my diary ~ no more CD for me
- Thread starter kati
- Start date
FatFairNForty(ish)
Gold Member
ting! I can hear that penny dropping sweetheart!! 
Hey - don't knock having good sized boobies! I love mine and hope they don't vanish into the ether - mind you - not keen on having a pair of spaniels ears either! Think I'll start saving or apply under a bazillion pseudonyms to Extreme Makeover... lol x
Hey - don't knock having good sized boobies! I love mine and hope they don't vanish into the ether - mind you - not keen on having a pair of spaniels ears either! Think I'll start saving or apply under a bazillion pseudonyms to Extreme Makeover... lol x
canireallydothis!!
Gold Member
My boobs didnt shrink, I went from a 42e to a 36F, However, Tescos do a wonderful range up to an F cup and they start from £8 for lovely bras, not massive sacks, they are really nice, and have matching kniks for £3!!!!
Plus there is 20% off at the mo!, Get yaself there!
Plus there is 20% off at the mo!, Get yaself there!
KateF
Silver Member
That thing of looking at other people and trying to get a more realistic idea of your size and self from them is a great idea.
Agree with Vicky- hurrah for large chests! (Though it sounds like your issue is more with a feeling of having been appreciated too much for your boobs by blokes who didn't value the rest of you).
There's definitely cheaper bras out there in larger sizes. Asda also do them- and even in M and S you could get a really nice one in your size for a tenner.
The diet thoughts sound like a big change- good on you for listening to your body though. Whether you go up to 790 or 1000 you can always change back if it doesn't suit you-this is still all a process of seeing what works.
Might not be on here over the weekend. Take care of yourself, rest and have a good one.
x
Agree with Vicky- hurrah for large chests! (Though it sounds like your issue is more with a feeling of having been appreciated too much for your boobs by blokes who didn't value the rest of you).
There's definitely cheaper bras out there in larger sizes. Asda also do them- and even in M and S you could get a really nice one in your size for a tenner.
The diet thoughts sound like a big change- good on you for listening to your body though. Whether you go up to 790 or 1000 you can always change back if it doesn't suit you-this is still all a process of seeing what works.
Might not be on here over the weekend. Take care of yourself, rest and have a good one.
x
Artyjoe
Regular Member
Hi Kati, I think you and I have read the same book and it had a similar feeling to me, only I am much much larger than you and the author was talking about the size that I aspired to be...very depressing!
Hang on in there, you are still in the 10's and it sounds like you are really learning some insights about yourself which will enable you to continue your journey.
Good luck - Joe x
Hang on in there, you are still in the 10's and it sounds like you are really learning some insights about yourself which will enable you to continue your journey.
Good luck - Joe x
kati
Gold Member
Thanks for all your comments and tips on where to get bras from, but Kate I think you've hit the nail on the head there. It's not good.
However tonight I have discovered how fickle men are and how a simple short skirt turns them into dribbling idiots. They can look all they want i don't care but what makes them think that because I'm wearing a short skirt they can touch??? grrrrrrrrr There was one bloke kept coming up behind me and putting his hands on me. I told my friend very loudly that if he did it one more time I was going to step back and put all my weight on his toes. For some reason he didn't do it again after that. My friend said I was pulling (ha) left right and centre but it was all just gawping and stupid comments and inappropriate touching (grrr). No one actually bothered to try and have a conversation with me.
Apparently I went home too early last week. My friend told me that the bloke she was talking to was out with a few friends and one of them came over and asked where "her friend in the silver dress" had gone. Apparently he was gutted that I'd left cos he thought I was gorgeous. What a shame. No idea what he was like. I did notice I was being stared at a lot when she was talking to him,so must have been one of those.
Mr cinema was there tonight too. I saw him pointing me out to his friends but i don't know what he was saying. Anyway, he was cheeky enough to ask for a lift home but didn't want to spare time away from his friends to talk to me so sod him. Left him there in the pub he can get a taxi home I don't care. Oh he walked past as I was talking to my friends brother in law and the look he gave me showed a hint of jealousy. (ha again) Serves him right for not giving me the attention I deserve no matter who he is out with.
My feet are sooo soooore
Joe its awful to read something like that and to compare it to yourself isn't it. It cant possibly be meant personally against you but you cant hel but take it that way can you?
Good luck to you too x
kati
Gold Member
hmm mr cinema turned up at my house after I wrote that out last night. Poor thing only had enough money for a taxi to mine but not to his house, awww. He was complaing about my attitude toards him tonight!!!! Apparently I made him look bad in front of all his friends because they thought I wanted nothing to do with him. So I told him that he was actng like that with me. No win situation I think. He'll say anything when he's drunk but I bet he'll remember none of it in the morning, or maybe he just wont admit to it. Who knows.
kati
Gold Member
i did get some sleep just didnt go to bed till 6..
It's quite sad really, he was sitting there telling me how he loves me and how special I am and all that crap and I just wanted to cry because I wanted it to be real and to be able to believe it. I should have gone out in the middle of the night and took him home before all that
It's quite sad really, he was sitting there telling me how he loves me and how special I am and all that crap and I just wanted to cry because I wanted it to be real and to be able to believe it. I should have gone out in the middle of the night and took him home before all that
kati
Gold Member
my son has just complained about my diet going out the window lately!!!! so i told him I'm going back on it on monday and I was just having a break while i was sick. So now he's going to keep an eye on me to make sure I do lol. what a sweetheart he is. (I have to say that he's making me a cuppa right now)
I've had a quiet day. Slept half the day. Had my neighbour blokey wanting to come round this afternoon but i didnt want him to so I pretended I'd lost my phone and couldn't reply to his requests. Luckily he didnt just come and knock on the door. He came round last night while I was getting ready to go out. Luckily I'd started getting ready early incase I looked silly in my short skirt and needed to find something else to wear. He told me I looked fine though so I didn't have to kick him out too quickly. His words were that I'm "a sexy wee thing" (can you tell he's scottish?).
I said something about having nothing to wear and he said I must b lying so I told him about having just lost 2 stone before so he was kind of saying ewww were you really big before. So that put me off a lot.
So now anyway he's called me a lazy dizzy cow. Very nice of him eh?
I've had a quiet day. Slept half the day. Had my neighbour blokey wanting to come round this afternoon but i didnt want him to so I pretended I'd lost my phone and couldn't reply to his requests. Luckily he didnt just come and knock on the door. He came round last night while I was getting ready to go out. Luckily I'd started getting ready early incase I looked silly in my short skirt and needed to find something else to wear. He told me I looked fine though so I didn't have to kick him out too quickly. His words were that I'm "a sexy wee thing" (can you tell he's scottish?).
I said something about having nothing to wear and he said I must b lying so I told him about having just lost 2 stone before so he was kind of saying ewww were you really big before. So that put me off a lot.
So now anyway he's called me a lazy dizzy cow. Very nice of him eh?
kati
Gold Member
well I had to make my own cuppa but he's still a seetheart since he's gone to bed an hour early to let me watch war of the worlds in peace.
I'm going to share a secret with you all about how vain I felt last night. but shhh don't tell anyone else.
Ever seen that advert here there's a gorgeous girl dancing and there's a man trying to dance near her and get her attention. Then she basically tells him to leave her alone. Can't remember what the advert is for, but I felt that good about myself. At the beginning of the night anyway. 5 hours later when my makeup was worn off and my feet were killing I didnt feel so good. But it was nice to not feel invisible any more when I go out. I didn't feel inferior to my friend who always has people coming up to her to talk to her. Oh she o the tiny waist lol. I told her about my upset over finding out my bra size and she was shocked and said I must be tiny cos even she was a 36 something. She's kind of triangle shaped though so has tiny hips and legs but a broad back. If she was the same shape as me then she would look extremely skinny, but she looks quite normal sized till you look down. I'd rather have my shape than hers to be honest, even though I'm bigger. but she is 36, single with no kids so has always had the time and inclination to look after herself, I haven't.
But anyway, for me that is a huuuuuge step in feeling better about myself. If you read the beginning of my diary you can see the first friday I was on Cd I was going out with her for the night and I had an awful time because of how I felt and how everyone else ignored me. I'm glad I started this early so I can look back and see just how much I've changed with just losing a couple of stone in weight. I actually have some confidence in myself now. Not much but some. I still need more.
I'm going to share a secret with you all about how vain I felt last night. but shhh don't tell anyone else.
Ever seen that advert here there's a gorgeous girl dancing and there's a man trying to dance near her and get her attention. Then she basically tells him to leave her alone. Can't remember what the advert is for, but I felt that good about myself. At the beginning of the night anyway. 5 hours later when my makeup was worn off and my feet were killing I didnt feel so good. But it was nice to not feel invisible any more when I go out. I didn't feel inferior to my friend who always has people coming up to her to talk to her. Oh she o the tiny waist lol. I told her about my upset over finding out my bra size and she was shocked and said I must be tiny cos even she was a 36 something. She's kind of triangle shaped though so has tiny hips and legs but a broad back. If she was the same shape as me then she would look extremely skinny, but she looks quite normal sized till you look down. I'd rather have my shape than hers to be honest, even though I'm bigger. but she is 36, single with no kids so has always had the time and inclination to look after herself, I haven't.
But anyway, for me that is a huuuuuge step in feeling better about myself. If you read the beginning of my diary you can see the first friday I was on Cd I was going out with her for the night and I had an awful time because of how I felt and how everyone else ignored me. I'm glad I started this early so I can look back and see just how much I've changed with just losing a couple of stone in weight. I actually have some confidence in myself now. Not much but some. I still need more.
kazz
Gold Member
Hi Hun, listen confidence is like a brick wall....it can take ages to put up and just a few minutes to knock down....your building it up slowly so take your time....you will get there!! Baby steps...just keep on building on how you feel now...I would love to feel like that ad.....maybe in a few months!
kati
Gold Member
I'm sure it wont be long till you get there Kazz. Should I mention that the bloke I wanted to go way was about 50? lol
But thats not the point. The point is I felt that I looked damn good, even before I went out, and you will feel that way too. I know I'm a nice person deep down but no one wants to find that uot if you look bad and feel it too do they?
i was at the bar and my friend wanted a straw so i tried to reach across and get one for her. The bloke standing in my way said to me "if you'd said I'd have got you one" and I immediately thought, would he have said that in september when I was fat? Probably, but I'd never have thought to ask. Now I know I should ask, and make a oint in asking for what I want. I might just get it!
But thats not the point. The point is I felt that I looked damn good, even before I went out, and you will feel that way too. I know I'm a nice person deep down but no one wants to find that uot if you look bad and feel it too do they?
i was at the bar and my friend wanted a straw so i tried to reach across and get one for her. The bloke standing in my way said to me "if you'd said I'd have got you one" and I immediately thought, would he have said that in september when I was fat? Probably, but I'd never have thought to ask. Now I know I should ask, and make a oint in asking for what I want. I might just get it!
