chicken on a mission
Restarting to lose 4stone
I haven’t done a diary thread before but thought that I would do one charting my experiences leading up to and going through management. This will lay out my most private thoughts and feelings regarding the LL process of management and my successes, trials and tribulations along the way.
In March 2006 I weighed 17st 7lbs (which wasn’t my heaviest). I know this because I started horse riding again so I had to weigh myself to find a horse that could cope with my weight. After going 4 times I gave up because I couldn’t physically do what I wanted to be able to do. It was depressing. I know I was 17st 10lbs before Christmas and went on a 2 week binge in horror so must have topped 18st. Of coarse I must have got heavier than this at 40 weeks pregnant but I don’t know how heavy I was.
On 3rd of May I had a health scare and it was thought that I had gall stones. I weighed 16st 10lbs at that time so had been successful in losing some weight since March simply by eating GI and trying to cut out the binging episodes. The health scare frightend me so much, I should have problems like this at only 33 years old so when I ranted at my new GP that the NHS had never helped me with my weight struggle, my GP was very honest and said that there was nothing he could do for me but recommended LL because of the counselling which went alongside the VLCD. I was at rock bottom and desperate so I spent a week on the internet looking into VLCD’s and trying to find a reason why I shouldn’t do it but couldn’t – apart from the expense.
Tests later showed that I didn’t have gall stones and couldn’t find anything to account for the bout of pain I had had and these never returned but this was the wake up call I needed as it was the last straw.
I started LL on 20th May and it took me 121 days to lose 5st 1.5lbs. In that time conventional food did not pass my lips although I was sorely tempted on a number of occasions. I did have 2 bars in 1 day on a couple of occasions though so I haven’t been whiter than white! I will start management on Tuesday so this will be 129 days of sole sourcing.
Although sole sourcing has been a challenge and provided a very steep learning curve, I have always anticipated that management would be the hardest part of all which is why I followed my doctor’s recommendation and chose LL. My doctor was right, I needed the structure of the LL counselling to help me tease out as many of my issues regarding food and found the LL foundation stage to be excellent for my needs because I wouldn’t have got as far as I have without the foundation stage although the development stage was of no benefit whatsoever to me. I was very very disappointed with the development stage as it was a complete waste of time, it was only the knowledge that the management stage is well worth doing that kept me on LL. If I had a load more weight to lose then I would have swapped to CD to lose the weight and then swapped back to LL for the management stage.
I will start management early next week hoping I don’t stick on too much weight when my glycogen store tops up again. I should be ok as I should still be losing fat whilst the glycogen levels slowly return to normal levels so the 2 should balance out.
My real fear is that I will have problems limiting the foods I eat as I won’t have the suppression of hunger that being in ketosis gives. This is going to be difficult - understatement of the year! My issues have not been what I eat or portion control in my normal menu, my issues are that I have used food as a drug in the evenings after my daughter has gone to bed and practised self medication when I felt unable to deal with life situations. Having said that, I will need to get used to the new sized portions my much smaller body needs. Having lost 6 ½-7 stone since March my calorie intake needs to be 150 calories less per stone lost and I have smaller plates lined up ready for my new sized dinners.
Having learnt so much about myself during foundation and put in place new habits and behaviours whislt sole sourcing I feel confident that although I won’t be able to be ‘pefect’ all the time, I will have enough control to be able to be ‘good’ most of the time and adjust my diet accordingly to reflect the times when I am ‘bad’.
I will be writing this diary in Word and then updating Minimins a maximum of once a day with my insights. The reason I say this is because the personal diary I kept whilst sole sourcing was updated numerous times a day as a new thought occurred to me. By doing it this way, I keep all my entries fresh and raw but don’t end up with a thread that has 10-15 entries for 1 day!
In March 2006 I weighed 17st 7lbs (which wasn’t my heaviest). I know this because I started horse riding again so I had to weigh myself to find a horse that could cope with my weight. After going 4 times I gave up because I couldn’t physically do what I wanted to be able to do. It was depressing. I know I was 17st 10lbs before Christmas and went on a 2 week binge in horror so must have topped 18st. Of coarse I must have got heavier than this at 40 weeks pregnant but I don’t know how heavy I was.
On 3rd of May I had a health scare and it was thought that I had gall stones. I weighed 16st 10lbs at that time so had been successful in losing some weight since March simply by eating GI and trying to cut out the binging episodes. The health scare frightend me so much, I should have problems like this at only 33 years old so when I ranted at my new GP that the NHS had never helped me with my weight struggle, my GP was very honest and said that there was nothing he could do for me but recommended LL because of the counselling which went alongside the VLCD. I was at rock bottom and desperate so I spent a week on the internet looking into VLCD’s and trying to find a reason why I shouldn’t do it but couldn’t – apart from the expense.
Tests later showed that I didn’t have gall stones and couldn’t find anything to account for the bout of pain I had had and these never returned but this was the wake up call I needed as it was the last straw.
I started LL on 20th May and it took me 121 days to lose 5st 1.5lbs. In that time conventional food did not pass my lips although I was sorely tempted on a number of occasions. I did have 2 bars in 1 day on a couple of occasions though so I haven’t been whiter than white! I will start management on Tuesday so this will be 129 days of sole sourcing.
Although sole sourcing has been a challenge and provided a very steep learning curve, I have always anticipated that management would be the hardest part of all which is why I followed my doctor’s recommendation and chose LL. My doctor was right, I needed the structure of the LL counselling to help me tease out as many of my issues regarding food and found the LL foundation stage to be excellent for my needs because I wouldn’t have got as far as I have without the foundation stage although the development stage was of no benefit whatsoever to me. I was very very disappointed with the development stage as it was a complete waste of time, it was only the knowledge that the management stage is well worth doing that kept me on LL. If I had a load more weight to lose then I would have swapped to CD to lose the weight and then swapped back to LL for the management stage.
I will start management early next week hoping I don’t stick on too much weight when my glycogen store tops up again. I should be ok as I should still be losing fat whilst the glycogen levels slowly return to normal levels so the 2 should balance out.
My real fear is that I will have problems limiting the foods I eat as I won’t have the suppression of hunger that being in ketosis gives. This is going to be difficult - understatement of the year! My issues have not been what I eat or portion control in my normal menu, my issues are that I have used food as a drug in the evenings after my daughter has gone to bed and practised self medication when I felt unable to deal with life situations. Having said that, I will need to get used to the new sized portions my much smaller body needs. Having lost 6 ½-7 stone since March my calorie intake needs to be 150 calories less per stone lost and I have smaller plates lined up ready for my new sized dinners.
Having learnt so much about myself during foundation and put in place new habits and behaviours whislt sole sourcing I feel confident that although I won’t be able to be ‘pefect’ all the time, I will have enough control to be able to be ‘good’ most of the time and adjust my diet accordingly to reflect the times when I am ‘bad’.
I will be writing this diary in Word and then updating Minimins a maximum of once a day with my insights. The reason I say this is because the personal diary I kept whilst sole sourcing was updated numerous times a day as a new thought occurred to me. By doing it this way, I keep all my entries fresh and raw but don’t end up with a thread that has 10-15 entries for 1 day!
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