Miriam's Diary

Mia

Skinny girl in a fat body
I have decided to write my own diary. You are welcome to read and contribute if you want, but it's just for me to write down my water intake, my food, my cravings, my feelings or whatever for that day. I don't know if there is a special 'diary' place to put it so sorry if it's in the wrong place, but anyway, here goes :D

Finished week 1 which wasn't as bad as some first weeks I've had. Yeah I've struggled at times and the biggest struggle was tonight when I went to my mams. She'd made tattie pot - mmmmmmm one of my favourites. The family were tucking in and OMG did I want some lol. Anyway, resisted the urge and glad I did but can't stop thinking about it.

Made a lemon cheesecake last weekend which was hard for me - not to make the cheesecake, but to not lick the bowl hehehehe. This Saturday I'm making a banoffee pie so another temptation I have to face. Never mind - makes me feel stronger when I resist and I do feel good when people say "Eeeeee I could never do that" :D

Bed soon and tomorrow is another day towards slimdom x
 
Well day 2 of diary and day 9 of TS. I have still been 100% but God have I struggled this past couple of days. Been tired and quite lethargic and don't know why. Obviously been in ketosis for a while now so dont understand how I feel this way. I really really want to eat but just keep thinking of how I feel when I am slim. I am determined to keep going until I am at least a size 12.

Printed off the menu for my planned meal next Saturday. Tracey's birthday so going to Turkish restaurant. Can't wait. Going to have either fish or chicken and am going to treat myself to a glass of wine.
 
Hahahahahah ...... there's no hiding from you is there :D
 
Well, good as in I have been 100%, but it hard Shan. I have struggled for a few days and it's killing me. I am not going to cheat though. I have failed enough times and I'm not going to this time. How about you? How you doing>
 
Hi Mia! Good to see you're still resisting the temptation you will feel so much better in the morning when you wake having not broke the diet compared to that disappointment you would feel of you did!

My targets a size 12 max aswell wish there was a magic maintenance pill we could take though as for me getting there is tough but staying there is a whole new ball game :)
 
Hi Shell, welcome to my diary :D lol

Hard???? It's soooooo hard isn't it, but I have done it before and I can do it again. My ideal target would be a size 10 which I know I can get to, maintaining a size 10 is a different story though. I like food, I like going out, I like a drink - where do you draw the line, that's the hard part, finding that balance.

Shanny keeps me right though haha. If I hadn't replied she'd have been on that text like a bat out of hell. She's done so well and looks fab. Wish I had her willpower. Thanks girls x
 
Hey Mia
I was just reading ur post and it stuck a little cord with me! You mentioned that you had a meal planned for next week and also that you have been feeling hungry for some reason. Well, it was my birthday last week and I had a meal and a night out planned(whilst on total solutions). But from the minute my plans were made I felt soooo hungry. So hungry infact that I caved in!! So I started last Monday a fresh as I have no planned meals etc. I Found I felt the same before Christmas when I was planning time off plan then. It's like my brain was telling me "well ur going to eat anyway so u might as well wait and start a fresh after that!" I know that may not be your case but just thought I'd mention it! X
 
Hi Upsy-Daisy,

This meal has been planned since before Christmas so I've always known it was gonna happen. It's my birthday in 5 weeks too so know I'm gonna eat something then too. I can live with 'planned' meals, its the suprises like my mams tattie pot in post 1 that kills me :D

I WILL NOT CHEAT, I am determined and I'm not gonna do TS for 9 days and spoil it - I just feel like it hahahaha
 
Well today I made a banoffee pie for my daughter. It's in the fridge setting for tomorrow when I will put the cream on. Never touched a drop :D

Today hasn't been too hard. That's becasue I didnt get up til late which makes the day go faster. Didn't have my first shake until 6.30 p.m. and just sitting having my last one now. I don't actually want it becasue I am not hungry so I decided to have one of my Slim and Save shakes to get them out of the way. No point in eating a one which I like if I am not hungry, may as well just drink it fast to get it out of the way and its one less SnS.

Drank 2 ltrs of water today only. Coz I got up late I dont want to be drinking water late then stay up all night.

I did struggle earlier on today and wanted to reach for the food. Had words with EP and he really upset me (again) but after I sat and thought about it, well what can I do, it's his life.

Anyway, 100% again today, that's 10 days which is pretty damn good for me :D
 
Sunday today. Finished off the banoffee pie today, put the cream on fresh for today. Still never touched a drop :) - it did look nice though and I think you NEED to taste your cooking, just to see what it's like lol. But I never.

Haven't 'cheated' as such but due to the fact I need to eat, ie. feel my jaws moving, I have had 2 bars - a tesco raspberry and a SnS lemon bar. The SnS bars are only 135 cals so I don't feel too bad about it. Still only had the 3 meals so I am not gonna class it as a cheat.

Food was on the go again at mams which was difficult to resist again. I don't think the 'want' for food goes away no matter how long you are on this diet. Still, I WANT to be slim, I WANT my confidence back, I WANT to be happy with myself and if by abstaining from food for a couple of months is gonna get me there, then so be it !!!
 
Had a good day today, apart from a headache mid afternoon. Another 100% day today and feel really good with myself becasue of it. I am looking forward to my night out on Saturday, but in another way I wish I wasn't going coz it's gonna spoil my diet.

Anyway, deal with that when it comes. I have ordered another months supply today but got shakes only coz getting to the point I can't stomach the soups. I love the Tesco bars too which isn't good coz I now find it hard to eat the Exante ones !!! Trying to eat one now, and its actually quite difficult to swallow.

So, went to Zumba tonight. Booked my classes for the week. Aqua tomorrow, Zumba Wednesday, Aqua Zumba Thursday and Zumba and Aqua Zumba Friday. Might slot a swim in betwen some time too.

Won't be long out of bed, I'm tired. Tomorrow is another day - bring it on :)
 
Thanks Darcy, yeah I think I am practicing for the Olympics :) Tonight I did Aqua and swam 30 lengths so feeling pretty damn good :)

Those Exante bars are getting a bit difficult to stomach now - yuukkk, I'm going off them. I actually can't swallow them, they stick in my throat. That's what I get for buying those gorgeous Tesco bars lol.

Had my lunch at 12.30 p.m. then didnt have time for any tea. Went straight to the gym so didn't have my second pack until 8.00 p.m. and got my sawdust, ooppss sorry, bar to look forward to at 9.00 p.m. while I watch Biggest Loser.

I'm quite impressed with myself at the moment. Posted a thread on the main board about my meal out on Saturday. Looking forward to the socialising bit, just dont want to jeapordise my loss with me not being on the diet so long. First two weeks get your biggest loss then I eat !!!!

Anyway, I am rabbiting on (but hey, it's my diary and I can say what I want hahahahahah). So, another 100% looking forward to slimdom :D
 
Diary is gonna be very short tonight. Don't feel like doing it. Me and EP ended (me doing the ending) but too sad at the moment to write. Been 100% and don't even feel like eating - just feel sick to the pit of my stomach. Didn't go to the gym - had a bad head. Wish I had of now, then the night may have been different. A bit like that film 'Sliding Doors'.

Anyway, stop winging and get on with your life you fat sad bugger :D (that's me I'm talking to incase anyone reads this lol).
 
Well I've been 100% for 15 days now. Second weigh in and lost 4.75lb which is ok. My tracker is getting a bit confusing coz it won't accept halves - bit stupid for a weight tracker! I've lost 11.5lb not 12lb.

Been to the gym again tonight. Swam 60 lengths then done an Aqua Zumba class. Going tomorrow morning becasue I'm off work so hopefully still have a good weight loss next week even after my meal on saturday night. Given my scales to Paula so I can't weigh though until 9th Feb coz if I don't have a loss it will demotivate me.

Pretty tired tonight coz I didn't sleep too good last night (see last night's diary :(). Not long out of bed to be honest. Night night me x
 
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