Hello Lovelies
Well Friday of the Bank Holiday weekend! Mine will run slightly differently as I am working tomorrow - have a wedding at Eltham Palace, and then off Sunday, Monday and Tuesday. Woohoo, bring it on. So the recent trials and tribulations of Jezebella! It has been a somewhat stressful week. I will start with the major traumas first and work on to the less stressful stuff! On Sunday night, I was lying in bed feeling my lovely new collarbones etc as you do, and I noticed a lump quite high up on my breast. Off course I was shocked but it was after midnight and my sister was fast asleep so I didn't want to wake her. Tried to put it out of my head, but the next evening when I checked again and got my sister to have a feel, it was still there... I really started to panic, decided to give it one more day to see if it changed and then would go to the doctor. Still there on Tuesday, so called the Doctor first thing on Tuesday morning, the earliest appointment I could get was next week Wednesday, so I explained to the receptionist what I wanted to see the Doctor about and she was really lovely, told me to call back and speak to the duty doctor and they would try and squeeze me in. I called back, spoke to him and he was lovely got me an appointment yesterday afternoon at 4. By this stage though I was in complete panic mode. All those thoughts you never want to have crept in, as much as I tried to keep calm and positive, I actually felt ill!!! Left work early with more than enough time to get there only to discover the A40 was closed because of an accident, so had to take a massive very slow detour. Was now running late for the Doctor. I called them and begged they hold the appointment. Finally got there 15 min late and luckily found a park. Even better the Doctor was running 25 minutes late, so I made it on time. She was fantastic though, so caring and compassionate, because off course when I walked in, I just burst into tears. The pressure had all been a bit much, and I explained about loosing my aunt so suddenly a few weeks ago to cancer. She did the exam, and thank goodness, she said it is not a tumour or cyst, she thinks I just have lumpy boobs!! I have never been so happy to hear that! She has however got me an appointment for the breast clinic for a scan and a small biopsy, but as she put it, more to put your own mind at ease.
Sorry ladies this really is a ramble.... Then raced home, and picked up Miss Lily to get her off to Oxford, as her previous honeymoon had not resulted in pregnancy and she was howling the house down. Very good journey down, and a joy to see all the lovely cats and kittens. Here is hoping this time she does get in the family way. On the way back however, a car fire on the side of the road, and loads of smoke, then the M4 totally closed, so another massive diversion. Finally got home at almost midnight, totally shattered, but ever so greatful to be alive and with no problems.
I realise that if I had not lost the weight, I might never have noticed a lump, and if it had been something serious, it could have gone for ages with no detection. I also, felt really upset at the fact I was finally getting my life on track, and it all might have been taken away! Really makes you aware of your mortality and strengthens my resolve to live every day as best I can. I also realised that I dealt with all of this without feeling hungry or even thinking of resorting to food.
I hope you are all well and have a wonderful bank holiday. Sorry for the rant and ramble but had to get it out. Feel a bit silly for worrying my family, but I suppose better safe than sorry.
Big Kisses
Jez
xx
D
