My bestfriend tells me diet forums are dangerous!

[Sunshine Singer]

Oh my gosh!!!! This is one of my closest friends and has been for years.

When I started CD she was the first to tell me all the usual negitives that we all hear and become used to dealing with. Of course I convinced her that it was safe etc....gave her all the details.

She's been really supportive although deep down I know she doesn't approve but she sees I'm happy and so supports me.

I was having lunch with another great friend today who has been interested from day 1 and wants to join. I told her about the forum and she just loves the idea and thinks its fab!!!!

So on the phone to first friend mentioned, I decided as I'd had such a great responce from my other friend, to tell her about this forum. How amazing it is, the fantastic support, My Shrinklie Thread which has turned out to be a huge help to me........and then she started about how dangerous these sites are. How they force others to lose weight too quickly and gave it a name......forced weightloss or something...and banged on for ages about it. I was really taken aback and defended the site but she made me feel like I'm doing something wrong and dirty amost. It was bizarre.

She's not the jealous type, eats what she likes and happy with herself. We share everything together but how can such a good friend think that I would join some hidious evil weightloss forum!!!!!!

I'm posting due to being shocked but just can't believe her reaction x

 

[EllieMellie]

Do you think she might be getting confused with pro-ana websites? I can honestly say I have never felt anything but supported on this site!

XX

 

[Sunshine Singer]

Well exactly what I thought. I completly had excitedly explained all about the site, told her what it was about and the friendly support and advice....it was after that thats she started. Why do people always judge???? I hadn't told anyone about this site apart from OH and just wasn't expecting a reaction like that! xxx

 

[claira07]

i think she may be genuinly concerned there are forums out there that tell how to purge etc, maybe let her have a look when your on sometime, we are all adults here and desperate to loose weight the forum wont make us loose any quicker, we cant make it work faster. it helps and supports us the same way slimming world have a group, this is our group. you say she's not jealous but maybe she is worried that you may just end up looking better than her,
if you are happy on here and find it a help, stay and just dont bother mentioning it to her. some times friends may worry but as long as she isnt demanding you leave let her have a little moan,
but good luck with the rest of your loss xxx

 

[KD]

My Shrinklie Thread which has turned out to be a huge help to me........and then she started about how dangerous these sites are. How they force others to lose weight too quickly and gave it a name......forced weightloss or something...

Okay. For one thing, it's been proved that support from forums is really helpful for weight loss. In fact, supposedly more helpful than offline friend/family support (surprisingly).

Secondly, I think she's confused. Forced weightloss is well known on BDSM forums (so I'm told ). We don't do it it here...against the rules. No tying up, whipping or gagging allowed on minimins

Tell her you are safe with us

 

[Sunshine Singer]

Thanks Claira,

I said your words to her .... that we set realistic challenges and encourage eachother to do well but none of us can decide that we want to lose more as our bodies decide for us!!!!!
She then went on to say that it starts to get out of control....like who can lose the most weight quickest!!!!!!!!! It's annoying as we're not at all like that and the reason I'm still attached here is because it's not like that at all. :0)

Normally i'm ready with comebacks to defend CD but this was weird.

I'm not going anywhere hun, I'm staying for the long term. You're right tho, i just won't mention it to her again. I won't bother confiding in anyone but the other friend who is as excited as me about it xxx

 

[claira07]

good you stay honey, we will all support you how ever much you loose, dont worry luvvy xxx

 

[Sunshine Singer]

Thanks KD :0)

I feel I have far more support on here than I ever did at WW meetings just because we have more time on here. The WW meetings are good but you never got too much time to chat to others before the meeting started and most people never even bothered to stay for the meeting.

This site is a HUGE part of why I've stayed on track and loving CD.

I'm just off to get my whip out

xxx

 

[Luci-De-Milo]

Some people find it difficult to understand things they haven't seen or experienced. There is no forcing on here, always encouragement. In fact, when someone wants to quit, whilst people will try and make them think a bit more about it before making rash decisions, everyone is equally as supportive, because we all KNOW how hard CD is and how it isn't for everyone!

Forums are proven to be really helpful for weightloss, especially for people like me who doesn't really have anyone supporting them IRL. I think there are a lot of people who wouldn't have lasted without minimins.

Maybe you could show her the site and let her check it out herself? Only, you know, don't show her this thread perhaps haha! xxx

 

[binibikini]

You know what? An easy way to fix her opinion is give her the URL of his fab site and let her browse it herself. She'll soon see it's an amazing medium for support and love and understanding.
Also if she is worried about forced anything show her your lovely thoughtout responses to my posts last week about not wanting to start CD until I had my party-weekend out of the way

 

[Sunshine Singer]

Awwwwwww you're both right Luci and Binibikini. Eh yeah, better not show her this thread!!!! might lose my friend I'm seeing her for a shopping spree (spending money from the money tree's in the garden!). Think i'll not mention it for a bit and next time she's over I could show her.


Thanks guys.......and Binbikini that's really sweet what you said about my posts to you......altho i didn't encourage you hehehehehehe, i think i wagged my finger hehehehehe!!in a loving sort of a way tho xxx

 

[LadyB]

Oh Sunshine - I am very sorry your friend feels that way. I am sure you enjoy sharing everything with her, and you will find it hard for her not to share this part of your life.

I am sure she has got your best interests at heart. Sometimes people find any sort of change hard, and she could in some very tiny and small way feel jealous that you are having lots of support from other people. Which may also make her feel like she is letting you down and hence not supporting you enough - this may be a big stretch and I could be totally off with these thoughts!! I just wonder if it is the forum at all.

Anyway - I know everyone here is going to support me and help me through this, and I see that you feel the same.

Thanks so much for sharing this - it gives me an idea of what I will be up against!!

Day 1 starts tomorrow for me!!

Keep smiling Sunshine!

Bx

 

[binibikini]

Yeah you wagged a baby-bit but then I convinced you I was serious about it and you understood
xx

 

[EllieMellie]

What is BDSM?? Where can I find that site?? LOL! (I am joking, I promise!) x

 

[KD]

What is BDSM?? Where can I find that site?? LOL! (I am joking, I promise!) x

LOL Thought I recognised you from somewhere else

(I am joking too, I promise)

 

[Thelma]

Sunshine, you little SM minx - what other secret fetishes have you been hiding from us?! lol :giggle:

It will never cease to amaze me how negatively people view CD and our ability as adults to make a rational and informed choice about whether we do it or not. Usually it seems that this comes from a genuine ignorance about what the diet etc is all about and how it works. Your friend's reaction to weight loss forums seems to follow similar lines. I agree with the others that it may be useful for her to see the site and bathe in some of the lurve we send to each other here. :heartpump:

 

[discojen]

Is she jealous that someone else is giving you support?
That's the only explanation I can think of for this bizarre reaction!
x

 

[Sunshine Singer]

Thanks LadyB, i just haven't looked at it like that before. You really could be right you know! I've always said to others on here that sometimes those closest try to sabotage your efforts.......maybe not intensionally but you've made me think about it in another way.

I'm so sorry to post a negitive thread especially when you and others are due to start..... however you will get bombarded with others giving their opinions wether you ask or don't ask. Usually I think it's funny when people try to put me off and i just don't let them get to me. Maybe that's due to them being friends but not that close to my heart. When it's someone you love and who normally you would value their opinions.....well....lets just say it knocked me a bit.

Binbikini....and look at you now doing so well!!! hehehehhe

 

[EllieMellie]

LOL Thought I recognised you from somewhere else

(I am joking too, I promise)

Didn't think you would know it was me without my gimp mask! x

 

[Sunshine Singer]

Could be Jen...just hadn't thought of that at all till LadyB and you suggested it.

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahaaha KD, Ellie and Thelma..... LOL