Still struggling
Wow, Pooks! You're up late (or s it very early?). I woke up with a headache (I'm convinced the weather change affects my sinuses).
I know it's difficult. I keep mentioning this -- but the only time I've gotten on track and stayed there was when I doing CBT (cognitive behavior therapy). Through Lighter Life (lost about 5 stones and kept it off for some time) and then using Beck's "How to Think Like a Thin Person" (she is a leading Cognitive Behaviorist). The Beck book comes with a workbook -- you can order both from Amazon.co.uk. The "steps" might seem silly or unnecessary -- but doing as she directs is a part of the process in making a permanent change to how you relate to food and eating.
If we fix our heads -- we can lose the weight and even more importantly -- learn how to keep it off.
One of the things the book asks you to do is get a diet coach. It can be a trusted friend, personal trainer, weight loss professional, etc. it just needs to be someone you can count on to encourage and support you.
One of the most important things Beck tells you -- is that you have to "make time to diet". You need time to plan your meals, fitness, read through your 'ARCS" (Advantages Response Cards -- things you need to reflect upon: like your reasons for dieting.)
I could go on and on -- yes, I have between 2 and 3 stones I want to lose. But, I've managed to "maintain" within the 11stone zone for nearly two years. Prior to that I'd relost 2/3s of the weight I'd intentionally regained.
I had been told I probably had breast cancer and I researched my options -- a good friend of mind had been refused the option of reconstruction from her own abdominal fat because she was too thin. My BMI was 22.5, so I decided to stop working out and add some "bad" carbs to my diet, I regained at about 2 lbs a month. By the time I'd had two biopsies and got an all-clear, I was up by about a stone. Then I bump up a bit more. That was August 2010. I did Beck in 2011 from January to April and got back to a 25 BMI and maintain whilst in the US! (It works!). Then, after I got back I volunteered to be a diet coach for 2 other people (I wasn't ready to support others, I was still trying to lose and needed to learn how to maintain) -- and I changed what I was doing to support them. It wasn't ideal for me, and when they quit -- instead of going back to what had been working or me -- I was off/on/trying this, that, etc.).
Anyway, YOU need to make YOU and YOUR health and fitness a priority. It's got to be incredibly difficult for you to do this -- you have a DH, FIVE! children and a grand-baby on its way (plus a job, your housework, etc.). But, get the BECK book, get a lot of notecards -- and start by writing out on CARD #1 -- as many of the REASONS YOU WANT TO LOSE WEIGHT that you can.
If I were you I'd start with: I WANT TO BE A FIT FUN GRANDMOTHER! I WANT TO BE ABLE TO GET DOWN ON THE FLOOR AND PLAY WITHOUT STRUGGLING TO GET BACK UP, etc.
We all have a dozens of reasons to lose the weight (and keep it off)... And we keep finding more every day.
(((((BIG HUGS)))))
