my diet poem

Discussion in 'Creative Writing' started by devonbabe, 21 July 2006 Social URL.

  1. devonbabe

    devonbabe Silver Member

    Diet:
    CD
    thought id share this with you all
    I wrote this little poem when i first started my diet last year
    it goes like this


    Jo’s Diet

    So one day Joanna stood on the scales
    she looked in horror and started to wail

    OMG am i really that heavy?
    my arse is tiny but look at my belly!

    Im related to the michelin man
    look at the rolls I can grab in me hands

    me bras to tight, I have boobs at the back
    me knickers are lost, they've gone up me crack

    when I stand up, I cant see me minge.
    what a blimmin state to be in.

    so to the fridge Joanna did go.
    all the pizzas and chips she began to throw

    all in the bin..the icecream too
    when it was gone, she knew what to do

    she decided to go to a cambridge diet meeting
    to find out what she should really be eating

    she got on the phone to a lady who knew
    she was really nervous, but knew what to do

    turned out, wasn’t just her in a bit of trouble
    but others too, in a food obsessed bubble

    at 17 stone plus, she felt oh so fat
    but she went back home and had her first pack

    butterscotch flavor, made with crushed ice,
    she took a sip, and thought 'this is nice.

    By the end of the week, she had stood her ground
    to her amazement had lost 7 lb!

    Im gonna be thin in no time at all
    im gonna buy a dress and go to the ball

    im gonna wear short skirts, hipsters, a bikini!
    im gonna be thin...NO...im gonna be TEENY!
    Copyright©2005jomc



     
    Last edited: 30 July 2006
    Pierce likes this.
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  3. DQ

    DQ Queen of the Damned

    That was cool - like it :D
     
  4. CW Consultant

    CW Consultant Gold Member

    Years ago I needed some help
    Who do I see I felt such a welp
    I looked in the press
    I felt such a mess

    Try CD the ad said
    So I read and read
    Called I soon did
    The fat I must rid

    The girl was real nice
    came round in a trice

    Milkshakes and soups
    Lots of wees not many poops

    Results will be quick
    Sometimes you will feel sick

    Never fear CD is here
    your goal will soon be near

    Success was quickly achieved
    I have never been so relieved

    To counselling I turned
    to help those others who had been spurned

    Life can be good
    Look at it as you should
    If you want to lose weight
    your counsellor can be your bestest mate:D
     
  5. Mini

    Mini Administrator Staff Member

    Start Weight:
    18st0lb
    Current Weight:
    16st5lb
    Lost(%):
    1st9lb(9.13%)
    Diet:
    Slimming World
    Hi Devonbabe,

    Excellent! Could be describing me...

    Love Mini xxx
     
  6. Mini

    Mini Administrator Staff Member

    Start Weight:
    18st0lb
    Current Weight:
    16st5lb
    Lost(%):
    1st9lb(9.13%)
    Diet:
    Slimming World
    Hi CD Counsellor,

    That hits it on the head as well!

    I love poetry...

    Love Mini xxx
     
  7. CW Consultant

    CW Consultant Gold Member

    Hi Devonbabe,

    Lovely seeing you here how are you.

    Linda
     
  8. Pierce

    Pierce Administrator Staff Member

    Start Weight:
    13st5lb
    Current Weight:
    11st11lb
    Goal Weight:
    11st0lb
    Lost(%):
    1st8lb(11.76%)
    Badges:
    Maintainer
    Diet:
    Calorie Counting, Healthy Eating & Exercise
    Very good, for your fantastic poetry, i give my blessing of 5 stars (rate thread function at top of this page)

    Pierce
     
  9. devonbabe

    devonbabe Silver Member

    Diet:
    CD
    oh WOW!! 5 stars yeahhhhhhhhh.....thanks Peirce...how cool is that!

    hiya Linda, how r u ?

    this is a fab site, thanks for setting it up, it must have took u ages..its very clever of you.

    x
    db
     
  10. Barb

    Barb Gold Member

    Diet:
    Healthy eating/Food diary
    To Dream

    I have always dreamed I'd be thinner
    But frankly I've not been a winner
    I 've tried in the past
    But unable to last
    I've simply got bigger and bigger!


    So now I must really try hard
    I have got to shift some of this lard
    My face is alright
    And hairs not a sight
    But my figure is definately marred

    So counting my cals every day
    And exercise, that is the way
    In a matter of time
    I'll be fit and sublime
    Yes, It's only a matter of time
     
    Pierce likes this.
  11. CW Consultant

    CW Consultant Gold Member

    Well done Barb
    Remember no Carb
    Stick to the Packs
    Keep to the right tracks:D

    Linda
    CD Counsellor
     
  12. DQ

    DQ Queen of the Damned

    Like it Barb, very good! :cool:
     
  13. Pierce

    Pierce Administrator Staff Member

    Start Weight:
    13st5lb
    Current Weight:
    11st11lb
    Goal Weight:
    11st0lb
    Lost(%):
    1st8lb(11.76%)
    Badges:
    Maintainer
    Diet:
    Calorie Counting, Healthy Eating & Exercise
    Linda, i think your a poet!

    Fantastic poem Barb!

    Pierce
     
  14. CW Consultant

    CW Consultant Gold Member

    There was this woman called Lin
    Who wanted to help peeps get thin
    a new forum appeared
    by Min's son it was steered
    Now watch all the fun begin:D

    Phew need a lay down now
     
  15. Cheb

    Cheb Gold Member

    Start Weight:
    16st5lb
    Current Weight:
    15st8lb
    Goal Weight:
    11st0lb
    Lost(%):
    0st11lb(4.8%)
    Diet:
    Cambridge Diet (SSing)
    There once was a girl from Hastings
    Who used to spend whole days just tastings

    She caught sight of her bum
    Thought 'What have I done?'

    So started her life full of Shakings


    That's about my limit on the poetry front:D

    Cheb
     
  16. tpott

    tpott Silver Member

    Start Weight:
    17st5lb
    Current Weight:
    16st3lb
    Goal Weight:
    10st0lb
    Lost(%):
    1st2lb(6.58%)
    Diet:
    CD
    There once was a girl called tpott
    Who looked in the mirror and was shocked
    Her boobs were huge
    Her belly did wobble
    Now she new she was in trouble
    She phoned a nice lady from Cd
    Who gave her packs and advice
    She gobbled them up in a trice
    Lots of water she did drink
    She started to shrink
    Now she's lost loads of weight
    She feels really great and now she can see past her boobs to her feet!

    Oh well poetry was never my strong point! I don't think I will give up my day job!
     
  17. Isis

    Isis Ancient Egypt Nut!

    Current Weight:
    18st3lb
    Goal Weight:
    11st0lb
    Diet:
    Slimming World
    Just for today....

    JUST FOR TODAY

    Just for today I will try to live through this day only, and not tackle my whole life problems at once. I can do something for twelve hours that would appaul me if I felt that I had to keep it up for a lifetime.

    Just for today I will be happy. Most folks are as happy as they make up their minds to be.

    Just for today I will adjust myself to what is, and try not to adjust everything to my own desires. I will tackle my "luck" as it comes, and fit myself to it.

    Just for today I will try to strengthen my mind. I will study. I will learn something useful. I will not be a mental loafer. I will read something that requires effort, thought and concentration.

    Just for today I will exercise my soul in three ways: I will do somebody a good turn, and not get found out; if anybody knows of it, it will not count. I will do at least two things I don't want to do-just for exercise. I will not show anyone that my feelings are hurt; they may be hurt but today I will not show it.

    Just for today I will be agreeable. I will look as well as I can, dress becomingly, talk low, act courteously, criticise not one bit, not find fault with anything and not try to improve or regulate anybody except myself.

    Just for today I will have a programme. I may not follow it exactly, but I will have it. I will save myself from two pests: hurry and indecision.

    Just for today I will have a quiet half hour all by myself, and relax. During this half hour, sometime, I will try to get a better perspective of my life.

    Just for today I will be unafraid. Especially I will not be afraid to enjoy what is beautiful, and to believe that as I give to the world, so the world will give to me.
     
    Mini likes this.
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  19. Mini

    Mini Administrator Staff Member

    Start Weight:
    18st0lb
    Current Weight:
    16st5lb
    Lost(%):
    1st9lb(9.13%)
    Diet:
    Slimming World
    Copyright©2006
     
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