MizKirsty - Becoming my inner skinny!

[Mizkirsty]

Hi guys.

Hope no one minds I'm gonna start writing a diary to try and stay completely focused! Also everyone here is so friendly and supportive I could do with the help

I need to become my inner skinny!! I'm 21 (on sunday!) and can never remember being thin! And I'm fed up and determined to get there!!

I've set myself a summer challenge of loosing 24lbs by 30/08!! Now on average that's about 2lb a week - I tend to average 1.5 so hoping it will keep me motivated!

I follow sw - tending to do red/green days. So far I've lost (to date) 2st 5lbs! But it's taken a year - since the new year I seem to have refocused and I've lost most of that weight this side of the new year!

Been taking alli for 3weeks but now have changed over to xenical last thur - so almost a week now xx

And so the journey will continue!!

Everyone here is so Inspiring and it motivates me even more

 

[Kes]

Hey hun,
congrats on starting your diary... it was the best thing i decided to do... although i do get a little slack on writing things down..
and to be honest when i do write my foods on here, i tend to stay focused and be good. so im gonna start putting my foods on here, and stop hiding things from people (my biggest downfall is i hide eat..)

you have done amazingly well so far... and i am chuffed to bits for you on your progress so far...

we have the same goal, and roughly the same start weight... so you know you can do it (and i know i can get to goal!!)

good luck

 

[Mizkirsty]

I think I just need somewhere I can be completely honest and lay it all bare so I can face head on - if I hide it from everyone I end up hiding it from myself!!

My oh is lovely he's really supportive but doesn't really understand - he has no idea how much I weigh and will never know in sure I'm far to embarrassed at how badly I've allowed myself get! But I'm fixing that and I will reach my goal I will!!

Last year I cheated myself by cheating the diet I'd convinced myself I was following plan and I'm sure I wasn't following it correctly 90% of the time but this year is different!

Coming on here has really helped and everyone on the xen forums have been especially supportive. I'm determined to do this I've been fat forever and I'm fed up now! I want to wear nice clothes and look good in them!!

It's great knowing someone else with similar to myself who's doing so well - thankyou!! I'm gonna have a look through your diary - hope you don't mind xx

 

[Kes]

Of course I don't mind... just don't get too bored....
I'm so with you about hiding stuff....

We should buddy up and keep each other on track..... ill pm over my email and fb....

 

[Mizkirsty]

Reading your diary is scarily familiar lol - which is great we can def keep eachother on track!
Your an inspiration youve lost so much weight !!! But it's nice to know I'm not the only one who's ever been secretive with eating!!

How have you found it loosing all that weight?! I know you must feel great - how's your journey been?! Xx

 

[Mizkirsty]

I'm actually starving and approaching that awful bout of picking before dinner!
The OH is supposed to be due home around 5pm at the very latest but has been behind schedule all day so is doing overtime to catch up but means we havent been to asda yet and therefore have nothing in for dinner - lunch was around 1pm and now im ravenous! Luckily id been doing a green day so had noodles for lunch, but can feel the hungry little monster inside of me stirring!!!

Will power please sprinkle some of your magic on me!! x

 

[Mizkirsty]

Well having a chow mein from the Chinese tonight as it's got so late now! Over my syn allowance for today but will reduce tomorrow to make up for it but starving marving gotta eat so hungry!!! X


After eating it I feel full but so disgusting - I ate the whole portion - normally I'd manage just over half but ate the whole thing tonight! It Just shows how hungry I was!!

Punishment with 5 syns only tomorrow wish me luck!! X

 

[Mizkirsty]

Jut got back from my step aerobic class (which I love - but my body hates) and extremely sweaty must have burnt a few calories!!

On with the dissertation for a bit then possibly a body conditioning class tonight (depends what time the oh gets home we need to get some shopping in!) x

 

[Mizkirsty]

O M G
I am on the verge of eating everything in sight this dissertation is driving me potty!!!! Completely off my head with references and typos and ridiculous research methods!!!

So far today ive been 100000% with the food and exercise and im beginning to waiver! This is driving me insane! Gonna go grab some fruit i think before i eat my body weight in crisps and chocolate!!!

 

[Kes]

DON'T DO IT!

Go for the fruit....

Ive found the dieting hard, I'm not gonna lie, but its only hard when I get stressed out and when I'm not in control...

Hope you are doing ok

 

[Mizkirsty]

I didn't but my fruit isn't really edible - so thrown it away! Had one jumbo snack a jack 2syns. And filling up on diet coke!! I'm just stressed out going asda in a bit so hopefully can stock up on some decent free foods!! I'm not gonna ruin today!!

I just can't wait for this dissertation to be over!! I really can't!!

How's your day been?! X

 

[Mizkirsty]

I'm feeling dead chuffed we went asda shopping and hubby wanted a meal from
The canteen I refused as nothing was sw friendly (or appetising tbh!) and we shared half a tuna sandwich and some strawberries!!
Nope I didn't even have cake!!

But I did buy a birthday cake for the weekend :s but it is my 21st!! X

 

[Kes]

your allowed cake on your 21st!!!
well done on the asda trip!!
bet you are still chuffed with that!!!!

 

[Mizkirsty]

I've chosen my favourite cake and I'm sooo looking forward to it yumm!! Lol but it's only your birthday once!

But yeah really chuffed that I resisted but have ended up having 13.5syns in total which I know is within limit but was aiming for less today considering yesterday but have decided not to put to much pressure on this week with everything so I'm loosening the reins I think!!

But otherwise im super pleased!! Thanks

 

[Kes]

prob best, as i know from experience as long as you feel under pressure you just wanna break free and break all the rules!!

 

[Mizkirsty]

I've just realised how much of an emotional eater I am!!!

Original plan - a few of the girls and I were hitting the town tonight for my birthday this week end. But they've let me down so now it'll be the hubby cinema and a meal I imagine - what a rocking 21st

But I had made a carrot cake all frosted and yummy for tonight but now noone is coming I feel like eating the whole bloody thing tbh!

:'(

 

[Mizkirsty]

I can feel the control disappearing rapidly!

A mixture of birthday celebration stress and ridiculous emotional changes I can feel the binge approaching!!

So far today I've had

W bread heb2
Light Cheese triangles (can have 4 I've had 3)

Apple,pineapple,mango
Fridge raiders (on red 2.5syns god knows on green)
Doritos I've had a few handfuls from a multi bag 6.5 (estimated)

Now for a meal out which is much easier on green cause I can have pasta Deary me screwed today up again lol!

I feel like such a pig!! Plus if I don't loose weight this month I'm sure the doc will stop the xen prescription! x

 

[Kes]

Hun, don't let today get you down... get through the weekend and what it throws at you, and if you don't lose much this month you just need to explain to your gp that it was your birthday and I'm sure they will understand.

Chin up hun... Xx

 

[Mizkirsty]

Yeah I'm hoping to sts this week and then I can aim for a much bigger loss next week!

I haven't been awful today but have had what I wanted and I have had a dessert! The moderation etc will start tomorrow thanks kes really appreciate the support!! Xx

 

[Mizkirsty]

Feeling a bit blurgh now lol think all the sugar and at is making me feel this way what have I had today!

Everything earlier!
Plus - BBQ chicken wings
Pasta (chicken bacon and chilli)
Apple Crumble and Custard

And I feel fat! I can't usuay manage a whole plate of pasta but I managed tonight!! :s