Jo's Weight Loss Diary

[JoRoger]

Well, I don't really know where to start! Ok, I'm 24 and really overweight, I'm only 5' 1" so every extra pound shows, and every extra inch feels and looks terrible. Since leaving school 8 years ago, I have lost three stone and put it back on again more times than I can remember. I first went to SW when I was 17 and lost 21lbs, which soon went on again, plus more, after I stopped. At my wedding I was my heaviest. Looking back at the photos, I cry - why didn't I try to lose anything? My dress was beautiful but I wasn't :sigh: I then got pregnant and lost some whilst pregnant through wanting to eat sensibly and obviously not drinking. I can pinpoint every single weight gain to periods in my life when I drank quite heavily, including when I was 15/16. I've always been the biggest girl in my class, office or group - right now I'm a comfortable 16, but really it is only my petite frame that stops me bulging over into 18's. I'm pretty busty which makes me look a lot bigger, and makes me feel a lot more uncomfortable and frumpy.

In the last year I have put on a stone, and it is the most depressing weight gain so far - after having my baby I lost all my baby weight plus an extra stone due to having an emergency c-section and barely eating for 6 months afterwards. I have now put that stone back on again and I feel dreadful, not only that but my section scar is sore and uncomfortable due to my huge belly.

I have done WW at least three times, lost possibly a max of 10lbs each time then gone on to put it all back on again. What makes it even worse is when nothing fits!

I have now completely, totally had enough. My marriage sadly fell apart and I have been with my wonderful OH for a year now. I do feel happy with everything else in my life apart from my weight and appearance.

So, here I am back at Slimming World. I am officially starting my plan on Thursday, as tomorrow I am in London all day and seeing Dirty Dancing in the evening. Also, Thursday is a significant day for me - sadly, on bonfire night 21 years ago, my little baby brother died I feel it is significant that I am trying to re-start my life from that point. I also don't want to start the new decade being this size and weight.

I currently weigh around 13st 5lbs, which is absolutely disgusting for my small height and frame. However, I know that I can do this, and I want it SO badly. My OH and I both have gym memberships and really want to throw ourselves into going. He is being as supportive as he can although I have started and stopped so many different diets and cut-downs since we have been together that he is understandably sceptical.

Anyway, I hope that this tells you a little bit about myself, and I look forward to sharing my diary and my journey with you all, I have to say that I have never seen such a lovely forum, and am very happy to have found such lovely people to help me.

Will be back on Thursday with a report on my first day on SW for 7 years!

 

[JoRoger]

Day 1 on SW has gone very well, although I'm currently cooking my dinner (peppers stuffed with savoury rice, mushroom and tomato puree) and the peppers have fallen over so bit of a bad end to a good day! Had a gym workout as well, though I have a re-occuring trapped nerve/vein problem in my left leg which has resurfaced, probably from tramping round London yesterday. Went to see Dirty Dancing which was excellent, had a brilliant day.

Feeling very positive that I CAN DO THIS!!! xx

 

[Littleslimmingbee]

Congratulations on taking your first steps to the slimmer you hon. what an emotional rollercoaster you have been on. You should be so proud. Sending you lots of hugs and positive thoughts to you for what must be a very difficult week, but i admire you for taking this week and using it for positive.

also, be proud of yourself. You may weigh 13 stone somthing, but i am 5'2, and i was 14 stone 8.5 lbs when i joined. So be proud of yourself for doing it now

i always look back when i was in school, primary school that is.. and when i found out i was weighing 9 stone already. God why didnt i do it then, but i didn't care. and then throughout my teens i'd think i want to lose wieght, and didnt.. and i think of the day i joined slimmingworld and wieghed in at almost 15 stone, and couldnt understand why i hadn't done anything sooner, but all that matters is that you are doing it NOW. and you are doing it for you..


*hugs*


keep us updated xxxxxxxxxx

 

[Laddiesboy]

Hi JoRoger,

I think it was a great idea to get your London trip and Dirty Dancing out of the way before starting back on SW, and it is very poignant that yesterday is the anniversary you referred to - from now on it will also be the anniversary of the date you got your life back

It is very impressive that you go to the gym, but make sure you don't overdo it! (lol I sound like my own dad)

Keep up the good work

 

[JoRoger]

Thanks everyone - Thursday was pretty hard :-( even harder was back in August when it would have been his 21st birthday. But despite the sadness on Thursday it didn't stop me being really determined to do well with SW. Yesterday was another good 100% day, today I am doing a red day and my lovely OH is making pizza chicken, from the SW site, with a jacket and cheese as my HEXB and HEXA - am slowly getting used to the healthy extras!

Fern - when I was at secondary school I was always a lot bigger than everyone else, and my friend's nan told me that at age 16 I would suddenly lose lots of weight naturally - I'm still waiting!!! I wish i could wake up a few inches taller, not only would clothes fit better but I'd look so much slimmer :-( oh well, I suppose that is a pretty impossible wish so I'll just stick to the goals that I can achieve. Can't wait for the chicken thing, OH is getting it ready now and it smells heavenly! Been a bit shaky as to what to have for lunch on a red day, seeing as I'm saving my HEXB as a jacket with dinner, but in the end I just had a banana, yoghurt, snack a jacks, green tea and that filled me up. Am too used to being on green days and reaching for a mugshot or some kind of carbs. My OH says he can already see/feel a difference in me, and I definitely do feel a lot less bloated and uncomfortable. Looking forward to seeing the results when I weigh in on Thursday, which seems miles away!

Dave I definitely don't overdo it at the gym, you need not worry on that score - in fact I need to do a whole lot more, I go three/four times a week but need to sort out my routine so I can also do a class during the week, which is really difficult with a two year old in tow, he's now started a playgroup which makes life a bit easier.

I hope we all have good weekends, I used to find the weekends the hardest but my OH has been really supportive especially with the cooking, very impressed with him so far!

 

[Kat27]

Hi Jo

You sound like you're doing really well already, and definately putting me to shame with all that exercise! I am yet to move my rather large expanse of a rear end either off the sofa or this computer chair to actually do some exercise! lol!

Your oh sounds like he's being really helpful too bless him! Let us know how you get in on thursday (my weigh in day too) Good Luck!!!! x

 

[shrinkingannie]

You seem to be doing really well! Your OH is so good to be so supportive!

 

[JoRoger]

The weekend went quite well, I'm very happy to report that the pizza chicken recipe is absolutely lovely, and apparently easy to cook, next time though I will take fuller advantage of having a red day and put some fat-removed bacon with it, plus pepperoni (not sure of the syns though, will check) and some pineapple, mmm....

Wasn't overly confident with being red the whole weekend through, though I wrote everything down and was definitely within syns, it didn't really feel like it. Woke up this morning with a lot more energy and feel ever so slightly smaller and more flexible, that horrible 'back shelf' (my OH's loving words!) seems to be getting a bit smaller. Need to do my measurements today. Firmly back on green days today! OH is a meat lover and seeing as he does the cooking at weekends I've agreed that I will do red days on a Saturday and Sunday, and seeing as he makes the most yummy homemade wholemeal bread I am already looking forward to my bacon sandwiches next weekend!

Aiming to lose 2lbs this week and any more will be a brilliant bonus.

 

[JoRoger]

Feel like I've turned a corner today....

Hi all, just wanted to post that I've had yet another good day, have stuck to plan 100%, OH is currently making a very yummy-smelling SW chilli, have saved my 2nd HEX for RF cheese on the top, lovely! Just got in from the gym and got that lovely post-gym glowy feeling.

Anyway the main reason that I'm putting something in my diary is because two re-occuring problems once again rose their ugly heads today, one being my dad and his not including me or my OH & DS in his xmas plans, despite including my bro and sis, and my OH's absolute ***** of an ex-wife!

But, the key moment for me was when I'd finished crying and opening up and talking it all through I realised that for the first time in a long time, if ever, I had not turned to food to make it feel better. No comfort eating, no blowing the diet or falling off the wagon, yes I did cry like a baby, but then I am quite an emotional person. But the most important thing to me is that I didn't even want to be bad food wise, and added to that when my OH came home for lunch he had a time out chocolate bar, which is one of my favourites, and I looked at it and felt...nothing. Absolutely nothing. We have a cupboard full of crisps and chocolate and I don't want either.

Really feel like something has changed within me this time round on SW, I can't believe that I don't want to comfort eat anymore, especially in winter!

Just wanted to share that with everyone!!

 

[Kat27]

Well done for not eating all the chocolate after having a bad day! Seems you have found all the willpower u need!

 

[JoRoger]

Thanks Kat, still feeling really :cry::cry:today, don't know why I let these things get to me. Now got a big pile of ironing to tackle still, I can't complain too much, I haven't bothered to do it for nearly three years!! The last things I ironed were my DS's babygrows when he was first born, and he'll be three in Jan. So I think I've probably got away with it for long enough!

Hope everyone is well today, ooh first WI tomorrow!

 

[Kat27]

You sound just like me! Wait til he starts school, you can get non iron uniforms now, its great!

Good luck tomorrow and let us know how you get on!

 

[JoRoger]

WI result & Mixed Day

Hi everyone, well I had my first WI yesterday, and I'm very pleased to report that I've lost 4lbs! Really pleased with that, can certainly feel a big difference in all areas, physically, mentally and emotionally.

However, as my thread title suggests, things were very much up and down yesterday, was feeling down and upset, tired, cold and wet, had been tramping about in the rain and on buses all day, didn't even really feel like celebrating my weight loss, didn't even tell my OH how I'd got on until really late last night!

We're having so many problems with his complete c0w of an ex-wife at the moment, it really got to me yesterday and we spent so much time arguing about it when he got in from work last night that we didn't realise the time, anyway it got to about eight-ish and we still hadn't had anything to eat so unfortunately I found myself agreeing to a chinese :-( I don't like too much of the really fried stuff so I suppose what I had was reasonably ok, but obviously way over my syns.

I did know what I was doing though, I felt so miserable and fed up that I just agreed and didn't really feel that guilty afterwards - with me though it is the next day that it hits me, although I've been good so far, and am just about to crack on with the housework. My little shadow is not with me today, my mum and sister have him for most of the day which is lovely, so i'm going to throw myself into loads of housework and then a book to distract myself from down-thoughts and food. I hate it when I'm like this as I get so angry with myself for letting things get in the way, but yesterday really was such a bad day, I was out from 9am to almost 7pm trekking backwards and forwards on buses, to playgroup, home, playgroup, town, tesco's, home, my mum's, all in the rain and cold!

Next year I will have to bite the bullet and pass my driving test its getting stupid now!!

 

[Sticky]

Well done on the loss Jo!!! 4lbs is a great start eh?!

Sorry to hear things at home weren't great last night. My sister's OH has an ev*l ex too and I have seen what they go through at times so I am sending hugs to you! Hopefully things will resolve self in time.

We can eb Thursday blow-out buddies! I was bad (as you saw in my diary) but as we both seem to agree, there was a choice we made and we knew we were being bad. But we both know there is no point in being too hard on self and just sort it out.

Keep it up hun and get the licence sorted! I was 24 when I passed (I didn't even bother learning until then!) and it's the best thing I ever done! I'll be past my 2 years probation in April next year without incident (touches wood) which is cool. I love driving and highly recommend! Though maybe not tomorrow at 7am when taking OH through to the city to meet his mates...we share a car and it's that or be stranded in the village all day lol.

xxx

 

[JoRoger]

You are right it is just not worth worrying about, that said though I do need to really crack on and be extra strict with everything - loads more water and green tea, more exercise etc, weighing everything out, planning meals; the second week is always the hardest I find.

I like to think that I am pretty much the model ex-wife (though I may find it a little hard if my ex does find someone, not from the point of view of him, no way, but because of my DS, don't really want to share him!). But I certainly won't be anything like how my OH's ex carries on, it is just beyond a joke! There are two things I'm determined not to be: the b1tch ex-wife and the b1tch mother-in-law, as I've had first hand experience of both and it sure ain't pretty to be on the receiving end!

I definitely want to pass before I'm 25, and be a lot slimmer for my 25th birthday, am kind of thinking that I want a party but not sure yet, depends on money, but I didn't have much of a 21st as I was pregnant, and had a flat 18th as my nan had recently died. So I think I'm overdue a good party! A lot of things to aim for in the coming year.

Well I still haven't done any housework! Really need to get a move on so I can get my reward - duvet, hot water bottle and book! Only on a child-free day! And to think I was going to go to the gym.....

 

[Kat27]

Well done of losing 4lbs, that's fantastic, especially as you had a bit of a dodgey week!

My OH has an awful ex wife too - oh the joys! Although Im spared pretty much all of it as I dont think she knows we're together - would make it even worse for him as we dated before they married years ago and then met up after he found me on facebook one night and it went from there, she wouldnt be impressed, but Im so glad facebook was invented now! lol! My ex had a horrific ex partner and I got emails, abusive calls, you name it I got it - funny how it all ended when I told her I worked for the police and would be passing her emails etc on to some of my colleagues if she didnt behave herself, she was the model ex after that surprisingly but thank god I dont have her to deal with anymore she was enough to drive you to drink! (and I barely drink!)

I didnt pass my driving test until I was 20, had absolutely no interest what so ever in driving until I had my daughter and then found myself miles away from everyone I knew and couldnt put up with it any longer - especially on those awful rainy days like you had yesterday when you have to go out but wouldnt if you could help it. It was enough to make me start driving so I bought my little car in the March as an incentive, started lessons in April and passed my test first time in October and other than car troubles (you wouldnt believe the thing was brand new when I bought it!) I havent looked back since and Ive been driving for 8 years now. Think it sounds like you have all the incentive you need to pass that test after yesterday!

Sounds like you have a great day planned, I had a similar day today, although thats because I woke up with a migraine. My mu often picks my daughter up from school on a wednesday for me and she has a sleepover and I love it, no rushing back from work to pick her up from school, no homework, no whens dinner ready - just peace and quiet, I wouldnt mind I dont even go out, usually just have a long bath and read a book without being interupted - love it! lol!

Anyway, good luck for this week and dont worry about the chinese, its only your second week and you may even end up losing about 4lb again! I remember when I first started I lost 7lbs in the week I managed to drink a bottle of vodka (as I said I dont drink so you can imagine what state I was in!) and a massive great big meat feast pizza and tons of chcolate so god knows how I still managed to lose all that weight!!!

 

[JoRoger]

Hello everyone am back after a three day migraine, now just a headache lingering in the background, have managed to lose another two pounds but I'm not sure that is a 'true' weight loss as I've hardly been eating, just been sleeping for the past three days, as much as you can with a 2yr old anyway!

Kat - that is so weird that you met your ex on facebook and got back together, as I did exactly the same thing! My OH and I were together before he went off and got with HER biggest mistake ever I say! She's still causing problems but I actually was unfortunate enough to see her the other day and boy has she put on some weight! ha ha, needless to say that made me feel a lot better - I never laugh at weight gain as I know how horrible it is, unless of course it is someone that I just cannot stand!

That made me feel so much better about myself I can tell you, and has spurred me on to be absolutely perfect again now that I'm feeling reasonably better.

Hope everyone has had a good week?! I missed here a lot but just had to sleep!

 

[Kat27]

Glad you're feeling better now, I get awful migraines too, luckily my little one is 7 now so I can pretty much leave her to her own devices while I go lay in a darkened room for an hour or so - she even brings me a cold flannel to put on my head bless her as I do that to her when she's ill, so cute!

I lost 2lb too this week, so Im happy with that as it's half a stone off in 2 weeks so not bad going - want 4 stone off in total within the next 2 weeks so thats another 4lbs, which hopefully I can do by then. Then it will just be a case of not eating everything I'm planning too cook for christmas for various people and I'll be fine! lol!

Ha ha glad his ex isnt looking like posh spice - I hate it when that happens! Ive never seen my oh's ex, but my friends told me she looks like a russian shotputter! I've always told them not to be so mean, but obviously you secretly hope they dont look like some supermodel dont u!

Anyway good luck this week x

 

[smoomoo]

Good luck hunny I hope sw works for you. Fab diary to read xx

 

[JoRoger]

Good luck hunny I hope sw works for you. Fab diary to read xx

Thankyou! Am hoping to have a really good wknd SW-wise but am still not eating that much, headache still looming in the background