LeaE's Jelly Wobble

LeaE

Gold Member

Day 1

Hi guys wellhi to anyone thats actually reading xx
Im Lea and I have decided to write a blog to the intention it helps me stick tothis and become a lighter yummier mummy xx
I have done CD before but quite a while ago so here is my re start and hopefullythe path to sucess because i am most defo a yoyo dieter who has always been fat
Im 28 just birthday was on friday and i allowed myself one more night out andnow im banned I have two little girlies of 5 and 8 I have a fella who is a yearyounger than me mega tall and very slim very much doesnt help as he eats loadsbut doesnt put on an ounce. oh and 3 chihuahuas so a pretty busy household
I work full time ! I work nights on a sunday and monday and through the daywednesday thursday and friday. Im running around all the time and i blame workfor my bad food choice which i know is stupid as its just an excuse but its myexcuse and im sticking to it lol
I started CD yesterday at 6pm yes thats right i started the min i got weighed!! I weighed in at 19st 7lbs and im only 5'5 so not great although last time istarted CD i was 20st so thats 7lbs down already ha ha ha im clutching atstraws arent I ! anyhow i know my councellor pretty well and shes brill x Imsupposed to be on step 2 but to start with im doing ss as thats old school andhow i know it and before anyone says aaahhhh thats naughty i know i know but itworks for me and im not ill so dont worry
well its day one for me and its wierd as im on nights I didnt touch anythinglast night during my 11hr shift just water. I was sat thinking about it on mybreak and im a little dissapointed in my last supper as it wasnt somethingamazing and i wont be eating for ages but then decided its my love of yummyfatty food that got me here so i prob should get a grip
I woke up at 2.30 picked the kids up from street dance and am now sat slurpinga strawberry milkshake and kinda enjoying it ! I swear im deluded as i put myjeans on when i got up and i swear they fit better ha ha ha Im a size 20/22 atthe moment and i hate it. Nothing fits nice i look awful in everything andbuying clothes has become a fight of what shops actually stock clothes that fitme and what hides my lumps and bumps best and i find that quite sad as i hatehaving to buy new clothes.
Starting this diet has a few reasons for me
1. i feel awful mega fat mega ugly
2. to be fitter and healthier for my girls so im not such an embaressment
3. I actually fee sorry for my bf as even though he says he loves me how i am Ijust pitty him been stuck with fat me
4. I want to be healthier
5. I want to enjoy clothes shopping
6 and i know this is vain and selfish ind awful must most of all i want to feelsexy again and not just a fat lump
Please anyone reading this if you do dont think im slagging off fat ppl andsaying if your fat your ugly unsexy etc its not that at all but its just how ifeel about myself not a reflection at all of my views on other. anyhow thats myfirst blog and my first day will catch up again soon xxx


Day 2



well i have finished my night shifts and finishedmy day 2 x i have officially been on cd for 50 hours and i have managed not tocheat and considering i am in the easter holidays i think im doing well !
today has been odd as i finished work at 7.30 had 2 hours sleep and then i havebeen awake all day I picked tekids up from street dance and then took themswimming x my bf is working 4 until close which means im home alone now whichis usually when i have a cup of tea and eat loads of crap but hey im satwatching corrie with my bottle of water and almost wanted to eat something andstart tomorrow as im only in day two but no i decided u can carry on like thatforever and i would get nowhere and with the amount of weight i have to shift icant afford to screw up
for some reason i tend to over think stuff and when im on this diet i thinkabout it far too much its like im obcessed
to be in a healthy bmi i need to lose 9st 7lbs wow that is a massive amount andis totally radic and seems kind scary amount to have to move so i decided i amdef aiming for 15stone first so i have 4st 7lbs to move first
i then continued to think about clothes, the fact everything i wear looks awfuland even though i feel less bloated nothing looks better then as to how radicit is im saying that after 2 days lmao thenas to i cant wait to drop dresssizes but how hard it will be to dress once stuff isnt my size in my wardrobeand then as to how i could alter clothes or shop in charity shops and primarnyand how i will always need at least jeans and a black pair of trousers
see all the stuff that goes round in my head is just mental and thats just asnipet
I have avoided jumping on the scales and also checking if im in ketosis x ifeel a little rough but nothing major have drank plenty of water and have hadmy shakes
When im struggling i have been reading through ppls blogs and diarys most havebeen an inspiration but i read one about a woman who was on and off the planand hadnt lost a great deal which made me almost fall off the plan but downed aglass of water and came to my senses
I feel a little bit disappointed that no one has read my post or commentedwhich i understand as this blog is dull and just me moaning and airing off sodoesnt make great reading but oh well hey
well im watching tv now and enjoyed a lovely soak in the bath then im off tobed i just hope i dont wake up again a million times for the loo again
roll on day 3




DAY 4

well itsday 4 and ppl were right its getting abit easier im not hungry and im gettingused to not eating meals with other ppl x Im amazed at how good my bf has beenas he has cooked more meals for the kids than he usually does so means im awayfrom it all x Its odd i think how you can not be hungry all day and evenstruggle to it 3 cd packets in yet the minute i smell certain food i get a bighunger crave mental ! well yesterday i felt i had shrunk and today i feel likei havent boo but still hanging in there x I tried the porriage today the pecanand maple and wow is that sweet made a change i suppose but wont be buying manyof those x I weighed myself yesterday even though i said i wouldnt and im only2lbs fatter than the last time i tried cd well when i gave up so hopefully wontbe long until im back there
Its crazy really because i cant wait to be in the 18st bracket and i mean thatsstill fat but i love to watch myself go down the stone brackets wonder ifanyone else does that or is it me that has cambridge COD
anyways i mixed up my banana milkshake this morning with more water than itstates and it was alot better i cant believe how sweet stuff is on this diet xi gotta admit i miss food i miss take aways and chocolate and a nice cup ofmilky tea but all i keep thinking is its that what got me here so get a grip x
I seriously cant wait until sunday to get weighed and to have completed a fullweek x i do obviously care whati will have lost but more so i just want to do afull week and stick to it x right im off x mums cooked homemade apple pie forthe kids so heres the next challenge comming up ha ha ha nah im fine i want tobe thinner too much to cave in just yet x




DAY 6

Yawn im sotired this morning but yesterday i had a late night and was very over emotionalso im not so suprised x I cant believe tomorrow is weigh in day x I was sofocused on it and excited through the week but now i feel more relaxed about iti think its because i have come to terms with the fact this is going to bequite a long journey with alot of weekly weigh ins so its going to be one ofmany x well day 6 hey x in my previous posts i have said alot of negativecomments about me being fat and why i want to change it but i was thinking ...thats all abit harsh i do have positives too one of which is my drive and willpower as to do this diet you need to have alot x not all ppl could do 6 dayswithout food and just fluid so im quite happy especially with the diet i havemoved away from and was familiar with x have had support from 2 ppl who havebeen so nice to me and they are two total strangers x both havent got as muchto lose as me but still how lovely of them to do that x I have a small constantperiod pain in my stomach but no period so thats odd x i dont get periods as ihave the implant and thats what it does to me but for some reason going intoketosis makes me bleed excess have checked with my cdc and doctor both say imfine so will just have to cope witht that if it happens again x anyway onwardsand upwards x off i go to get through my day 6 x wellyou all wouldnt believe my day ! we went swimming in barnsley as i was justabout to get in the ppol i came on my period ! no tampons mmm so i bought some! disaster avoided then as i was a bad planner and only had one shake so fartoday i swam and played and i went extreamly faint my eyes blacked out ! sodowned some water ! disaster number 2 avioded then on the way home on themotorway may i add my exhaust fell off my car omg and we were miles away fromhome soooo i whipped off my bra burnt out the wires and used it to tie theexhaust up allong with my little girls shoe laces and we got home ! disaster 3sofened but not sorted until the mechanics are back at work tuesday omg Im nowhome and usually after such stress i would give in especially given myunpredictable emotions atm x and to make matters even more testing my bf andkids just ordered a chinese wow talk about a testing day ! well onwards andupwards !

DAY 7

whoop isurvived a week on this diet whoop whoop and i know its pathetic but im bloodyproud x had my weigh in which has been great as keeped me motivated with itbeing easter yeah x I lost 10lbs and an inch off my waist so pretty happy x Ibought a shaker today to make doing this diet on the go abit easier and i madea popadom out of a oriental chilli soup and really enjoyed it was nice it feltlike a little bit of luxury spesh been easter and not been able to have a bitof chocolate x anyway todays been great just a shame im on nights tonight andtomorrow but after yesterdays downs its nice to have an up day he he he mycousin starts the diet tomorrow so least she will motivate me abit well thatsif she sticks with it she has 3 stone to lose so hope she does in time for thewedding x I dont think i will reach my 1st goal of 4st 7lbs by the 1st of junebut im going to give it a dam good try x at work tonight im going to try and getsome urine sticks as there is something satisfying about seeing your in ketosisx anyway 1 week down bring on week 2 x



Day 8

yawn yawnyawn xx I was on nights last night and had a hotchocolate with my shake it gotme through ! working easter and the monday is rubbish as i cant do alot with mygirls spesh seen as the car is now broken Im a little bit suprised i have lasted untilday 8 but now im used to it doesnt seem like too much of a hurdle this diet !To be honest im a little sad with myself now that I have allowed myself to getto his point in my life ! Its all my fault andnothing I can blame on anyone oranything else and all this im doing now is because of years of wrong doing !Thinking about being on this diet for months and months scares me to death butat the same time its something i need and want to do ! on average it is saidyou lose a stone a month and if i want to get to a normal size thats 9 stone soat least 9 months ! That takes me right through to christmas ! Time does fly iknow that but these last 8 days have sempt long for me as its something i havehad to think about all the time as not to slip up ! They say it gets easier andtime passes faster as you progress on this diet so hopefully that will be thecase for me
Im really sad about my weight and its not something i admit to anyone easily ithas an effect on every aspect of my life and something i really want to change! I feel a little bit down today maybe because its totm im not sure but im justreally fed up of wishing i was a few stone lighter and a size 16 as that feelsa million miles away right now as im still a size 20 x read on here how fastppl are dropping dress sizes and just wish it was me x maybe when i start tosee results from this diet it will get easier and i wil stop going to bed on anight dreaming of feeling slim and attactive x anyhow i better tidy the housecook tea and jump in the shower as that usually perks me up a tad spesh beingon nights again to night ! Im not going to lie not eating chocolate has been reallydifficult over easter spesh not even one mouthful




Day 9

well day 9and im stil here x totm still so abit fed up with that but still sticking inthere x I jump on the scales every morning which is a bad habbit i really needto kick as as of sunday i havent shifted an ounce and last week i watched theweight drop off every day oh well hey x Im off work tonight and cant wait justto chill out with my bf as im tired and missing my home and bed after twonights but im proud i survived another set of nights on this diet so all shouldbe easier this week x I have to say i am seeing changes with myself and thisdiet x up until now i have been terribly obccessed with this diet thinkingabout it every min of every day 24/7 thats why i need to write on here and readall about everyones stories but now im starting to chill out a little bit anddare i say its seems a little bit easier x im not under any illusion its goingto be easy from now but i def feel more calm about it all x my car is stillbroken and i miss my car and i need to take the kids swimming later x its 1 pmand i have just had my 1st shake i had a banana one and i quite liked it allmixed up in my shaker x might have the porridge later x the porridge is a funnyone i dont mind eating it but cant say i love it x maybe in time i will xxright off i go with the rest of my day xx



Day 10

well itsday 10 and yesterday and today i dont feel any thinner x Its hard as many pplon here do after a short time but i dont infact i feel fatter than ever hopeits because its the time of the month and im hoping that ends soon xx im notdetered though im still on this 100% as i have to lose weight sticking to thiseither way and any weight off is some weight off and better than what i was xIts been really hard as im upset with my friend atm x Over the past year i havebeen there for her as she was single i always made sure i didnt leave her outand that i was thereto support her ! now she has met a guy and she has justscrewed me over tbh i havent seen her in over a month she blagged off coming tomy bday and well quite frankly she has made me feel betrayed ! this put me onabit of a downer as i find it hard to loe someone i love but im trying not tohink about it a great deal as stuff like this could knock you off this diet adits not happening x i weigh myself in a morning now and i havent lost in 2 daysi checked my pee and its only very mild ketosis which i dont understand as ihavent changed what i am doing at all but oh well like i said im still stickingwith this as i want to be a size 14 I will be happy when im a 16 tbh but iwould like to aim for a 14 x my mum was dieting but saw her yesterday and shehad McDs and had eaten an easter egg so i guess not x maybe the time isnt rightfor her right now I think when i have done this a few weeks and she can see achange in me she will come do this with me x I dont blame anyone for me beingfat as i believe we make our own choices in life but my mum has a real badrelationship with food and i feel i was influenced this from a very young age xi have always been fat and i can remember when i was young on a friday night mymum would buy loads of choc and junk in and we would gorge out on it ! she hasalways been a yoyo dieter and so have i again from a v young age and she put meon diets from about the age of 8 but they would never last ! This in turnscares me as i deff dont want that for my children so it makes me reallyconcious ! we go to my mums for fish and chips on a friday and she pushessweets and treats on them even when they say they dont want them i even butt inand say no she said she isnt bothered of which she over rides me and continuesto hound them about having something ! Thankfully they arent here on a fridayanymore as they have a seaside house to go to so it removes that problem x
well here i am on day 10 and on day 2 i would have never thought i would behere x many ppl say on here that time flies on this diet but it hasnt for me xi think its because i cant wait to have done a month 4 months 7 months on thisdiet so to be only in week 2 it all just seems a million miles away spesh as ucant tell i have lost a ounce yet x my bf doesnt notice a change in me even ifi lost 4 stone but its a drive as i know the min he sees a change i will havelost alot and def must look different x Had porridge this morning and it made anice change although i blow it up all over the microwave so lost some calsthere x x
Read a diary of a woman on here that worked with a complete witch at work whoknocked her throughout al her cd journey and i think hats sad ! why wouldanyone not be pleased for someone making such a positive change to there life ihonestly wish i had her number so i could ring that nasty lady and give herexactly what for ! I think ppl just feel threatened by fatppl losing weight andjealous i have had some negative comments and i just think its pathetic x mytheory is they feel comfortable while your fat as they dont feel they have asmuch of a problem but the min you start losing weight they feel thay might haveto self reflect and they dont feel as safe x




 
Day 11
well itsday 11 and im most the way through my 2nd week x I have a confession x lastnight i nearly caved in i was craving eating an asda stuff crust cheese pizzaand im so bloody glad that we dont have one in the house it isnt that i washungry i just really wanted one how pathetic is that anyway i went to be loland this morning i feel loads better. I have worked all day today so im coldand tired had 2 shakes had to have the tetras on the go as was to busy to grabanything else and it just goes to show where i go wrong as im too busy to planto eat so i just grab crap hense being this fat ! anyhow all in all its been agood day mostly as i have my car back but also as i have been busy x i havecleaned 2 houses one of which is massive so had plenty of exercise x Im hopingi lose at least 4lbs thisweek as that takes me to a stone and that would be fabbut i have promised myself not to get disappointed with little loses as some isbetter than none x Im wondering how my cuz got on this week on this diet hopeshes done ok as its her wedding soon 6 weekish so fingers crossed for her tooxx anyway im off to my mums for fish and chips with the kids x not that i willbe eating any just smelling the vinigar and dreaming lol drool from the mouthand all that x right bring on day 12 x

Day 12
Woke upthis morning and downed a vanilla shake worked all day which means i was runoff my feet so downed a banana tetra at the few seconds i got for lunch I thencame home and took my 2 girls and bf to meadowhall . the kids wanted to spendtheir easter money so the picked out new outfits and they loved it however iwas shattered. The kids and bf then sat in the oasis meadowhall to kfc ! I wassurrounded by masses of ppl eating and loads of devine smells I sat and downedmy bottle of water x the only thing that kept me on the sraight and narrow wasthe window shopping x masses of beautiful clothes that i could never fit intoand walking past evans and thinking the next tie i shop i am determined not tobe limited to there Im disgusted actually now im on the subjest of fashion !Why oh why do they think fat ppl are not into fashion and why do they insist onthe majority of the atire for plus size women to be tent like surely theyshould be aware that this makes fat ppl look bigger ! well even though imslimming im still disgusted it ought to be different and its fattist my newword i just made up ! shops should not be allowed to only stock clothes up to acertain size as it discriminates agains anyone above a size 14/16 !!!! Ifclothes were only made for white ppl or straight ppl they would be sued but nahdoesnt matter about the fatter people oh no thats allowed ! rant over ! anyhowi have survived day 12 and im off to bed soon as we have tickets to cinema kidsclub tomorrow so up earlier on my only day off and another bout of temptationto overcome lol nah its getting easier x oh and my cousin packed in the diettoday for a drink with her fiance and friends not very encouraging but im still here xx anyway night e night andtomorrow is my last full day before weigh in x
 
Day 13
Well woke up early this morning and we are off to the cinema x the kids have loads of goodies packed up and im just having my morning shake x the wi tomorrow is def making me feel really positive whoop x so no temptation today x I live for sundays it feels like waiting for my birthday x just wish i could tell a difference in my clothes x oh well early days x
 
Hi LeaE I have just read you're diary :) well done you lady! We started around the same time (but I'm doing 810) so I hope I have lost as much as you on my first wi today (at 12 days cos I was away) stay strong! Have fun at the cinema :) I'll be doing paperwork all day after wi at CDC's at 11!
 
A
Ha kfirth good luck with the wi x make sure u pop by and let me know how u get on x
 
Heya just read your diary after your lovely comment on mine, you are doing soooooo well and keep going! Clothes wise it took me at least 2 stone to actually go down a dress size so stick with it, have loved reading your diary and its deffo not boring u sound like u have a hectic life and are doing cd for all the right reasons! Stop getting on the scales though, my hubby hid mine as I got in every and drove me mad, it is hard and if he ever leaves them out I tend to jump on! Have a lovely day and gd luck at wi tomorrow u will do great!!!
 
Ah thank u hunny and yes I just promised to stop weighing myself x I'm just too impatient lol x I'm just so amazed at how well u have done and I'm just go smacked at how far u have come x I just hope it's me one day xx
 
LeaE said:
Ah thank u hunny and yes I just promised to stop weighing myself x I'm just too impatient lol x I'm just so amazed at how well u have done and I'm just go smacked at how far u have come x I just hope it's me one day xx

If you stick with it you will be fine, I have certainly had my ups and downs but am determined to do this and so are u!!!
 
kfirth said:
Well I have been weighed and lost 13.5lbs so I'm dead chuffed :) hope our day is going well xx

Wow amazing loss well done x
 
Omg kfirth I'm in ore xxx that's literally a stone x maybe u should have gone to the loo before wi xxxxx lol wow I'm so pleased for u well done hunny xxxx I'm here if u ever need me and make sure u update me on every loss xxx
 
I will Ayesha xxx failure is not an option xxxxx thank u for yr kind words and inspiration xx
 
LeaE said:
Day 1

Hi guys wellhi to anyone thats actually reading xx
Im Lea and I have decided to write a blog to the intention it helps me stick tothis and become a lighter yummier mummy xx
I have done CD before but quite a while ago so here is my re start and hopefullythe path to sucess because i am most defo a yoyo dieter who has always been fat
Im 28 just birthday was on friday and i allowed myself one more night out andnow im banned I have two little girlies of 5 and 8 I have a fella who is a yearyounger than me mega tall and very slim very much doesnt help as he eats loadsbut doesnt put on an ounce. oh and 3 chihuahuas so a pretty busy household
I work full time ! I work nights on a sunday and monday and through the daywednesday thursday and friday. Im running around all the time and i blame workfor my bad food choice which i know is stupid as its just an excuse but its myexcuse and im sticking to it lol
I started CD yesterday at 6pm yes thats right i started the min i got weighed!! I weighed in at 19st 7lbs and im only 5'5 so not great although last time istarted CD i was 20st so thats 7lbs down already ha ha ha im clutching atstraws arent I ! anyhow i know my councellor pretty well and shes brill x Imsupposed to be on step 2 but to start with im doing ss as thats old school andhow i know it and before anyone says aaahhhh thats naughty i know i know but itworks for me and im not ill so dont worry
well its day one for me and its wierd as im on nights I didnt touch anythinglast night during my 11hr shift just water. I was sat thinking about it on mybreak and im a little dissapointed in my last supper as it wasnt somethingamazing and i wont be eating for ages but then decided its my love of yummyfatty food that got me here so i prob should get a grip
I woke up at 2.30 picked the kids up from street dance and am now sat slurpinga strawberry milkshake and kinda enjoying it ! I swear im deluded as i put myjeans on when i got up and i swear they fit better ha ha ha Im a size 20/22 atthe moment and i hate it. Nothing fits nice i look awful in everything andbuying clothes has become a fight of what shops actually stock clothes that fitme and what hides my lumps and bumps best and i find that quite sad as i hatehaving to buy new clothes.
Starting this diet has a few reasons for me
1. i feel awful mega fat mega ugly
2. to be fitter and healthier for my girls so im not such an embaressment
3. I actually fee sorry for my bf as even though he says he loves me how i am Ijust pitty him been stuck with fat me
4. I want to be healthier
5. I want to enjoy clothes shopping
6 and i know this is vain and selfish ind awful must most of all i want to feelsexy again and not just a fat lump
Please anyone reading this if you do dont think im slagging off fat ppl andsaying if your fat your ugly unsexy etc its not that at all but its just how ifeel about myself not a reflection at all of my views on other. anyhow thats myfirst blog and my first day will catch up again soon xxx

Day 2



well i have finished my night shifts and finishedmy day 2 x i have officially been on cd for 50 hours and i have managed not tocheat and considering i am in the easter holidays i think im doing well !
today has been odd as i finished work at 7.30 had 2 hours sleep and then i havebeen awake all day I picked tekids up from street dance and then took themswimming x my bf is working 4 until close which means im home alone now whichis usually when i have a cup of tea and eat loads of crap but hey im satwatching corrie with my bottle of water and almost wanted to eat something andstart tomorrow as im only in day two but no i decided u can carry on like thatforever and i would get nowhere and with the amount of weight i have to shift icant afford to screw up
for some reason i tend to over think stuff and when im on this diet i thinkabout it far too much its like im obcessed
to be in a healthy bmi i need to lose 9st 7lbs wow that is a massive amount andis totally radic and seems kind scary amount to have to move so i decided i amdef aiming for 15stone first so i have 4st 7lbs to move first
i then continued to think about clothes, the fact everything i wear looks awfuland even though i feel less bloated nothing looks better then as to how radicit is im saying that after 2 days lmao thenas to i cant wait to drop dresssizes but how hard it will be to dress once stuff isnt my size in my wardrobeand then as to how i could alter clothes or shop in charity shops and primarnyand how i will always need at least jeans and a black pair of trousers
see all the stuff that goes round in my head is just mental and thats just asnipet
I have avoided jumping on the scales and also checking if im in ketosis x ifeel a little rough but nothing major have drank plenty of water and have hadmy shakes
When im struggling i have been reading through ppls blogs and diarys most havebeen an inspiration but i read one about a woman who was on and off the planand hadnt lost a great deal which made me almost fall off the plan but downed aglass of water and came to my senses
I feel a little bit disappointed that no one has read my post or commentedwhich i understand as this blog is dull and just me moaning and airing off sodoesnt make great reading but oh well hey
well im watching tv now and enjoyed a lovely soak in the bath then im off tobed i just hope i dont wake up again a million times for the loo again
roll on day 3

DAY 4

well itsday 4 and ppl were right its getting abit easier im not hungry and im gettingused to not eating meals with other ppl x Im amazed at how good my bf has beenas he has cooked more meals for the kids than he usually does so means im awayfrom it all x Its odd i think how you can not be hungry all day and evenstruggle to it 3 cd packets in yet the minute i smell certain food i get a bighunger crave mental ! well yesterday i felt i had shrunk and today i feel likei havent boo but still hanging in there x I tried the porriage today the pecanand maple and wow is that sweet made a change i suppose but wont be buying manyof those x I weighed myself yesterday even though i said i wouldnt and im only2lbs fatter than the last time i tried cd well when i gave up so hopefully wontbe long until im back there
Its crazy really because i cant wait to be in the 18st bracket and i mean thatsstill fat but i love to watch myself go down the stone brackets wonder ifanyone else does that or is it me that has cambridge COD
anyways i mixed up my banana milkshake this morning with more water than itstates and it was alot better i cant believe how sweet stuff is on this diet xi gotta admit i miss food i miss take aways and chocolate and a nice cup ofmilky tea but all i keep thinking is its that what got me here so get a grip x
I seriously cant wait until sunday to get weighed and to have completed a fullweek x i do obviously care whati will have lost but more so i just want to do afull week and stick to it x right im off x mums cooked homemade apple pie forthe kids so heres the next challenge comming up ha ha ha nah im fine i want tobe thinner too much to cave in just yet x

DAY 6

Yawn im sotired this morning but yesterday i had a late night and was very over emotionalso im not so suprised x I cant believe tomorrow is weigh in day x I was sofocused on it and excited through the week but now i feel more relaxed about iti think its because i have come to terms with the fact this is going to bequite a long journey with alot of weekly weigh ins so its going to be one ofmany x well day 6 hey x in my previous posts i have said alot of negativecomments about me being fat and why i want to change it but i was thinking ...thats all abit harsh i do have positives too one of which is my drive and willpower as to do this diet you need to have alot x not all ppl could do 6 dayswithout food and just fluid so im quite happy especially with the diet i havemoved away from and was familiar with x have had support from 2 ppl who havebeen so nice to me and they are two total strangers x both havent got as muchto lose as me but still how lovely of them to do that x I have a small constantperiod pain in my stomach but no period so thats odd x i dont get periods as ihave the implant and thats what it does to me but for some reason going intoketosis makes me bleed excess have checked with my cdc and doctor both say imfine so will just have to cope witht that if it happens again x anyway onwardsand upwards x off i go to get through my day 6 x wellyou all wouldnt believe my day ! we went swimming in barnsley as i was justabout to get in the ppol i came on my period ! no tampons mmm so i bought some! disaster avoided then as i was a bad planner and only had one shake so fartoday i swam and played and i went extreamly faint my eyes blacked out ! sodowned some water ! disaster number 2 avioded then on the way home on themotorway may i add my exhaust fell off my car omg and we were miles away fromhome soooo i whipped off my bra burnt out the wires and used it to tie theexhaust up allong with my little girls shoe laces and we got home ! disaster 3sofened but not sorted until the mechanics are back at work tuesday omg Im nowhome and usually after such stress i would give in especially given myunpredictable emotions atm x and to make matters even more testing my bf andkids just ordered a chinese wow talk about a testing day ! well onwards andupwards !

DAY 7

whoop isurvived a week on this diet whoop whoop and i know its pathetic but im bloodyproud x had my weigh in which has been great as keeped me motivated with itbeing easter yeah x I lost 10lbs and an inch off my waist so pretty happy x Ibought a shaker today to make doing this diet on the go abit easier and i madea popadom out of a oriental chilli soup and really enjoyed it was nice it feltlike a little bit of luxury spesh been easter and not been able to have a bitof chocolate x anyway todays been great just a shame im on nights tonight andtomorrow but after yesterdays downs its nice to have an up day he he he mycousin starts the diet tomorrow so least she will motivate me abit well thatsif she sticks with it she has 3 stone to lose so hope she does in time for thewedding x I dont think i will reach my 1st goal of 4st 7lbs by the 1st of junebut im going to give it a dam good try x at work tonight im going to try and getsome urine sticks as there is something satisfying about seeing your in ketosisx anyway 1 week down bring on week 2 x

Day 8

yawn yawnyawn xx I was on nights last night and had a hotchocolate with my shake it gotme through ! working easter and the monday is rubbish as i cant do alot with mygirls spesh seen as the car is now broken Im a little bit suprised i have lasted untilday 8 but now im used to it doesnt seem like too much of a hurdle this diet !To be honest im a little sad with myself now that I have allowed myself to getto his point in my life ! Its all my fault andnothing I can blame on anyone oranything else and all this im doing now is because of years of wrong doing !Thinking about being on this diet for months and months scares me to death butat the same time its something i need and want to do ! on average it is saidyou lose a stone a month and if i want to get to a normal size thats 9 stone soat least 9 months ! That takes me right through to christmas ! Time does fly iknow that but these last 8 days have sempt long for me as its something i havehad to think about all the time as not to slip up ! They say it gets easier andtime passes faster as you progress on this diet so hopefully that will be thecase for me
Im really sad about my weight and its not something i admit to anyone easily ithas an effect on every aspect of my life and something i really want to change! I feel a little bit down today maybe because its totm im not sure but im justreally fed up of wishing i was a few stone lighter and a size 16 as that feelsa million miles away right now as im still a size 20 x read on here how fastppl are dropping dress sizes and just wish it was me x maybe when i start tosee results from this diet it will get easier and i wil stop going to bed on anight dreaming of feeling slim and attactive x anyhow i better tidy the housecook tea and jump in the shower as that usually perks me up a tad spesh beingon nights again to night ! Im not going to lie not eating chocolate has been reallydifficult over easter spesh not even one mouthful

Day 9

well day 9and im stil here x totm still so abit fed up with that but still sticking inthere x I jump on the scales every morning which is a bad habbit i really needto kick as as of sunday i havent shifted an ounce and last week i watched theweight drop off every day oh well hey x Im off work tonight and cant wait justto chill out with my bf as im tired and missing my home and bed after twonights but im proud i survived another set of nights on this diet so all shouldbe easier this week x I have to say i am seeing changes with myself and thisdiet x up until now i have been terribly obccessed with this diet thinkingabout it every min of every day 24/7 thats why i need to write on here and readall about everyones stories but now im starting to chill out a little bit anddare i say its seems a little bit easier x im not under any illusion its goingto be easy from now but i def feel more calm about it all x my car is stillbroken and i miss my car and i need to take the kids swimming later x its 1 pmand i have just had my 1st shake i had a banana one and i quite liked it allmixed up in my shaker x might have the porridge later x the porridge is a funnyone i dont mind eating it but cant say i love it x maybe in time i will xxright off i go with the rest of my day xx

Day 10

well itsday 10 and yesterday and today i dont feel any thinner x Its hard as many pplon here do after a short time but i dont infact i feel fatter than ever hopeits because its the time of the month and im hoping that ends soon xx im notdetered though im still on this 100% as i have to lose weight sticking to thiseither way and any weight off is some weight off and better than what i was xIts been really hard as im upset with my friend atm x Over the past year i havebeen there for her as she was single i always made sure i didnt leave her outand that i was thereto support her ! now she has met a guy and she has justscrewed me over tbh i havent seen her in over a month she blagged off coming tomy bday and well quite frankly she has made me feel betrayed ! this put me onabit of a downer as i find it hard to loe someone i love but im trying not tohink about it a great deal as stuff like this could knock you off this diet adits not happening x i weigh myself in a morning now and i havent lost in 2 daysi checked my pee and its only very mild ketosis which i dont understand as ihavent changed what i am doing at all but oh well like i said im still stickingwith this as i want to be a size 14 I will be happy when im a 16 tbh but iwould like to aim for a 14 x my mum was dieting but saw her yesterday and shehad McDs and had eaten an easter egg so i guess not x maybe the time isnt rightfor her right now I think when i have done this a few weeks and she can see achange in me she will come do this with me x I dont blame anyone for me beingfat as i believe we make our own choices in life but my mum has a real badrelationship with food and i feel i was influenced this from a very young age xi have always been fat and i can remember when i was young on a friday night mymum would buy loads of choc and junk in and we would gorge out on it ! she hasalways been a yoyo dieter and so have i again from a v young age and she put meon diets from about the age of 8 but they would never last ! This in turnscares me as i deff dont want that for my children so it makes me reallyconcious ! we go to my mums for fish and chips on a friday and she pushessweets and treats on them even when they say they dont want them i even butt inand say no she said she isnt bothered of which she over rides me and continuesto hound them about having something ! Thankfully they arent here on a fridayanymore as they have a seaside house to go to so it removes that problem x
well here i am on day 10 and on day 2 i would have never thought i would behere x many ppl say on here that time flies on this diet but it hasnt for me xi think its because i cant wait to have done a month 4 months 7 months on thisdiet so to be only in week 2 it all just seems a million miles away spesh as ucant tell i have lost a ounce yet x my bf doesnt notice a change in me even ifi lost 4 stone but its a drive as i know the min he sees a change i will havelost alot and def must look different x Had porridge this morning and it made anice change although i blow it up all over the microwave so lost some calsthere x x
Read a diary of a woman on here that worked with a complete witch at work whoknocked her throughout al her cd journey and i think hats sad ! why wouldanyone not be pleased for someone making such a positive change to there life ihonestly wish i had her number so i could ring that nasty lady and give herexactly what for ! I think ppl just feel threatened by fatppl losing weight andjealous i have had some negative comments and i just think its pathetic x mytheory is they feel comfortable while your fat as they dont feel they have asmuch of a problem but the min you start losing weight they feel thay might haveto self reflect and they dont feel as safe x
your diary is great! Are you in Barnsley? I work there! Well done! Keep on x

Your blog
 
Thank u vadey it's just so moody and moany lol I just have to write stuff down to get it off my chest and deal with stuff as I'm awfully moody on this diet lol x
 
Oh and no I'm from Rotherham but worked at Barnsley hospital for a while x
 
Yeah roll on bed time vardy the kids are driving me mad today and my house has def suffered from the holidays its a right tip just tidied upstairs yet again for the 100th time this week lol and no im not kfirth u deserve the praise im so so so impressed you must be so proud of yourself xxx
well this is the 2nd part of my day 13 and Im doing ok everyone on here is so kind and im not sure words can express how greatful i truely am x I havent really struggled this afternoon and its prob because its wi tomoz and i really look forward to it x sunday monday are usually ok as im happy from my weight loss and im on nights so keep pretty busy its just the rest of the says that drag abit x My bf has gone to work now just dropped him off so its me and the kids for the rest of the night but hopfully I will have an early night as my night shifts start tomorrow and my love affair with my bed will have to be put on hold for 2 nights well till tuesday night actually lol The night has got tidying downstairs cook tea for the kids bath Britans got talent then bed ahead of us and with one more shake due i think i have day 13 in the bag lol Im no longer on my period lol grafic details i should prob leave out so feeling alot calmer although i must admit at times im having to conciously think about calming my mood as not to have a hissy fit at ppl when they easily irritate me or eat food as this diet has sent me a little senile x The kids are back at school monday so back to organised week which im looking forward to it as the holidays have been complete kaos for us and like i said my house needs the break x
Oh and its the grand national my bf loves a little bet so he has forced me to pick a horse so i know nothing and picked one called ooohhhhh i cant remember now shockalockablah blah blah well its a long name begining with s that tok me 2 seconds to pic and it has to come in the top 5 for me to win so lets see fingers crossed but to be quite honest Im not good with luck the only luck i have is bad luck x
weeing on this diet doesnt seem to get any better i wee a million times a day loo roll seems to not last a day anymore lol
anyway thank u anyone for reading my blog and ta for taking the time to post xxxxx
 
My night sound exactly like yours! Clean tidy, hubby working and kids to bed! Lol. Where on roth are you? X
 
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