Just thought this was funny

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by mandye, 8 February 2008 Social URL.

  1. mandye

    mandye Silver Member

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    Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up every two hours?
    If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?

    Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are flat?

    Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know there is not enough?

    Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?

    Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?

    Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?

    Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?

    Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

    Whose idea was it to put an "S" in the word "lisp"?

    What is the speed of darkness?

    Are there specially reserved parking spaces for "normal" people at the Special Olympics?

    If the temperature is zero outside today and it's going to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold will it be?

    If it's true that we are here to help others, what are the others doing here?

    Do married people live longer than single ones or does it only seem longer?

    Do you cry under water?

    How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?

    Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?

    Did you ever stop and wonder......

    Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these pink dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?"

    Who was the first person to say, "See that chicken there... I'm gonna eat the next thing that comes outta it's bum."

    Why do toasters always have a setting so high that could burn the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?

    Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?

    Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their bum when they ask where the bathroom is?

    Why does your Obstetrician, Gynaecologist leave the room when you get undressed if they are going to look up there anyway
    ?
    Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs
    !
    Can blind people see their dreams? Do they dream
    ??
    If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests? (This one kills me
    !!!!)
    If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from
    ?
    If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons
    ?
    Why do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?

    Stop singing and read on . . . . . . . .
    .
    Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?

    Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?

    Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster?
     
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  3. Summerskye

    Summerskye Gold Member

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    PMSL!!! :D:D:D


    And while I'm thinking about it ...

    Why is 'abbreviation' such a long word? :confused:

    And why does the word 'monosyllabic' have 5 SYLLABLES?!! :confused::confused:
     
  4. Kitteh

    Kitteh Resident geek

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    This made me laugh soooo much.. But the lift thing.. when i worked at the metro centre.. if you pressed it once.. the doors paused and then shut.. but if you pressed it twice.. they shut straight away..
    x
    x
     
  5. cora xxx

    cora xxx Full Member

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    lol, that was brilliant, a lot of things on there i would never have thought about like do blind people see their dreams, do they even dream.
    thank you for posting that, i did have a chuckle lol
    xxx
     
  6. Barb

    Barb Gold Member

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    Love it! Thanks!
     
  7. BIG BIRDY

    BIG BIRDY Silver Member

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    In Texas there are drive through banks. Yes really. And even more unnerving was the drive thru cashpoint machine with the buttons in BRAILLE.......:eek:
     
  8. rowanx2

    rowanx2 Losing the baby fat

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    I had to laugh at the remote control one as ours was about out of battery power, and its true you do push the buttons harder and even shake the remote - like thats going to make the batteries gain life???:p
     
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