My metamorphosis log - final stage

[*butterfly*]

13.01.10
Thanks everyone for your messages and concern. Fret not, my BMI is over 25, and i have no intention of putting myself at risk. I am doing ss today, not sure how long for. (only until BMI25 is reached anyway)Taking it one day at a time. I know this is not the answer, and is probably not the best plan in the world, in terms of getting my head round the longer term issues of maintenance. But i just feel i need a few days to just kick me in the right direction, almost like a 'wake-up call' if that makes sense, so i can get back to the real issues. Have had a very rare morning, child free since 930am, and i have done hardly anything which i never do! It has been so luxurious. I have sat on my bum, with huge amounts of water, coffee and a shake, and browsed minimins. Had a good read on some of the recent and older posts, mainly courtesy of the legendary KD, trying to learn and understand as much as possible. It has given me so much to think about. Do you ever just wish you could 'know' all this stuff and be able to apply it to yourself, instead of having to go through this whole learning process. I'm off to read a bit more until i have to pick DD up.
Have also come to the conclusion that the worst thing i can do is stay away from minimins! So, in order to ensure my weight loss/maintenance remains a priority i am going to be back later, and continue to have minis time every day, so i don't let it slip so much again. xx

 

[*butterfly*]

Oh, and i am thinking of getting Perfect Diet Tracker. Is it easy/quick to use? I don't have much spare time to faff around with a complex programme, but want to be able to monitor my intake as i move up again, so that i can develop menus of my own as well as the ones in the yellow book. xx

 

[Katycakes]

there's a free 7 day trial, so if you don't like it, you don't have to buy!

xxx

 

[Bess]

Good to see you back here Butterfly, the advice from the others is great. I entirely understand what happened and how you feel. I think most of us have felt just the same.

Just keep on posting and plodding on and don't beat yourself up about something you might feel should be easier. I have struggled so much and the only thing I can be sure of is that I'm not going to give up!! (Are there any 80 year olds doing CD?) xxx

 

[Katycakes]

No, we're not 80 yet Bess... might still be here then, though... lol!!!!

xxxx

 

[*butterfly*]

Cheers guys! I'd love to be an 80yr old minimins lurker, regaling everyone with tales of 'back in the day' and sounding like a mad old bat! What fun... although i'd sort of hope i may have cracked it by then.
Completed day one with no cheating, which feels amazing. Just to know i can do it! Off to WI in morning. Despite only starting to try to be good a few days ago, i am hopeful of a loss, which will be the incentive i need at the moment. xx​

 

[Katycakes]

Day one for me today on 810, so your comments are inspiring - I need something to keep me on the straight and narrow! Good luck for your WI.

xxx

 

[Bess]

Day 3 SS or SS+, fingers crossed for us all. xx

 

[alexmummy07]

Good luck for weigh in hun. You know how many people fail on day one, so well done! !!

xx

 

[Katycakes]

You can do it Bess. We have to get it right this time... I think we have about the same to lose, I need to adjust my ticker & get it all straight.

xxx

 

[*butterfly*]

14.01.10
Yipeeee..... I am just so much happier for getting that first day under my belt. Even happier that i had WI and 4lb has gone, which i am thrilled with, considering that was only a half hearted and nibbles full week. Ok, i know it is mostly water bloating, as 3 inches have gone too, but it just feels good. Hopefully now i can start to shift the fat.
We can do this girls.....i know it gets harder in a way the longer we are at it, but all the more reason to get it done this time. So we can begin to focus on 'normal' long term eating, and not all this diet stuff. Symathies with all of you though, i'd forgot how blooming horrid ketosis chills are.. i feel like an ice block already. So here goes day two now. If we all take it one day at a time we can get there. I do look a bit bonkers though, i talk to the food, and myself again. Normally goes along the lines of "I will not eat you, you can go in the bin" or "la di da de da..." on the basis that if i am humming and singing thoughts of food will be dispelled. It does not work that well though.....! I am convincing myself that what i put into my body is my choice alone, and if i want to change the shape of my body then its only up to me to make the right choices. No one else. But, i am glad to have minis and all of you so we can keep each other going.
Have hit healthy BMI now at 10st7lb, will finish last ss dday today and do 810 tomorrow. I am at work tonight and haven't planned a meal. Off to bed, back tonight hopefully xx

 

[Bess]

14.01.10
We can do this girls.....i know it gets harder in a way the longer we are at it, but all the more reason to get it done this time. So we can begin to focus on 'normal' long term eating, and not all this diet stuff.

Oh yes please.....'normal eating' for me. Not sure about Ketosis feeling cold though, I've never stopped feeling the cold (and I never did,) since I started CD last year. Brrr!!!!

 

[*butterfly*]

16.01.10
Ok, so i am useless at sticking to my promise to be on here every day. But thats only because just been too busy at work/ home and it has not been a purposeful avoid.
Have not been great. Started 810 the last night i posted and took tuna/salad into work. The last two days i have done fine all day then night at work....have screwed up when got in in the morning after night shift, feeling unusually tired and groggy and have nibbled on stuf, mixture of 'good' proteins with a bit of crap thrown in. Could kick self, and i am trying to get to grips with changing it. Which i am determined to do. Read a load of stuff about food addiction/emotional eating on a thread the other day. It all rings true, and makes sense to me. Just can't quite figure how to translate that awareness in to action. For now, specifically this evening, i am breaking it down not into days but hrs. If i can do the next hr without eating what i 'want' to, that will be good. I think sometimes when i promise to be good a whole day/week, it almost sets me up to fail, because if i do nibble, i tend to then fall into the mindset of 'I've had 'a', so i'll have 'b and c' now....and so on.
Can't waffle anymore, have just posted on team thread for ages, had enough of writing for now. DD is poorly again, so will hit sack soon as i suspect a disturbed night ahead, poor mite.... Off to read a few diarys. Will get round to posting on them all soon, sorry all, don't want to seem rude. I do want to catch up with you all, just struggling to fit in. Hope you all ok anyway... xx

 

[herewego]

Hope your DD feels better soon! It sounds like you are doing fairly well - it's really hard to get back on 810 again. I've never even managed one 100% day when I've tried! Breaking the day into chunks is a good idea - might try that myself when trying to stop snacking.

Take Care xx

 

[Katycakes]

Would it help to read back through your diary and rediscover some of that old focus? It is hard to find that safe zone again, but worth persevering... you can do it Butterfly! Look at that beautiful profile pic and keep moving forward... those wings will be ready to spread any day now...

xxx

 

[*butterfly*]

17.01.10
Cheers guys. Feeling good today, made it through last night without straying, and so far so good. The hr by hr approach seems to be helping a bit. Have managed to glug water, coffee, and plan to have half a shake soon. Off out for the day visisting family today so no problems anticipated. DD seems a brighter this morning which is a relief, and temp down. Catch up tonight xx

 

[Bess]

Well done Butterfly. I remember KD comforting Katy once when she had eaten more biscuits than she wished by telling her that she didn't need to wait until tomorrow to carry on, (negating the 'oh stuff it, I've blown it, I'll eat everything now' feeling) and also saying that after the biscuits, she didn't need a large meal later. In other words, adjusting her diet to take account of the biscuits, rather than seeing it as the end of the diet/feeling useless again thing.
This really helped me. They are all things we know really, but sometimes it helps me have someone say it again and remind me.

 

[*butterfly*]

18.01.10
Thanks Bess, it does help, any hints at all are appreciated!
Not on 810 plan yesterday or today.... Did have reasonable meals though, so probably sts at the moment. When i went to my Nans she had cooked me and DD a roast lunch, i just couldn't say no. She would understand, but she has been stressed, as had to go in for op today to biopsy lump in her neck. Had been a bit down, so i just wanted to make her happy. It was lovely and reminded me of chilhood. So was well worth it. Tonight, cooked at home. OH is on nights at moment aswell so we are like ships in the night. So just wanted to cook nice meal for us, as we were actually eating together. It was healthy though, prob about 480cals. Also treated self to some fruit.
Have just been trying to catch up on diaries, and so many people are doing great following their chosen plans, i just feel quite motivated and inspied now to do the same. In work tomorrow(12-8), not looking foreward to. We're doing a stupid time and motion type study at the moment where you log what you are doing every 15 mins, absurd. Know for a fact that half the data will be interpreted whatever way they want it to anyway, no matter what the reality is. Off to bed. xx

 

[Katycakes]

You can do it Butterfly, one step at a time... hope work was OK.

xxx

 

[curlywurly1234]

Hey hon
Your doing fab and you sound really determined and motivated.
You can do it hon, have a good day at work xx