My management journey

Discussion in 'Maintenance Diaries' started by chicken on a mission, 18 September 2006 Social URL.

  1. chicken on a mission

    chicken on a mission Restarting to lose 4stone

    LighterLife then CD
    I haven’t done a diary thread before but thought that I would do one charting my experiences leading up to and going through management. This will lay out my most private thoughts and feelings regarding the LL process of management and my successes, trials and tribulations along the way.

    In March 2006 I weighed 17st 7lbs (which wasn’t my heaviest). I know this because I started horse riding again so I had to weigh myself to find a horse that could cope with my weight. After going 4 times I gave up because I couldn’t physically do what I wanted to be able to do. It was depressing. I know I was 17st 10lbs before Christmas and went on a 2 week binge in horror so must have topped 18st. Of coarse I must have got heavier than this at 40 weeks pregnant but I don’t know how heavy I was.

    On 3rd of May I had a health scare and it was thought that I had gall stones. I weighed 16st 10lbs at that time so had been successful in losing some weight since March simply by eating GI and trying to cut out the binging episodes. The health scare frightend me so much, I should have problems like this at only 33 years old so when I ranted at my new GP that the NHS had never helped me with my weight struggle, my GP was very honest and said that there was nothing he could do for me but recommended LL because of the counselling which went alongside the VLCD. I was at rock bottom and desperate so I spent a week on the internet looking into VLCD’s and trying to find a reason why I shouldn’t do it but couldn’t – apart from the expense.

    Tests later showed that I didn’t have gall stones and couldn’t find anything to account for the bout of pain I had had and these never returned but this was the wake up call I needed as it was the last straw.

    I started LL on 20th May and it took me 121 days to lose 5st 1.5lbs. In that time conventional food did not pass my lips although I was sorely tempted on a number of occasions. I did have 2 bars in 1 day on a couple of occasions though so I haven’t been whiter than white! I will start management on Tuesday so this will be 129 days of sole sourcing.

    Although sole sourcing has been a challenge and provided a very steep learning curve, I have always anticipated that management would be the hardest part of all which is why I followed my doctor’s recommendation and chose LL. My doctor was right, I needed the structure of the LL counselling to help me tease out as many of my issues regarding food and found the LL foundation stage to be excellent for my needs because I wouldn’t have got as far as I have without the foundation stage although the development stage was of no benefit whatsoever to me. I was very very disappointed with the development stage as it was a complete waste of time, it was only the knowledge that the management stage is well worth doing that kept me on LL. If I had a load more weight to lose then I would have swapped to CD to lose the weight and then swapped back to LL for the management stage.

    I will start management early next week hoping I don’t stick on too much weight when my glycogen store tops up again. I should be ok as I should still be losing fat whilst the glycogen levels slowly return to normal levels so the 2 should balance out.

    My real fear is that I will have problems limiting the foods I eat as I won’t have the suppression of hunger that being in ketosis gives. This is going to be difficult - understatement of the year! My issues have not been what I eat or portion control in my normal menu, my issues are that I have used food as a drug in the evenings after my daughter has gone to bed and practised self medication when I felt unable to deal with life situations. Having said that, I will need to get used to the new sized portions my much smaller body needs. Having lost 6 ½-7 stone since March my calorie intake needs to be 150 calories less per stone lost and I have smaller plates lined up ready for my new sized dinners.

    Having learnt so much about myself during foundation and put in place new habits and behaviours whislt sole sourcing I feel confident that although I won’t be able to be ‘pefect’ all the time, I will have enough control to be able to be ‘good’ most of the time and adjust my diet accordingly to reflect the times when I am ‘bad’.

    I will be writing this diary in Word and then updating Minimins a maximum of once a day with my insights. The reason I say this is because the personal diary I kept whilst sole sourcing was updated numerous times a day as a new thought occurred to me. By doing it this way, I keep all my entries fresh and raw but don’t end up with a thread that has 10-15 entries for 1 day!
    Last edited: 30 September 2006
    IreneH likes this.
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  3. Geri

    Geri Gold Member

    Hiya chick :p

    Wow Management is just around the corner for you, congratulations on getting to the end, practically perfect performance. In fact I would say 100% :) So you had 2 bars on the very odd occassion, it ws still lighterlife stuff!
    Top marks for you :D

    Some People do loose in the early parts of management, maybe up to half a stone, but it's not a general rule - some do some don't, which is why l.l suggest getting to where you want to be before going into Managent.

    You will still be in ketosis for the first few days, maybe week even as you're only adding protein for the first 3 days and then salad after that....

    You'll be fine, You'll have your Counsellor there to help you along with your management group, and us lot on here:)

    Look forward to reading your management diary, and seeing you in the lighterlife magazine one of these days :D
    Mini likes this.
  4. 10stonesize10

    10stonesize10 Member

    Im about 2 months behind you
    starting at about the same place
    I wish you all the best !!!!!!!
    and cant wait to join you.
    you have done so well !!!!
    Mini likes this.
  5. i'lldoit

    i'lldoit Banned

    Hi Chicken
    As you know Im waiting to start LL and I must say your an inspiration........Hoping to as well as you good luck with management i'll be reading with interest :D
    Mini likes this.
  6. KD

    KD Gone fishing

    Was Cambridge, now maintaining
    Very best of luck. I'll be watching you;)

    I have to admit that I found the refeeding bit the hardest. It was okayish while I was still in ketosis, but the moment I slipped out of that, but was still on the low cal (think it was the CD 1,000 bit), I found it really tough.

    They say that the problem with VLCD's is that you don't learn about healthy eating. That statement is a load of trash for most of us. We know about healthy eating, it's just doing it that's the problem. Not for one week, or even a month, but forever.

    The stabilisation part really gave me the confidence in myself that I could do it. It was the most important part of the CD diet for me anyway.

    Okay, I did fall off once or twice (maybe 3 times:eek:). More than I did in SS anyway, but I managed to hop back on somehow. My CDC told me that if I fell off, then I needed to do an extra week of whatever bit I was on, and that sure helped motivate me to do it properly.

    So...very best of luck. You're going to do this bit just fine. I can feel it in my bones :D
    Mini likes this.
  7. Karen1972

    Karen1972 Gold Member

    Wow that is a fantastic story - you have done it in record time too - well done!!!

    Enjoy management, it is very exciting introducing foods week by week - i did brilliantly until about half way through when i started cheating here and there. I have terrible portion control, which is why i now only allow myself one meal a day and it's huge! But healthy. Last night i had lamb steak, a whole bag of frozen swede and carrot (pretended it was mashed potato) and some roasted veggies - so even though i still need huge portions to satisfy me (maybe due to Ghrelin?), at least it's only veg!!!!! Throughout the day i have 3 LL packs - i really think this the only way i can stay slim - it's worth it, if i could just quit the bingeing though grrrr!

    Anyway, stay strong, keep us posted....

    Mini likes this.
  8. Gill-cdthing

    Gill-cdthing Gone, but who cares huh

    good luck, i will be following this closely, as im about a month maybe less to starting this myself, and i like to read how others coped and how they felt so that when i get there i have some points of reference, you have done amazingly well to get to where you are and i wish you all the luck in the world,
    Mini likes this.

    CAROLYNE42XX Failure is not an Option

    Hi Chicken

    Just called in to wish you luck as you embark onto Maintenance. Your write-up is so inspirational and from the heart. I will keep popping in every other day to view your progress on maintenance and what problems you have to cope with.

    Last week for me next week on LL which is quite sad because most of Group members are starting maintenance. Three other members including myself are going into Development for at least another month and then see what the situation is from there. Our LLC gave us a glimpse of the new maintenance books as they are all recently new and she took us through each week and what foods we can look forward to introducing. I am so looking forward to starting maintenance and I hope you do to Chicken. Take Care XX
    Mini likes this.
  10. chicken on a mission

    chicken on a mission Restarting to lose 4stone

    LighterLife then CD
    I'm really looking forward to it. :D

    I'm due to be doing my next lot of progress shots on 23rd so I pop them in my album when I have done them. You'll be able to see what I mean about my body shape and what I still have left to lose/tone. I'll also post all my stats on here so you can see how far I have come and where I decided that I was as goal.

    I want it to be Friday so I can go horse riding again *sigh* it all helps to tick off the weeks though. I wonder if I can get a hack squeezed in before now and then. No money though :(

    I'm just cruising through till Tuesday now.

    Some of you might remember that I have absolutely been gagging for a chicken shish. My best mates hubby is Turkish and explained what exactly went into the shish and salad dressing. He butchers the whole chickens himself so the meat isn't processed and I can have the white cabbage from day 3 so he is under strict instructions to do me the best chicken shish (minus the pita) he has ever done otherwise I'll be chasing him round the shop with the big knife they use :D

    I think my first protein will be fish steamed in savoury drink with black pepper because apart from the kebab, that's what I have been hanging out for the most. :)
  11. Karen1972

    Karen1972 Gold Member

    ooooo your shish sounds nice honey!! not so sure about the fish though haha.

    last friday night i had to go into 5 kebab shops in cardiff to find a shish - what a good girl i am!! Didn't stop me eating the pastie and chips on sunday night though grrrrr!

    I'm so excited for you chicken....
  12. demon

    demon Cambridge Diet Counsellor

    GOOD LUCK with the start of your maintenance programme chicken :)

    I'm now on week two and, so far so good, really enjoying it, but I do take on board that it's still early days. Absolutely agree with karion that it's the most important part of the plan if we're to achieve long term success :D
  13. Soraya

    Soraya Silver Member

    Start Weight:
    Current Weight:
    Goal Weight:
    Slimpod & Atkins
    Hi, I love reading the maintenance diaries. Chicken, I enjoy your insightful posts a lot, you've worked hard to get here and really inspired me on my journey. I hope maintenance goes well for you.

    I've got 9.5 lbs to go and am planning to do a fairly low carb diet afterwards. By which I mean lots of lean meat and fish, veg and fruit. But I know that bread, potatoes and pasta send me off into uncontrollable binges so will be avoiding them,. Also, I know this doesn't keep you in ketosis, but I stayed the same doing this for a year before CD. Which at the time I was really annoyed with as I was trying to lose!

    Karen, have you tried cauli mash? It's a bit odd, but pretty yummy
  14. Texasgirl

    Texasgirl Regular User

    Hey Chicken

    I am moderating this section and just thought I would stop by and say WELL DONE. You are an inspiration to all of the new users of the site and its great to see you embarking on your maintenance.

  15. IreneH

    IreneH Gold Member

    Good luck Chicken on the start of maintenance
    Irene xx
  16. chicken on a mission

    chicken on a mission Restarting to lose 4stone

    LighterLife then CD
    Thanks. Just got off the phone to my LLC, 1st management meeting is Tuesday 26th September 9.45-11.15am so my first 'meal' will be that evening :p

    That's when the fun starts :eek:

    It is a 12 week course so the last one will be on 5th December so with the following weeks limits I should be through just before Christmas but will continue to get weighed regularly for at least a year after and may sit in on more counselling if I need it, all free of charge. :D
    KD likes this.
  17. KD

    KD Gone fishing

    Was Cambridge, now maintaining
    How's that for perfect timing :)
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  19. chicken on a mission

    chicken on a mission Restarting to lose 4stone

    LighterLife then CD
    I know but I was soooooo concerned that my decision to start management would be swayed by this so I left it a good 3 weeks before finally deciding to make the leap.

    One thing I just wanted to add is that the weigh in results I post are based on an evening weigh in and given the copious amounts of water I drink I wondered what I weighed in the morning, naked and empty ;). This morning I was 10st 10lbs which takes me well within my top end limit of 11st 4lbs. :)
  20. canireallydothis!!

    canireallydothis!! Gold Member

    Well done chicken and I will be sending positive vibes down to you.

    I will be watching your diary about maintenece, It will be the first one I will have read right from day 1
  21. chicken on a mission

    chicken on a mission Restarting to lose 4stone

    LighterLife then CD
    I ate my first conventional food tonight. I decided to start 2 days early because it is hubby's birthday at the end of October and by starting now it will take me into the beginning of the 6th week of management for then which will give me more choices for when we go out to dinner to celebrate. This was a concious choice made after careful thought and not done on a whim so I know that I have taken a decision that suits my needs. :)

    Tonight I ate a palm sized fillet of trout which I had seasoned with black pepper and then grilled until it was just about cooked so it remained nice and moist. It was very nice and I am now stuffed.

    The first thing that comes to mind having just finished is that I am feeling very full - not quite uncomfortably so, but almost. :(

    I will try to eat a bit slower tomorrow to give my body a chance to send me the right signals and my brain a chance to register what my body is telling me. I need to stay in tune with my body and work with it.

    Although I was eating slowly tonight and only taking small amounts onto my fork, I only felt the full signal after I had cleared my plate and started to clear up. I left the crunchy skin which I would have enjoyed in the old days but didn't fancy it this evening. The cats enjoyed it though :D

    I kind of expected fireworks and to have had a deep feeling of deprivation after the past 4 and a bit months of food packs only. I didn't feel at all like this and I think my attitude towards my meal was 'normal' so I'm not worried about the way today went. :)

    Tomorrow's meal will be healthy balance cottage cheese because that is the first of the protein choices I bought today that will go out of date.

    After my meal I made a basil and garlic marinade with stock and balsamic vinegar for a small chicken breast I'll be having on the following evening but there seemed to be a heck of a lot of marinade. So I got out 2 foil containers (the type that take-a-ways come in) and put a scored skinless free range chicken breast in each (one weighing 4oxs, the other weighing 3 1/4ozs - I have to weigh everything now so I can learn what a proper sized portion actually looks like) and divided the marinade between them. One went in the freezer for a later week, the other remains in the fridge for the day after tomorrows meal, it should have had a good old soak by then and be very tasy indeed. I'll just remove the lid and bake it in the foil container. It'll go down lovely with some celery and a green leaf salad possibly with fat free dressing, it may not need it because of the sauce on the chicken :cool:

    I will be trying to avoid having the same thing twice in one week if posible because I want to see how each now food makes me feel and to try foods I wouldn't normally have considered. I'll have to have trout again this week because hubby doesn't eat fish and it is too big for my daughter to eat on her own.

    I am surprised that of all the options for my first meal, I chose fish let alone trout :eek: Glad I did though because it was easy to eat and I had to get used to using a knife and fork again :p
  22. 10stonesize10

    10stonesize10 Member

    I cant wait for my first meal , maybe a month and a half for me.
    Good for you, you must be very proud !!!!!!
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