deluxemagri
deluxe magri
Well thought I'd jump on the wagon and start my own diary.
I find it quite therapeutic to winge to all you lot as my friends and family just don't wanna hear it - and I don't think they realise the personal battle I face everyday. And just the fact I can write it down I feel helps too.
I've tried all other diets and I just cant keep it up - not the plans fault - Mine!!
I'm opting for calorie counting as I find it easy as you can Google the calorie count in everything if you don't have it to hand.
I was always slim, through drug abuse and dancing....but the past couple of years I thought I could eat the same but I cant!! I've always worked in the restaurant business from waitress to assistant manager and kitchen porter to sous chef SO IM ALWAYS SURROUNDED BY LOTS OF TREATS.
At my present job I make all the homemade cakes, a finger in the bowl of icing is the norm! I have to try it right?? But this has turned me into a picker at work, a piece of cake here a slice of cheese there...I've tried to stop this picking now.
Have joined the gym and have been going for the past 3 weeks almost everyday for an hour and a half and I'm noticing nothing at the moment apart from the guilt....the guilt of eating when I haven't exercised, the guilt of just eating full stop. Sometimes I feel so guilty I throw it up - I am in no way bulimic, haven't even got the willpower for that!!! Just the guilt overtakes me and the fact I've gorged myself so much I can barely breath!!!
I'm in a very low place self esteem wise as I just feel I'm 27, my looks have gone and now I'm just preparing for getting old...whats the point of anything? No one actually, really gives a ****...so that depresses me more!!!
I know life is what you make it - and Im a very chipper person on the outside..just life is bringing me down, life and my eating habits...
Cant help feel that my life would be great if I was slim!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I find it quite therapeutic to winge to all you lot as my friends and family just don't wanna hear it - and I don't think they realise the personal battle I face everyday. And just the fact I can write it down I feel helps too.
I've tried all other diets and I just cant keep it up - not the plans fault - Mine!!
I'm opting for calorie counting as I find it easy as you can Google the calorie count in everything if you don't have it to hand.
I was always slim, through drug abuse and dancing....but the past couple of years I thought I could eat the same but I cant!! I've always worked in the restaurant business from waitress to assistant manager and kitchen porter to sous chef SO IM ALWAYS SURROUNDED BY LOTS OF TREATS.
At my present job I make all the homemade cakes, a finger in the bowl of icing is the norm! I have to try it right?? But this has turned me into a picker at work, a piece of cake here a slice of cheese there...I've tried to stop this picking now.
Have joined the gym and have been going for the past 3 weeks almost everyday for an hour and a half and I'm noticing nothing at the moment apart from the guilt....the guilt of eating when I haven't exercised, the guilt of just eating full stop. Sometimes I feel so guilty I throw it up - I am in no way bulimic, haven't even got the willpower for that!!! Just the guilt overtakes me and the fact I've gorged myself so much I can barely breath!!!
I'm in a very low place self esteem wise as I just feel I'm 27, my looks have gone and now I'm just preparing for getting old...whats the point of anything? No one actually, really gives a ****...so that depresses me more!!!
I know life is what you make it - and Im a very chipper person on the outside..just life is bringing me down, life and my eating habits...
Cant help feel that my life would be great if I was slim!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!