Middle Wife - a cute one to cheer you up!

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by Dom1979, 5 October 2006 Social URL.

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  1. Dom1979

    Dom1979 Gold Member

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    This is truly the way life should be told to our youngsters!!!![FONT=Verdana, Helvetica, Arial]

    [/FONT]The "Middle Wife" by an Anonymous 2nd grade teacher[FONT=Verdana, Helvetica, Arial]

    I've been teaching now for about fifteen years. I have two[FONT=Verdana, Helvetica, Arial]
    kids myself, but the best birth story I know is the one I saw in
    my own second-grade classroom a few years back.

    When I was a kid, I loved show-and-tell. So I always have a[FONT=Verdana, Helvetica, Arial]
    few sessions with my students. It helps them get over shyness and
    usually, show-and-tell is pretty tame. Kids bring in pet turtles,
    model airplanes, pictures of fish they catch, stuff like that.
    And I never, ever place any boundaries or limitations on them. If
    they want to lug it in to school and talk about it, they're

    Well, one day this little girl, Erica, a very bright, very[FONT=Verdana, Helvetica, Arial]
    outgoing kid, takes her turn and waddles up to the front of the
    class with a pillow stuffed under her sweater.

    She holds up a snapshot of an infant. "This is Luke, my baby[FONT=Verdana, Helvetica, Arial]
    brother, and I'm going to tell you about his birthday."

    "First, Mom and Dad made him as a symbol of their love, and[FONT=Verdana, Helvetica, Arial]
    then Dad put a seed in my Mom's stomach, and Luke grew in there.
    He ate for nine months through an umbrella cord."

    She's standing there with her hands on the pillow, and I'm[FONT=Verdana, Helvetica, Arial]
    trying not to laugh and wishing I had my camcorder with me.
    The kids are watching her in amazement.

    "Then, about two Saturdays ago, my Mom starts saying and[FONT=Verdana, Helvetica, Arial]
    going, 'Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh!' Erica puts a hand behind her back and
    groans. "She walked around the house for, like an hour, 'Oh, oh,
    oh!' Now this kid is doing a hysterical duck walk and groaning.

    "My Dad called the middle wife. She delivers babies, but she[FONT=Verdana, Helvetica, Arial]
    doesn't have a sign on the car like the Domino's man. They got
    my Mom to lie down in bed like this." Then Erica lies down with
    her back against the wall.

    "And then, pop! My Mom had this bag of water she kept in there[FONT=Verdana, Helvetica, Arial]
    in case he got thirsty, and it just blew up and spilled all over
    the bed, like psshhheew!" This kid has her legs spread with her
    little hands miming water flowing away. It was too much!

    "Then the middle wife starts saying 'push, push,' and 'breathe,[FONT=Verdana, Helvetica, Arial]
    breathe. They started counting, but never even got past ten.
    Then, all of a sudden, out comes my brother. He was covered in
    yucky stuff that they all said it was from Mom's play-center, so
    there must be a lot of toys inside there."

    Then Erica stood up, took a big theatrical bow and returned to[FONT=Verdana, Helvetica, Arial]
    her seat. I'm sure I applauded the loudest. Ever since then,
    when it's show-and-tell day, I bring my camcorder, just in case
    another "Middle Wife" comes along.

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  3. Shrinking Nicky

    Shrinking Nicky Cambridge Diet Counsellor

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    It made me chuckle - thanks!!!
  4. Isobel1965

    Isobel1965 Gold Member

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    Awwww bless!! I love the umbrella cord!!

    Thanks for that, Dom!
  5. KD

    KD Gone fishing

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    Was Cambridge, now maintaining
    Love it :D
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