New Goal and progress

[joh117]

I put on 7lbs while on holiday and I am struggling to shift this in management for various reasons I have had a few things to deal with. I had my cousins funeral yesterday (he commited suicide 5wks ago) and I did have a drink but I really needed it as it was a hard day for all the family.

Now that there has been closure on that I feel strong enough to set myself a goal. I am now going to be realistic. I want to loose 7lbs by the 20th October when I have a friends wedding. This will get me back to a weight I feel comfortable with. I am in week 4 of management but I am planning on being very careful about what I eat in the way of fruit as this made me gain weight the first time round.

I am going to stop picking at foods that are not on the plan yet - bread, chocolates, desserts, sweets, and any others

I am going to avoid alcohol as this causes me to eat all the wrong things. I loose all self control and I do enjoy a drink and I somehow do need to deal with this one but to help me achieve my goal I need to refrain from drinking for now.

I have 7 weeks to do this and I think a lbs a week is very achievable.

I will write into this post on a daily basis as a record of my success for the day to help keep me on the straight and narrow. If I write things down I am less likely to fall off the road

I really liked Cerulean's latest post in her RTM thread as she talks about been in a revolving door some find there way out straight away and others keep going round and get out then jump back in again.

I am the person who has jumped in and out for weeks now. I know the weight I want to get to is an achievable weight for me as I did maintain it until I went on holiday and the death in the family threw me and took away my willpower and the rebellious child moved in kicking the adult thoughts right out the window.

Well from today the Adult is moving back in hopefully full time and I will get this 7lbs shifted.

Jo

 

[Eileen]

Good luck Jo im sure you can do that, its a good goal.

 

[Tiger Girl]

Hey Jo
That goal sounds completely achievable. What a very stressful time you've had recently. But amazing that you've recognised all of the triggers and have a focus on the right weight for you, particularly in the context of a family bereavement. Very difficult indeed.
Please keep posting to let us know how it's all working out on the 7lb mission

 

[Cerulean]

Hey there Jo - I've just set myself a very similar goal - I want to get back to my goal weight again after my recent binges put me at a few pounds heavier than I want to be.

Sorry to hear all you've been through - but it's great that you are taking control again. I feel the same - I am going to try to spend the next 4 weeks as close to staying on plan as possible so that I am as strong as possible for the trigger weeks when they come up in October.

 

[joh117]

Thanks Tiger Girl

Well I did well yesterday. Earnt myself a gold star. Thanks for the idea Cerulean. I find it very motivating. I have also registered with weightlossresources it says I need to be on about 1100 calories to loose 2lbs a week. I had just over 900 calories yesterday. I was very proud of myself to go to my mums for tea and turn down the offer of a glass of wine and to just have a large salad with marinated tofu followed by fruit with 0% greek yogurt for desert. I am not normally one who counts calories but I think at the moment it is maybe a good thing as I can keep track of what I am having and it might stop me beating myself up if I have more fruit than I intended for the day.

So far so good today. I am feeling a little under the weather and think I am coming down with a cold. I am tempted to be bad but I am keeping an eye on the star chart and I am determined to get another Gold star today!

Best get on got to sort my daughters lunch

Jo

 

[joh117]

Sorry Cerulean only just seen your reply as you must have posted when I did.

Well so far so good I have 2 gold stars on the chart. I was at home all day yesterday with my 2 yr old while hubby played cricket and I was so very tempted to eat. It was definatly an emotional hunger and not a physical hunger. I was bored and feeling low as I have a cold coming on. So I was looking to food for comfort and for boredom. However I stayed strong and in adult mode of thinking and everytime I saw the chart with one gold star I was thinking I want a chart full of gold stars. Why didnt I think of this sooner????? Or follow Ceruleans lead sooner its a great way for me to stay on track.

I have a dress for a wedding that I want to wear on the 20th Oct and I can get it on but it is a skin tight dress and will look fantastic if I get the weight shifted.

I am going out for sunday lunch today and have studied the menu and I am planning on having asparagus grilled with poached eggs and a large salad for my main course.

Anyway will let you know later how I get on

Have a nice sunday everyone

Jo

 

[joh117]

Well I had a very good day yesterday. I made sensible choices while out for lunch. My clothes are feeling much better and I have 3 gold stars on the chart.

Today I have done well so far. I am coming down with a cold and not feeling great but I went for lunch with friends to a local pub and I chose a spicy bean burger (probably not the best choice but it was that or a cheese salad) I asked for a salad instead of chips and I didnt eat the burger bun so all in all I think I did fairly well.

I think the penny is finally starting to drop that being full does not mean stuffed so that I feel bloated and uncomfortable in my clothes.

I enjoyed having a meal out yesterday and today where I still feel good in the clothes I am wearing afterwards.

I am on track for another gold star (I am earning these for not binging on what I class bad foods, although the bean burger isnt on the plan yet it was the better of two evils and I ommitted the bread and chips which I feel was a very adult decision)

Off home soon so best get on

Jo

 

[Mrs Lard]

Hi Jo

Congratulations on this; having had a couple of days away from Minis, I am only catching up now. You're doing so well!

I've gone back on the packs! I was messing around with week 1/week 2 and there was so much going on, I was scared that I would blow it completely (a bit like you recognising what alcohol CAN do to your eating).

I'd be really grateful if you could document your veggie choices; I am really struggling with eating chicken and fish but TTC and acupuncturist has said try! My own goal is to go back being veggie, I think but right now, I haven't got the mental energy to do it properly, if that makes sense.

Really glad you started this thread; I think it's great for that in-between time; it's interesting how you, Sarah (Cerulean) and I are all coping with RtM, isn't it?

I wish you much luck and stay in touch! I will watch this thread!

Take care.

Mrs Lxxxxxxx

 

[joh117]

Thanks Mrs L

I did try and reply last night but it got lost for some reason and I was so annoyed I didnt want to re type it again.

I got myself 4 gold stars in a row so I am very happy. Today so far so good. I am in week 4 of management (again!) and I wont be doing it a 3rd time that is for sure.

I am actually not doing it as the book states I want to loose a bit of weight so I am having 3 packs and 1 meal of green salad with dressing and either cottage cheese, hard boiled egg, tofu or Quorn. So for being veggie I am not been too adventurous right now. I have had veggie and dips when I feel like it but to be honest I am not hungry so fill up on water.

The scales are moving I was 3lbs lighter this morning so I am hoping to see a good result in the next few weeks and then I can embrace Management and the choices further once I am maintaining the weight rather than loosing.

I am determined not to go into the binge mode and I find that the chart with the gold stars really motivating to stick to my plan so thank you Cerulean.

I need to do more thought records as I have been fairly bad at those. I have signed up to weightlossresources for 3 months after the 3 day trial as I found it so good to help me know what calories I am having.

It is interesting how me, you and Sarah are dealing with Management. I knew it would be hard much harder than foundation or development. I think I am such a perfectionist and I was adamant not to eat when on the packs and stuck to the programme religiously that I felt a failure when I went off the rails in Management.

However I have now realised that actually no I didnt fail it is part of the learning process. I now know to handle Alcohol with caution (shame as I love a drink that probably where the weight gain came from as I drank a lot through Uni and my 20's) I am not sure how I deal with the binging on bad foods when drinking or the hangover eating the next day. Need to speak to my LLC on this one and put some thought into it is not an option not to drink ever as it is part of our social life (not as often now I have Erykah but still once or twice a month).

I know I feel much better and am happier with myself at the lowest I got 9st 6.5lbs so I need to get back down there and I know that if I get to 9st 10lbs I am not happy. I know when to pull back but I will go on clothes rather than the scales. I am not going into a size 12 I want to be a size 10.

Mrs L back to the Veggie thing I bought the book skinny ***** and I am reading through it gives you food for thought that is for sure. Whether I will follow it I am not sure but I am thinking maybe I should avoid dairy as cheese is a downfall for me and we have a really good organic shop near work that stocks lots of soya products so maybe I might try the Soya versions of cheese and margarine once I am back to a full range of foods.

I have some really good recipe books that I got when I lived in Australia as you couldnt buy ready made meals like here and had to make things from scratch so I did a lot of cooking there. Now I am back in the world of work I dont seem to have enough time to cook fancy meals like I used to in Oz but I plan on spending more time cooking on a weekend and on my day off on a monday as I do enjoy cooking nice meals.

I should get on as I am at work. I have a delivery coming from Tesco tonight with more salad stuff and Brocolli and Cauliflower as I love these but only cooked. Did try then raw but much nicer steamed a little so still a bit crunchy

Jo

 

[joh117]

I had a another very good day yesterday. I am looking forward to my weigh in tomorrow night as I feel sure there will be a loss and not a gain.

We are going to York races on sunday to the Family day and taking a picnic so I will have to make sure I have a coping mechanism in place as there will be lots of nice (naughty foods) being brought by friends. I will make sure I have a lot of veggie chopped up with a salsa dip and a big bowl of salad with yummy dressing to keep me from straying

I finally feel my head is back in the right place not thinking about what I can binge on next but what healthy veg I have in the fridge to eat.

I had a delivery from Tesco last night and I get the organic medium box of fruit and veg that they do. I love opening it as I never know what we are going to get.

Anyway best get on will post later but I do intend to get my gold star today. Feeling very positive

Jo

 

[joh117]

Wish me luck I am going for weigh in tonight in just over an hour. I have had another good day so far. I am hungry but I am going to wait until I get back from class in another 3 hours to have anything.

I am finding sugar free chewing gum is helping me be good if I have that in my mouth I cant eat anything else. Seems to be working so far.

Will post later with an update

Jo

PS I am not updating my ticker at the moment as feel bad about the gain

 

[Mrs Lard]

Hi Jo

This is such a great thread! Well done for being so diligent. I hope the weigh in went well; would you mind me asking you how tall you are?

Now you are back on track, do you think the picking was addictive or just habitual? Did you find that the sweet stuff made you crave it more?

Keeping fingers crossed for your WI result.

Take care.

Mrs Lxxxxxxxxx

 

[joh117]

Will post more tomorrow but I lost 3.5lbs so a very happy bunny.

Mrs L I will answer your questions tomorrow must get to bed as shattered

Jo

 

[joh117]

Hi Jo

This is such a great thread! Well done for being so diligent. I hope the weigh in went well; would you mind me asking you how tall you are?

Now you are back on track, do you think the picking was addictive or just habitual? Did you find that the sweet stuff made you crave it more?

Keeping fingers crossed for your WI result.

Take care.

Mrs Lxxxxxxxxx

Well as you know the weigh in went well. I was really pleased as I aimed to loose 2lbs a week using the weightlossresources but I managed 3.5lbs.

I am 5ft 2.

Now you are back on track, do you think the picking was addictive or just habitual? Did you find that the sweet stuff made you crave it more?

That is an interesting question Mrs L. I think the picking was a bit of both. Some of it was habitual but the sweet tooth I developed was more like an addiction I couldnt get enough sweet things. Now touch wood I have been thinking about this I feel OK around sweets again now. I have chocolate in the house and it has not passed me lips and I am strong enough at the moment to say No to it.

I am eating a lot of sugar free chewing gum though but it is working for me right now and that is what matters to me. Be good for my teeth if nothing else hey!

So I gained my 7 gold stars. I mentioned this in management group last night and they seemed to think it was a good idea. I had a bit of a strop at class last night (well afterwards) I have waited months for a proper slot to be arranged and then a new older lady joined us and wanted to move the class to a tuesday as she cant do thurs. I originally wanted a tues but it didnt fit in so hence why its now thursday. So I said to the LLC I have waited for months for a proper slot and I dont see why it should get moved all the time to suit everyone. I was the first person to do management with her when she moved to York.

Anyway the LLC said no we will keep it on a thursday. So I was pleased with that. I was assertive rather than stroppy I guess.

Does anyone else find it strange in Management when you keep getting new people joining the group etc.. the dynamics change. We had the best group in foundation there are only 2 of us left now but we are in management together but in foundation you didnt get people coming and going all the time it was a closed group whereas now the dynamics are constantly changing and I find it hard to gel with some of the people in the group and we dont really know very much about each other whereas before in foundation you got to know everyone very well.

I dont know just a thought I am having. Dont get me wrong I know its my own journey but I am thinking to get the most out of the class. Didnt get any counselling last night just went through the foods you can have in weeks 3 and 4 which I have already done so not really sure why I was there.

God I am in an odd mood today but over the moon that I lost!

Best get on as at work and loads to do.

Need to write my shopping list for Tescos tomorrow to make sure I only get stuff for the picnic at the races on the list!

Jo

 

[Mrs Lard]

Hi Jo

I have only been to a few Management sessions and our LLC is fairly strict about times; the class is when it is and that's that. Well done for being assertive.

With all the comings and goings, didn't you find that that was the same in Development?

I do know what you mean about connecting with people; I LOVE our Management group (because I found some Development members tough to connect with, to be honest and was glad to get away - shocking admission, I know!). BUT I was not able to get to class last week and one of my Foundation Friends said that there were loads of new people in the Management group (and not the ones I have connected with) so it will be interesting when I get back into the swing of things.

What sort of counselling do you get? We talk about our past week and the issues that come up from that; even though we are all at different stages, the issues seem relevant for us all. There are several really inspirational women in my Management group, too and that makes a big difference - they are happy to share their knowledge and experience.

Good luck with the continued hard work!

Take care.

Mrs Lxxxxxxxxxx

 

[joh117]

Well I have had a bad few days. Well no my life has been good but my diet and well made plans went out of the window. I guess Ii just hate been good all of the time.

It all started on friday night. I think a trigger for me is loneliness. My hubby was out supposedly for one drink but as always ends up staying out till all hours which I think tipped me over the edge. I lost the willpower but in the grand scheme of things I only had a bit of dried fruit that I didnt need. Otherwise the day was good but I kept reaching for food in the evening but I made good choices but I know I didnt really need the extra sugar free jelly or natural yogurt!

Sat was going ok until I went to see my cousin who got the wine out and well the rest is history I had everything I should have had.

Sunday I went to the races and although I didnt drink in excess as I was driving as soon as I saw all the nice food everyone had brought something in my head just said Sod it one more bad day wont hurt.

So here I am retaining water for sure as I didnt drink anywhere near what I should have done all weekend and weighing heavier on the scales. I am hoping this rectifies itself in the next couple of days when I am back in Adult mode of thinking and only eating what I have pledge to myself I will.

So far today I am having a good day and my head is where I need it to be. I am having a salad with omlette for my tea so looking forward to that. I hope it doesnt stick to the pan as otherwise it will be more like scrambled egg!

Not beating myself up but no gold stars for me for a few days. I am determined to get one today though.

I tried the new vanilla shake on sat morning (hated the old one) and I was shocked at how yummy it was. I think I will be getting a few more this week.

Jo

 

[joh117]

Well I had a good day yesterday managed to get myself a gold star. I hope that any damage I have done over the weekend will be rectified by my weigh in on thursday. I will have a good run of trying to be good for the next 10 days before I head to Prague for the weekend. I intend to be good there and will try and make the right choices but I think as long as I maintain the weight that week I will be fine and if I loose its a bonus if I gain well then its my own fault!

I am now aware that if I want to stay a size 10 then I am going to have to be careful for the rest of my life. Something that is hard to come to terms with but I know I cant just eat what I want as I do gain weight so very easily. It is putting this knowledge into practice which is the hard part but practice makes perfect as they say!!!

Jo

 

[joh117]

Well its weigh in tonight and I am kicking myself. I was not good yesterday. Seemed to need sugar and I gave in.

I am doing well again now. But I am not in a good place in my head. I will not be happy until I get back down to 9st 7lbs or below. I dont like my clothes they feel tight.

Went to Next at lunch to try on size 10 clothes and I do still get in them but in my head I am fat and I hate the way my body looks and feels.

I do not like being in the place and I think the only way to get out of it is to shift this 7lbs or 8lbs.

I hope I have stayed the same for weigh in but I think I have gained.

I have 8 days will I go to Prague and I really want to have a good loss for next week so I am back to been good. My overall goal is still achieveable as I have 5 weeks to the wedding. I need to loose 2 lbs a week which I should be able to do on 1100 cals a day.

I could :cry:but there is only me to blame and only I can do something about this. I am going to take the bull by the horns and beat this. I want to feel like I felt at 9st 7. I was happy and content I didnt want to loose anymore I was happy. Its amazing how much 7 or 8lbs can make to how your clothes fit!

Jo

 

[joh117]

Well I put on 3 lbs. So annoyed with myself but I am back in adult thinking and had a good day yesterday followed the programme to the T. I was very bloated yesterday and was sure I was retaining water. I am drinking 4 litres at least (thats just at work by 4pm) a day.

I will see how I get on this week but I am determined to beat this and also get into the dress for the wedding. Well I can get into the dress but I want it to look as good on me as when I bought it.

I had a discussion with my LLC she suggested I maybe go it alone on food. I was very uncomfortable with that thought. I could not see why I would want to do that. It is the bingeing that I need to beat not give up on management.

I do believe I am learning I know I turn to food in boredom (when I am home alone on an evening this is rare thank goodness), when I am tired (should get my butt in bed LOL), when I am under the influence of alcohol (got to get a control on this one although I dont drink very much only on occasions maybe 2 times a month though maybe a little more in summer).

I did a tesco order online on wed night but went back in on thursday morning and amended the order as I had ordered stuff that was for my hubby and Erykah but in the back of my mind it was because I wanted the food. So they got deleted as I know I would have strayed as the rebelious child had already asked for the items the adult had to take them away!

Anyway my head is in a better place this morning and I am feeling very positive drawn a line under last week and looking forward to the challenges that will raise their heads this week!

Bring it on

Jo

 

[Mrs Lard]

Hi Jo

How are you doing? I was a bit confused; was your LLC saying you don't have to come to Management sessions anymore?

I've done lots of reading about bingeing, which I am trying to process. Once I have, I shall post on here and hope it helps. If it's any consolation, many people in my Management group seem to struggle with...boundaries. And boundaries can be things we put between ourselves and food - not just in relation to other people (which is how I saw boundaries until that moment). Not sure if that makes any sense. Well done for cancelling items on home delivery; that's what I have been doing - buying stuff for others (yes, it genuinely was) but then I ate it! Doh!

You are not on your own! As long as you are learning from your lapses, you are doing really, really well!

Big kiss.

Mrs Lxxxxxxxxxxx