New Life, New Journey, New ME- New Goal !

[farmgirl]

Its ok, I'm safe ! I managed to climb out of the biscuit tin and, luckily, my fall was broken by 2 pieces of rye bread smothered in butter, cream cheese and strawberry jam so I had a nice soft landing
Only slight problem is that rye bread makes me very psychic. In fact, I can now predict with 100% certainty that sometime tonight my bottom is going to be VERY POORLY
:break_diet: O well, I suppose I deserve it.
Back to SS tomorrow. Wish me and my bottom good luck for tonight :wave_cry:

 

[cornishkez]

Hi FG, I'm on a restart and have been reading some diaries of people I haven't seen on here before. Just spent the last hour (in between watching dancing on ice) reading through the whole of your diary.

You've done so incredibly well! I can't wait to be back into new weight loss again and heading towards my goals.

I too live in the countryside and have horses, cats and dogs! I've got an ex racehorse who in her 20's now and a youngster who is 2 and a half. I am losing weight firstly for my wedding in July and so that I can back my own horse (and ride him) when the time comes. I too dabble in natural horsemanship, parelli mainly. It would be amazing to be able to ride caleb bridleless!

 

[farmgirl]

Feeling pretty crappy. I've been a piglet for the last 11 days and still not got back on SS
I start the days well but usually by 4pm I have started eating (anything and everything).
TOTM is over a week late now so hormones going nuts, plus I am trying to get the baby I'm looking after to sleep through the night so I am very tired.
Also, because I am staying/working in someone elses home and on duty 24 hrs a day I can't do the usual things to distract myself such as baths, long walks, cinema etc.
Don't understand why I can't get back on track. I was doing so well and was so happy. I must just remember that I can't let myself have any cheats or treats until I am at goal. I can't be trusted.
Starting to feel some of the old feelings of self loathing coming back and didn't realise how much they used to be a part of my everyday life
Very miserable :cry:
I'll just try and take the day hour by hour
Hope you all have a better day xxx

 

[farmgirl]

Wasn't going to weigh myself as couldn't bear to admit to you all how stupid I've been but decided to face up to it and I weigh 10st 4 so I've put on 7 lbs. I've also taken myself back up over the 10st barrier that I was so happy to have broken
Can't even crawl away to cry as I'm working.
.5 ltr water
8am peppermint tea
11am large hot shake made from 1 pack capp and half pack vanilla and 14 oz water, plus large teaspoon coffee.

 

[cornishkez]

Stop giving yourself such a hard time! This diet gets harder the closer to goal you get, because the urgency is no longer there.

If you are struggling to do ss, then why don't you try ss+ or even 810. You will still lose weight, and it will help you work your way up the plans.

Restarting after a break is the hardest, so don't beat yourself up! We've all been here! X

 

[enlightenme2]

Actually it's probably your body telling you to go up plans, once you hit a bmi of 25, you're supposed to work yourself up the plans, and you don't seem to be eating enough... it'll put your metabolism out of whack for sure

 

[enlightenme2]

So how are you doing hun? Hope work hasn't gotten you swamped! let us know what you're up to

 

[Tessieg1]

Hi Farmgirl, I haven't been on the boards for a while, so thought I'd just pop in to see how you're doing? Hope to hear from you soon. x

 

[farmgirl]

I've been bad, very bad :cry:
Working in Johannesburg was very hot and VERY boring and I ended up nibbling, except the clients ate out alot and there wasn't much to eat except cereal and cheese sandwiches so I ate that,mostly out of boredom.
Got back to London and had just lost all momentum to diet and pretty much ate what I wanted. I didn't go too crazy but was still pretty much picking all day. I put on a few lbs then, a few more over 4 days home and I don't know what I am now.
I am working in the Scottish borders and will be home on monday, in 3 days time, and have set this time as proper restart.
I hate the way I look and feel and know I will have put on at least a stone over the last month Like a runaway train, I just couldn't stop myself.
Also set off my ulcer so now, despite medication, I have the constant sensation of acid in my throat. I am trying to minimise this by cutting out sugar and fat and spicy stuff (doesn't leave alot ) which will have the advantage of helping me into ketosis quicker when I get back to my shakes on Tuesday. I really wish I had some with me as they sort out my ulcer immediately.
I'll weigh myself Tuesday morning and report the damage
Hope you are all doing better than me xxx

 

[Tessieg1]

Hello Hon, nice to hear from you again. Sorry to hear you've had a tough time lately. At least you're preparing to go back on the shakes on Tuesday, so whatever the weight gain is - remember that you'll lose it really quickly again with CD. That's the beauty of this diet.

Have a good weekend. x

 

[farmgirl]

Pretty fed up on tuesday last week when I weighed myself and found I had put on over a stone and was 10st 13 but decided to look on the bright side because at least I was still in the 10's
Because I knew I only had a week at home I was buzzing around like crazy getting things done and I really think keeping busy is the answer because I found the diet pretty easy.
I stopped feeling crap the minute I stopped eating crap and my ulcer was much better within 24 hrs. The only problem was that when the ketosis high hit, it hit overnight so thursday night I was buzzing and hardly got any sleep.....oh well
I lost 7lbs so am pretty pleased, and think I look alot less bloated. Don't know what my loss will be this week as it is TOTM but am working away with no access to scales so won't know how I am getting on for 2 weeks so will just have to be good and have faith
Good luck everyone xxx

 

[farmgirl]

Found perfect recipe for making CD easier....
Go and work for an indian family who do lots of home cooking and offer it to me but I have an ulcer and don't like spicy food so NO food temptations.
Add a tiny galley kitchen with floor space about 2ft by 4ft which, because they have 2 staff and relatives staying means there are never less than 2 people in tiny kitchen at all times.
No kettle so need to boil water for shakes in a pan on hob (also constantly in use).
No jug for blending shakes so have to use pan which spreads shake all over tiny kitchen meaning my beloved cappuccino shake was lumpy and much depleted :cry:
Hey Presto....instant starvation
Went out yesterday and bought a jug and now spend my days with 1 ear constantly tuned in to the kitchen. When I hear activity quietening down a little I grab a shake, dash upstairs and start boiling and blending as fast as I can before the hoards descend again !!!!
Apart from that the people are nice and I have a suitcase full of cd products and its only for 1 week so should survive

 

[farmgirl]

This afternoon I waited and waited until I couldn't hear any sounds from the kitchen, grabbed my vanilla shake satchet and scampered upstairs, really looking forward to it as vanilla is my 2nd most favourite.........only to find someone cooking, really quietly and they were using all the hobs and work surfaces so I skulked back downstairs, tail between my legs :cry:
Thank heavens for chocolate tetras or I would have been devastated
The meal took hrs to prepare and created such wonderful smells that, despite my ulcer, I was tempted. I managed to stay strong though so another day sorted
Hope everyone is doing well xxx

 

[farmgirl]

I think I suffer from body dismorphia as I always think I look bigger than I am. Part of my job is to train the Nepalese maid to look after the baby so she is shadowing me to see what I do.......it doesn't help that she is 4 ft and about 4 st so can you imagine how I feel now !!!!!!!
I feel like a bloody great lumbering giant
Oh well, thats life . There will always be smaller/slimmer people but there will also always be bigger ones too.
Had to have a bar tonight which makes 4 products but it was either that or go eat indian food
Night folks x

 

[leeds123]

FG, you made me laugh. your diary entries are really really funny. ever thought of penning your experiences in a book? i'd love to read more about all the different people and cultures and families you visit. more more more please!

oh and well done on your loss so far. chuckle chuckle...

 

[farmgirl]

Thanks Leeds It certainly is interesting
Managed to make shakes a bit easier by making them with hot tap water and then finish it off in microwave but was thwarted twice yesterday, once in the morning when I dithered for 5 mins as to whether I was ready for my cappuccino and, in that time, the whole family, plus staff and driver all descended on the kitchen for lengthy breakfast so I had to sit sulking for 2 hrs before they left.
Later on I could hear nothing from the kitchen, so I crept to the bottom of the stairs and listened again, still nothing so got my shake, went upstairs to the open plan kitchen/diner.....only to find the grandmother asleep on the sofa and my hand blender is very noisy, so.... back down again :cry:
Only problem is I am running out of tetras and they have just extended my contract for another week !!! I have lots of satchets so will just have to become more cunning and speedy
The Grandmother insisted I try a little bowl full of chickpea stuff and I couldn't refuse (I mean it !!! she is lovely but scary !!!) so I did and they were nice but hope they don't knock me out of ketosis