Kels diary

[Kels_85]

Oh Hun I'm so sorry ! I've lost both my parents dad first very very suddenly and then mum a few short months after, spend all the time you can with each other, say things you want and when the time comes make sure you grieve, cry cry and cry I didn't and It took along time to deal with!
Thinking of you
P.s added you to face book.

Thank you for your message Lancsgirl,
I know exactly what you mean about getting the crying out. My beautiful Nana died in October, and it was so unexpected, my whole family thought my Grandad would be the first to go because he has been fighting lung cancer for so long. But my Nana had a cardiac arresst and we was with her up the hospital for a whole week willing her too pull through but we eventually found out she was 80% brain damaged so the kindest thing to do was too turn her machine off and let her pass by herself. I still haven't really come too terms with my Loosing my Nan and didn't let myself cry for a very long time, even today it still don't seem real too me, I have a hard time facing these sort of realities, maybe I need to grow up, I dont know!
I think it's all becoming too real now, and when my Gramps does eventually go, I'm sort of going to be hit with a double whammy of grief, where I haven't grieved for my Nana yet!
It's such a cruel world, it really is!!

So sorry too hear about your loss xxx

You are right about spending every minitue I can with my Gramps and telling him how much I love him.
Yesterday I was just standing in his room while he was sitting on his bed, and my Uncle offered me his seat, and my Gramps just said " No, she wants to sit next too her Grandad " I went and sat next too him, put my arms around him and I could feel myself welling up, but I didn't! I know I have too stay strong for him, his fighting death right now, so I can't show him im scared.

Thanks again for your message. I really appreciate it. I'm going too go and check my Facebook now xxx

 

[lancsgirl]

Oh hun my dad died from
Lung cancer! He was diagnosed and three months later died to the day! He was never in pain had some treatment but they also found an anurism in his chest, he'd never been ill a day in his life! And was a paramedic, I thanks god every day he didn't suffer he could have been so
Much worse but he was never one to hang around! Much love to
You and if you ever need someone to shout and scream
At just inbox me xxx

 

[Kels_85]

Oh hun my dad died from
Lung cancer! He was diagnosed and three months later died to the day! He was never in pain had some treatment but they also found an anurism in his chest, he'd never been ill a day in his life! And was a paramedic, I thanks god every day he didn't suffer he could have been so
Much worse but he was never one to hang around! Much love to
You and if you ever need someone to shout and scream
At just inbox me xxx

Thank you so much, I really appreciate your message xxxxxxxxx

 

[therealbbe]

awwwwww sweetie so sorry ya having rough time of it you are always in my thoughts and hope u have good day tomorrow lots of positive thinking chick and nice for you to have happy memories with him laughing!!! Sorry if I am not helping chick I am trying
Lots of love coming your way
Sharon xxxxxx
Ps adding you now xxxxxxxx

 

[Kels_85]

awwwwww sweetie so sorry ya having rough time of it you are always in my thoughts and hope u have good day tomorrow lots of positive thinking chick and nice for you to have happy memories with him laughing!!! Sorry if I am not helping chick I am trying
Lots of love coming your way
Sharon xxxxxx
Ps adding you now xxxxxxxx

Thank you chick!!
Your helping me very much! It's nice too know I have such amazing friends

Hope your ok chick xxxxx

 

[therealbbe]

Thank you chick!!
Your helping me very much! It's nice too know I have such amazing friends

Hope your ok chick xxxxx

I am doing better than yesterday was offline coz a car ran over my phone : o but got replacement today lol so not great yesterday but good today!!! Glad I am helping gorgeous your doing amazing How much u lost now weight I mean and how much more to go????? Xxxx

 

[Kels_85]

Just had my weigh in, and I have lost a total of 9lb which I'm chuffed about!! That's a result of a 2 week weigh in and I must say it's nice too see such a big number, total loss for last week by scales was 4lb and 5lb for this week
My scales show exactly the same as my CDC's!!

Also reached another mini goal - it was to get to 11st 7lb I am now 11st 6lb which has cheered my up big time!!

Got 2 weeks worth of products again, so hoping by the time I have my next weigh in, I'm in the 10's

Hope everyone has a good day today, I'm gonna get ready and go and stay with my Gramps for the night xxxxxx

 

[Kels_85]

I am doing better than yesterday was offline coz a car ran over my phone : o but got replacement today lol so not great yesterday but good today!!! Glad I am helping gorgeous your doing amazing How much u lost now weight I mean and how much more to go????? Xxxx

Glad your better today than yesterday!! Oh my god your poor phone!!
Lucky you have insurance!!

Thank you chick, I have lost 2 stone, short of 1lb!! So 27lb altogether
Have another 2 stone too go xxx

 

[therealbbe]

Glad your better today than yesterday!! Oh my god your poor phone!!
Lucky you have insurance!!

Thank you chick, I have lost 2 stone, short of 1lb!! So 27lb altogether
Have another 2 stone too go xxx

Yeah most def or I would of been stuck big time lol whhjooojooo well done on ya weigh in that is awesome girl !!!! 2 stone u can soooooooo do this have good evening huni thinking of you xxxxx

 

[Kels_85]

Yeah most def or I would of been stuck big time lol whhjooojooo well done on ya weigh in that is awesome girl !!!! 2 stone u can soooooooo do this have good evening huni thinking of you xxxxx

Thank you honey

Hope you enjoy the rest of your weekend, please be careful with your phone!! ;-) xxxxx

 

[therealbbe]

Thank you honey

Hope you enjoy the rest of your weekend, please be careful with your phone!! ;-) xxxxx

Gonna treat it like a baby!!! Zipped pockets from now on u toooooo huni take care xxxx

 

[Wannabe_Barbie!]

Kels, I am so sorry you are going through such a difficult period. I admire you so much for being so strong about your gramps, and also with the diet. You are doing brilliant. And you and your gramps are in my thoughts and in my prayers. Life is cruel... I agree with you on that one.

I totally understand why you feel you have to keep it together. Like I mentioned before my mother was sick, she still is, she has a poor heart, and a number of other things healthwise, but I feel like I have to be strong for her and for my brothers. But it scares the hell out of me, and what scares me the most is how she kinda like accepts her fate, like she has given up.

U mentioned not accepting the realities, and maybe that means you have to grow up. Well I don't think it has anything to do with growing up sweety, these are the people you love more than anything, your family, it is more than understandable that we do not want to accept these kind of things. My point is sweety don't beat yourself up about the way you deal with these things, when its time you will let yourself grieve, there is no right or wrong time to do so. You just will. And whenever that time is I am here for ya as are a lot of people here.

 

[Sarah Lou]

I hope you get to have a peaceful night my darlin Kels, will catch up in my diary when I feel up to it xx thinking of you and you are the amazing one loosing all that weight.. I've stuck for a month now, not up not down.. major re-thinking going on tonight in my head xx any how none of that's important with all what you have got going on.. you are the my super girl so please keep the cape much luv as always x

 

[Kels_85]

Kels, I am so sorry you are going through such a difficult period. I admire you so much for being so strong about your gramps, and also with the diet. You are doing brilliant. And you and your gramps are in my thoughts and in my prayers. Life is cruel... I agree with you on that one.

I totally understand why you feel you have to keep it together. Like I mentioned before my mother was sick, she still is, she has a poor heart, and a number of other things healthwise, but I feel like I have to be strong for her and for my brothers. But it scares the hell out of me, and what scares me the most is how she kinda like accepts her fate, like she has given up.

U mentioned not accepting the realities, and maybe that means you have to grow up. Well I don't think it has anything to do with growing up sweety, these are the people you love more than anything, your family, it is more than understandable that we do not want to accept these kind of things. My point is sweety don't beat yourself up about the way you deal with these things, when its time you will let yourself grieve, there is no right or wrong time to do so. You just will. And whenever that time is I am here for ya as are a lot of people here.

Babe, thank you so much for this post! I really appreciate it, and feel very lucky too have you

I hope your Mum gets better asap honey. Cant imagine what your going through right now! Try and stay strong, I know it's hard, but we can do it!

Same goes for you chick, if you need me I'm here! Hope the diet it going well babe, lots of love xxxxx

 

[Kels_85]

I hope you get to have a peaceful night my darlin Kels, will catch up in my diary when I feel up to it xx thinking of you and you are the amazing one loosing all that weight.. I've stuck for a month now, not up not down.. major re-thinking going on tonight in my head xx any how none of that's important with all what you have got going on.. you are the my super girl so please keep the cape much luv as always x

Hey my babe,
I hope your getting on ok chick, I will give you a text this afternoon to check in on you. Thank you for your message honey xxxx xxx

 

[Kels_85]

Good morning girls,
Just a quick post, feel like I haven't been on here for ages!! Usually I'm on and off of MiniMins like a yoyo! ;-)

Gramps is still fighting, doctors have said anyone else would have passed by now. His so determined bless him! I spent Sunday with him and he was very weak, Sunday was the worst I had seen him, he can't even walk anymore because he gets too out of breath, so we was just pushing him around the ward in his chair. He did try and get up and start walking but he literally took a few steps then needed to get back in his chair :-(
He still hasn't had a proper sleep!! I think his had about 8 hours in a week! Everytime he feels himself dropping off je wakes himself up!
Going back up there tomorrow too see him as I have been neglecting chores at home and really need to get them out of the way! Managed too rearrange my bedroom yesterday, polish and Hoover, but then had too shoot out, so today I'm going too wash the sheets, Hoover again and then bleach the floors.
Then I have some ironing too get done as I'm running out of things too wear!

Diet wise, everything is going well, I'm still 100% and yesterday I started my C25K challenge week 2!! Felt good too be running again!
I tried on a dress I bought last year, I paid £85 for it, and when I tried it on, the dress would not even go over my hips, let alone zip up!! It was awful!
I tried it on yesterday morning when I was moving my furniture about, and it went over my hips and zipped all the way up, with no problem!! I was very pleased! I'm going too add some before and after pics at some point today! I was looking at them last night and just thought " Oh my life, I really was a troll! " Hahaha! Oh well, I'm not that person anymore and can't imagine bingeing on crisp and chocolate te way I used too!! I definitely won't be going back too my old ways that's a " fuc*ing guaranteed certainty " - Sorry for the swear word, that's a phrase my Grandad says a lot, and I thought it was fitting

Hope everyone is ok, and still on the nutty train too skinny town! I definitely miss talking too my girlies all day!!
Miss you all, and all the banter

TOOOOOT TOOOOOOOT

Speak too you all soon, love Kels xxxxxxxx

 

[Kels_85]

Here's some before and after pics!!
Still have another 2 stone to go, but do far, I'm very pleased

Excuse the tracksuit bottoms in the last picture, I was so excited about getting into the dress ;-) xxx

 

[therealbbe]

Here's some before and after pics!!
Still have another 2 stone to go, but do far, I'm very pleased

Excuse the tracksuit bottoms in the last picture, I was so excited about getting into the dress ;-) xxx

Omg love the dress and wow u can soooooooo see the difference you look amazing!!!! Whoop whoop toot toot xxx

 

[Mishi]

Alright treacleeeeee im back!!! So glad to see your gramps is going strong and your doing well on the diet. I had a good weekend ended up drinking Fri and Sat lol....oopsiiee they just fell into my mouth what can I say!!! Anyways Im back on the wagon and no drinking for a couple of weeks so im gonna dig deep and stay strong. Your before and after pics are amazing I will sort some out once I feel there is an actual difference!! 'THE' dress, u know the one...the one with the back fat that rivals heather trott in a tutu...well I can get it zipped up now woo hooo!! Plus im ready to throw away a pair of my work trousers cos they are wayyy too baggy and as much as they remind me of the weight coming off im running the risk of looking like a clown/tramp!!! Hope your good lovely xxx

 

[yummymummy27]

Hi Kels

Your so inspiring and happy! Im starting cd today, just had my 1st shake, not as bad as i thought but have to do something Anyway, sat for a good hour last night reading your diary and was giggiling aloud quite alot!

Anyway just wanted to say keep up the good work and hopefully 4weeks down the like i'll still be on track! Think i may make i dairy too... think it helps!

Hope your gramps is ok

Take Care

xxxx