Only 3lbs down this week, when before I've lost 5/6lbs at this stage, but I know I bloat a lot at totm, and I trust the plan - so as long as I stay 100% my loss will even out next week. Hoping by the end of this week I'll be almost half way to goal.

Watching supersize vs superskinny as all that talk of food somehow makes me feel better about abstaining, no idea why!

Hope to be updating day 21 having completed 3 weeks successfully at 100%

 

[Jo1989]

Waaaahh huge tray of chocolate cake right next to my head! Well 3 feet away on our team 'cake shelf'! I wouldn't normally even eat cake, so don't know why it's so annoying, but it does look so yummy. Still, day 20, why would I ruin it for 500 calories of butter and sugar and complete crap that will knock me out of ketosis and make me feel like utter poo?!

 

[Jo1989]

Oh and now there's a whole table of cakes and sweets in the kitchen for someone's birthday! Why why why??

 

[Jo1989]

Ok, today is going to be a challenge.. I'm going to London for the morning for a meeting, and for some reason, days I travel seem to be a massive issue for me. Something about train station food?! Anyway, everytime I've attempted a restart I seem to have been off to London in the first week and its defeated me.

However, today is day 21 and I'm firmly in ketosis. I had my shake before I left, have chicken bites in my bag and if I eat them at 1ish it'll be the same gap as usual, and then I'm back on the train home at 2ish so no disturbance to my 2 evening shakes- normally at 730 and 1030, but if I have them a bit early to compensate for starting an hour earlier than normal its not tragic!

Got an overnight in London in a few weeks and two long days either side which I'm a bit concerned about, but ill get over today before I worry about that!

 

[Nikie]

Jo you are so strong and motivated I'm confident you'll be fine! But I do know what you mean.....I am concerned about my trip to London on Saturday and my sushi class! I am very determined but it's going to be taking me out of the routine I have become accustomed to over the last month and that's what worries me more.....

My CWP consultant has told me to have the fish and not rice which is great in theory but will I be so strong when it's in front of me?!

 

[Jo1989]

Yeah it's the break from routine that's scary. I try and think about whether how I feel in that minute when I give in will be worth it when I'm on a restart next morning having to go into ketosis again and the answer is always no! Food will still be there in 9weeks and won't come with a side of guilt!

I think you just need to remember on Saturday that no one is depriving you, this is a decision you made for yourself, and that feeling of control and success is worth so much more than not just the rice, but the temptation and the feelings that creep in once you've broken plan.

 

[Jo1989]

Got through today and really proud of myself for overcoming one of the sorts of days that makes me really nervous.

Day 21 done, a whole three weeks! Sneaked a peek at the scales and looks like my totm bloat is dropping off (though its hard to be sure on an evening weigh in) so hopefully on my next proper weigh in I'll see a good drop from last week.

Feeling good, have the odd half hour of feeling deprived and really wanting to eat, but that passes and the majority of the time I'm happy to be on plan. Done a quarter of my twelve weeks and I hope the next 3 will fly by too.

 

[Jo1989]

So I'm now on day 25, and haven't updated on here as there hasn't really been a great deal to say, as I'm still 100%, not wavering and glad to be on plan. Back in my size 12 skinny jeans (though they are tight!) and now am only about 8lbs off a BMI of 25. All positive!

And yet, this weekend, I'm feeling a bit fed up! Not struggling as such, and no intention of coming off plan, mainly because I know if I come off before goal I won't have cracked it psychologically, but just generally wanting to be able to go out for a nice meal and be a normal eater.

Went for a long drive today around Wiltshire with my bf, and it was lovely, but normally I'd polish off a good 4 grab bags of crisps in a few hours in the car, and while I didn't want that, he stopped at the garage, ate two packaged sandwiches (which I don't like, but its still food I could smell!) and a pasty thing, which made me want food even though I wasn't hungry.

He also bought two big bags of sweets. They haven't been opened, but I'm sure he'll open them tonight and only eat half of them, which means half full bags of sweets in the flat, which I've been trying to avoid happening as its unnecessary temptation!

On top of that, he then stopped at an ice cream place, bought a huge pot and took TWENTY MINUTES to eat the flipping thing in the car.

I'm not hungry, and I don't want to eat, and I don't even like the stuff he's eaten today, but I'm irritated with myself that my relationship with food is so unhealthy I'm needing to do such an extreme plan to lose weight. Because, lets face it, it is extreme, but if I could manage to eat in moderation and exercise, my weight wouldn't be an issue in the first place!

He ate a lot today, but has no weight issue, because he eats lots if he's hungry and not so much if he's not. He enjoys a giant burger king meal, but doesn't feel the need to follow it with two giant bags of crisps and chocolate. I want to be like that, and thats what made me grumpy.

I think I need to accept I need to change my life after hitting goal. That doesn't mean depriving myself, and it doesn't mean only eating green things and exercising for hours a day, but it does mean that for most of the week, I need to eat proper meals, not junk food and takeaways. In the same way I'm taking this plan one day at a time, I think I need to do the same after plan and set goals in the same way as 4 shakes and 5 litres of water is my current daily goal.

I want to be able to have days where I eat stupid amounts of crap, but for it not to matter because I eat normally the rest of the time, and I'm frightened of that because I don't know how to do that. I guess the next 8 weeks will be the time for me to work it out.

 

[Jo1989]

So, first step of the plan done for me!

I'm seeing my time on SS as three steps - the first is 25 days, the second and third 28 days each. My first step goal is a BMI of 26, my second a BMI of 24 and my third a BMI of 22. I've broken it down into steps in my head, because if I think of the plan as 12 weeks, it seems like a very very long time, but 28 days at a time is achievable.

So, I've achieved my first goal and completed my first step I've also dropped a dress size and hope to do that again on stage 2 and stage 3.

Day 1 today of my second step, and I've been grumpy all day, but having achieved my first goal, updating my stats and being a third of the way through has cheered me up a bit. The time has passed relatively quickly, and the way I'm seeing it, the time will pass whether I'm eating or not, and I'd rather it passed with me feeling I'm achieving something, rather than telling myself 'tomorrow' every day.

Typing this has made me feel more positive, and may have lifted me out of my grump, so I'll leave it here, but pleased with my achievement so far.