my diary ~ no more CD for me

[kati]

Hi, I'm Nikki. I'm a 31 year old single mother to 3 boys.

I kind of put on weight on purpose, I felt unattractive so I thought I might aswell look as bad as I feel. So I suppose every weightloss attempt I've had has been hampered by that. When I heard about this diet I thought it would be perfect for me because I just cant cheat on it. So far I have already resisted urges I would normally have given into on any other diet, and its only day 3!

So far apart from people on here I've only told 1 person that I'm trying this diet. She's decided to see how I do then she might try it. Call me awful if you like but I'd prefer it if she didn't, she's slightly overweight but she looks great as she is and has a boyriend who loves her just as she is too, she's pretty tall so she carries the litle extra weight she has well. Plus I'm sick of being the fat friend, I dont want to lose lots of weight and still be the fat friend. (other friends are all thin)

I'll admit that I don't seem to have as much weight to lose as many people here, but I'm quite short so it does look more. I started off at 13 stone on monday when I got back from seeing my cdc I weighed myself. I'd had nothing to eat all day so thought I cant have any extra food weight on me so it can count as my starting weight. I had actually thought I was heavier than that so she has me recorded at 13 stone 7 (she should have weighed me then it would be right) Anyway, today (thursday) I was 12 stone 8 1/2 yay! it's a great start, hope it keeps up that way.

So I've been going for 3 days, I haven't had any packs I don't like yet (dreading the banana vanilla and veg soup though, will have to make use of some recipes for them I think) and I've made sure I've had my 4 litres of water, apart from today I'm a bit behind. It's 10 to 10 and I've only had about 2 1/2 litres so far. It was busy at work though so didn't have time to drink. By the way I work with food, nightmare lol. Yesterday was bad with the temptation but today was ok.

had a headache the past 2 days but today I feel great. Tired, but good. Apart from my mouth feels ..erm..furry. It's awful. Lets hope the rest of this weightloss journey goes as well as the last 3 days!

 

[KateF]

Sounds great-well done on keeping it up so far! We must have parallel lives-
31 year old Newcastle 13 stone somethingers starting on the same day and just deciding to start a diary!

I've no scales in the house and won't be weighed til next Tuesday- can't believe i can have done as well as you already though- good on you!

 

[kati]

lol Kate thats a bit weird isn't it! I bet you will have done just as well as I have, sounds like you found a better cdc than me though

 

[IreneH]

The vanilla is great with a teaspoon of coffee in it. Good luck to the 2 of you
Irene xx

 

[canireallydothis!!]

Hiya Kati, Welcome aboard the diary room!!!

Well done on getting your fisrt 3 days over with, the first few days are the hardest.

I look forward to reading your progress x

 

[kati]

thanks for the welcome, good luck wishes and hints for the vanilla

Today has been day 4. It hasn't been a great day emotionally but a good day for the diet I suppose. I had a lot of abdominal pain earlier on so it was hard do drink any water because it was making me feel sick and faint. Still it was extremely busy at work so had to get on with it. I wasn't tempted once by any of the food there.

I had the oriental chilli for breakfast and the veg soup which was actually quite nice! I had the butterscotch for tea but cant even remember tasting that. I was busy while I was drinking it I suppose.

A friend asked me to go out with her so after much deliberation I decided to go. I didn't have a problem with going out and not drinking at all, the problem I have with going out is that I look and feel terrible. I'm like this invisible person that no one will look at or talk to. My friends will have loads of people come up and talk to them yet I get completely ignored even if my friends try to bring me into a conversaton. I think tonight is about the 3rd time I've been out since June. I used to go out regularly and enjoy myself but now if I do go I come home feeling absolutely miserable. Like tonight. I drank water most of the night but did have a couple of diet cokes. I wasn't tempted at all to have any alcohol and I took my car so couldn't anyway. cheapest night out ever though! only had to pay for the 2 cokes and the petrol there and back which wasn't much lol. It would normally cost about £20 for taxis.

The smell from the chip shop opposite the club as I left was very tempting but still not enough. I knew I wasn't hungry, I was just miserable and my feet hurt. I left my friend in there because I couldn't stand it any more. There was someone else she knew in there anyway.

I have to go into work tomorrow to from 7 in the morning. I don't want to go I want to stay in bed and hide from the world. It doesn't seem like 2 minutes since I got everything for the diet on monday but it seems like it'll be forever till I lose any weight. and oh bugger I forgot to ring the cdc to be able to see her on monday. I hope she wont mind me ringing her tomorrow since monday is the only day I can see her.

 

[DQ]

Hey Kati. Well done on going out and not cheating. Sounds like a bit of a horrid evening, which would probably have sent me rushing to the chippie, but you stood firm.

Just sending you some {{{HUGZ}}} cos I can understand the desire to be in bed and hide xx

 

[kati]

thankyou horrible feeling isn't it

 

[Mini]

Hi Kati,

You have done really well and should be very proud of yourself.

It will get easier as time goes on and I think the motivation from losing weight does help.

Sending hugs.

Hope you have a really good day tomorrow.

Love Mini xxx

 

[Libbie]

Morning Kati
Your evening sounded dreadfull,you did so well not to give in to food.
Working with food must make it extra hard for you so you are doing extra great
Hope you have a good day five
sending you lots of hugs.

 

[DQ]

Hey Kati

Just wanted to check in and make sure work wasn't too hellish for you!

 

[bigbluefurrymonster]

Still going strong I see!!

 

[kati]

Hi thaks everyone. work was ok apart from being very tired. No one should ever have to get up at 6 o clock in the morning it's just not right lol (specially when I only went to bed at 1 am!)

There was only a slight temptation at work, it's the mozarella that gets me, I love it. It's when I got home afterwards the real temptation started. I had to get food for the kids and it just smelled so nice. They were having those muller fruit corner yoghurts, which I love, and I could so eaily just get one of those. Plus in the shop I saw peanut butter chunky kitats and I was dying to get one just to see what it would taste like (never heard of them before)

But I've resisted all so far, had my soup for the day and tried making a banana muffin but that was disgusting. I don't know if it was because of the banana flavour or because I tried to cook it.

I'm not sure how much water I've drank so far. I'm guessing maybe 2 litres so a bit more to go. I have given up on the ea and coffee completely so the only things I'm having are water or soup.

I have to say, my hair and skin are feeling fantastic with all this water I'm drinking, so soft. I wish it was easier to drink though.

my head feels terrible, could just be because I'm tired. I tried having a little sleep when we got home and the kids were fed but they wouldnt let me, they kept coming to jump on me. I cant wait till they go to bed. Maybe I'll go then as well, oh i can't i need more water.

Day off work tomorrow, no idea what we're going to do. I need to go food shopping and to clean the house I think. Oh and I managed to rmember to ring my cdc so I can go and get some more food packs off her on monday after i finish work. I just hope I get back in time to pick the kids up from school!

 

[kati]

I thought maybe I'd let you all know what spurred me on to start this diet.....

A little while ago I decided t get myself some motivation to lose weight, because I feel really awful about myself. I knew I couldn't buy smaller clothes to aim for because thats never worked before, plus I'd be wondering what size to gt. too small would be unachievable, too big I'd be thinking well I don't ant to stay that size so it's not a good thing to aim for. I don't have much money really, I always have to buy cheapp stuff, like my handbag I currently use cost me £2.50. I've always wanted a radley handbag but since they're all somewhere in the region of about £100 or more I promised myself that I'd treat myself to one once I'd lost a fair amount of weight. Well that didn't work. So one day I was out shopping and decided to get one there and then. I also bought a skirt which is a size smaller then I am and gave them both to my mother. I told her I wanted her to put the bag away for me for christmas but to only give me it if I can fit into that skirt. Otherwise someone else would have to have it.

Well just after that my boyfriend dumped me and I ate and ate and put on about half a stone. So I decided I really needed to do something to stop me eating like that. It was all comfort food not because I was hungry all the tme.

So now I've found and started this diet, every time I feel tempted to cheat I need to imagine someone else opening my bag as a present on christmas day and how I would feel about that.

Also another thing I've always wanted to get but am too fat for are knee length boots. On monday night I even dreamt about going into shop and trying them on and being so excited that they fit me. I want to be able to ear some of those for christmas too.

So, there's my inspiration to be slim

 

[DQ]

So now I've found and started this diet, every time I feel tempted to cheat I need to imagine someone else opening my bag as a present on christmas day and how I would feel about that.

How awesome is that!!

 

[KateF]

They sound really good motivations and incentives!

The evening out sounds a bit rubbish- but maybe it's normal in the early stages before the results really kick in to feel worse about your weight. I know I am at the moment- and I think it's because for quite a while I tried not to think about it- whereas now I'm thinking about it all the time.

I bet you are having results already though- I tried on the trousers I wore at my weigh in last Tuesday- and they're now a bit loose round the waist hooray!

I'm going to try a muffin later- though aren't expecting too much!!

Your dream about the boots is a god sign- sounds like even your subconscious is in the right place to do this.

Well done for making it to day 6-I'm feeling chuffed with myself, hope your are too!

 

[kati]

To be honest I'm not having a good day today. I got woken up in such a bad mood and started thinking whats the point in doing this I'll never be thin etc. My head really hurts and I'm so tired I just wanted to sleep but the kids wouldn't let me they're 11 and 12 so it's not like they need me to be up as soon as they are.

I haven't cheated though. I've had 2 litres of water already and some of the spicey tomato soup. Some silence would be fantastic but that may be asking too much. I haven't really tried anything on that I couldn't get into. My jeans keep falling down but they're stretchy so don't count, they could have just stretched too much.

well done to you too on getting to day 6, it seems to have flown by.

I am dreading next weekend though, my twins birthday is then and they are begging me to take them to one of those all you can eat chinese buffet restaurants in stowell street. I don't mind not eating anything with them. I just mind that I'll probably have to pay for me too even though I wont be having anything.

 

[KateF]

Jeans falling down certainly sounds like a good sign to me!
Good days and bad days seem par for the course on this diet from what I'm reading and experiencing. They're alot about how you feel in your head and what's going on around you. In terms of the diet itself if you stick to it, every day's a good day, because your body's doing the work and just steadily losing fat. That means that if you stick to it- you will be thin!
What if you ring the Chinese if you do decide to take them and explain you're on a special diet and won't be eating but it's your twin's birthday? In fact- ring more than one if you don't get a positive response from the first.

Re, what you said on my diary- laying off exercise sounds a good idea and what they advise. I just did a 20 minute swim to see how I'd go on and it was fine. Also- yes to a shopping trip one day! Why don't we set a date or a certain amount of days (50 ish say- sounds a long time but bet it'll fly) then arrange to meet up in the Toon and buy one thing each if we can from a high street shop- and not Evans!

I admire you coping with twins and a diet. I'm single and don't have kids so I get to be selfish and do my own thing (though not always happier for it).

Hope you feel better later.

 

[kati]

sounds great. Ok 50 is days is about 7 weeks isn't it? so thats early november. and if we work on about losing 3 pounds a week (lol sorry if I sound eally sad) we could have lost about 21 pounds. so we'd both be at least a dress size smaller by then which means we're going to need something to fit us arent we lol. Great idea!

I think I will have to try ringing the restaurants, worth a ry anyway

 

[kati]

I've had an awful day. It's been the first day I've had off since I started this diet (and only one till next saturday )

I've felt so tired and weak, walking up the stairs was really hard cos I felt like I was going to pass out by the time I got to the top every time. I've felt soo tempted to eat today too. My son was practically beging me to eat a packet of crisps, my favourite ones too. I did what somone else mentioned and sniffed them for a bit then put them in the bin. But it was hard not to just eat them.

I've just remembered I have another pack left to have tonight. Not hungry at all but I supose I'll force it down. I have never really had much of a problem with eating at night so it doesn't ome naturally to me to have something this late.

I've had someone texting me all night to arrange a kind of date for next week. It's great, he's a really nice bloke, I just worry he's not going to want me if I lose weight. I jut kind of feel that anyone who likes me as I am must like me because I am overweight (I know there are people out there who just like big women so I always think they're the only type who will go for me). Is he going to think I'm weird having nothing but water? hmmmm, we'll have to see how it goes