New Diary...New Adventure?!

Starlit_Cazza

Restart 3/9/2013
Well. Here I am again. Back with my tail between my legs, all the 5stone I lost in 2008 safely regained + 1 more for good measure. It's been a very traumatic 2 years, one that has not seen me in any good place to diet. I have tried a couple of times and failed horrendously and miserably. However I have to do something as the weight HAS to go. It is affecting my health, my job, my everything.

I originally started CD in June 2008. I stuck to it rigidly for 3 months and 5 stone literally just fell off. It was bloody hard work, and I don't deny there was the odd "bo bo" but on the whole I did ok and like I said - 5 stone fell off :) However I still needed ideally to get off at least another 5 stone, if not another 7 stone, to be deemed "healthy". Unfortunately however on 23rd September 2008, my world kind of caved in.

Mum had an appointment with a Neurologist. It wasn't her first - she had been seeing one for 6 months or so after she developed a problem with her leg. She had been undergoing lots of tests, and she expected it to be another routine appointment - so much so she went on her own. Sadly it was not routine in the slightest - mum was diagnosed with Motor Neurone Disease - a rapidly progressive degenerative disease that robs the sufferer of all muscle movement (including swallowing and eventually breathing) whilst leaving their pain sensors intact. Most suffers will die within 18 months of diagnosis.

Mum's progress was rapid - there didn't seem to be any plateaus or breathing space before the next deterioration. Within 6 months of diagnosis she could no longer walk or weight bear or move her legs at all, 3 months after that her arm movement became seriously reduced. Less than a year from diagnosis she was completely dependent on those around her to care for her as she was barely able to feed herself. in early 2010 her speech began to go, and her swallowing became affected. She couldn't cough any more - strange as that may sound.

In July 2010 mum choked on a piece of food, which became stuck in her lung. This caused her to develop aspiration pneumonia, which resulted in a months stay in hospital - amazingly her first admission since her diagnosis. It was during this stay that we were told that mum had entered the final stages of the disease, and that she would only have a few months left. Mum came home from hospital in early august with an intensive home care support package. Sadly however she developed another infection and left us on 9th September 2010.

Motor Neurone Disease is a horrific disease - not just for the sufferer but for everyone around them. This ended up being rather long winded, but I guess I just wanted to get down and out of my head why I haven't been in the right place to fight my weight up until now. But that is going to change.

I am on holiday right now, back at work for a few days, then off for xmas. Once xmas is out of the way I plan to be right back on the Cambridge bandwagon - ready to shed that weight and more¬!
 
Hello and welcome back :)

I am so sorry to hear about your mum. I can't even comprehend how devastating it must have been to see her deteriorate so quickly. It sounds like you did a brilliant job of caring for her.

Are you starting after Xmas? I hope you are looking forward to getting back on the diet in the new year.
 
Hi Felix. Hoping to start on New Years Eve - yes that might sound mad but I am working long days new years eve, new years day and 2nd Jan - and when I work long days I pretty much just work and sleep, so figure it is a good time to start!!!
 
i'm sorry to hear about your mum. i hope that this time your journey will be successful. i've had a hard time over the past year with my mum. she's diabetic and had an ulcer on her back left leg which got bigger and several areas of gangrene. her toe was amputated in september during her month long hospital stay. it wasn't long before she was back in with an infection and there was talk of her leg being apmutated - this didn't happen but it was all too much and i'm now on tablets from depression.

we grow strong from our trials and i hope that this strength helps you through cd.
 
hey starlight, i remember you from way back

massive hugs hunni, its devestating watching a loved one being over taken by a disorder. my mother has a neuro condition, hate hate hate it. she has no speach and has recently lost the ability to weightbare, its heartbreaking for familys seeing it happen

hope everything goes well with your restart. were all here behind you
 
Well I am still planning my restart for 31st! Have found myself a great Counsellor - in fact it is someone I made friends with through here! She lives about 30 miles away from me so won't see her every single week, but decided I wanted a counsellor that I know I like, that I trust, and hopefully who won't be shy to kick me up the backside when I need it!!!

Preparations are going ok - had a mad Christmas day foodwise, but otherwise have been surprisingly good! Have upped my water intake and trying to cut back on the carbs so the comedown isn't too bad when I start!!!

4 days to go...
 
All looking good for my restart - even thinking about bringing it forward a day! Off to meet my counsellor tomorrow, which is really mad as I met her through here 2 1/2 years ago and have been chatting for quite some time, but we have never met before!!! Can't wait. She is restarting too to get a few lb off so hope we can motivate each other to keep going...

Have just booked myself a little trip away... taking my 3 year old to Disneyland Paris for 3 days on 7th Feb... So the plan is to SS for 38 days until we go to Disney (hopefully shifting 42lb fingers crossed). I then hope to do a sort of modified plan whilst at Disney for 3 days - Shake for breakfast, one for lunch then a nice protein rich dinner in the evening. We have half board plan so working on the theory that we can go to the buffets and I shall fill up on lean meat, grilled veg and the like - try and be as good as possible. Then back on SS on the 10th!!! I am working on a mixed theory of using it as a sort of add a meal mini-week and the fact I will be doing so much walking (from past experience) that I will burn off anything I eat. Whether it works of course we shall see...but last time round I managed to sts despite 5 days at Disney eating crap, purely because we walked so so far!

Today I have increased my water intake to nearly 3 litres - to be honest the water intake is the bit I struggle with more than anything :eek:
 
Get set...

Well I am (re)starting Cambridge SS day after tomorrow! Saw my lovely CDC today - finally met her after talking to her online for 2 1/2 years!!! Madness. Needless to say she is lovely :D So I think I am ready to go...

42 shakes/bars/tetras :cool:
Cambridge shaker :cool:
2L bottles of water :cool:
Paracetamol for headaches :cool:
Extra jumpers :cool:
Mini mouthwash for work :cool:
Oodles of Motivation :cool:
Peppermint tea bags :cool:
Nytol!! :cool:

Anything I have forgotten?
 
awww i hope that everything goes well. I am ringing the local CDC in the morning and want to start as soon as they let me. I am sorry to hear about your mum - my mum has recently lost her mother in a similar way.

I hope that 2011 brings you lots of new joy and of course weightloss! x
 
good luck for friday starlit, sounds like your fully prepared there
 
Ponderings...

Ok, Well as you may or not be aware I did CD back in 2008 and lost 5 stone in 3 months, and managed to maintain that pretty much for a further 6 months before it all went to hell. Anyways...

Last time I bought a new set of scales, and became quite obsessive about weighing myself...would actually weigh myself at LEAST twice a day, every day, whilst doing CD - it really became an obsession, and not a healthy one!!!

I moved about 9 months ago now, and my scales got broken in the move, and as I am enormous and miserable I haven't actually replaced them. I got weighed when I met my Counsellor yesterday to pick my stuff up...and now won't be able to weigh myself until I see her again in 2 weeks!

At the moment this feels quite liberating...means I can't obsess about it like I did before, also means I think that I am less inclined to cheat as I know I will need to keep the weight off and the CD in control between weigh ins. But I am concerned it is going to turn in to an irritation...not knowing how I am doing between weigh ins, not being able to monitor every 1/4lb as it goes on and off...

So what do you think? No scales...liberating or irritating?

I should add last time round I was as obsessive with ketostix - I pee'd on a stick at least once a day, every day throughout the diet!!!! If it helps I was the same whilst trying to conceive earlier in the year (something that is on hold for at least 6 or 7 stone!!!) - I was spending a bloomin fortune on pregnancy tests and would pee on them alot. Eventually just had to stop ordering them!!!!

So there is an insight in to the life of a woman who is OCD about weeing, weighing and comparing pinkness and looking for non-existent lines, yet I am the complete opposite when it comes to being able to control what I put in my mouth...
 
Well I think thats it...I may be ready to go!!!

Today has been a mixed day - not quite as good prep wise as I wanted, no where near enough water, too much Pepsi Max and a cake, but I haven't been as bad as I could have been!!! I had grilled chicken with a tiny bit of honey and mustard sauce with fresh asparagus for dinner which was yummy and pretty low carb.

It's sad, but I am so excited about starting again. I know I am ready to face it again, as I am so bored of food at the moment!! Wandered around tesco earlier looking for something for dinner, and nothing was inspiring me at all - so maybe I need a complete break from food to really appreciate it again!!!

Spent a large part of the day reading through Awaken Me's diary on here. Her losses are about the same as mine were last time round, which is really helpful and useful to remind me that I bloody did it last time, and that if I stick to it this time then that's what I can achieve!!! Awaken Me's diary is here: http://www.minimins.com/cambridge-diet-forum/145916-week-38-happy-new-year.html

Anyway won't ramble on too much (for a change lol) as I have taken a Nytol as I need to sleep tonight!!! Working a long day tomorrow, and that's hard work on no sleep, as well as it being Day 1 tomorrow! It's sad isn't it? I am so excited about starting Cambridge again I actually haven't been sleeping properly!!! Got Nytol for the next few nights - I never sleep well at the start of Cambridge while I get used to it and get used to the extra energy it gives me, But I need to or work will be a killer!!!
 
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