Lost & Found... Map Gone AWOL!

[Bess]

Thanks... needed. Yesterday didn't go according to plan, my turn to fall face-down in the mud. Today not much better. Will get a grip and report back tomorrow, promise.
xxx

Just read the kind message that you sent to me, it helped so much when I fell off last week. Sleepy's just written on my diary that as long as there are more forward steps than backward ones we will get there - and we will. xxx
Wales is going great guns now, she's inspiring me as well. All that left over curry will be gone by tomorrow - why are left overs so delicious?- and then it'll be easier. xxxx Hugs Katy xx.

 

[Katycakes]

And the GU chocs have gone as well.

xxx

:cry:

 

[Wales]

Big hugs Katy xxx

 

[Bess]

And the GU chocs have gone as well.

xxx

:cry:

No surprises there then.....:hug99:! No matter, onwards, ever onwards. xxx

 

[DisneyParis]

Hugs to you Katy.

well l didn't manage to stay on track over the weekend - joined in with what my husband & the kids were having. Roll on the start of a new week.

 

[*butterfly*]

Hey Katy, hugs.... Guess we all lost our wings there for moment. Never mind, we'll glue them on each other and hope it lasts for a bit longer. The good days you have had have outweighed the bad ones recently xx

 

[Katycakes]

Thanks all... checking in for a good day today, won't mention what the scales say but it is not good. Deserved, though.

Have a sore head so paracetamol & then a hot choc shake and a dog walk to get me moving & wake my brain up for a busy work day.

xxx

 

[DisneyParis]

Hi Katy, hope you feel better as the day goes on.
I've got a horrible cold, so l'm working from home today.

 

[curlywurly1234]

Hey Katy.
Today is a new day hon! Hope your feeling better after your walk..
Im feeling pretty rubbish too.. have bad cold and head.. at work and cant stop sneezing urghhh ..
Hope you have a good day hon xxx

 

[Katycakes]

Thanks guys... so far so good.

Fab walk first thing, made me feel lots better. I need to do this every day, early, think I'd get a lot more done. Back home & made a fire, hoovered, washed up, tidied round. Settled down to work. Friend called in for coffee a little while ago, made myself a coffee 'latte' with half a toffee walnut shake. Just had bar for lunch.

Will just keep on keeping on.

Dis, hope your cold is better soon... and yours, Curly. Big hugs, both.

xxx

 

[Bess]

How are you doing Sweetie? xx Snow/ice and stuff too? xx

 

[Wales]

When I am driving to work I see people out walking their dogs either on the racecourse or towards the river and I am so jealous that I am not them! Hope your day carried on well. Let us know how you got on.

Big hugs xxx

 

[Katycakes]

Thanks...

Day went downhill rapidly, making 3 binge days in a row. Am so gutted, and feel so stupid. Here I am yet again to start from scratch, and get it right this time... work, walk, shakes. I could cry, but you guys show me it can be done and that helps... a little. Going for one good day, see how I do.

xxx

 

[Wales]

Morning lovely Katy, don't be too hard on yourself. Have a good day, enjoy your walk and work. Big hugs xxx

 

[Bess]

Thanks...

Day went downhill rapidly, making 3 binge days in a row. Am so gutted, and feel so stupid. Here I am yet again to start from scratch, and get it right this time... work, walk, shakes. I could cry, but you guys show me it can be done and that helps... a little. Going for one good day, see how I do.

xxx

Come on Sweetie, we've stopped the wagon and are waiting for you, for as long as it takes. We all know just how you feel too. We can do this together and we are all getting there even if we take backward steps from time to time. At least we are all pointing in the right direction........( I have a vision of you standing by the Loch with dog, hands deep in coat pockets facing the other way and feeling useless.) So turn around, see us all on the wagon, or nearly so, waving to you, calling to you and come and join us, I'm not leaving you behind, so start walking.

I wondered about something which I might try later. The CD packs are, well in packs, portioned out aren't they? I wondered if the same approach might work to normal food in the early days. Even if it's not prepared and needs cooking....
Putting to one side in the fridge/pantry all that day's food, while the spirit is strong(ish), which for me would in the morning.

Now if the munchies get us we can, if we choose to (after 'The Pause',) eat what's in our daily ration, or we can eke it out for the day....but when it's gone, it's gone, like SS. My downfall comes when I stand in the pantry door or with the fridge open, eyeing up likely victims. I might try this when the time comes to add in food in case it could help. Might it help you too?

We need rules just at the moment, until we can trust ourselves again (will I ever?) I think.

So come in, take your coat off, get the fire lit (probably the otherway round!) Kettle on, have a hot drink or porridge/shake and work for a while...sending you lots of virtuous 'goody two shoes' SS hugs and I'll come and see how you are later. xxxxx

We are just parked outside, with the wagon waiting....all the time in the world but we aren't leaving without you. xx

 

[Tummy Tamer]

Cry ???? why ??? because you have lost 47lbs ???? Hey, sounds like you have a lot to celebrate. So you had three days of scoffing, the good thing is you recognise it's not what you really want and are "never going to give up" Telling yourself you "feel stupid" and "could cry" is the kind of carb junkie talk that keeps the carb lust a comin'. Remind yourself of your achievements and how far you have come. Think about all the unhappy overweight people sitting in cafes stuffing their faces today whilst still feeling self conscious and unhappy but not having the guts to face the issue and wrestle with it. You are not these people. You are someone who is facing it and fighting for what you really want and deserve. Maybe something is bothering you in the back of your mind, you are close to goal, success can be un nerving, maybe it's making you wobble. Remind yourself you are worth it and you deserve it. Relax, have a bath, light candles, watch a film, paint your toenails, or just sleep. Be kind to yourself, you are not, not, stupid, bit of a slip up, no need to panic, all is repairable, there's plenty of time, relax and congratulate yourself for not giving up. Well done on what you have achieved so far.You are your own proof it can be done and you inspire me.

 

[Katycakes]

Between the big hug from my wagon-perched pals and the tough love from TT, I really did have to wipe my eyes. Thanks, both of you, so much.

Bess, I have edged my way up onto the wagon again, will sit quietly in a corner and hope, hope, hope I can stay put this time. I do know you are all there and waving, and I want to be up there with you but my brain & my body are both rebelling and it scares me. Haven't walked dog yet as it's wet, halfway between mist & rain. Will try for a lunchtime walk, perhaps with friend... likely to go further.

TT, thanks for your lovely words - felt like a good shake, but in a nice way, and was what I needed to hear.

I do feel so disheartened though, seem not to have made any progress since last May and be forever fighting to stay at target or repair damage of binge days like the last three. I know that self-pity is ultimately damaging, but I cannot work out where this compulsion to self-destruct has come from. Forget KD's warning to watch out for the 'bus that might run you over', I think I just got hit by a steam roller.

I wish, wish, wish I could do SS, even for a little bit, but think I am BMI 25. something, so not a good plan. I am trying a different tack today, 4 shakes and a protein meal... so I can have a shake soon I think. Was up at 4, first shake at 6.30. I know so many people have struggled getting back into the zone, and yet have done it, so surely I can do it to.

And Bess, would never turn my face away from you guys except from shame... hang on, I'll be there, promise.

xxx

 

[Jessica Rabbit72]

hey Katy the others have said it so wisely and alot better than I could say - but as TT said - you have still lost 47lbs and I have been thinking about you alot over the last few days as I know you have been struggling too but you have to give yourself a massive hug and think that you are succeeding because you have learnt something -

think about it -
you say you havent learnt anything but you have because okay you have put a little bit of the weight on you lost - but its minimal in the grand scheme of things and people say that the average 'normal' person who is not dieting will fluctuate within 7lbs depending on TOTM etc and you are near enough doing that -

ok not exactly how you would like but you have learnt something because you always stop it before it goes totally out of control - unlike me who has put it all back on bar 1lb!!!!
and thats because I just couldnt stop the binge days and I was emotional eating -

FFS I have put 10lbs on since 4th Jan when it was meant to be my restart!!!!
enough about me

you are maintaining quite nicely from where I am standing and are keeping a check on your weight which is always a good sign that you are mindful and everyone has a few binge days - but with you having a bmi of 25 then you are 'HEALTHY'.

You are always my inspiration and I hope I can maintain like you when I get this weight off once and for all.

Hugs as always
xxx


We will get there

 

[Bess]

Cry ???? why ??? because you have lost 47lbs ???? Hey, sounds like you have a lot to celebrate. So you had three days of scoffing, the good thing is you recognise it's not what you really want and are "never going to give up" Telling yourself you "feel stupid" and "could cry" is the kind of carb junkie talk that keeps the carb lust a comin'. Remind yourself of your achievements and how far you have come. Think about all the unhappy overweight people sitting in cafes stuffing their faces today whilst still feeling self conscious and unhappy but not having the guts to face the issue and wrestle with it. You are not these people. You are someone who is facing it and fighting for what you really want and deserve. Maybe something is bothering you in the back of your mind, you are close to goal, success can be un nerving, maybe it's making you wobble. Remind yourself you are worth it and you deserve it. Relax, have a bath, light candles, watch a film, paint your toenails, or just sleep. Be kind to yourself, you are not, not, stupid, bit of a slip up, no need to panic, all is repairable, there's plenty of time, relax and congratulate yourself for not giving up. Well done on what you have achieved so far.You are your own proof it can be done and you inspire me.

Wow, this is good.

you are maintaining quite nicely from where I am standing and are keeping a check on your weight which is always a good sign that you are mindful and everyone has a few binge days - but with you having a bmi of 25 then you are 'HEALTHY'.

Jess has a very good point you know! The lowest I'm prepared to go (11st) is only just within BMI 25 by a whisker.....I know we are all different and you may feel you want to be lower but isn't the main reason for you too, to be fit and healthy? whether you think so or not, you must be lovely and slim right now you know. xx

 

[Bess]

Just looked at Lelly's last post and she says that the scales are up after carbs at the weekend, but isn't panicking about it, she's just going to eat sensibly this week. Maybe you are getting understandably too scared too easily? ( I would too.)