messed up...

[losingit]

I seem to 'celebrate' the day after weigh in every time i'm on a diet, by binging. I tell myself i won't do it, but then i go ahead and do it anyway. I felt the urge coming on this afternoon, and resisted it and spend a couple of hours reading topics here on the forum, then the next thing i know i'm eating the following:-

4 packets of crisps (yes, 4!)
3 slices of cheese
half a cheese and tomato sandwich
a slice of pizza
2 boiled eggs (started with these thinking it wouldn't wreck my diet since they are protein... but then couldn't stop )
half a scotch egg
a few cheesy biscuits

Which is rather a lot of food for around 1 hour of eating time. I feel so embarrassed about it, especially since on here there are people who binge on a few slices of toast, the amount i just ate is rather more and a total mess up. I don't normally talk about this but i thought i'd write this up here so that i can read it again next time i want to binge, probably next Sunday, and remember how ashamed and embarrassed i am of myself and what a fat cow i am.

Feel like not bothering now with the diet at all and just 'enjoy' being fat but i know i can salvage this if i can bring my head around and get on track again in the morning, and even still lose weight next week. Sighs. Was starting to do well too, had bought some camping gear in the hopes of being fit and healthy enough to go camping with my 3 year old in the summer. I'm possessed with an eating monster which keeps breaking out and force-feeding me.... arghhh.

 

[*jenjen*]

I found I had a massive problems on a Wednesday night after the WI of that morning for the first oh say 6 weeks of doing this diet. I think it was learned behaviour from all the other diets like WW etc. I used to "treat" myself after WI where I would binge but within my points.

I had to unlearn the behaviour and look at the reasons behind it. Which I think you are taking the steps by posting your message. I also had to learn some distraction techniques which I was given after posting a similar message to yours.

Do you think you could get yourself out and about on the day you find you will have difficulties?

After a while the cravings did disappear and I now no longer get the urges to go mad on a Wednesday night.

You have worked hard to get back on track and you have acknowledged this. You've cracked the hardest part I think xxxxx

 

[losingit]

Yes, i think finding something to fill the time might help... Sunday's are usually boring days in my house which probably isn't helping. I run an online business and on Sunday's i have to send out a newsletter, which is the only thing i have to do on Sundays, it takes about an hour to do but it's one job each week that i really really hate. I think this sometimes also contributes as i eat to compensate for having to do stuff i find boring.

Maybe also shifting my weigh in day to midweek might be best as i'm kept busy during the week so less likely to binge.

I feel like i know all the answers, or i should do... but it still happens time and time again it's almost like an out-of-body experience... after i finish binging i feel like saying "that wasn't me". If only i could get away with that, hehe.

 

[GinaLangland]

Have a hug! I also use food as a displacement activity. I also eat due to boredom. We are twins in that sense. Weekends are a killer as there tends to be no structure in the day which helps when you're on a diet.

Next Sunday, try and fill it up with something you want to do. Can you give the writing of the newsletter to someone else?

Or I'll do it (seriously, I write them for my choir and enjoy it (saddo that I am!)

 

[losingit]

It's nice to see that others understand what i'm going through.

I wish i could get someone else on my newsletter, i'd pay good money for that, but it's quite technical - my business is in the financial field and the weekly newsletter involves a fair bit of maths and understanding of currency trading. Actually i don't even know what i'm doing sometimes, lol. If you still think you can help by all means come and help! Or swap with me, i'd like to write a choir newsletter it sounds much more creative and fun.

 

[Bellerine]

I feel like I have a split personality sometimes -the dieter and the demon. The demon doesn't care about weight. In fact the demon LIKES to eat naughty foods and lots of them. Of course it's the dieter who wakes up every morning to stare at an unmoving scales. But reading the diaries and posts here I think it's NORMAL to have a sub conscious objecting to the weight loss plan in particular at the early stages. so don't beat yourself up over the blip (I've been way way worse so all that food still only amounts to a minor blip in my book). The test of this and all diets is the ability to restart after the blip. I t apparently gets easier!! I know you can do it. It's worth it to give it another shot.

Belle

 

[losingit]

It's great for me to see so many people who can empathise with me on this... well, not great for all of us afflicted i guess, lol. I have had some really huge binges before, i think one positive thing about this diet is that you get quite sick if you have a binge and therefore it is harder to binge in huge volume. I have been known to eat 2 packets of biscuits, get in my car and go to the KFC drive thru and buy a bargain bucket, then go next door to McDonalds and get a big mac meal, and take it all home and eat it (in secret). Then, a couple of hours later order a pizza! So, compared to that i think i should congratulate myself on coming a long way, lol. But like i said, i don't believe it is even possible to do this if you are following a VLCD it would make you sooo ill.

I got on the scales this morning. I put on 2.5lb overnight. I thought it would really depress me but actually i'm really motivated at this point to push forward and i know that 2.5lb can go within the next 2 days if i stick to the diet strictly, most of that has to be water from the carbs.

I feel so different and motivated today, the dieter personality who wants to be slim has come back to the forefront and the demon monster eater has gone for now.

Onwards and upwards... (downwards)

 

[missjam]

oh hun... it happens to the best of us some time or other... its been done now so try not to get too worked up over something you cant change... see it as something that will make you work even harder on exante! you can do it! get straight back on it xx

 

[Bellerine]

Hey Losingit. You are going to LOSE IT - the weight I mean. Well done for getting back on plan. I found it really useful to read Cybill's diary (Diary of an Overweight woman) cos she has had lots of blowouts and still managed to get back on plan every time. Its very motivating.

Belle