On the floor outside the school was a ripped off bit of a Bassets Liquorice packet. I walked home craving them like mad. Usually I would go in Tesco on the way home- they are usually on offer, 84p or £1. Get a bag, 1 or 2 bottles of Pepsi Max (or 6 pack of cans if on offer) and a 6 pack of mini pork pies- 200 cals each. Go home, put the baby down for nap, and eat all of it. If I wanted to feel like I was in some way 'dieting' I'd save a few allsorts, or one of the pork pies, and have that at lunch. Then I'd get the baby up after 45 mins, take her to class etc and just carry on a normal day.
I haven't done that since I started trying to change myself in December. I haven't been in the pound shop and spent £5 on stuff I'd eat on that day, nor have I gone in Iceland and bought whatever choc was on offer. I haven't bought a family box of Coco Pops and a 4 pint semi skimmed and used that as my meals exclusively, for 4 or 5 days till it ran out. I haven't gone to Asda with a tenner after work and bought anything that was on offer- multi-pack crisps, cakes, pizza, pop, feast icecream, those own-brand mars bars which are 5 for a £. And eaten it all before the next day, anything left over for breakfast. I haven't had either of my usual two breakfasts- either 4 or 5 slices of thick toast with just so much Stork margarine and marmite, or my fave one of 5-6 slices thick white bread with a layer of Stork so thick you can eat just a mouthful of it with an entire 10 slice pack of Bernard Matthews chicken or turkey. No lunches of supernoodles, beans, a few slices of bread and then a 4 pack of choc bars for pudding. No more late night snacks of a bowl of icing, made with icing sugar, cocoa, and spoons of Stork. No more eating through an entire pack of Stork in one week, or a big cheap bag of raisins in 3 days.
Ok, phew, I just needed to celebrate what I'm NOT doing rather than what I am. I did so well yesterday, up till I went home and I went nuts- in total all day I had 6 packs, one of them an S&S bar and two of them BL bars, plus my 200g veg and a tin of sardines, and a tin of tuna with some salad cream, 5 dry apricots and 2 corn tortillas with salad cream. Grand scheme of things, not too bad could have been worse. Tortillas in the bin, all soup in the bin, salad cream in the bin, no more apricots left.
New day. So far- can of Coke Zero, choc shake, 500ml water, half glass apple water.