Kez's struggles and troubles! 17th June Restart!

[cornishkez]

Yay! Thanks hunny. I'm still going strong, 3 black coffees, a tetra and a litre of water down the hatch. Drinking the water is going to be the hardest bit. Only had 2 pees so far today, so I'm soaking it all up at the moment! Must not weigh myself for a few days until the retention starts passing through.

I've got 2 tetras left and the rest are shakes and a couple of porridges, but I don't like the shakes My CD will have appointments on Thursday evening, so if I am still going strong on Thursday, I'll go see her and swap whatever I have got left for tetras.

 

[cornishkez]

Second tetra down, slowing up on the water. Anyone know how much extra I am meant to drink per tetra I have? I have just been having the 250ml you would usually have in a shake, do you reckon that's ok? So 2.25litres plus 750ml extra water?

The headache is starting to come on, I am feeling tired and thick headed. I know it is just low blood sugar as it's day 1, but looking forward to finishing in half an hour, having a cigarette (my guilty pleasure to replace food), walking the dogs and wrapping my horsey up for the night, before finally heading home to wrap myself up for the night.

Since I downloaded the sleep cycle app on my iphone, I have gotten an average of just under 6 hours sleep a night. I usually head up about 11pm, but I guess by the time I crash out and the alarm goes off 5.45am for Scott, thats about 6 hours. Not enough me thinks! Will def be going to bed earlier tonight.

 

[mfhx6gt2]

Good work so far!

I've downloaded that iphone app, I wonder if it really is accurate? I has shocked me how little sleep I actually get looking at the stats!

 

[cornishkez]

I'm a really restless, fidgety sleeper and my chart is up and down, up and down. So I guess the motion sensor part of it works, I'm not into the alarm going off when it thinks it's best for you. It woke me up 10 minutes early the other day, ten minutes extra sleep is very precious in the mornings!

 

[mfhx6gt2]

Haha yes, the first time I set it for an 8am start the bloody thing woke me up at 7:28! Robbed me of half an hour, I think I need to change the alarm sound on mine if you can as it is very gentle and it doesn't really motivate me to actually get out of my bed, I need a big loud blast that annoys the hell out of me to get me up usually!

 

[miss-HJ]

well done on getting back on CD, thats the hardest decision hun, take each day as it comes and think how good ul feel in a few weeks/months time when uv lost stone's and are feeling better, getting closer to the size for ur dress etc.

if u do slip on CD dnt let it carry on, draw a line under the blip and crack on with the next shake, the stricter u are with this diet the cheaper it will b for u. if money is an issue think for every mouthful of food u put in your mouth thats another potential day on CD!!! and noone wants extra days on this plan!!! if u need food, up it to SS+ and b strict.

in the long run u cheat, ur only cheating urself!!
im a fine one to talk but am trying to follow my own nags lol it is hard tho there is no easy resolution!!

 

[cornishkez]

Hiya, well this time I am going to be completely honest about everything I do and I have eaten already. But I have tried my best to keep it completely protein only. I had a griled pork chop and 2 pooached eggs.

I think I need to look up what SS+ is, so when I eat I can make sure it is legal. I've followed my food with an extra litre of water and now I am going to bed before I slip up any more!

It doesnt help that I haven't told my other half about CD, will be sneaking about at meal time for the next few weeks me thinks!

I am still determined to do this, it might just take me a little bit longer to get there. I am weak, I admit it!

 

[miss-HJ]

i change it so it suits me hun, i have protein if i need "something" as ss is so damn hard!!! the main think is b true to urself, if ur relatily good u will have good results, on weeks iv tried to cheat its shown!!

ur a similar weight to me and i can only say that when u try on sumin in a smaller size the buzz is unreal!!! today i brought some "small" size 18 trousers my regular 18s were ones i brought at my biggest an were the most forgiving trousers lol they are hanging off me and look crap so treated myself today!!! also got a couple of size 16 tops there a little tight atm but i could get em on etc, and in a few weeks they will fit for my holiday!!! even if u dnt plan on buyin new clothes make sure u get out and try on new sizes as it feels so good, really perked me up today!!

 

[cornishkez]

Good advice, I have a few pair of 18 trousers that I've just not been able to throw out. Stashed in a suitcase under the bed.

Just worked out that my meal had upped my calories for today to just under 1000, but have only had 28g of carbs which is 13g less than you get on SS. So hopefully I haven't mucked up getting into ketosis.

I really should research what damage my eating is going to do before I do it! I also really need to come up with something to do in the evening as I am easily 100% during the day, but its when I have to cook for Scott that I can't cope.

 

[miss-HJ]

im the same, i was thinking of making his meals one night doing a ss+ and then freexing them lol then dnt have to cook lol

eves is my weakness, its what ruins a ss day for me, if u find a cure let me know lol doesnt help im addicted to cooking progs so makes me hungry lol mad!!

i guess planning a ss+ meal in advance will help control what u consume, one thin iv bn having is soup, most are only 160 cals and fills me up when really need something, doesnt seem to damage my losses either.

 

[Surfhunny]

Hey hun, sorry I've been awol today, I've had a bit of a crisis. I've just got in from the hospital (not work related) My friend is in labour and I'm one of her birthing partners.... I'm doing the night time part and another friend is doing tomorrow day, because her husband is very squeemish and will faint if he's in there. I've been sent home for now, because things are going very slowly and she's getting some sleep. Part of me really wants it all to happen tonight, because I think it'll be an amazing thing to be part of, but the the other part of me is terrified!!! It's aweful seeing her in pain during her contractions. But they're so far apart at the moment but still....

Anyway, as promised the name of the book is How Not To Get Fat by Ian Marber... I'm so glad I ordered it off Amazon, because I can imagine the face on the person at the till in Waterstones.... can almost hear them saying "Bit late for this book hun" to me in their mind. Like I said some of it is total hogwash, but lots of it really made me sit up and think about what I do. It's what made me re-evaluate my exercise regime and come up with my idea that doing very little exercise while on CD will serve me better for when I start maintainance...Then I can ramp it up to a decent level....If I had to up the levels I was doing previously I'd have to move into the gym lol...... We shall see if my experiment works if I ever make it to target.

Anyway as for SS+ I mix it up too sometimes... I try very hard to stick to SS when I can but sometimes I just NEED to have an SS+ day....I generally try to keep to the CD legal stuff but on occassion I've had other things, just try to make sure it's low carb and had no nasties like citric acid in. The losses have been low this time round, but they've been consistent and I think so long as it stays controlled its okay, and you know what to change if the losses are too low for your liking.

The first time I did CD I had a bit of friendly competition from my friend who was doing LL at the time and there way no way I was going to cheat and let her get the better of me, this time I haven't had that and I've found it harder to stay motivated. I was also so impressed by the big losses I had last time there was no way I would jeopardise that by cheating, this time I know how far I can push things and get away with it. I've found that I can have 1 normal meal a week and have the same loss as if I was 100% I don't make a habit of it, but on the odd occassion I do it.... I haven't got the willpower to stick to it 100% at the moment.... I wish I had but maybe it'll come back again sometime.

Anyway I believe in you and I know you'll do it one way or another, but I do think that you need to find one diet and stick with it, it'll stop you putting pressure on yourself I think xxx

 

[Surfhunny]

The sleep app is quite shocking!! I hardly have any decent deep sleep at all, how I function every day is beyond me. I definitely won't be getting much sleep tonight, I'll be expecting the midwife to ring at any point.

 

[cornishkez]

Aw thanks both of you, I am not going to let this beat me. I need to prove it to myself and everyone else!

 

[Surfhunny]

Nah hun you don't need to prove it to anyone but yourself, it's no-one else's business (but ours lol). No seriously though, it really is only you. No-one else has the right to judge. I've been through this in my own head, and it wasn't until I decided that it was no-one elses business that I really got to grips with it this time round. Now it doesn't matter to me what people think if I eat (shock horror - can see Tactless Tessy's face now) or if I don't eat (TT's face again comes to mind), I'm doing it for me, and you're doing it for you, and that fab wedding dress of course!!! And if I have to come down there to Piskieland and kick you up the bum I'll do it lol....There that should be enough motivation for ya.....keeping me away ha ha. Night hun, tomorrow is a whole new day xxx

 

[cornishkez]

Miss-HJ, that's a brilliant idea! I am going to cook up a huge batch of chilli this evening and freeze it into single portions. I am also going to cut some chicken up into SS+ size portions and freeze, so that I only cook what I'm meant to have.

I'm not going to try to do SS, as I've heard lots of people say the weight losses aren't that different to SS+ and it means I get to eat of an evening. Just need to manage how I handle the food and I think freezing it up in meal size portions is a great idea! It also means I can take the food out in the morning to save time in the evening and if I'm feeling really weak then Scott can just reheat his portion himself while I hide somewhere!

I jumped on the scales this morning and I am down 2.5lbs, so hopefully thats most of the water rention passed through. I drank 2750ml in the end yesterday, so probably not as much as I should of considering I had two tetras and then pork. Still, not bad for day 1.

Sally, how is your friend getting along? Has she had the baby yet? I would be terrified, but at the same time like you said it's an amazing thing to be a part of. Might put you off kiddies for life though, seeing it happen up close and personal! lol

I'm going to have a look later on apps store to see if there are any book on there that are worth downloading? Your right, it isn't anyones business but mine, but I worry so much what other people think that if I just flit on and off this I know they are going to be saying 'No wonder she's fat, all she does is eat!' or something along those lines.

Anyhoo, onto Day 2 after a not very successful Day 1! Never mind, it's not going to be an easy ride and it's going to take me a while to battle my way into the right mind set, but I'll get there don't worry.

My biggest worry at the moment is going to see my CDC, when we last spoke she basically told me not to bother with CD as I wasn't ready and not suited to it. At the time I appreciated her honesty and having her approval to come off it, but now I feel like she didnt have any faith in me and I'm nervous about phoning her again.

I am sure she comes across lots of people who flit on and off. She isn't a great CD representative either, she struggles to stay on plan. Maybe I just need to be completely honest with her and myself??? I might ask her if I can drop in and see her on a Monday and a Thursday and only buy enough tetras to get me through intil the next time I see her, that way I have to go and get weighed and it might keep me more focused having to report to her twice a week. None of this, off plan Tuesday and Wednesday cause I've got till Monday to sort it.

 

[cornishkez]

Oh and got 7 and a half hours kip last night. My best in a while, mind you my chart was up and day, I think I must have woken up every half hour or so. No idea why I am so restless? Maybe my achy back or maybe that I tend to be aware of whats going on. If the dog or scott stirs I do to, and I'll hear the cat flap going, or people walking back from the holiday park behind us. Maybe I should take a sleeping pill? lol

Anyway, my second post this morning is to say that I have found my original CDC weigh in card which I am chuffed about as it is my only record of my starting measurements and stats.

Also, shockingly on 15th March (nearly 3 months) my weigh in was exactly the same as it was yesterday as I embarked on Day 1. So those 3 months of messing about and chopping and changing haven't put any extra on, but were a complete was of time, stress and confusion. This just fuels me to make sure I give CD a proper chance. I'm not setting any goals or targets though, just going to do my best wth no added pressure!

And it's funny, now that I have allowed myself to do SS+ and I know I will be having a meal tonight, it makes everything else seem so much easier. It's that pressure thing isn't it?

I've can taste the haleketosis coming on. I know it's only Day 2, but I usually have a positive reading by the end of Day 2, so hopefully by the end of tomorrow I'll be there.

 

[Eternalflame]

Hi Kez..

That finding your card has prompted you on and will give you that motivation too.. Wish I could do CD, I stick to it 100% for 2 weeks and then eat.. still got a good week's worth here, so might need to use that end of July before my hols in Aug, just to boost the losses with SW.

Think its this weather, that makes you feel so restless.. did you get the thunder and rain where you were yest? It happened here and has cleared the air now.. I had been really heady last 2 days, weather really does affect ppl..

Have a good one Kez today and good on you for getting 100% back on track x

 

[Surfhunny]

That's exactly right hun, ease the pressure off and it doesn't seem as hard. I put a bit too much pressure on myself this week to get the full 8lbs back off. I managed to lose 4lbs and at any other time I'd be been overjoyed with a 4lb loss esp as it's TOTM, but no, this week I sulked. However, I've eased off the pressure again....I'm NOT in a hurry I have to keep reminding myself this, because I keep forgetting that.

So how has today been anyway, have you managed it ok? While I was waiting to go in for my WI earlier I typed out a big long message but then lost it all because it timed out on my phone grr. Never mind. Hope you have a good day tomorrow. xx

 

[Eternalflame]

Hows things going today Kez? Doing much at the weekend? x

 

[franbella21]

kez hi!!! im back! how are you hun?? back on cd?? i got so much to catch up on!!