Loz's weight loss diary

So, I finished off the junk in the house last night (I know - probably a bad move), but that's it now. I ordered a trial pack of Slim and Save online on Sunday and it arrived today (well, I collected it from the drop off point thing - same difference). My plan is that I have that for an evening meal - I do not have the discipline to do a food replacement diet, I think that would drive me completely crazy! Anyway, this is a trial pack, there are 28 'meals' in there which should last 7 days - as I'm just going to have them for my evening meal, that's 4 weeks worth sorted out (though I've got a few evenings out with friends, so I'll eat normally on these, so it'll do me a little over 4 weeks). Hopefully, I'll lose weight and save money. They've sent me quite a selection. I've decided to try one of the shakes tonight - rhubarb and custard. I've never been much of a shake kind of girl, but I thought I'd give it a go. I can't really taste any rhubarb and custard in it, it doesn't really have much of a taste, but it smells like porridge. I don't dislike it - I guess I'm neutral about it. I worried it would be rather powdery but it doesn't actually taste powdery, which is a good thing.

So I've worked out today's calories and it's going to come to under 500 calories, which is pretty poor really. I know it's not too bad as a one off (hmm, maybe I could do the 5:2 diet?), but I should probably get something in which is going to bring the calorie intake up in a healthy way. I never thought I would have to say that whilst on a diet! I'll go shopping at the weekend, get some yogurt and some fruit in.

I've also ordered some inositol (I want to say 'I knows it all' every time I type that!). It's meant to be good for fertility. I also think I might have PCOS, though this has never been investigated (with regards the need for IVF, it was all his issues that we know of - he has a child with his ex and he was investigated then) as I know the GP would just say to lose weight. Inositol helps with PCOS and there is some evidence it can help slightly with weight loss. From what I've read, I can't see any negative effects so thought I would give it a go.
 
I was absolutely starving yesterday evening. As the evening wore on, though, the hunger passed and by the time I went to bed about 11pm, I wasn't hungry anymore.

I expected to wake up ravenous but was OK throughout the morning. Started to get a bit hungry about 1 but did OK. Had a lunch of about 300 calories. I was planning on trying one of the meals for dinner this evening but ended up going to a friends so ate more calories than I should have. Popped to the supermarket on the way home and bought some low calorie foods (I hate ready meals - these are kind of ready meals, like pots that you microwave, they're all about 300 calories or less, so thought I'd give them a go) for days when I don't get chance to eat at work, I can have something with a few more calories when I get home. I was going to get yogurts and some salad and fruit but I wasn't going straight home so didn't fancy leaving them sitting in the car.

Today's total is about 1700 calories, so higher than I'd like but actually, that's about 2200 calories over 2 days, which is OK - good, in fact.

Not doing quite so well on the water front but I'll work on it.
 
Good luck on the slim n save!
Shakes dont work for me, as i dont feel like ive actually eaten anything (i do have whey protein after gym but thats it)

I have been eating a lot of slimming world meals lately, decent portions, high protein, loving them.
 
I share your suspicion of ready meals but jf you find some that aren't too fatty and you like the taste they're always handy to have about especially for situations like you describe. Hopefully you get on OK with the stuff you bought, I think Id struggle with shakes and things.
 
Shakes are a little odd for meals, definitely not something I would do completely - I'm not in to shakes of any kind, I can't stand milkshakes. It was a trial pack, though, so I had no choice in what came in it. And it was more for having a low calorie option there for when I get home after work. There's a co-op on the way home from work had it had become far too easy to pop in there and get something unhealthy than make something at home. Now that temptation is gone.

The last couple of days I've not gone straight home and have visited friends after work so I've eaten at their house so I've not had any more of the meals. I'm at home today, though. I've been up doing housework like a madwoman this morning so have decided to have a break - just having a coffee and a late breakfast (I don't normally have breakfast), so I'm trying one of the bars. It's chocolate orange, it smells like it should and it looks like a chocolate bar. It tastes really good amd the texture is fine just difficult to describe. It's not hard like a chocolate bar, it's denser than a cake type bar and nothing like a cereal bar though.

I've got some 9 calorie pasta for lunch this afternoon (slim pasta or something like that) and a dolmio pouch of carbonara sauce that's about 250 calories (I would normally make my own sauce but it seems so much faff for one). Might have some soup for dinner.

I'm going to aim to weigh myself late next week as close to the end of the month as possible.
 
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The pasta and sauce yesterday was disgusting. I managed about a third of it. The texture was just wrong. I binned it and ended up having a sandwich. I still managed to keep to about 700 calories.

I tried another shake last night. I had a chocolate one. It smelt like chocolate and tasted like chocolate. It tasted much better than the rhubarb one, which I hate to admit as I can't stand hot chocolate.

Off to visit family this afternoon.
 
Considering it has been bank holiday, so I've had three days off work, I'm quite impressed with my calorie intake. I had around 700 on Saturday, 1900 yesterday and 1500 today. I'm normally much better when I'm at work and away from temptation. So to have stuck to under 2000 calories each day is pretty good for me. They weren't the healthiest of calories, granted, but I'm going to work on that at a later stage. I'm pretty impressed though that it has been days - actually exactly one week - since I last had chocolate, and I'm not missing it. If I'm honest, I've been quite surprised both at how much calories there are in some foods and in how much I can eat if I make more sensible choices.

I've decided that the 5:2 diet might be something I try. I seem to have done it this week without too much effort, fingers crossed it'll have made a difference on the scale at the end of the week.
 
So, I never thought of myself as an emotional eater. Today, I was planning on having a low calorie day, I had a lunch of about 200 calories, and was planning on having one of the Slim and Save packs for dinner. But I had an absolutely awful day at work and I left thinking I wanted to get something from the shop. I headed to the shop, knowing I would end up buying chocolate and also knowing I would hate myself for it. I did buy chocolate and I did hate myself for it. I ate about 1400 calories (!) for dinner, which is awful being as how unhealthy those calories were. So my calories for the day are just over 1600, which isn't too bad but I'm disappointed in myself for buying and eating the chocolate.
 
Feeling better today. Weighed myself 146.3kg - happy with that! This diet's not going perfectly but I've done something right with it!
 
My goal for September is to get to 140kg. It's quite a drop - 6.3kg, that's a stone. A month is too long of a time frame for me for my next goal. I want to break up this 6.3kg in to smaller pieces. My next little goal will be 143kg by Friday 15th - that gives me just over 2 weeks, and then 2 more weeks to get to 140kg. Last time, my lowest weight was 139 something so I'll be so thrilled when I get lower than that.

Anyway, today's calories amount to 824, which I'm quite happy with. I think I'm getting used to less food/smaller portions - I'm not craving food (junk food) when I come out of work now and I've only just eaten my dinner, even though I've been home for about 2 hours. And I've been drinking more water - things are definitely not as concentrated. I'm quite pleased with myself and the good changes I've made recently.

Calorie-wise, I think I'm going to aim for similar or slightly less tomorrow (it was increased slightly today as I chose to have the last beer I'd got in the house).
 
146kg!

I weighed myself late this afternoon and was 146kg. That's 1kg less than I was hoping for by the end of August - I'm happy with that!

Calorie-wise, I'm at about 1700 calories today, somewhat higher than I was aiming for. I went shopping after leaving work really late (on an empty stomach - I know - bad move). I resisted chocolate but had a few bits from the bakery and really fancied a yogurt, too.

I was thinking about my goal date last night. In one way, I want it to be as soon as possible - I want to get on with IVF and having a baby and becoming a mum - but I know if I lose the weight fast, I'll be more likely to be left with loose skin. And I know that my goal (114kg) is not my actual final goal - I ultimately want to get my BMI below 25. When it's below 35, though, I can have IVF and (if I'm lucky enough to get pregnant) will be counted as a low risk pregnancy (unless anything pops up) which would mean that I could aim for a normalised birth, ideally at home. So, my target date for my first goal of 114 kg is the 1st April 2018, which is about another 30 weeks away - that's only, on average, 1kg off most weeks (with an additional 2kg off somewhere) - that's doable, I think.
 
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I've not done too bad today, considering it's the weekend and I find it much more difficult to to keep on track at the weekend. I've had about 1800 calories. I fancied some peanut cookies but resisted.
 
I'm still craving peanut cookies - I can almost taste them. I'm being strong and resisting (I don't have any in the house - I don't have any junk food in the house - and getting them would involve a 20 minute drive to town and a 20 minute drive back). Instead, I've had a couple of glasses of water this morning and some cherry tomatoes (well, a whole bag - 44 calories!), a bit of a random food for breakfast, but I absolutely love tomatoes of any description so it's not unheard of for me to have tomatoes for breakfast when I do have breakfast.

I went in to town yesterday and quite fancied getting some cereal bars. I resisted though as I know firstly that they're not that healthy and secondly that when I start eating them, I quite often will have a second or a third. So I didn't buy any.

Except for last Tuesday (I think), I'm actually really pleased with how well I've been doing food-wise. I haven't once been to the shop after work, except for the actual supermarket where I spent about £30 - I could easily have spent that in two days at the shop after work on junk food - and I have rice pots and the like that will probably last me a fortnight or more. I will use these Slim and Save foods to have the odd very low day but this is not an avenue I want to pursue, really and won't be getting another supply.

I've got a busy afternoon planned. I'm heading to my mum's and will be spending the afternoon cooking for her. She can't cook - at most she can heat a tin of beans or bung some pasta in the microwave - so every now and then, I have a mega cooking session at her house and fill her freezer. It saves her having store-bought ready meals, which I mention previously I absolutely despise. I've only ever tried one frozen ready meal and it was absolutely disgusting. The colour was wrong, it was flavourless and I couldn't eat it. At least I know if I cook her foods, they will have veg and herbs in and have a decent flavour and won't be full of salt. I would do some for me but my freezer is tiny.

I have spent the last couple of weeks focused on reducing the junk food in my diet and as a consequence, significantly cutting my calories. I do want to start focusing on adding nutrients to my diary. I used to have a really healthy diet easily getting my 5-a-day but I don't now. I'm probably on 1-a-day most days. Realistically, I'm not going to suddenly jump to 5-a-day again, so this week I'm going to aim for 2-a-day. I also hate the idea of vitamin tablets but, now I am getting focused on things properly and the fact that I have realised how bad my diet is, I should probably start taking at least folic acid ready for getting pregnant.

I started taking the Inositol last weekend - I've remembered to take it every day this week, which I'm so proud of myself for. I'm not sure if it's me imagining things, things just happening anyway or whether it is having some effect already (TMI - I had some spotting the other day which I was so excited over - my periods are so, so infrequent at the moment, and have become more infrequent as the weight has piled on - I could have cried with happiness with it. I'm not expecting to have perfect periods after the weight loss, hence why I am still planning IVF, but if things were to miraculously improve, then I plan on looking at alternative methods which are much less invasive and much, much cheaper). Anyway, I haven't been swimming this week just in case an actual period starts. Anyway, I need to up my exercise now with having not been swimming this week. My phone sets an automatic daily target of 6,000 steps and 1 hour of activity and I will achieve this every day this week. 10 continuous minutes of these will be at a 'healthy pace' as determined by my phone (100 steps per minute which is easily at my walking pace).

So my goals for this week are:
1 - get to 144.5kg
2 - 2-a-day (fruit and veg)
3 - start taking folic acid
4 - continue taking inositol daily
5 - 6,000 steps and 1 hour of activity daily (10 minutes at a healthy pace)

My mood fluctuates between being thinking that yes, I can do this, I can lose all this weight and get down to a normal size and thinking that I can't do it, that I've been overweight/obese my whole entire life and that there is no way I'll ever lose enough weight to make a difference. I really need some steps along the way to focus on, other than just getting down to a certain weight. I might have to review the dates for some of these as I'm not sure how doable/realistic they are.

1 - 140kg - goal date 30/9 - new boots - I promised myself new boots when I re-started in January when I lost a certain amount, I never achieved and consequently never bought the boots, they are now really scruffy and I need some, so I will have to get there soon.
2 - 135kg - goal date 31/10 - new earrings. I would quite like a nice pair of studs, not mega-expensive as I would be too scared to wear them, but not a cheap pair from Claire's which is what I normally wear as it doesn't matter if I lose them whilst gardening.
3 - 130kg - goal date 30/11 - I'm not yet sure what my reward here will be.
4 - 125kg - goal date 31/12 - permission to myself to spend an as yet to be determined about on clothes shopping in the sales, as hopefully things will be somewhat loose and it will be good timing with the January sales.
5 - 120kg - goal date 31/1 - renew my expired passport - I need to give it plenty of time to get back for the start of my fertility treatment!
6 - 115kg - goal date 15/3 - unsure of reward.
7 - 114kg - goal date 1/4 - book appointment regarding fertility treatment.
8 - for my work uniform to be too loose on me
9 - to be able to wear the stacks of clothes I have which are about 2 sizes too small
10 - to be easily able to buy a pair of jeans in New Look. I know I'm probably to old to shop in New Look now (I rarely go in there, I don't like most of the clothes they have these days - I feel old!) but I was never, ever able to buy a pair of jeans in New Look when I was a teenager - they were all far too short for me and when they started doing their Tall section, they didn't go up to my size. I want to buy just one pair of tall jeans from New Look
 
Wow - didn't realise what an essay I had written yesterday!

Anyway, yesterday was the start of my weekly goals. I had about 1800 calories in total, four portions of veg with dinner, salad on a sandwich at lunch with an orange juice and the tomatoes for breakfast. I'm sure I did my 6,000 steps for the day but my phone battery died so it was sitting on my mum's fire place charging whilst I was busy in her kitchen. I took my inositol but didn't get chance to go to the shop to get any folic acid.

Today has gone well, food-wise, except for the fact that I have had bread at two meals. Actually, though, this past week I have eaten very little bread compared to usual. I had two slices yesterday (tomato bread - never heard if it before), and two slices Saturday. I can't remember when before that I had bread. Anyway, today's calories intake is about 950 calories. I had spinach with my lunch, a bottle of Tropicana multivitamin fruit juice, carrot sticks and salad at lunch, so 4 portions of fruit and veg today, and I might have an apple later if I get hungry. I've not weighed myself yet this week. I went to the supermarket after work and have bought a bottle of multivitamin tablets and have taken one already today. I take the inositol at bed time usually so am going to start taking the multivitamin tablet then. It only contains 200mcg of folic acid, but that's better than none. The only ones I could find with 400mcg in were pregnancy/conception ones which I didn't want to buy, not yet anyway. I have done my steps and time walking for the day, too.

I'm hoping for a decent loss this week and want to weigh myself in the next day or two - since I've been recording my calories in my phone (admittedly it has been for a grand total of 3 weeks), it says that this week just gone is the lowest calorie intake I've had, with an average of about 1500 calories a day, and a daily deficit of 978 calories, which is about 150 calories per day more than last week.
 
So, calorie-wise I'm at about 1800 today and have had my two portions of veg today, too. I've not eaten very well though having had two (!) donughts today.

I'm not quite there with the steps yet but I've got a few hours to go yet.
 
Steps etc achieved yesterday. I had my multivitamin and my Inositol. I'm taking them just before bed which seems to be working for me, I've not missed a dose yet.

I've just counted up today's calories, about 1100 currently, so expecting it to be below 1300 for the day. Quite carb-heavy this last couple of days. I had pizza yesterday, chips at lunch and I'm just eating pasta tonight (I started early this morning, so had an early lunch and an early dinner). I've had 1 of my 5-a-day so far and am going to have an apple for pudding.

Nearly there with my steps for the day.

I've not drank enough today, which I was getting quite good at. I had a bottle of water in the car on the way home but other than that, one coffee and a mug of water all day. Going to try and drink more this evening to, hopefully, make up for it.

I did manage to weigh myself this morning, 145.5kg which is a loss, but I was hoping for a little more - I wanted to get to 144.5 by Friday. Still, it's a move in the right direction.
 
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Just completed my steps for the day. I thought I would be brave and do some running (!) - admittedly, it was only in my dining room but it was running none-the-less. I ran one mile over 10 minutes (my phone recorded the subsequent 5 minutes brisk walking as running, too!). It says I burnt almost 300 calories, which isn't too bad for 15 minutes work. I'm quite impressed I managed to do the whole mile without stopping, and not at a bad speed either. I have just looked back at the last time I ran a mile - it was June last year, and that took 15 minutes so I'm so pleased that I've knocked a third of that time off somehow. I actually enjoyed this running - I might even feel inspired to do the couch to 5k (in my dining room of course - I don't imagine I'd like the sight of me running, I wouldn't want others to see me!).

I've just had my multi-vitamin and am starting on the Inositol.
 
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Real quick update as I feel guilty I've not updated this for a couple of days due to a family emergency.

Good couple of days regarding calories, about 550 the day before yesterday and about 1100 yesterday. Not had time to do any brisk walking but have met my time and number of steps both days. Also still had my 2-a-day and both the multivitamin and inositol.

I ended up taking an unexpected annual leave day yesterday so didn't get chance to weigh myself.

Another busy couple of days but I'm going to stick to my goals as much as possible.
 
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