Need to be careful forever Attn: AKB

[bakerfa]

Hi hon,

Sounds like a trying day! Hope it got better in the evening!

Insurance job - Nope, Dad will get Mum new mirror, can't do anything about his but doesn't show too badly as his car is silver, mine however needs a paint touch-up pen as the white shows on the burgundy big time!

You're not paying for the party? What did they do? Must have missed that!

Just tried ringing but goes to answerphone. Will put this post on other forum in case you miss it on here.

Don't worry about the food today, you're a 12, it doesn't matter so long as you SS again tomorrow. Chin up! Unfortunately the control & willpower will never end... No more jammie dodgers...(I was never a jammie dodger girl, it was always choc digestives which we don't now have in the house, although we still do at work but I stay away from the biscuit tin entirely. If I have one I'll have lots.)

Ate & drank too much at lunch. WW pasta with veg & potatoes not too bad but 2 slices cake plus serious quantities alcohol not so good. We found bottle of cava yesterday while doing conservatory and didn't want it to go off as only 11% and 2 years old so had that plus 2 bottles wine + a sherry each at lunch! Not bad for 3 of us! Put mine with creme de cassis which I didn't realise was alcoholic and was asleep 4 hours this afternoon! Now won't sleep & feel slightly dizzy when I lie down... why do I do this to myself!

Take care & talk tomorrow
Love
Anch xxx

 

[bakerfa]

Woohoo!

Despite a fairly alcoholic weekend the food wasn't too naughty at all. I actually had WW pasta with my Sunday lunch. Although the sponge cake wasn't too good! Was 11,0 this morning so for the first time in a long time I have gone down a lb after a weekend! Will be giving the F & C a miss tonight after weigh in & having low point noodles instead. Would love to be (& will be!) 10 something for my birthday on Thursday!
Talk later
Anja xxx

 

[AKB]

Hiya,
Finally got to work (via garage to get car window fixed and Next sale), must crack on and make up for lost time!

Brilliant news re your weight this morning - all that work on Saturday must have helped!

Lovely to chat last night, have calmed down a bit now after her visit - oh she WAS annoying at times - added to the heat and tiredness - it was quite an explosive mix!
Anyway, have not guilt tripped re eating and am 100% SSing from now on - no weighing myself - have hidden scales under chest of drawers to prevent temptation, disappointment, guilt and eating binge etc - whooo - I'm growing as a person and think I'm getting somewhere with my "eating disorder". Very strange to think that I actually stopped mid binge yesterday and put the stuff back thinking "I'm not really enjoying this" - honestly never happened before!
Well, best get down to some work and am going off to find ticker thing to stick on my profile - bound to cheer me up!
Catch up later,
lots of love,
A
xxxx

 

[AKB]

How's about this one?

 

[bakerfa]

Hiya,
Did they fix window ok?

Thanks for a great long chat last night! Well done for lack of guilt/increase in willpower & most importantly for stopping mid-binge. It shocked me the first time I did it too!

Excellent ticker. Mine's supposed to remind me of our Spanish house, so every time I see it I think about my hol in Oct!

Talk later
Love Anja xxx

 

[AKB]

Oh darn it - I'm so cack handed - I'd just typed a really long reply, all in detail and with loads of really insightful comments (well for me anyway) that I know will be really helpful in the dark dieting days ahead and then I answered the phone, dropped a blue marker pen on my grey trousers and deleted the whole blooming lot! - Pants
Aaaarrggghhh - what a buffoon I am - anyway, yes car fixed, am not quite as mad as I thought I was re food and would appear to have developed a modicum of control around food - long may it continue and I obviously have more male characteristics than I thought in that I can't multi-task!

Yours in utter despair at my own stupidity
A
xxxx

 

[bakerfa]

Hi,
Well... some of my anti-diet genes kicked in; I had tuna jacket with butter & mayo & 2 slices of cake BUT I didn't have fish & chips followed by 2 slices of cake so I guess I was halfway there... now if only I hadn't had the cake! P*ss*d off 'cos I put another lb ON at WW, gosh I wonder why that keeps happening!? As if I didn't know... I'm really good all week, lose it at weekends then get grumpy on Monday 'cos the scales don't reflect 5 days hard work! Did I say I'm starting SS again on 7th August for the 2 weeks Mum & Dad are away? I think I'm sabotaging a bit because of that!

Anyway going to bed with my cereal in a slight sulk 'cos I'm stupid!

Love
Anja xxx

 

[AKB]

Hiya,
You are not stupid - you resisted the fish and chips - well done you!
Enjoy your cereal and get a good night's sleep - tomorrow is another day and the weight will just drop off when you SS again!
Catch up tomorrow!
Lots of love,
A
xxxx

 

[bakerfa]

Damn it! The genes won! Was 11,3 this morning! Grrrrrrrrrrrr! Why do I do this to myself?! Going to cinema tonight to see P of C 2 so that should be good, Friday onwards I will have brek, lunch, CD milkshake dinner & then cereal before bed until I start SSing properly. Will also try to cut down the carbs gradually. Looking forward to trying the new CD bars.

Finished book 7 yesterday so on to studying the dissertation materials...

Talk later
Love
Anja xxx

 

[bakerfa]

Only just squeaked in; e-mailed my CDC today and found she goes on hol for 2 weeks from Thurs onwards so have to run & see her tomorrow & collect 2 weeks stuff! (At least her new bars come today!) I wonder if I can get down to 10 stone by my exam?

Talk later
Anja xxx

 

[AKB]

Hiya,
Hope the film is good tonight - as for the weight - chill! It's your birthday soon, you're going to be eating and enjoying yourself but it will all come off when you SS - you'll shoot down into the 10s and beyond!!!!

I've put my scales away and haven't weighed myself since Saturday - it was becoming an obsession and when I'd not lost enough I would strop and was risking bingeing. I shall just stick to SS and get weighed at my CDCs this Thursday. She's away too from then so I shall be getting 2 weeks stuff and aiming to be in the low 10s when I go back

The new bars are delicious - not as sweet as the original 4 and nice and crunchy and more importantly - no maltitol - yippee - no embarrassing wind/griping pains etc for me!!

The Next combats fitted really well but the black jeans are snug and low waisted which I don't find the most comfy style to wear! Goodness knows if I'll ever get into them after they are washed!

I too saw that Real Story tv prog last night and it was very sobering but as I've said I don't think losing the weight is my biggest challenge but rather keeping it off will be. I definitely think the Psych. counselling I get has been invaluable and has probably been the key to why I've succeeded this time. It would be interesting to know if LL and CD have ever kept such stats as I'm sure the LL pysch stuff is a key factor in helping people lose and maintain. As I'm at Cambridge tomorrow for my CDC training I'll ask them!

Anyway, must get on with work - only another 990 videos to go!!!!
Catch you later,
Love,
A
xxxx

 

[IreneH]

Have a great day tomorrow. It there anyone from the DH site also going? And you'll make a great CDC too.

Love to you and Anja (good luck with the ss Anja)

Irene xx

 

[AKB]

Hi Irene,
Congratulations on losing your 4 stones - bet you feel good - and isn't it nice when people (mothers) who don't usually compliment you, do so - you are doing brilliantly
Thanks for the best wishes for tomorrow, I think BoobyJude and Deb24 are going, there will be 30 of us there so I'm feeling a bit nervous - like I did about the WeMITT do in Brum - silly I know cos everyone is lovely but I still feel self conscious and "fat" amongst new people.
Well, I must go and wrestle the boy into bed - he's very excited because he's finally got a wobbly tooth - I think he thinks the tooth fairy will come tonight! I hope he sleeps as he hasn't been the last few nights (and neither have I with him in my bed) and he's a tad grouchy - so a less than pleasant time is had by all!
Will sign on tomorrow night and let you know about the day - hope I pass muster

Lots of love,
A
xxxx


Hi Anja,
Hope the film's good, I just won a Fantasie (Cally) bra off ebay - yay - £10 cheaper than figleaves. My best fitting bra at the moment is a fuschia one - which is too bright to wear under white tops. It's still hot and muggy here, hope there's air conditioning in the hotel tomorrow! Will text you with updates during the day - wish me luck,
Lots of love,
A
xxxx

 

[bakerfa]

Hi hon,

Thank you so so much for my birthday present, that is so sweet of you.

Film was good, funny but kind of rank. If I'd watched that when I was 12 or less I'd be having nightmares for weeks! Some of the jokes went over the heads of the kids too, a bit adult but very discrete! Johnny Depp was excellent as always! Good fun!

Good luck for tomorrow! Have a great day & I will put my phone on to hear how you're doing. I'm sure you'll love it!

(Did ok at the cinema, shared a small salt popcorn with Mum and no choc/sweets/drinks, no dinner but did have 2 bowls of cereal when I got in. Should be okay though, before that I only had weetabix, jacket with WW baked beans, fruit & 1 jaffa cake lunch pod so not bad really...)

I've looked fairly dorky all day with the back of my bra showing quite a bit... less comfortable wearing the backless straps in this heat so didn't bother. Better it shows at the back than the front, both of which were possible with the top I had on...

I CANNOT believe this, is burgundy an invisible colour for a car? We came out of the cinema and my mirror was part bent in with a white stripe down it... I haven't had it a week and it's been scratched 3 times! (I had my Daewoo nearly 2 years & no-one touched that so it can't be just how I park!) The turtle wax is coming out to play tomorrow!

Talk tomorrow, take care, thanks again & have a great time tomorrow!
Love
Anja xxx

 

[bakerfa]

Hiya,
Hope you're training day is going great!

Too hot here! I got my heels caught in the tarmac when I went to see my CDC today. Have only gained 1lb on her scales since 6th June, got 2 weeks stuff including the new bars...

Given up the ghost pre-birthday food. Trying to use up some of the food in the house pre-diet. Cream cakes at work etc. tomorrow so will probably not weigh until weekend now. Was 11,3 this morning, Was 11,4.5 at lunchtime, dressed after at about 1.5/2 litres water & breakfast.

Will put some pics on later!

Love
Anja xxx

 

[AKB]

Hiya Anja,
Sorry I didn't get a chance to text/phone earlier - it was all go and any breaks we had were filled with loo visits and chatting to other prospective CDCs who were all lovely.
It was worthwhile and I've picked up quite a few hints and tips but never really got a chance to ask about if Cambridge were planning to offer their CDCs assistance with dealing with clients who have eating disorders! I did talk to quite a few women who had lost their weight on LL and they were mostly saying that even with the CBT about 50% of attendees never made it to the end. So, perhaps it's not that helpful if your head's not inb the right place!
Also got given 2 bars (which I stuffed on journey home and yep - there's still something in them that disrupts my stomach )
Am really bricking it about going to my CDCs tomorrow as I reckon I've gained and I just don't need to know that right now. I'm really struggling to stick to SS as I keep getting so many compliments and know that I could actually stop now and still look ok. Trouble is I reckon if I did stop now I'd maintain at around half a stone heavier than now which would be so easy to creep upwards to 12 stones, 13 stones and beyond.... So must strengthen my resolve and shift this last stone by the end of the summer hols - so have 6 weeks to do it which should be easy providing I focus - reckon me and you will have to gee each other along in August when you started SSing again.
Did you see Karen1972's thread re bingeing? I most definitely have had a problem with it since doing a VLCD, I didn't before but then I allowed myself to eat what I liked and felt no restrictions on me. Am a bit frightened that I might go down same path too once in maintenance Will ask shrink for advice when I next see him.

Right must get the grub out of the bath and into bed via the obligatory bl00dy HP. Will check on here afterwards and maybe phone if that's ok with you?

Lots of love,
A
xxxx

 

[bakerfa]

Hiya,
I do think you HAVE to have your head in the right place... not helped by LL tasting rough even with desperately wanting to lose 6 stone I still cheated my first weekend 'cos i couldn't stand the thought of another LL foodpack. Thank God for CD although left my CD stuff in car this afternoon & everything's fairly melted!

You sound like you're going through the same troubles I went through in May/June with wanting to stop while wanting to carry on too... Having tried WW/SW I can categorically say you won't lose it any other way - you will only maintain or put on. Grit your teeth and plough on until you get where you want or you'll regret it! (Believe me! I'd have been at goal by June if I'd done so!)

Will go & check Karen's thread in a min. Don't worry about the bingeing, just remember you started one & then stopped partway through, it can be controlled.

Yes of course phone, I will be up until about 10.30.

Talk soon
Love
Anja xxx

 

[IreneH]

Ailsa
So pleased the training day was fine. You'll make an excellent CDC.
Hi Anja
Irene xx

 

[IreneH]

Anja
Happy birthday and you definately don't look your age.
Irene xx

 

[AKB]

I was just going to type Happy Birthday too - hope you are having a great day and enjoying a cream apple turnover???? If not I hope the Mexican tonight is delicious - yum yum - veg fajitas!!!!
xxxx