my diet poem


Silver Member
thought id share this with you all
I wrote this little poem when i first started my diet last year
it goes like this

Jo’s Diet

So one day Joanna stood on the scales
she looked in horror and started to wail

OMG am i really that heavy?
my arse is tiny but look at my belly!

Im related to the michelin man
look at the rolls I can grab in me hands

me bras to tight, I have boobs at the back
me knickers are lost, they've gone up me crack

when I stand up, I cant see me minge.
what a blimmin state to be in.

so to the fridge Joanna did go.
all the pizzas and chips she began to throw

all in the bin..the icecream too
when it was gone, she knew what to do

she decided to go to a cambridge diet meeting
to find out what she should really be eating

she got on the phone to a lady who knew
she was really nervous, but knew what to do

turned out, wasn’t just her in a bit of trouble
but others too, in a food obsessed bubble

at 17 stone plus, she felt oh so fat
but she went back home and had her first pack

butterscotch flavor, made with crushed ice,
she took a sip, and thought 'this is nice.

By the end of the week, she had stood her ground
to her amazement had lost 7 lb!

Im gonna be thin in no time at all
im gonna buy a dress and go to the ball

im gonna wear short skirts, hipsters, a bikini!
im gonna be gonna be TEENY!

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Years ago I needed some help
Who do I see I felt such a welp
I looked in the press
I felt such a mess

Try CD the ad said
So I read and read
Called I soon did
The fat I must rid

The girl was real nice
came round in a trice

Milkshakes and soups
Lots of wees not many poops

Results will be quick
Sometimes you will feel sick

Never fear CD is here
your goal will soon be near

Success was quickly achieved
I have never been so relieved

To counselling I turned
to help those others who had been spurned

Life can be good
Look at it as you should
If you want to lose weight
your counsellor can be your bestest mate:D
Hi Devonbabe,

Excellent! Could be describing me...

Love Mini xxx
Hi CD Counsellor,

That hits it on the head as well!

I love poetry...

Love Mini xxx
To Dream

I have always dreamed I'd be thinner
But frankly I've not been a winner
I 've tried in the past
But unable to last
I've simply got bigger and bigger!

So now I must really try hard
I have got to shift some of this lard
My face is alright
And hairs not a sight
But my figure is definately marred

So counting my cals every day
And exercise, that is the way
In a matter of time
I'll be fit and sublime
Yes, It's only a matter of time
There was this woman called Lin
Who wanted to help peeps get thin
a new forum appeared
by Min's son it was steered
Now watch all the fun begin:D

Phew need a lay down now
There once was a girl called tpott
Who looked in the mirror and was shocked
Her boobs were huge
Her belly did wobble
Now she new she was in trouble
She phoned a nice lady from Cd
Who gave her packs and advice
She gobbled them up in a trice
Lots of water she did drink
She started to shrink
Now she's lost loads of weight
She feels really great and now she can see past her boobs to her feet!

Oh well poetry was never my strong point! I don't think I will give up my day job!
Just for today....


Just for today I will try to live through this day only, and not tackle my whole life problems at once. I can do something for twelve hours that would appaul me if I felt that I had to keep it up for a lifetime.

Just for today I will be happy. Most folks are as happy as they make up their minds to be.

Just for today I will adjust myself to what is, and try not to adjust everything to my own desires. I will tackle my "luck" as it comes, and fit myself to it.

Just for today I will try to strengthen my mind. I will study. I will learn something useful. I will not be a mental loafer. I will read something that requires effort, thought and concentration.

Just for today I will exercise my soul in three ways: I will do somebody a good turn, and not get found out; if anybody knows of it, it will not count. I will do at least two things I don't want to do-just for exercise. I will not show anyone that my feelings are hurt; they may be hurt but today I will not show it.

Just for today I will be agreeable. I will look as well as I can, dress becomingly, talk low, act courteously, criticise not one bit, not find fault with anything and not try to improve or regulate anybody except myself.

Just for today I will have a programme. I may not follow it exactly, but I will have it. I will save myself from two pests: hurry and indecision.

Just for today I will have a quiet half hour all by myself, and relax. During this half hour, sometime, I will try to get a better perspective of my life.

Just for today I will be unafraid. Especially I will not be afraid to enjoy what is beautiful, and to believe that as I give to the world, so the world will give to me.