KD Rambles No. 2 Food addiction and peptides

[KD]

That's one of the hardest things to do...

Well, I never said it was going to be easy

Attitude is everything. We often find it hard because we fight it. We think we are depriving ourselves and feel sorry for ourselves.

We make it into such a big deal. That's because we are addicts. It's not such a big deal though if you accept it for what it is. There is no deprivation. You can have what you want, just not at that moment if it's an AD.

It's only when you start doing this and realise the benefits of not making the AD = action, that you see how possible it is. And of course, the more you do it, the better you get :clap:

 

[KD]

I should add that I didn't invent this way of dealing with it, just tweaked bits.

The first time I had heard of the term AD was when I was trying to give up smoking (once and for all...after millions of attempts). I found quite a few references to it on the net and then an internet friend who had used the same technique to conquer her food addiction. It just seemed to make so much sense.

These are some of the phrases that I copied from the internet some time ago. They were to do with various other addictions, but nevertheless, I could see how to apply it to my own.

The person attempts to rid the AD
The desire returns days or even years later
He resists the returning desire until he can't fight it any longer. Then, since he has no way of coping with the desire, he returns to the addictive behaviour

The person tries to exclude from his consciousness a thought or feeling that is determined to be threatening. It is the most common reason that an individual has difficulty overcoming any addiction

Instead of repression, look for an approach that teaches you 1) how to experience your addictive desires and 2) how to choose whether or not to act on them.

If you learn how to face your addictive desires, you won't have to fear them.

Experiencing the addictive desire rather than repressing it gives you the best chance for the long run because it teaches you how to face your problem rather than bury it.

By learning how to choose whether or not to act on the addictive desire your long term chances of success are improved because you don't have to rely on anyone else but you. You don't need a crutch because you
have something more effective than a crutch. You have the ability to
make your own choices

 

[KD]

It's good to challenge yourself. Sometimes you'll find it really easy to beat the AD, sometimes it will be hard. If you feel it getting too easy, you can challenge it. Bring it to the forefront.

For example, just say you decide you will eat your 'snack' at 9:00. You're not tempted at all before then. You could get to 9:00, get it out, then decide that you will actually eat it at 10:00.

That's hard, but it gives you a chance to work on the AD.

Of course, you can still eat it at 9:00. The choice is yours. If you decide to delay it, know that you made the decision.

 

[minilady]

Hi KD

As you know I am now an avid fan, so am really pleased you've decided to start a new thread (hopefully we'll be able to convince you to carry on after the holidays). Only just got to the new thread, have spent time this morning reading more of your old diary.

How interesting to find that it was through your research for giving up smoking that you found out about AD.

As I've said before I am a smoker and at the moment have no real intentions of trying to give up, I feel I need to do one thing at a time.

I'm presuming you have used this technique for quitting, in which case I hope that if I can master it for weight maintenance, I can then apply it for giving up smoking. I live with an ex smoker, who tells me it's simple...just stop! If only I had the simple black and white mind of my man

Tracey
x

 

[KD]

have spent time this morning reading more of your old diary.

OMG, you poor sod. I suggest you have a lie down. I've never read it...oh except for as it posted. I dread to think what was going on in my head at that time.

As you might have noticed, I took a few turnings here and there to get to where I am now. Trial and error:sigh: I really ought to go and read it, but I'm not sure I've got the courage.

As I've said before I am a smoker and at the moment have no real intentions of trying to give up, I feel I need to do one thing at a time.

Agree there! When I gave up, I was quite comfortable with my weight and way of eating.

I'm presuming you have used this technique for quitting, in which case I hope that if I can master it for weight maintenance, I can then apply it for giving up smoking. I live with an ex smoker, who tells me it's simple...just stop!

:sigh: They don't understand do they

 

[canireallydothis!!]

KD, does the guilt go when you face your AD, even when you have had the stuff that your AD is telling you?? Im rambling again!!! What I mean is, say you face the AD, Ill have x amount at 9pm, and then put the rest away, will I feel guilty Ive had it, or will I feel pleased that I saved it till then and then put the rest away.

And if we say a straight NO to the AD is that ok too, or do we have to have a bit and then no more|???

I know you dont have all the answers, Im just keen for your take on the subject!

 

[KD]

What I mean is, say you face the AD, Ill have x amount at 9pm, and then put the rest away, will I feel guilty Ive had it, or will I feel pleased that I saved it till then and then put the rest away.

Pleased I hope!! By eating it and enjoying it, you are teaching yourself normal behaviour. By putting the rest away, you've also strengthened the 'normal' connection. There is no guilt. Even if you succumb to the temptation of eating out of the normal pattern, though you've strengthened that AD just a little bit more, it's a chance to just try again next time.

It's nothing to do with depriving or guilt. Just learning.

And if we say a straight NO to the AD is that ok too, or do we have to have a bit and then no more???

It depends how you say it. Saying "NO...I shouldn't have this feeling", or saying "No..this is just the AD"

The feeling is normal. It's natural...especially for an addict. Accept that is how you feel. Be at peace with it

 

[canireallydothis!!]

Pleased I hope!! By eating it and enjoying it, you are teaching yourself normal behaviour. By putting the rest away, you've also strengthened the 'normal' connection. There is no guilt. Even if you succumb to the temptation of eating out of the normal pattern, though you've strengthened that AD just a little bit more, it's a chance to just try again next time.

It's nothing to do with depriving or guilt. Just learning.

It depends how you say it. Saying "NO...I shouldn't have this feeling", or saying "No..this is just the AD"

The feeling is normal. It's natural...especially for an addict. Accept that is how you feel. Be at peace with it

Right, so its saying no to the desire, not the feeling.

Im with it!!! So far anyway!

 

[KD]

Right, so its saying no to the desire, not the feeling.

Im with it!!! So far anyway!

Cool Vicky The idea is very simple. Not always simple to put into action some of the time, but I've yet to find a way that is.

Even other non-dieting methods involve stuff I didn't want to do. Too much reflection...looking in the mirror type of stuff for me

 

[KD]

Okay...next point. I posted a few messages over the last couple of weeks that were a type of precursor before starting this thread.

Who are you doing this for?

It's really important that you are doing this for you. I know we've always been told that, but it's a vital part of the success with it.

It has got to be your journey of discovery. Don't invite applause or even encouragement from friends and family. Okay...that sounds weird, but it's important.

"He'll be proud of me" or "he'll be disappointed in me". Your success or otherwise could easily be influenced by what they say.

You need your success to come from that great feeling of facing the AD and not acting on it. It mustn't come from the good feeling of someone praising you or trying to keep you 'on the wagon'.

You've got to want it for you. It's a private challenge. By doing this, it's easier to stay focused on what you are trying to achieve. Praise from others doesn't continue to flow. Or if you feel you have let someone down, then the guilt set in and you start doing it for them.

Best to face that right from the start and not encourage it.

 

[canireallydothis!!]

Its so nice to have that praise from others though, I mean, i do do it for me, coz I get really unhappy if I dont, but I do like praise, always have done.

I wont jeopordise if I dont get the praise though, I reckon this is one battole I have to do on my ownx

 

[KD]

Strictly speaking (they tell me) you aren't supposed to share this with your nearest and dearest. It has to be a responsibility that you take on yourself and not share in case a part of you tries to do this to please or displease someone else.

Know what you mean though

 

[KD]

Well, it's been 2 months since I've overeaten:clap: Okay, that might not sound much, but for me it's a blooming miracle!

I was thinking back to my last binge attack. I was so disappointed in myself. So scared that I had lost the plot.

If only I knew about this AD earlier. I had been working on my 'habit', but not fully understood what was going on. Now I'm at ease with it, knowing that it's just a one off, that I'm not doomed.

Every day gets easier and easier. Not that it's been difficult for the last year or so, just gaining more confidence.

I used the addictive desire method to give up smoking, so why did it take me so long to realise that I could use it for eating? Doh!

Still...got there in the end.

Life in Karionland:
New TV delivered this morning and I'm watching DH and DS2 wire it up to the Tivo etc. Guess they will have to use the instruction book in the end, but I'll break that to them gently At the moment they are on stage 3.... "Shouldn't that bit go there?"

DS1 has moved out. He moved out about 2 months ago. This is a terrible thing to say, but it's so much more relaxed around here

Love him to bits and all that, but he just needs so much of my attention. He still pops in for a chat and seems to be happy in the flat where he is living :clap:

Loving the summer holidays. Usually I get depressed and long to get back to school. Perhaps it's because DS1 isn't here I just feel that I can get on with doing my own thing when and how I want.

Actually, don't think I want to go back to school now. Perhaps I should retire? Nah..just taken on more hours there, so I guess they wouldn't be too amused. Besides...I need the dough!

 

[KD]

Exciting news!!! I've lost my todo list!

Isn't that fantabulous?!

If anyone finds it, please hide it somewhere.
TV is up and running. Quite easy to set up really even with Tivo. v+ ordered and coming on Saturday :clap:

Just had a good lunch and should be happy as larry, but for some strange reason I suddenly feel very tearful. Not sure what's going on.

 

[KD]

Oh cripes Karion. Get off the computer. It's depressing you.

Right. Bye diary ...I'm going for a walk in the rain cos then nobody can see the tears :clap:

Will be all 'repaired' when I get back hopefully

 

[JEM]

What's up hun?

Sending you big hugs xxxx

 

[canireallydothis!!]

Hun, dont go teary, we are here for you.

New telly, I love new tellies, Ive got a v+ box too, its ace, only Ive got 80 hours of recording on it and cant get off the darn computer to watch it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hope the walk did you good x

 

[canireallydothis!!]

Exciting news!!! I've lost my todo list!

Isn't that fantabulous?!

If anyone finds it, please hide it somewhere.

:silly:

 

[Isis]

Oh cripes Karion. Get off the computer. It's depressing you.

Right. Bye diary ...I'm going for a walk in the rain cos then nobody can see the tears :clap:

Will be all 'repaired' when I get back hopefully

Hope the walk has helped KD?..xx

I know sometimes I can easily become tearful and have absolutely no reasoning for it

I also think this thread is fab and have just read it from the start as I am at home all day!!! Yippee

 

[minilady]

Well, it's been 2 months since I've overeaten:clap: Okay, that might not sound much, but for me it's a blooming miracle!

It's a great acheivement It's an empowering feeling.


Life in Karionland:
New TV delivered this morning and I'm watching DH and DS2 wire it up to the Tivo etc. Guess they will have to use the instruction book in the end, but I'll break that to them gently At the moment they are on stage 3.... "Shouldn't that bit go there?"

It's a man thing

Exciting news!!! I've lost my todo list!

Excellent. Now you can sit back relax and do nothing but watch your new tv

Just had a good lunch and should be happy as larry, but for some strange reason I suddenly feel very tearful. Not sure what's going on.

Hope you're ok now and the walk made you feel better. We are complicated beings, I have little spells of this and if DH or one of the kids catches me and asks what's wrong, they think I'm gaga when I tell them nothing is wrong! But sometimes there simply isn't any reason. having a good cry is a release for me, I always feel good afterwards, so I class it as a good thing

Tracey
x