SerenityValley
Surgically happy.
I'm sure everyone is - and I'm sure we're all in various states of beliving we'll get there. I know and believe that I will get there, finally. So I'm thinking about the things I'm looking forward to the most. There are many things, some very personal, so very glib, some very important, some very minor.
So Ii thought I'd list (in no particular order) 5 of my favourites. Would love to hear other people's too (as many or as few as you want).
Travelling without major discomfort. It's a wonderful though that I can slip into cattle class on a plane, and not be crippled. That I can sit on a bus, or the metro, without my bum taking up more than my fair share. That I can wander around an airport or train station, without feeling people' eyes on me (rightly or wrongly, I feel both invisible, and stared at by all and sunder). That I won't need to raise the armrest on a train or plane, just to feel comfortable. That I can move around, carry my case, without sweating everywhere.
Romance, I'm an old romantic really. I haven't had a gf since I was 17, and haven't kissed a girl since the 90's. All part of my social isolation, and my belief that I was worthless. Now I know at 23st 8lbs, I was never going to break any hearts and few women would look at me (I don't mind this - I am sure that part of the reason I got so big, was a self-defense mechanism). But as I approach my goal, I truly hope that I will start to experience all the things I have missed out on. I am even starting to believe that I will at some point meet someone. It's one of my major reasons for losing weight. So for now, I'll look forward just to kissing someone and them wanting it.
Meeting new people. Largely because it's such a lovely, whimsical thought that I can meet people who will never know that I was ever fat. How amazing, after an entire life as a fat bloke, to be able to meet people as a thin man. I am very excited by that. Of course, I won't hide who I was, because who I was is part of who I am. (I will talk about who I am at another thread soon). I intend having fat pictures on my fridge, on my screensaver, possibly tucked away in my desk at work.
Sport. I love football - I have only played a few times in 20 years. I am too old for full sized football but I'd love to get a few years of 5-a-side before I'm too old. I'm also intending playing basketball at some point - a sport I haven't played since I was 15 - I was rubbish asanything but it was fun. I'll be able to swim properly again, and I'll take up running. I have it in my mind that I will train and run the great north run this year or next. I haven't run since I was in my teens, unless it was for a bus.
Confidence. This is something I'll go into further at another time. I grew up and lost all my self-confidence, all my self-esteem, all my hope. In the last 12+ months I have begun a process that has changed my life entirely. I'm gaining confidence all the time. I've made so many friends since i began the process of re-socialising myself. I have three very clsoe friends, and people ranging from close, to acquiantence and am finally developing a knack of making friends. It was hard to accept that people actually liked me and that I don't have to be perfect for everyone. So this year will be my year of confidence, where I do the things I want to do, where I feel happy because I have a right to feel happy.
So Ii thought I'd list (in no particular order) 5 of my favourites. Would love to hear other people's too (as many or as few as you want).
Travelling without major discomfort. It's a wonderful though that I can slip into cattle class on a plane, and not be crippled. That I can sit on a bus, or the metro, without my bum taking up more than my fair share. That I can wander around an airport or train station, without feeling people' eyes on me (rightly or wrongly, I feel both invisible, and stared at by all and sunder). That I won't need to raise the armrest on a train or plane, just to feel comfortable. That I can move around, carry my case, without sweating everywhere.
Romance, I'm an old romantic really. I haven't had a gf since I was 17, and haven't kissed a girl since the 90's. All part of my social isolation, and my belief that I was worthless. Now I know at 23st 8lbs, I was never going to break any hearts and few women would look at me (I don't mind this - I am sure that part of the reason I got so big, was a self-defense mechanism). But as I approach my goal, I truly hope that I will start to experience all the things I have missed out on. I am even starting to believe that I will at some point meet someone. It's one of my major reasons for losing weight. So for now, I'll look forward just to kissing someone and them wanting it.
Meeting new people. Largely because it's such a lovely, whimsical thought that I can meet people who will never know that I was ever fat. How amazing, after an entire life as a fat bloke, to be able to meet people as a thin man. I am very excited by that. Of course, I won't hide who I was, because who I was is part of who I am. (I will talk about who I am at another thread soon). I intend having fat pictures on my fridge, on my screensaver, possibly tucked away in my desk at work.
Sport. I love football - I have only played a few times in 20 years. I am too old for full sized football but I'd love to get a few years of 5-a-side before I'm too old. I'm also intending playing basketball at some point - a sport I haven't played since I was 15 - I was rubbish asanything but it was fun. I'll be able to swim properly again, and I'll take up running. I have it in my mind that I will train and run the great north run this year or next. I haven't run since I was in my teens, unless it was for a bus.
Confidence. This is something I'll go into further at another time. I grew up and lost all my self-confidence, all my self-esteem, all my hope. In the last 12+ months I have begun a process that has changed my life entirely. I'm gaining confidence all the time. I've made so many friends since i began the process of re-socialising myself. I have three very clsoe friends, and people ranging from close, to acquiantence and am finally developing a knack of making friends. It was hard to accept that people actually liked me and that I don't have to be perfect for everyone. So this year will be my year of confidence, where I do the things I want to do, where I feel happy because I have a right to feel happy.