Well, what an emotional week! I last posted that I'd lost 5lb, however I then went on to go out, and somehow drinking gin & tonic, then caving in and eating, what an idiot. I spent Saturday night throwing up, not through alcohol but the oily dirty food I'd eaten. I woke up Sunday morning feeling gutted, and really disappointed with myself. Anyway I felt so bad I spoke to my counsellor, she was great! She said it was life, but that I do need to get over it, draw a line and get on with it, anyway I was fine on Sunday, but , Monday night came and my husband said he was nipping out somewhere to get some food (I don't want to say what because I don't want to put thoughts in your head) I asked him to get me some cod, thinking I can have that on SS+ even though I'm on SS. Before I knew it I was tucking I to everything else he brought home. Then hiding in the garage raiding the sweet cupboard! And again spent the rest of the night feeling I'll. Tuesday night I was working upstairs and could smell the most beautiful food! Hubby was cooking, I thought I'll carry on working until they've eaten, I left it long enough, but when ingot downstairs they hadn't eaten he had cooked the majority and left it in the pot for me to cook the side!!!!!!! Yet again I caved in, eating in the garage, eating the kids left overs, then spent the night throwing up. I was sooooo angry with myself, I was letting myself down completely, letting my sister down, letting my counsellor down, and again I had to come clean. Although this time around my counsellor was good but she was hard on me too, which is exactly what I need!!!!
I wrote a letter to my husband asking for his help and telling him what I had done, he was fantastic! Fornthe time being he is doing the cooking, shopping, wrapping food in the fridge and making sure there aren't any left overs, he's been great. I feel as though I am back on track and I really don't fancy feeling like that again, I was more scared that, that was it, game over, but it isnt and I'm just pleased that for the first time ever I have had a massive blip, been honest about it and managed to get back in track, a lesson learnt!!!!!
