Writing this to let you know what's been happening and as a cathartic exercise to get it all off my chest!
As many of you know I've been struggling for a while.. felt better on Fri / sat as i had a confidence / esteem boost having been offered a job.. great..
Then of course normality hit back in and I had to admit to myself that I had binged and vomited every night for a week.. did I even admit to you that we got a Chinese takeaway on Fri to celebrate my success.. we got it with the sole purpose of vomiting it afterwards.. how sad is THAT!!!??
Crisis point arrived and I did some research on the net for help.. I emailed an eating problem group and spoke to the counsellor on the phone on Sunday. I'd also talked to my LLC in the week and they both said I need help with my problem before it escalates..
I ended up rowing with DH as he says I make an issue out of everything.. but I think it has more to do with the money and the way it is affecting him too.. (feel bad that he had never binged and vomited either until this week) Only just spoken again this avo..
Yesterday i'd just had enough.. enough of the packs, of feeling a failure, of wanting something so bad that I purged to maintain it.. so I ate.. I decided to just eat protein and did so.. not much all day I hasten to add .. I didnt need much but I DIDN'T BINGE for the first time in over a week.. I also went to bed at 1930 exhausted from it all.. ( TOTM arrived this morning too so that was prob why)
Anyway.. I made an appointment to see my GP today whom is referring me to see an eating disorder clinic counsellor asap.. She was very supportive and reassuring that I had taken a very important and brave step..
So.. today.. so far I've just had pack 3.. am feeling full but am locked away in the study whilst DH feeds the kids.. its around this time and later I usually succumb but I so want to be 100% today.. I'm also wondering if PMT had anything to do with last week..
I'll let you know how I get on tonight and keep you posted with the counsellor etc.
And Lighterlife? well I still want to lose this flab.. who doesn't but will do as my counsellor suggests if it is logical to me.. hoping I can find a way to continue anyway.. If my spec. counselling costs I shall switch to CD..
It does make me wonder how many of us that get to this stage of VLCD are here because we have deep seated problems that manifest as overeating in one form or another and whether we should all have specialist counselling.. what do you think?
How do those of you whom have MADE IT? were you tempted>? Is it just part and package of abstention?
Sorry to go on...
As many of you know I've been struggling for a while.. felt better on Fri / sat as i had a confidence / esteem boost having been offered a job.. great..
Then of course normality hit back in and I had to admit to myself that I had binged and vomited every night for a week.. did I even admit to you that we got a Chinese takeaway on Fri to celebrate my success.. we got it with the sole purpose of vomiting it afterwards.. how sad is THAT!!!??
Crisis point arrived and I did some research on the net for help.. I emailed an eating problem group and spoke to the counsellor on the phone on Sunday. I'd also talked to my LLC in the week and they both said I need help with my problem before it escalates..
I ended up rowing with DH as he says I make an issue out of everything.. but I think it has more to do with the money and the way it is affecting him too.. (feel bad that he had never binged and vomited either until this week) Only just spoken again this avo..
Yesterday i'd just had enough.. enough of the packs, of feeling a failure, of wanting something so bad that I purged to maintain it.. so I ate.. I decided to just eat protein and did so.. not much all day I hasten to add .. I didnt need much but I DIDN'T BINGE for the first time in over a week.. I also went to bed at 1930 exhausted from it all.. ( TOTM arrived this morning too so that was prob why)
Anyway.. I made an appointment to see my GP today whom is referring me to see an eating disorder clinic counsellor asap.. She was very supportive and reassuring that I had taken a very important and brave step..
So.. today.. so far I've just had pack 3.. am feeling full but am locked away in the study whilst DH feeds the kids.. its around this time and later I usually succumb but I so want to be 100% today.. I'm also wondering if PMT had anything to do with last week..
I'll let you know how I get on tonight and keep you posted with the counsellor etc.
And Lighterlife? well I still want to lose this flab.. who doesn't but will do as my counsellor suggests if it is logical to me.. hoping I can find a way to continue anyway.. If my spec. counselling costs I shall switch to CD..
It does make me wonder how many of us that get to this stage of VLCD are here because we have deep seated problems that manifest as overeating in one form or another and whether we should all have specialist counselling.. what do you think?
How do those of you whom have MADE IT? were you tempted>? Is it just part and package of abstention?
Sorry to go on...