Just joined a class but dont think i'll go back !

[charleybabes]

well have just been to a class this evening.. but i dont think i'll go back next week!!

it just didnt feel like a motivated class.. no one had lost anything bar a half pound here or there
no one spoke to me other than the new girl who was starting aswell and when she went i was sat like a lemon on my own!!..

the consultant just left me stood on my own after id been weighed ..didnt ask if wanted to write down a target weight or anything.. i had to ask the lady who was manning the scales if i could have a target..

oh it just didnt feel like it was my kinda thing.. i think id be better saving myself the £4.95 a week..putting it in a pot and treating myself at the end of a few months and just carry on coming on here for advice!!

 

[charleybabes]

well thats the thing.. ive heard on here about lovely classes with lots of ideas and motivation given.. here there was nothing like that..i just thought of all the things that i could be doing while i was sat listening to some woman say how she was going to get a massive chinese when she got in and what sweets she was going to be tucking into ..

i just felt like the consultant wasnt that bothered about new members or that bothered about giving any advice full stop!

have been pretty shocked about how much weight i have put on so im pretty motivated about losing that now..!

 

[RubyRed80]

To tell you the truth, my class feels the same. I've been going for 6 weeks now, and no one talks to me... very cliquey. Only the lady who weighs me in says hello and gives me some advice.

I've stopped staying to IT and rather just get weighed and come here for support and advice.

 

[charleybabes]

yes thats how i felt that it was dead cliquey..no one even said hello when i sat down, and i just felt a bit stupid..im not a shy person at all but i felt really uncomfortable..
it might be the mix of peoples at the group but its the same consultant for all the slimming world classes in my area and i wasnt that taken with her either so its not like i could go somwere else and it all be different!!..
at least ive got the books and i can get access online now.. will that stop if i dont go for a certain time

 

[RubyRed80]

yes thats how i felt that it was dead cliquey..no one even said hello when i sat down, and i just felt a bit stupid..im not a shy person at all but i felt really uncomfortable..
it might be the mix of peoples at the group but its the same consultant for all the slimming world classes in my area and i wasnt that taken with her either so its not like i could go somwere else and it all be different!!..
at least ive got the books and i can get access online now.. will that stop if i dont go for a certain time

I think it does hun... about 4 weeks I think. x

 

[stivesliz]

I get sooooo cross when I read stuff like this! I am lucky to belong to a great class where the consultant really does care and everyone is motivated.

I think it makes such a huge difference staying to group after WI but obviously you need to find a class you're happy with to do this.

Hope you find somewhere good x

 

[PatchworkPuss]

Give it a few weeks before making up your mind. Often your first week is not representative of the class and it can take bit of time before you become a known face. Don't wait for people to talk to you, ask people how they got on, what sort of week they have had and their tips for losing weight. People love talking about themselves. And to be fair, it's not your consultant's place to tell you what your target is. SW don't talk about your targets right off the bat - its not their policy. It's up to the individual to decide what their target is and you don've have to set a target until you are ready

 

[charleybabes]

Give it a few weeks before making up your mind. Often your first week is not representative of the class and it can take bit of time before you become a known face. Don't wait for people to talk to you, ask people how they got on, what sort of week they have had and their tips for losing weight. People love talking about themselves. And to be fair, it's not your consultant's place to tell you what your target is. SW don't talk about your targets right off the bat - its not their policy. It's up to the individual to decide what their target is and you don've have to set a target until you are ready

yeah i understand that its not their place to ask about targets etc but it was like i wasnt even stood there i got weighed came off the scales.. and she didnt even ask me anything just moved onto somone else.. whats the point in that.. i can do that myself at the chemists!!..

 

[Sealmylips]

I've attended many different groups over the years and i find it really strange how the support and a feel of a group differs from one to another! But then i suppose that is what you get from a self employed style weightloss business!

I really miss my last consultant and group since moving! I triedn the group in my local village and it was a male consultant - he BORED the hell out of me, never spoke to meand literaly had 10 people stay to image therapy and none of them spoke to each other realy! I could tell each person what he would say to them regardless of a loss or gain week in week out! PLUS i find it rather annoying that his piccy of when he became a consultant is atleast 8 stone lighter than he is now - not inspiring at all! I left after my 3rd week.

I've since started a new group - BUT i've heard members here slate the consultant comparing them to another in the area, i find her humour dry and funny, quite like mine, HOWEVER hse's not at all supportive and can be quite the opposite - think Marjorie Dawes on Little Britain - and again she is very overweight!

It really is hit and miss - i've had some AMAZING consultants over the years - but i always lose interest, leave group and gain weight when i have a group and consultant that don't inspire me! I find if you aren't a large personality you can get lost and i'm surprised how often a consultant forgets peoples names! It often seems an effort to get yourself noticed - good job for me i'm rather loud when i want to be! And i hate that when i join a group becaus ei've done it before they whizz through the food optimising book and plan, and don't even get to know their new members - it really is such a shame!

THIS time though i am determined to stay to Image Therapy and to stay at group or else i will NOT get where i want to be!

It's a shame as the PLAN really does work! xxx GOOD LUCK!

 

[jaylou]

Give it time!!!!!

It does make me a bit cross when I read things about groups being cliquey etc - perhaps some of the people have been going a long time and know each other really well? Perhaps groups of friends go together? I have been going to my group for years, some people have been going 8 years plus, they know everyone and they have their "close friends". Yes we sit in the same places each week, yes we may appear cliquey but it doesn't mean that we are - we are just good friends.

Okay, so maybe no-one lost much weight this week, doesn't mean they are not motivated. If it's anything like my group, half the members don't stay for Image Therapy, other than the WI lady (me) no-one has any idea of what they have lost.

Just give it time, you will get to know people from staying to Image Therapy.
Oh, as for a target, at my group we rarely ask people for a target straight away - too much pressure and all that. We tend to wait until they are ready to ask for it, or once the weight has started to come off. People with a lot of weight to lose tend to set interim targets of a stone at a time, we'd never ask them for a final target.

You need to be very very determined to do it on your own, but some people manage this really well.

 

[Sealmylips]

Give it time!!!!!

It does make me a bit cross when I read things about groups being cliquey etc - perhaps some of the people have been going a long time and know each other really well? Perhaps groups of friends go together? I have been going to my group for years, some people have been going 8 years plus, they know everyone and they have their "close friends". Yes we sit in the same places each week, yes we may appear cliquey but it doesn't mean that we are - we are just good friends.

Okay, so maybe no-one lost much weight this week, doesn't mean they are not motivated. If it's anything like my group, half the members don't stay for Image Therapy, other than the WI lady (me) no-one has any idea of what they have lost.

Just give it time, you will get to know people from staying to Image Therapy.
Oh, as for a target, at my group we rarely ask people for a target straight away - too much pressure and all that. We tend to wait until they are ready to ask for it, or once the weight has started to come off. People with a lot of weight to lose tend to set interim targets of a stone at a time, we'd never ask them for a final target.

You need to be very very determined to do it on your own, but some people manage this really well.

Just a thought - if you've been going a 'long time' and sit in your normal group of 'friends' would you not think of making 'newbies' at ease, approaching them and welcoming them? Like you say it annoys you when people say 'groups' are cliquey? But as you say you have 'close groups of friends'and sit in the same places each week......

just a simple hello, coffee or tea is this way, my name is and i've been part of this group for x amount of ...... want to sit over here............is a bonuc for a newbie rather than

i'll get weighed, sit with miriam and do my usual, oh look theres a newbie all on their own,

 

[AnnaFaraday]

If you are new this week, there will be another person (maybe more than one) next week. They won't be part of a group or a clique, so talk to them. Then you will have your own group!

 

[jaylou]

Just a thought - if you've been going a 'long time' and sit in your normal group of 'friends' would you not think of making 'newbies' at ease, approaching them and welcoming them? Like you say it annoys you when people say 'groups' are cliquey? But as you say you have 'close groups of friends'and sit in the same places each week......

just a simple hello, coffee or tea is this way, my name is and i've been part of this group for x amount of ...... want to sit over here............is a bonuc for a newbie rather than

i'll get weighed, sit with miriam and do my usual, oh look theres a newbie all on their own,

I was offering my opinion to the OP. I wasn't opening myself up for abuse!

Funnily enough, NO, I don't think of doing that. I actually do the weighing in at my group, so I get to meet all members on a personal basis every single week.

 

[kingleds]

Just a thought - if you've been going a 'long time' and sit in your normal group of 'friends' would you not think of making 'newbies' at ease, approaching them and welcoming them? Like you say it annoys you when people say 'groups' are cliquey? But as you say you have 'close groups of friends'and sit in the same places each week......

just a simple hello, coffee or tea is this way, my name is and i've been part of this group for x amount of ...... want to sit over here............is a bonuc for a newbie rather than

i'll get weighed, sit with miriam and do my usual, oh look theres a newbie all on their own,

WOW!

Charleybabes. I agree that you should maybe try and give it a few more goes before trying to go its alone ,but equally, if you continue to feel that you are being excluded, and don't find your consultant to be very motivating I urge you to find out who the Team Developer is for your region and let them know about it. The job of a Team Developer is to help the consultants do their job well. They usually go to groups every few months and will see how a consultant runs a group, and talk to members for feedback, but lets face it, you are unlikely to complain if you stay for Image Therapy. If you didn't like the consultant or group you'd be unlikely to stay for IT. Therefore the Team Developers don't necesarily get a very balanced view of a consultant- unless you say something!

If no one ever complains, then how can a consultant know they are doing things wrong?

 

[kerryathome]

I think if you are a newbie whether to SW or to a group it can look a bit cliquey, however I always go to group on my own and over time have made friends who I sit with but if I go to a different group because of shifts then i make the effort to sit next to someone and make polite small talk rather than wait for someone else to make the first move.

I go for my own weight loss and motivation, if I can help someone else then thats great I do get a buzz out of that and for me its all about supporting each other, a group is only as good as its members, the consultant is just a facilitator.

I went to a brand new group with a brand new consultant last night, the friend I was supposed to go with didn't go in the end because the consultant came from the group she used to go to and didn't get much from the consultant, however when I bought my scan bran off the consultant my friend didn't like she was really helpful and friendly and told me how to make scotch eggs from scan bran, the point of all that rambling was to say, what works for one isn't always what works for another and IMO you get out of group what you put into it xx

 

[Ally89]

6 of one, half a dozen of the other comes to mind. if they don't speak to you first, why don't you speak to them? You say your not shy, so make the effort and go and sit next to the group chatting away and randomly join in. I on the other hand wouldn't do that, i would sit away from the group on my own (i'm really quiet round people i don't know and don't do social situations at all), but I wouldn't expect them to come over and talk to me, they know me as much as I know them.

As for motivation...you shouldn't need to rely on a group of people who you won't even attempt to talk too motivate you, if you want to lose weight you should be able to find the motivation within yourself not hope some unknown person can keep you going.

The consultant...we all go through our struggles, so they've put the weight back on, have you even though that they are probably doing slimming world just as much as you are, because they struggle with there weight just as much as 75% of the rest of the world population does?

If you really don't like the group that much, have you though about going it alone and joining online?

 

[Sealmylips]

I was offering my opinion to the OP. I wasn't opening myself up for abuse!

Funnily enough, NO, I don't think of doing that. I actually do the weighing in at my group, so I get to meet all members on a personal basis every single week.

Well i must apologise that you feel 'abused' as that wasn't my intention at all! It's just you did mention that it makes you cross when people say that groups are cliquey. To a new member groups can seem quite daunting, it's a hell of a thing for most people to take those through steps through the door and there is nothing better than a few people acknowledging them.

I too used to do the weigh in at my previous group and it really was a great way to get to know alot of the members. I really looked forward to my weekly weigh in more so because of that aswell.

Anyway the apology is there...sorry

Charleybabes - i really think you should go a few more times and see how it goes! Good Luck x x

 

[d14]

I had my 3rd weigh-in today and nobody still talks to me. I don't mind though. Most of the people at my group are 35+ (with the majority being 45+) and i'm 21..so I understand they would rather talk to people they are familiar with. Plus I have been told i'm not very approachable at first by other people lol. I don't mind though, it'd be nice if they talked to me but at the end of the day i'm there to lose weight and get healthy not make friends.

 

[Baggiesles]

I think it's hard if you have taken the decision to attend a group for the first time and felt apprehensive and then are underwhelmed by the reception. I was lucky to attend my first WW meeting at the same time as another woman who was new so we teamed up.
There are new people attending my group all the time so I would give it a bit longer. Sometimes our leader is busy and can't give everyone time but it's usually because she's dealing with new people.
Don't let this put you off.

 

[kingleds]

Well i must apologise that you feel 'abused' as that wasn't my intention at all!

I absolutely sure its not your intention to upset anyone. Its probably alot to do with putting words like 'abused' in 'those things that look like commas at the top' (was never very good at english grammar). I'm sure its not meant to come over as sarcastic or arsey - but to me it does! It could just be me though ,so don't take my word for that.

Its amazing how differently people read the same thing on the internet in such different ways though.

D14 - Regardless of your age people should be speaking to you by now - take the inititive and talk to them if it bothers you. I rembmer just butting into a conversation that was happening in front of me when I had been at my group a few weeks - they were talking about what booze they could drink within their syns. I was all over that convo

I have swapped groups and noticed that the new group is far more friendly than the one I joined originally. I have put this down to people having more in common with me. The first group I went to was mainly older ladies and stay at home mums with young kids - the new group is more professional women, so conversations are more relevant to my lifestyle - all about how to survive at a conference, what to take for lunch when you work in London etc, rather than how can you stop yourself eating the food off your kids plates, or how to cope at your wekely coffee morning (I am generalising I know!). Its worth thinking about whether a group meeting at a different time of day is going to be full of more people like you.