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Lovely Leanne's Loser Diary!

#1
I've been here before a few times but am doing this properly and I'm not stopping until I reach my goal now. I'm not following anything specific, just healthy eating, more exercise and a positive attitude* where I tell myself that I CAN do it, no matter how long it takes or how hard it is. Nothing in life that is worth anything comes easy.

My weight loss journey so far has been rather up and down. My highest weight was 17st 12lb. I got down to around 14st 7lb via weight watchers in 2009, but then gained much of that back through 2010 ending up at 17st 5lb at the start of August 2010. I started seeing my gorgeous boyfriend on August 15th 2010 at a weight of 17st 1lb. I've done a few bits and bobs of dieting since then and got down to 16st 5lb by December 31st 2010. My challenge for 2011 was to reach a goal weight of 10st 9lb which puts me approx 1 stone lighter than him. I HATE being heavier than him - especially since he is so fit and active. So, on January 1st I started a new way of eating. I currently weigh 15st 4lb after losing 17lb in January then bouncing up and down by 2lb for the last month (VERY frustrating!).

However, undeterred by this fact, I intend to attempt to lose 10lb in March, 10lb in April and 8lb in may, giving me a further 2 stones off by June 1st. This would take me to 13st 4lb - pretty exciting stuff if I can do it. I have signed up to my first 5k run on June 12th so need to be ready to run that! From then I aim for 7lb per month until the end of the year, giving my my goal weight by December 2011 :)

I plan to record my journey here (even on days I can't be bothered) by tracking my food, exercise efforts and losses as I go along. I won't be posting everything I eat - just more, was I good or not! Hoping to make friends along to way to share my journey and to encourage me along - especially anyone who has as much to lose as me!!

Thanks,

Loser Leanne :)


(*this is optional depending on how it's going!)
 
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#2
hello and welcome :)

just want to wish you lots of luck on your weight loss mission :D

I REstarted for the umpteenth time 2 weeks ago, this time for the last time definately!..and am following the same plan as you and it is working!!!! :)

I too have a slim and active husband, who never puts on weight :rolleyes: and as I said on my diary, we look like the number 10 when walking together :8855:...so NO MORE :)

I look forward to following your progress and chatting with you :D
 
#3
Thanks RainbowRose - it's always a bit nerve wrecking waiting for someone to talk to you! Glad to know I'm not the only one who thinks I look rather unsuited when out with my love. I HATE being bigger than him :( Looks like you're doing fab so far - hope my first few weeks are just as successful. Got Pancake Tuesday tomorrow and a few bits of rubbish tonight, so starting for definite Wednesday foodwise and already on it as far as the exercise goes - been doing at least 30 mins 5 times per week for two weeks - weight has not budged though! Looking forward to seeing you progress too! xxx
 

Pink!

Silver Member
#4
Heya, welcome to the site :)
I think you're going about it the right way by taking your time with it. There's no use losing all fo the weight in the space of a couple of months, only to put it back on again, it's a change for life and all that blah.
The run sounds like great motivation :) I want to take up jogging, but I'm nervous about being crap.
Anyway, hope you're having a good week so far :)
 
#5
Thanks Pink. I absolutely am crap and look ridiculous jogging (and managed to get a shin split after 2 weeks so am stuck not running at all for a few weeks) but I just figured that I couldn't care what other people thought of me trying to run (and looking like I needed a priest let alone a protein shake most of the time!!!) otherwise I;d never get out there.

Slow and steady does it I guess but it's frustrating when you want to be the beautiful swan already and you're just the fat ugly duckling :(

Good luck to you too hun - we can ALL do it - we just need places like this because we know it's so much easier when we share this hard journey! And boy does it get hard!!!
 
#6
Well, I am enjoying my final 'non healthy eating' day before starting 40 days (to coincide with Lent) of having no sweets, crisps, chocolate, cakes or bread. So far, I have had a kit kat and two - yes TWO apple danishes from Morissons. I also have a curly wurly for later and some flumps. NOT a healthful day in any way, shape or form. Later I am off to my lovely parents for home made (read: calorific) Mac and Cheese and Pancakes! By the end of the day I expect to have gained a stone and feel fit to burst ;) Please note this is rather unusual for me and is a last blow out before I get back to the business of pig to twigging. Planning to enjoy myself thoroughlly and start as off 6am tomorrow with my 40 day run of good health, good food and LOTS of good exercise. My 40 days finishes on Sunday 17th April by which point I intend to have lost one whole stone of this horrible weight. Dear readers, wish me luck (especially with the scales tomorrow after todays binge!!!). xxx
 
#7
Hiya

oooh what lovely treats you are having for your final blow out :eek: In my former life (lol) I would have joined you :8855:

BUT now I am feeling committed and its a big :nono: no no to those foods!

Lots and lots of luck for your weigh in, I am looking forward to 'seeing' you disappear before my very eyes :)

Take each day as it comes, and as you know from experience the 1st day is the hardest..then there will be no stopping you! :D

p.s. Enjoy today, then say goodbye to it! ;)
 
#8
Your Last Day sounds very much like a normal day for me in my previous life :8855:

As Rose has so sensibly put it, enjoy it, then say goodbye to it.

Wishing you loads of luck and look forward to reading about your progress :)
 
#9
Day one has arrived! Quite excited about the next 40 days (how sad am I?!) and the losses it will bring. Ended up having to put a new starting weight on my signiture (oops!) so I am starting at 15st 6lb and in 40 days I would like to be 14st 2lb - a total loss of 18lb - a bit of a challenge I know but I am confident I can achieve it if I really put my mind to it. This would, additionally, mean that I had lost 2 stone in total since January 1st AND that I had lost 3 stone (well 2st 13lb!) since meeting my lovely boyfriend back in August. Pretty good goals I think. If I can get a good loss in week one to kick start things, I think this is a totally doable thing.

Did an hour on the crosstrainer last night as some kind of compensation for the piggy day (though to be fair I had planned to do that anyway!). Felt pretty lousy after all that crap yesterday actually - which is a good thing I think!

So, from today, for Lent I am giving up; Chocolate, Sweets, Crisps, Bread, Biscuits and Cakes.

Weigh in will be each Wednesday morning. I am the Mistress of my own Universe and I can TOTALLY do this!!!
 
#10
How odd that I feel this need to write to a bunch of total strangers who probably are not interested and just don't care about my musings in order to achieve a goal which has thus far taken me half of my life. To say 'this time I mean it' seems a con - since I've said it before, yet here I am, 5 stones too heavy, still bulging at the seams, still feeling like life would be easiy, happier, nicer if only I could look in the mirror and like what I see, or have the confidence in myself to stop doing and saying things which make it clear I am not. These are unattractive qualities and they are not who I am inside. I'm a positive person, full of life and joy. I'm busting to get up off this fat ass and live life. I want experiences that most people only ever think about or talk about - but I want to be the one doing them. I want to dress up for a night out and feel good about myself. I want to be the happy, healthy girl I know is in here somewhere...and I feel scared in case I don't achieve it - in case I give up again or nothing happens and I get frustrated and decide it's not worth it.

But I KNOW how worth it, it would be. My life isn;t a bad life. I am blessed with a home, friends, a job I like (mostly) and a family who love me. I have met a wonderful man and although it's still early days, I feel like he could be someone very special - and he likes me as I am. But all those doubts, the inner chatterbox (I call her Lorraine) and the lack of self confidence and esteem, makes me feel that I am not good enough, not pretty enough. I don't feel like I am enough to hold onto these things in my life that I love so much. This is down to several factors, the main one of which is the weight I know. I was bullied as a child, I experienced trauma as a child and I responded with food. Food is all I know. It's all that has ever been there with me all the way through. But so what? Other people get bullied, deal with terrible things in their lives and don't get to this size. And the truth dawns that this is MY fault. I am this way because of ME and ME alone.

Well it might feel like a con but so be it because this time I DO mean it. I want to get married, have a family, experience life and LOVE life. I want to climb mountains and ride a bike across some far away land. I want to walk and run and explore and I want to do it all knowing that I don't have to let fear of my fitness, my body weight or my ability get in the way. If I want to do it, then I have to make it happen. If I don't choose this path now, I'm choosing the life I don't want.

I choose the life I know I will love.
 
#11
You sound wonderfully positive and you are definitely in the 'zone', so to speak so I have no doubts you will achieve all you are determined to.

Best of luck to you :D and if you ever feel like you're having a wobble (and we all have them, we're only human!) re-read what you've just written in that last post :)
 
#12
You sound so determined, I really don't think you will fail, I share the same worries and fears, I can't look at myself in a mirror, want and need to be healthy, wear nice clothes, feel attractive etc THIS time is your last time (me too :eek:) and we will all do it, and be healthier and happier because of it :)

I chat away on my diary (a lot!!! :rolleyes:) and it really helps. I write about my feelings, fears and expectations and even declare my weight :eek:..something my own family don't even know!
Although everyone starts of as a stranger to you, I feel connected to a few online friends on here already, as we all understand and support one another and all want the same outcome for ourselves and each other :)

Stay on track, keep reading, keep posting and travel with us all on the road to success :D

Good luck :)

p.s. good advice Maisie :)
 

Pink!

Silver Member
#13
Your 'priest not protein shake' comment honest to goodness made me 'ha!' out loud in my room!

You seem to really have the right attitude! You can definitely do this! And you know what, you can still enjoy food! I'm descovering all of these amazing, healthy foods, that I never even considered before. I love broccolli, I can sit and eat a plate and really enjoy it, who knew? Home made soup? I'm in love with that! And I really enjoy standing around in the kitchen on a sunday, with the radio on, trying some different vegetables for my soups.

This isn't a different life you're chosing, just a better one, a healthier one.
You can do it!

Ok....Hallmark should call me, they really should.
 
#14
OMG Pink - I <3 Broccoli and always have. I also love soups and find having one for lunch keeps me going a lot longer than most other stuff :)

Thanks you guys - you are so awesome and it is so empowering to know I have such motivated and supportive people keeping an eye out for me :)
 

Pink!

Silver Member
#15
HOpe you have a good friday :)
 
#16
Well, I survived the first weekend of being good food wise but may have blown it on the amout of alcohol consumed - oops :) Fab weekend though!!! Looking forward to Wednesday's weigh-in. Hope you all had a good weekend xx
 
#19
No weigh-in this morning as stayed at my boyfriends last night. Will be deferring weigh-in to tomorrow morning. Really keen to know how I have done but figure an extra day won't make a huge difference in the grand scheme of things. Feeling a bit low today though, so hope I don't blow it...
 
#20
Stay on that track girl :) think happy thoughts and how great you'll look and feel when you reach your goal :D

another day to weigh in may well mean another lb off!!!!

Good luck :)
 


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