Katycakes Won't Give Up...

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Katy - sorry you had a blip! i know what you mean about managing the binges though CD - I've done that loads even before CD by having just soup and salad. It's what we are supposed to do, i.e. self regulating, but it's all about degrees. Most people, if they've eaten too much eat slightly less the next day. The problem is we go to extremes and end up in a binge / starve cycle and that's where the danger is.

Looking back on my dieting years I found that I was most stable when I followed WW / calorie counting and CD. CD was easy in a way because food was out of the question but as soon as I started moving up the plan that struggle came back. On WW / calorie counting I could eat enough to not feel such a need to go over the top. Yes, I'd eat too much (like last night) but not so much that it could be counted as a binge.

I think emotional eating is the most common reason why women are overweight. Some of us simply like food too much but generally there's emotional eating in there somewhere as well.

You know I'm not sure it can be fixed. Controlled, yes, but not entirely fixed. Not without an awful lot of professional councelling and therapy - simply reading books won't "cure" us from emotional eating - it will just help us by giving us strategies to remain in control most of the time.

Maybe we are just perfectionists, expecting to find the answer that's simply not there. Maybe we are asking too much of ourselves and we should just aim to change our habits where we can but not expect to become normal eaters ever again. I'm just not sure it's possible for us to turn around completely and not worry about food. That's why I like Beck - it doesn't really talk so much about the why's - it's more around what strategies to use to manage through the tough times. So maybe it is supposed to be two steps forward and one step back for us and that's good enough - it might not feel like it and it might feel unfair, but if it is the reality then maybe we should accept it and get on with it (I still stamp my feet about the unfairness of it all on a daily basis! :rolleyes:)

Sorry I'm probably not making sense and I know I'm being completely depressing and probably not what you need at all at the moment :sigh:! We are a very grumpy household today (lack of sleep) and if I could I'd go back to bed and sleep the day away!

Anyway - I hope you have a good day today and don't despair (despite my doom and gloom message :eek:). You will get to your goal even if it takes longer than you had hoped for! We're nothing if not persistent! :D
 
@ Shanny, thank you chick. Please stay on track, I would hate, hate, hate my wobbles to unsettle anyone else. But yes, we do all go through the same feelings I think. Stay strong, think of that bikini and the cruise! You have done SO well, you're an inspiration.

@ Mel, on reflection have decided I would tick number 12 reason as well as 5 others... (eek). So you are right, just me in denial... (me? Ha!!!). Hovering around almost shifting a stone? Fall off wagon. Hovering around breaking into 11s? Fall off wagon. Break into 11s? Fall off wagon. Yep, something dodgy going on, but I just don't know WHY. What am I scared of?

xxx
 
@ Jess, cross-posted... awww!!! Thanks, a meercat hug just might be exactly what I need. Made me smile.

@ Alli... depressing? Doom? Er, no... totally, completely rings true. And in a weird way it's a relief to hear someone say it. I feel pretty unfixable right now! But it's not hopeless, it's just accepting that the weakness will always be there, and finding tactics to keep it in check. Yes, that's all I am hoping for really. I don't think I could do the therapy/ counselling route, for fear I'd totally unravel. Best keep the lid on that!

Yes, perfectionist, I hold my hand up. Control freak, too. And so, so painful to allow myself to be so out of control. Yet the over-control of CD now leads to binges, I know, the balance has tipped dangerously. CD which once took away anxiety about food now creates it, for me. Head well and truly messed up.

It's not fair, but as my Dad loved to say, 'life ISN'T fair,' anyway. So yes, acceptance. Control, kindness maybe. And learning that if you are doing something that isn't working, maybe change it and find something that does. Hence the moving up plans, and possibly over to SW, which would be my version of cal counting or WW. Hoping i'd feel satisfied enough to be able to do it.

I wish I could give you a hug, but it won't even let me 'rep' you... I am so grateful for the post though. I know it's the truth, feel it instinctively, and would rather have the truth, always, than not.

Thanks Alli.

xxx
 
Jess, brilliant post... thank you. You are very wise for one so young y'know! And you sound so totally focused now, I am so happy for you. I will get my zone back too, just taking it slowly... but I'll get there. Thanks for all the support & have a brilliant afternoon!

xxx
 
Seriously Jess, without the hormones I think CD would be a breeze sometimes... I am at that funny(!!!) time of life when hormones seem to be churning around 24/7. Urghhh.

xxx
 
Katy sorry you are having a tough time, but I know exactly how you feel, as does everyone on here. :grouphugg: Like you I could tick serveral of the types of emotional eaters.

I'm not doing cd at the moment as short on cash and finally ran out of shakes so just doing low carb at the moment. My biggest problem is snacking/picking I just can't seem to stop myself. I've been losing and gaining the same few lbs for weeks, but I'm not giving up, Jess has made some valuable comments - really struck a cord!
Stick at it Katy I know you acan do it 1000 plan seems like a great idea.
 
Jess, brilliant post... thank you. You are very wise for one so young y'know! And you sound so totally focused now, I am so happy for you. I will get my zone back too, just taking it slowly... but I'll get there. Thanks for all the support & have a brilliant afternoon!

xxx

Ditto, for me. Well said, Jess!

MM
 
So much good stuff has come up here today, lots to think about. And Alli's post about accepting also really hits home for me... feel I might be getting somewhere. If I can just put it into practice now!

Trisha, good luck with the low-carbing. I have a GI book from the library and plan to read it this week, feel that's the way forward for me too in the long run. I still need a bit of structure but CD might not be it any more.

Jess, that pic made me laugh! It's ME... (apart from the blonde hair!)

xxx
 
Quote .. it's just accepting that the weakness will always be there, and finding tactics to keep it in check. Yes, that's all I am hoping for really. I don't think I could do the therapy/ counselling route, for fear I'd totally unravel. Best keep the lid on that ...Quote

I agree with your first statement here, Katy, in that the weakness will always be there - just like alcoholics the tendency will always be there, and recognising the warning signs such as being overtired, stressed, totm, will aid in helping to combat the binges or blips but not to think that it will be something we can totally keep in check - 'cos we are human and noone is perfect.
As for the counselling - I couldn't help but think that your last remark was very telling - "best keep the lid on that" - shows you have a lot of past torment that is bursting to get out and totally unravelling is just what you need.
Believe me, when I had my counselling a few years ago, I sobbed my heart out every time I met the counsellor but at least I was able to talk about the things that had been bottled up for so long that were making me feel soo miserable.

Hope you son feel a lot better....:)
 
Just popping in to say Good Morning - hope you are feeling better this morning - I think I am but will know once I've done the "get the kids ready for school" test. If I can manage that without feeling like crying I'll be fine ;)

Hope you have a good Monday!
 
Oh Alli, we are as bad as each other. I bet it's b****y hormones. I have been up and awake since 4, feeling lousy, achey throat and blocked nose... but hey. I will live. Hope your day goes smoothly, put some happy music on and hug a child every time you feel like yelling. (It confuses them, if nothing else...)

Wishing you a pink day as opposed to a blue one. Or a warmly golden one, even.

@ Emmaline, not sure that was my meaning but can see why you would think so. I just fear that therapy will find weakness and sadness in all of us, and doesn't always put us back together too well once it has pulled us to pieces. I have seen it go wrong, I guess that's what I mean, but so glad if it has worked for you. Whatever my reasons, I don't think therapy is for me alas.

xxx
 
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Good morning Katy, here's to a good positive week, remember to be encouraging and kind to yourself, like you are to all of us on here. Hugs from me. :hug99:

I've been up since well before 6 this morning as my son had an upset tummy, he's gone back to sleep now, but might be off school today, l'll see what he's like when he wakes up.
 
Just saw your last post there, hope you feel better soon. Do you have the chance to go back to bed with a lemsip or something? Hope you feel a lot better as the day goes on.
 
I'm OK Dis, still hoping to head off the cold with industrial amounts of echinacea, and zinc/vit c once I've been to town later. Thanks for kind words, have a lovely day and hope your son wakes up feeling a bit brighter. It's horrid when they're ill.

xxx
 
Morning KC I can recommend zinc.. MM told me when I had my dreadful cold in the half term.
It finally went within days!

Here's to a positive start to the week x
 
DAY 61

Scales 12 st. Seeing CDC in an hour and know I will weigh more by then, have been drinking lots of herb tea. Ah well. I need to break it gently that I am working up the plans and off CD, unless 1000 magically finds a safe place for me to stay. I am NOT giving up, not ever, so don't panic - I just need to stop this awful binge/starve cycle and although I am scared to step away from CD I don't think it is helping me at the moment. I wish my CDC could talk about things like this. I feel like I am letting her down, but this is driving me nuts - something has to change.

Hope all of you are well and looking forward to a fab week. I am a bit under weather, trying to fight back a cold, not sure who is winning right now!

xxx
 
Morning Katy,

So sorry to hear that you are not feeling well. Hope all your dosing up makes you feel better very soon. So glad that the scales have dropped again for you.

xxxx
 
Morning Hun, sorry you are not feeling well today, this weather doesn't help doesn't, abs freezing despite the sun shining!
Hope your meeting with CDC goes well, don't feel like you are letting her down hun, this is about you only.
Hope you feel better soon
xxx
 
Thanks Lelly. She seemed to understand, but still wants to keep coming here and weighing me. I think I'd rather not do that, so next time will have to be more firm. She is posting me the 1000 leaflet anyway, so that's good.

@ Jess, I so wish I could talk to her about this stuff but she isn't good at that kind of support, and isn't managing her own weight at all so that worries me too. I do like her, but wish there could be more support. Anyway, minis does make up for it!

Have had my bar, off to town now and then home to curl up again. Today will probably be 810 until the booklet arrives, but that's OK.

xxx
 
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