My Lighter Life Express : An open Book

[on the verge]

This is my chosen path. The path I think will lead to happiness.

I have been overweight for such a long time. But now I am determined,focused and alive. For so long I have been hiding behind my food & my loose clothing.

There was a time towards the end of senior school when i suddenly realised that I was FAT & FLABBY. I was about 15 kg overweight.

At that time I was very sporty and was n the school basket ball and net ball team. I come form a conservative family and I was not allowed to socialize very much. So once school's finished I just sat with a book or in front of the TV. This used to get me down and I would visit the fridge quite often .( I am slowly beginning to understand how it all started. )

During the last year in school I decided to loose weight and I did it in just 6 months. I lost 10 kg but carried an extra 5 kg. Daily aerobic excercises and 3 very healthy a day is all it took. I was younger and my metabolic rate was much higher. I then moved to uni.

I managed to keep that weight off during university,. Which I think was great considering that I was in an accomodation where i could not cook. But I was happy with friends and i enjoyed the uni life.
Then I moved countries and started a new job and got married. I managed to keep my weight steady.

Pregnancy promptly followed suit. I was not ready for it. I was working,preparing for new exams - as if that was not enough !

Bad planning on my part.....can't blame anyone else. Didnt like the 9 months or the labour. HAd a few complications during labour and to cut a long story short ended up not being able to brest feed. One thing I haven't gotten over yet !!
My gorgeous boy was the best thing in the world. By now I had put on quite a bit of weight. From excercising 5 days a week ( and eating what i pleased) I was not excercising at all and ate like mad to get BREAST MILK to flow !!

So gradually I got fatter, depressed. I isolated my self from friends. Did not enjoy going out to parties as I didn't like the way I looked. I think it has affected my relationship with the family. I have ended up in this MESS!

My little boy is very sporty and he wants me to go running with him.

So after a long thoughtful week....after spending a long time reading articles from this forum.........I decided to take an express to weightloss. This is my journey on the LL express.

At the end of this I want to look beautiful, feel confident......I think this will help me share the love I have inside. Love that I have bottled up for fear of rejection. I want to feel free. I want to be able to go running with my son.I want to do that SKI trip.

I am determined to achieve this. I have a hectic time at work and at the moment family life is difficult. But I have made a decision and I am going to stick to it.

I know its going to be a hard uphill climb.......but the view from the top of the hill will be AMAZING!

Its day 5 on LL. Its going well. My skin has started to glow.

I can do the water. I am not hungry and don't wan to pick on food - KETOSIS IS HERE !

BUT I dont enjoy the soups. Vanilla shake with coffee and Porridge are my fav.

I hope I have not bored everyone with this long thread. Writing has helped me cleared my head. I want to pick out the issues that have led to this problem so that I can get it out of my system.

Thanks for stopping by.
I hope U have a lovely LL day !;

 

[Pymster]

Hi on the verge
Well done to getting to day 5 and staying motivated
i loved reading your story and can feel the determination in your words that you will and can do it. i am a firm believer that positive thoughts are a real help - so sweetie you are already beautiful and imagine yourself in that ski jacket skiing down that snow mountain !!!
I am starting Lighterlife tomorrow and am excited to be joining the journey with you.
good luck, cant wait to hear more on your progress
x

 

[MrsBurgundy]

Great post!!!

Loved reading your diary and can't wait to hear more about your LL journey!! You sound fantastically motivated, and determined, and your story isn't too dissimilar from mine (though i've never been sporty or active until recently!)

Good luck with it all, and can't wait to read more!!!
xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

 

[eatlikeabird]

Hi On the Verge,
You are in a really good frame of mind to absolutely succeed with LL. Keep writing, the support from this forum is amazing. I've never spent so much time on the internet...this is my first time joining a forum and its such a positive experience.

 

[on the verge]

Hello Pyemaster and thanks for the encouraging words.

Oh my ...i am trying to imagine myself sking down the slope .......but right now i get visions of a ball rolling down and an avalanche in the making. LOL !!!

I know what you mean tho. I remember going on a ski holiday a few yrs ago. It was maily for OH and my son. I could not find trousers in my size and had to get one from mens :cry:
You amy not believe this but at 89kg I tried level 1 skiing...just 4 my boy. I was scared !
I am now determined to be able to do it well by next easter.WOuld be a treat if i can try iceskating at Xmas...that may be pushig it
Good luck with ur LL. I will keep u company. Stay with it.

 

[on the verge]

Hi ELAB
Thanks

Me too. I am turning to the forum so much that worry i wont get any work done.

 

[Spanglymum]

Hello, on the verge, and good luck!! The start of a very exciting journey!

 

[on the verge]

Hi on the verge
Well done to getting to day 5 and staying motivated
i loved reading your story and can feel the determination in your words that you will and can do it. i am a firm believer that positive thoughts are a real help - so sweetie you are already beautiful and imagine yourself in that ski jacket skiing down that snow mountain !!!
I am starting Lighterlife tomorrow and am excited to be joining the journey with you.
good luck, cant wait to hear more on your progress
x

Hey Pymaster,

Have you started ur LL journey ! Hope u made it.

----------------------------------------------------------------

Its day 6 today. Felt hungry and heart burn but kept looking at thinner girls on the street and then it was all OK.

A great success with the soups today ! Finally got the hang of it.
How difficult could making soup from a packet be !? It took me a whole week and today......tada just got the proportions right !
Hmmmmm....that mushroom soup was beautiful and hit the spot ! Not sure if i remember how i made it though

Some nice dinner for the family. Ended up feeding my older boy as he was being difficult :sigh:. Tempted but did not give in to the wicked temptation.

Although it is my day 7 tomorrow WI is not until monday eve.

Tomorrow is day out for us. I have planned to eat my porridge (YUM) for breakfast and then will take a packet of veg soup and will have a small flask of hot water (just in case). Just need to remember to drink loads and loads of water.
WOndering if need to take my shake for the eve as i am not sure if i will be back in time. Will decide in the morning. It will be minestrone for dinner.
Cant wait to try out some bars next week. But wonder if it will be filling enough.

It is past 10pm and i need to get 1 L down before bed time. So i better rush off .... may read a little while drinking

Have a good night.

 

[Pymster]

Hi hun, yeah day 1 today!!!! If I am completely honest it was hard ish but as I was out last night I didn't know if it was the hangover and tiredness or the LL plan!!!! Had a vanilla shake - not bad, then chillie con carne - palatable, then asparagus soup - yuk yuk yuk still repeating on me now, then finished with a choc shake, nice!!!! My first weigh In will be Tuesday, quite glad as hopefully I will have lost some and will keep me motivated.
The boards are a real god send, very inspirational and even tips on how to make up the food packs.
I hope you lose loads on Monday and have a great day tomorrow.
Keep in touch
X

 

[Clarabow]

Enjoyed reading your diary, all the best with the weight loss x

 

[Lauriec]

Hi on the verge, I too isolated myself from friends and felt dispicable. As soon as you loose just a bit, you will feel better. Good luck with it, stay with it
lauriec x

 

[Catthin]

Welcome and good luck on your weight loss journey.Good luck for your weigh in tonight.
Cathy

 

[Pymster]

Hey otv - how did your day out go and how was eating foodpacks on the go!!!
hope all is well and good luck with WI - i am so excited for you

 

[on the verge]

Yeah today was the big day......Went it with a lot of expectations. I stuck on the diet 100%. Did not even let a soap bubble pass through my lips !! GR8 achievement for me I must add.
Lost 5.6 pounds. A little disheartened about this. Was kind of expecting 8 pounds or so as i have been really good and was thinking that the fist WI will give me a good boost to carry on. 5.6 is not bad i suppose and may be i will go good next week.

So how did my first week go ? Were there moments of weekness ?? Did i succumb ?
I have felt rather good on this diet. The only contact with real food i have is when cooking 4 the family and feeding the kids. I find not having to think about what i am going to eat today and how will i fit my low fat meal around the normal family meal is wonderful.

The week has been busy....busy...busy, Have had 2 mishaps with my packs. I usually have porridge b4 i leave home. However i rushing out to work on thursday morning and inadvertently put mushrrom soup instead of porridge and only realised after i added the water. So had to have a savory meal. You already know about the other one where i had a porridegy coffee shake !!??YUCK.

Had a day out on sunday for a school event. Was stuck with a load of parents and children in a big room from 10-5pm. Surrounded by people constantly snacking and it was very difficult when the people sitting on my table kept offering me things. The difficult bit was feeling bad that the other person may be offended. BUT for once i stuck with my plan and just had my soup for lunch and plenty of water.I think it will get easier to decline offers for food.

Good news is that - 1week down ...and a few more to go.

I am a anxious type person. Little things wind me up easily and end up losing my temper. I dont want to be like that because it makes me unhappy. I am going to try and be calm and then am angry at myself . This will be a challenge..not sure how but have got to try.
Its been a hard day and its just the start of the week........ I hope the rest of u have an exciting fun filled lighter life week ahead.

 

[LadyT]

Hiya, you have a great attitude! Keep visualising you on thar ski slope laughing and having fun, you will get there for sure xx

 

[Clarabow]

Well doneo n getting through your first week x

 

[Pymster]

Hey you
Well done 5.6lbs is amazing loss – im so proud of you
Sweetie don’t be disheartened – you cant be with that loss!!! People all lose at different rates and everyones body is different. Just think how much you have achieved in such a short space of time.
You are so good that you cook for the family – I cant even be near food I would not trust myself, also the smell would get to me !!!
Again so proud that you went out on Sunday and didn’t succumb, you are in such a great frame of mind – don’t lose it

Good luck for the coming week – I can feel you are going to have another great one!!!
Take care
x

 

[Catthin]

Well done on your weight loss stick with it and you will have a good weight loss next week.I was slow at losing the first couple of weeks for some of us it takes a while for our bosies to let go of the excess fluid and fat.Also my first week I did drin fluid up to half a n hour before weigh in.But now I dtop about 2 hours before seems to work for me.
Good luck you can do it.It really does work
Cathy

 

[on the verge]

Hello Lady T
Thanks for stopping by and showing your support.
Hope u are going good. I am loving reading your story. Haven't finished it yet. Love it so far. WHat a fantastic journey you have had. Hope ur WL is going to plan.

Yes I cant believe that I have dared to dream of this "sking down the slope" ! Feels as though i am planning to rob a bank !! But hey I can do it right ...so I will.

 

[on the verge]

Hey you
Well done 5.6lbs is amazing loss – im so proud of you
Sweetie don’t be disheartened – you cant be with that loss!!! People all lose at different rates and everyones body is different. Just think how much you have achieved in such a short space of time.
You are so good that you cook for the family – I cant even be near food I would not trust myself, also the smell would get to me !!!
Again so proud that you went out on Sunday and didn’t succumb, you are in such a great frame of mind – don’t lose it

Good luck for the coming week – I can feel you are going to have another great one!!!
Take care
x

Thank you for the encouragement ! I do need it today. I am sitting in my bed sipping st clements flavoured water. My tummy is constantly rumbling. I am feeling hungry for the first time. I am going to make it though. I really want to.

How are you doing ? Have you started a dairy ?